Someone Like me

by Lesley Cheetham

  The breakfast was a buffet and I decided to try and have a piece of every single thing on the menu. Malika rolled her eyes at me and took some toast and a cup of tea. I had got through two cups of hot chocolate, cereal, a round of toast and jam, and was just starting on a chocolate croissant when Malika suddenly looked horrified.

  ‘Don’t look round,’ she said, ‘it’s Papa. He’s got his back to us. Quick, we can get out here.’ She indicated the exit to her left. We rushed out of the door. I managed to hold on to my croissant. We didn’t bother with the lift but took the stairs two at a time, haring down the corridor to our room. Once safely inside we collapsed on the bed, panting heavily.

  ‘That was close,’ I said.

  ‘We didn’t clear up the table,’ said Malika, looking worried. ‘They will think we are very rude.

  ‘It was an emergency,’ I said, stuffing the remnants of the croissant in my mouth, ‘it couldn’t be helped. ‘I’m going back to sleep. Wake me in an hour.’

  I heard Malika starting the water in the shower and I lay still, waiting for my heartbeat to return to normal. I didn’t sleep for long and got into the shower myself to freshen up before Nora’s visit.

  ‘Do you think she will turn up?’ I asked when there was a rap at the door. Malika hesitated, then went and opened it. She came back into the room followed by her aunt. Nora ignored the armchair, perching instead on the edge of a hard backed chair close to the door, as if ready to flee at any moment.

  ‘Speak in English,’ Malika said.

  ‘How did you find me?’ she said, her French accent was very strong.

  ‘Jasmine found you. Jasmine is my half-sister. We only just found out about each other.’

  ‘Caroline’s daughter,’ said Nora, ‘I can see the likeness.’

  ‘You know my mother?’ I asked. She shook her head.

  ‘I’ve seen a photo.’

  ‘Dad’s mother is ill and Caroline called to tell him,’ continued Malika. ‘Jasmine found out he’d been in England and she wanted to know what he was doing here. He’s been very strange, Nora, he didn’t tell us he was in England. He went to visit his mother and left your photograph there. Jasmine saw your photo and assumed it was Maman. When she showed me the photograph I knew straight away it was you and that it was a recent photo, which meant that you were alive. Why did you disappear like that? I was so afraid you were dead.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘I have some bad news for you.’

  Nora sat down on the bed.

  ‘Not Sara?’ she whispered, her eyes large and filled with fear.

  Malika knelt down beside her and took her hands.

  ‘No. You must prepare yourself. It’s your brother. Ali has died.’

  A strange sound escaped from Nora’s mouth and her skin went a strange colour. ‘Ali, dead? Really, are you sure?’

  ‘I’m sorry to tell you so suddenly but I thought you would want to know. It only happened last week. Mum has gone to stay in Lille. I know you were very close. I’m sorry to make you sad.’

  Nora stood up and went over to the window. She gazed outside for what seemed like a long time. Then she came back over to us, shaking her head.

  ‘You aren’t making me sad mon enfant, quite the opposite. For the first time in years I am happy.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Malika.

  Nora remained silent, staring out of the window. At last she turned around to face us.

  ‘Ali is the reason I left France,’ she said, sighing.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Malika said, sitting down on the floor.

  Nora nodded, ‘I think you are old enough to hear the truth. When I was sixteen I had a boyfriend and I became pregnant. My parents knew nothing about my relationship and when they found out they were horrified. Ali in particular took the news badly. He was angry when he found out and he hit me so hard, I was afraid that I had lost the baby. He wouldn’t leave me alone after that, he was constantly taunting me about the shame I had brought upon the family. I was so young, and I was terrified, but I couldn’t bear to give up my baby. Ali swore that if I gave birth he would kill the child. I couldn’t stay in the same house as that monster any longer so I ran away. I ran as far as I could and ended up here in England.’

  ‘Mum would have understood, why didn’t you come and live with us?’

  She smiled sadly. ‘I know that now but at the time I believed my mother when she said I was disgracing the whole family. Sara was pregnant with you and I was scared that if she knew where I was Ali would be able to find me.’

  ‘Your mother went back to Morocco shortly after that.’

  ‘I know, I heard.’

  ‘From Michael?’ I asked. She nodded.

  ‘I don’t understand, why does Papa know about you? Has he always known? How could you tell him and not Maman?’

  ‘It wasn’t like that. I only got in touch with him recently. I had a problem that I needed help with. Michael was the only person I could think of to help me.’

  ‘What problem. . ?’ Malika started to say, the words drying up in her mouth as somebody started banging loudly on the door. We all looked at each other, frozen with shock.

  ‘Open the door! I know you’re in there.’ Michael’s voice sliced into the room. Nora stood up and went slowly towards the door.

  ‘I’ll let him in,’ she said. I turned to Malika.

  ‘You know what this means?’ I said, relief flooding through me. She looked at me, her eyes shining and nodded. ‘Michael had a reason to be here. Maybe he had nothing to do with Miriam after all.’

  CHAPTER 35

  Nora opened the door to reveal Michael standing in the doorway. He charged into the room.

  ‘What the hell is going on?’ he asked. ‘What are you girls doing here? Why aren’t you in London?’

  ‘It was a surprise,’ I said. ‘We thought you would be pleased.’ I tried to smile at him but my mouth wasn’t moving properly.

  ‘Nora, tell me what is going on here? How have they found you?’

  Malika stood up. She went and stood behind her aunt’s chair and launched into a passionate speech in French. The words battered my ears and I wished I’d paid more attention in French lessons. At the end she burst into tears and her aunt pulled her onto her lap and started shouting at Michael.

  ‘Hello?’ I said, but Michael stood still, like stone.

  ‘Michael,’ Nora said. ‘It’s all out in the open now. It’s probably for the best.’

  ‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘I don’t speak French. Can someone tell me what’s going on? Why have you been meeting Nora in secret? How could you do this to Sara and Malika?’

  Michael sank down onto the couch. ‘Nora was in trouble. She contacted me and asked me to help her. She swore me to secrecy. I can’t tell you any more than that at the moment.’

  ‘Was it to do with Gran? Is that why you went to see her?’

  He sighed. ‘No, I just took the opportunity to visit her. I was hoping she’d let me back into her life now that we’re moving back to England. I showed her a photo of Malika, I was hoping she’d want to see her, but it just made her angry.’

  ‘So after you saw Gran, did you come back here, to this hotel, to see Nora?’

  He nodded. ‘It was Malika’s birthday, and I felt terrible about missing that, but Nora needed to see me. We went out for dinner. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, I have to respect Nora’s wishes.’

  ‘I forgive you, now that Nora is back. I can’t wait to tell Maman,’ said Malika. ‘She will be so happy.’ She looked at her aunt. ‘She never gave up hoping you would come back, you know?’

  Malika was a lot more forgiving than me. They were still keeping secrets from us.

  Nora stroked Malika’s hair. ‘I believe you, chérie, but I want you to promise me one thing. Not a word to Sara.’

  ‘But…’ Malika sat up in protest.

  ‘I want to be the one to tell her. You must understand that.’

  ‘So what happened to your child?’ I asked. �
��Did you have it?’

  She nodded. ‘A boy.’

  ‘He’s my cousin,’ Malika laughed. ‘Can I see him?’

  A sad expression crossed her eyes. ‘He isn’t here at the moment. Maybe another time.’

  Malika and I couldn’t stop talking on the way back to London. Michael was staying in Buckinghamshire for a couple of days more.

  ‘Did you think Nora was a bit funny about her son?’ Malika asked. ‘She didn’t seem to want to talk about him.’

  I nodded. ‘I reckon this secret that Michael isn’t telling us has something to do with him. But at least he has an alibi.’ Malika had quizzed Nora on the meal she’d had with Michael, and they’d been together all evening.

  ‘I still don’t get why he left the scene of the crime. I think I’ll just have to ask him about it, tell him about Crimewatch. Otherwise I will always be wondering whether he had anything to do with Miriam’s death or not.’

  Tess was pleased we were back.

  ‘I’ve persuaded Josh to have everyone over to his place tomorrow night – I’m hoping it will cheer him up. The band has got some stuff to talk about and Mark suggested you bring Malika. Come about seven, OK?’

  I went upstairs to my bedroom to have a rest before going out later. Malika was watching TV downstairs. As I hung my bag up in the wardrobe, a flash of pink caught my eye. It was Sadie’s jacket; I had forgotten all about it. I took it out of the wardrobe; despite having been scrunched up the material fell beautifully into place and was exquisitely soft to touch. I couldn’t resist putting it on. I looked at myself in the mirror, shoving my left hand in the pockets as I did so. A wodge of paper was in the pocket and I drew it out, curious. My stomach did a somersault. I knew straight away what it was. It was the missing pages from the diary. I made sure my bedroom door was shut and I sat on the floor, unfolded the papers and started reading.

  I went to the restaurant last night as arranged with Trevor. I deliberately wore my jeans and a jumper and he had a go at me for not dressing up. I said to him he sounded like he thought we were on a date and he said that of course we were. I told him not to be silly, then came out with my speech – how he had been really good to me, giving me presents and stuff but I was worried he had got the wrong idea. I told him when I kissed him that one time it was my idea of a joke – he knew I was going out with AJ after all. His eyes kind of bulged when I said that and that’s when I began to feel uneasy. I was right to be because then he told me that he had booked a room upstairs in the hotel. That really scared me. I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid. How could he think I would ever go out with him – he is so old, apart from being my half uncle. I pretended to go to the toilet but I went to reception and asked the lady there to book me a taxi. When the cab came I asked her to wait five minutes, then send a message through to Trevor that I had been taken ill and gone home. I spent the whole journey back watching the mirror, terrified that Trevor would try to follow. I was so relieved when the cab made it home and even more so when I ran into one of Josh’s friends just outside my house. I couldn’t hide how upset I was and burst into tears. I ended up telling him everything. We went for a long walk, then a coffee, before he walked me home. It was gone three when I finally went to bed. He helped calm me down and I made him promise not to say anything. I couldn’t tell Mum and Dad, they think Trevor can do no wrong. I am so glad we are going on holiday next week. I hope I never have to see that man again.

  The pages came to an abrupt end. She must have taken them to stop anyone finding them. I stood up and paced around in circles; I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I realised I was still wearing the jacket, and put my hands back into the pockets, hoping there might be a few more pages. I hadn’t checked the right pocket and I thrust my hand inside, only to find another piece of paper. The paper was thicker; it was a photograph – the missing half of the beach photo to be precise, with something written on the back. A man had his arm around Sadie, his leather jacket on the edge of the shot as he awkwardly held the camera at arm’s length to take the picture. With a jolt I found myself looking into Mystery Man’s eyes. Trevor, I reminded myself. I turned the photograph over, ‘Me and my girl’ it said.

  If Khaled was the friend that Sadie had run into, this would explain how they knew one another and why he wouldn’t tell Fiona how he knew Sadie. I went to the wardrobe and took the diary out of my pocket. My hands were trembling as I turned to the extract before the pages had been removed. I needed to know what date this had been written on. The words burned into my eyes. May 25th. The day Miriam had been attacked. If I was right, then I was holding Khaled’s alibi. But how on earth could I use it, without betraying Sadie?

  CHAPTER 36

  ‘Jasmine, is that you?’ Mum’s voice rang out as I stepped into the hall. Malika looked at me, raising her eyebrows. I hoped my smile was reassuring.

  I went into the room. Mum was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee.

  ‘Darling,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed you.’

  ‘I bet you have,’ I said, as I went and gave her a hug. She was looking quizzically at Malika. ‘This is Malika, remember?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ she said. ‘I’m not likely to forget your sister am I?’ I gave her a warning glance. She held out her hand to Malika. ‘I’ve literally just got back,’ she said, sweeping her hand out with a flourish to indicate the bags dumped at her feet. ‘I know we’ve got loads to talk about and I want to hear all about you,’ she said to Malika, ‘but I’m dying for a long soak in the bath. I expect you girls have got plenty to do as it is, so let’s catch up later.’ She eased herself gently off the coach, wincing as if in pain. ‘It’s jet lag,’ she said to Malika, ‘a long flight and not much sleep. I’ll be fabulous company this evening, I promise you. Let’s go out to dinner.’

  ‘We can’t Mum, Josh has invited us over.’

  ‘Josh?’

  ‘Tess’s boyfriend.’

  Mum raised her eyebrows.

  ‘I can see a lot has been going on in my absence. Are you going out with that, whatshisname, Karl yet?’

  ‘Mum!’ I said. ‘Go and have your bath.’

  She stopped for a moment, staring at Malika. A pained look flittered across her face.

  ‘You do look a bit like Michael,’ she said. With that she disappeared off upstairs.

  Malika looked puzzled. ‘This is very strange, how you live here. Is it always like this?’

  ‘Pretty much,’ I said, ‘I tried to warn you.’

  ‘I guess I didn’t want to believe you.’

  Footsteps sounded overhead and the boiler in the kitchen started spluttering and gurgling.

  ‘She’ll be in there for at least an hour,’ I said, ‘then she’ll be on the phone to Clare. I bet we won’t see her again this evening.’

  Malika rang Josh’s doorbell and we stood back and waited. I felt a trickle of dread run through me; I couldn’t quite believe what I had read this afternoon. The more I found out about Sadie the more shallow I felt for getting involved in her life. Guilt about taking the diary was eating me up. I still didn’t know what to do about it; it sat like a stone in my bag at the moment, along with the pink silk jacket.

  Josh opened the front door. The colours around his eye were muted, less obvious. ‘Cheers for tidying up the other day,’ he said.

  ‘I’m glad your dad has got rid of that Trevor,’ I said.

  ‘He turned up again, you know, even after Dad rang him – I thought they were going to have a massive bust up. He screeched off on that stupid bike of his. I hope we never see him again. My sister’s mad as well because she reckons he was rooting around in her things. I don’t know whether he would do that kind of thing though – I hope it wasn’t anyone at the party.’

  A cold chill trickled slowly through my veins. The name Trevor made me feel sick. Since I had read Sadie’s diary she had become real to me, a person with feelings and worries. What was I thinking, following her around like that, copying her? She didn’t have the per
fect life that I thought she had. Now I knew stuff about her that I wished I didn’t and no way could I tell anyone. There and then I made up my mind to put the diary back. It was bad enough Trevor pursuing her. Wasn’t I just as bad?

  Josh led us into the sitting room, where everyone was sitting on the floor. Beers and cokes were lined up on the table. I stared at the cans, memories of the party flashing through my head. I took two cans of coke and handed one to Malika. She smiled. Tess was selecting some music on the iPod and Khaled and Des were chatting about their last rehearsal.

  ‘Are your mum and dad home?’ I asked Josh.

  ‘They’ve gone to the cinema. Sadie’s out but she’ll be back soon.’

  Malika sat down next to Khaled.

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ I said, ‘I need the bathroom.’ I took the stairs two at a time.

  Sadie’s door was closed. Even though I knew she was out, my heartbeat rose at the fear of being caught in the act. Supposing Josh was mistaken? This was no time to mess about. I pushed the door carefully and it swung open to reveal an empty room. I paused, listening. There was no sound from the bathroom either. I could feel the eyes on the large photo of Sadie watching me, following me around the room, judging me. Wasting no time I went straight to the drawer and put the notebook back where I had found it. I hung the jacket back on the door, making sure the papers were where I left them. As I shut the door I wondered if I would ever be able to put Sadie behind me. I squirmed with shame at the thought of how I’d behaved.

  A sound like that of the front door shutting caught my ears. I rushed out of the room, closing the door quickly behind me. I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. The sound of a muffled conversation pricked my attention. I closed the door softly, then made sure it was locked, as footsteps came up the stairs. My breath caught in my throat as I recognized Khaled’s voice. He was talking to Sadie. There was a shuffling noise and the stairs creaked. It sounded as if they were sitting at the top of the stairs.