Closed Off To You (Singing Star Trilogy #1)

by Rachel S. Rose

  Picking up my feet, he moved my clothes away. His hands wrapped around my ankles before moving up to caress my calf. Thank God I had shaved the day before. I usually let my hair grow out because I was lazy. It wasn’t like I had a man I needed to shave for.

  “So smooth,” he muttered.

  A warm feeling enveloped me as his hands travelled under my knees and up the back of my thighs. He cupped my hips before circling my buttocks.

  “Also smooth,” he whispered, running his lips over the area he had just caressed. I shuddered as he ran one hand up my spine and gently pushed me forward to lean over the arm of the sofa.

  “You smell good.”

  Positioning my arms on the sofa cushion, I rested my head between them. He had me bent over, quite powerless.

  A part of me loved it, but a part of me was afraid. I hardly knew him, yet, he had me exactly where he wanted me.

  Spreading my legs, Nathan hissed his breath through his teeth. “That’s a lovely sight.”

  His tongue darted directly onto my open pussy, sending a shock of pleasure throughout me. I groaned as his fingers dug into the flesh of my hips. My stomach flipped as he started to explore, swirling around my opening. He reached forward, licking the length of me. My hands clenched the material of the cushion under me as my eyes drifted closed. He moved his tongue in a circle around my clitoris. I shuddered as his breath hit the whole of me and tingles spread over my pussy.

  “Tastes good, too,” he muttered against me.

  I wanted to touch him. He hadn’t let me see him completely naked. I tried to get up, but his hand gently guided me back down as he stood. I heard the zip of his jeans open and the rustle of material as he stepped out of them. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him standing behind me.

  “I’ve been thinking about doing this since we last fucked.”

  I licked my lips, anticipating what he was about to do. He was going to take me over the sofa. My heart pounded as I pushed back into him when he cradled himself against my buttocks. The length of him was rock solid. He thrust up and down slowly before pulling away. He was ready and so was I.

  “Yes. Do it,” I said, not able to help myself.

  Nathan grunted as his fingers plunged into my pussy and stretched me open. I clenched around him as he made his fingers slick with my dripping wetness.

  “You’re going to enjoy this,” he muttered as he pushed the head of his cock into my opening.

  I gasped as he suddenly thrusted, moving me forward on the sofa. A rush of pleasure pulsated through my whole body as his cock buried deep.

  The arm of the sofa held me still, but he took my hips in a vice-like grip. Nathan wasn’t one to be romantic. When he wanted something, he took it. That much I already knew about him. Yet, there was something vulnerable about him. Something I could feel underneath the cold way he shut me out.

  He rocked into me again, making me groan as the tip of him hit my G spot. Leaning forward, he wrapped his whole body over me. Releasing one of my hips, he stretched up. His palm ran up my arm. His fingers entwined with mine, pushing our hands into the cushion. He withdrew slowly before plunging deep, his breathing growing heavy against the back of my neck.

  My whole body thrust against material as he moved in and out of me. I could hardly breathe as my chest pressed against the cushion. It didn’t matter, it felt amazing. My whole body vibrated with growing pleasure.

  “Are you okay?” he muttered against my skin.

  Words were useless, so I nodded as the pressure built up inside of me. His thrusting grew stronger as my breath came out in short bursts. The hand holding my hip came around the front of me. He forced it between the arm of the sofa and my body, his fingers finding my clitoris. He swirled fast as he pumped into me.

  All I could feel was his body pressing against mine, his cock slick against the walls of my pussy. The head of his cock pounded against the deepest part of me. His fingers swirled, making the nerves on the end of my clitoris start to vibrate.

  The pressure built. My mouth hung open as I tried desperately to get enough air to breathe. A yelp escaped me as Nathan’s teeth sunk into my shoulder. The pleasure of it was exquisite. A contrast to the sweet pressure that now spiralled around the whole of my hips. The beautiful sensations in my clitoris caused a deep rising to build inside as Nathan’s cock pumped in and out of me.

  He bit me again, sending the sensations tipping over. The pleasure sent me over the edge and my whole body shook as Nathan dug himself into me so deeply, I couldn’t breathe. He went still and groaned, his teeth still marking my skin. I shuddered uncontrollably as he held me tight against him.

  The sensations slowly started to ebb away. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had.

  “That was…amazing,” Nathan muttered when he finally found his breath.

  I shook my head, unable to get any words out. My muscles started to ache as Nathan collapsed on top of me.

  “Did you use anything?” I asked suddenly.

  He chuckled, moving my hair away from my neck, and brushing his fingers along the sensitive skin. “Of course I did.”

  He pulled out of me and got up slowly, leaving me where I was. His footsteps retreated to the bathroom, probably to sort out the condom. My heart had sped up when I realised that he might not have used anything. The last thing I needed was to get pregnant by a handsome young man who happened to be my brother’s best friend.

  When my body felt ready, I managed to crawl onto the sofa. Picking up the blanket that lay over the back of it, I wrapped it around me, and sank myself into the cushions.

  “Charlie would go mad if he knew what we’d just done,” Nathan said, coming back into the living room.

  Bending, he retrieved his clothes. As he got dressed, he looked down at me. My eyes were heavy, my body completely satisfied.

  “Charlie will never know.” I looked away when he grinned.

  My brother would go insane. He would hate us, probably forever. I wouldn’t be too pleased if he hooked up with Lizzie. Unless they fell in love, of course. So, I understood.

  “When can I see you again?” Doing up the button on his jeans, he sat next to me.

  He didn’t reach out or give me a hug. Not that I was expecting it. He had made it quite clear that he didn’t want that type of relationship.

  “Let’s not ruin it,” I said.

  He studied me, smiling when I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “You don’t what to see me again?” He reached towards me and stroked my cheek.

  I ducked my head, scared of the intimacy. “Do you want to see me again?”

  He shrugged, going back into his usual awkward self. Not that he was often awkward, just the one time. Now it was the second time. I was such a failure.

  “You’re fun. I like this,” he said, gesturing between us. His hand dug under the blanket and squeezed my boob.

  “Why me? You could have any woman to be your friend with benefits. Why are you trying to persuade me to be that type of person?”

  I sunk into that feeling of unworthiness as he pulled his hand back and tucked the blanket around me. He was already distancing himself.

  “You’re just as beautiful as any other girl. Okay, woman…” he muttered, after seeing my expression. “I know you don’t believe it, but you are.”

  “But you only want sex?” I couldn’t help it.

  He looked down at his hands where they rested in his lap. His whole persona changed as his shoulders lowered. Nathan lived with some heavy duty stuff. I could finally see it. The reason he pushed me away was because he couldn’t handle intimacy.

  “What is it that holds you back?” I whispered.

  “Haven’t we all got a past?” He got up and put on his coat.

  I bit my lip, unable to look up at him. Unable to watch him leave, again. I had chosen to sleep with him and it had been fun. Why did I have to keep ruining it?

  “Don’t leave like this,” I said to him.

  I fin
ally raised my gaze to meet his. He knelt on the floor in front of me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I let him hold me, just breathing against his neck. When he pulled away, he stroked my hair and kissed me quickly on the mouth.

  “Until next time,” he muttered.

  I shook my head, but he stopped the movement with his hands. He was determined to keep me as a friend with benefits. I was determined not to let that happen. We would be fighting a war for a long time.

  I laughed suddenly, unable to stay serious when his face became so intense. We had just had amazing sex, why couldn’t I just revel in that?

  “We will see. You’re still too young for me,” I muttered, getting to my feet and forcing him to back away.

  His snort made me look at him. An inkling of his age showed through as he smirked and slapped my arse over the blanket.

  “I’ll teach you a thing or two.” He followed me out to the hallway.

  “You wish,” I joked back, opening the front door.

  My whole being froze when my brother’s raised hand fell. His mouth dropped open as he saw my state of undress and Nathan’s pink cheeks.

  “What the fuck?” he exclaimed.

  I was still frozen, the blanket completely useless against the chill that came into the flat.

  “Charlie, it’s not…” Nathan stopped talking when he glanced at me and saw how obvious we were.

  Charlie shook his head as he backed away. Why had he come back? He never came back.

  “That really isn’t on, mate,” Charlie exclaimed. “That’s my sister!”

  I didn’t know what to do. My brother finding out about us was the last thing I wanted to happen. Certainly when it was only the second time we had ever done anything.

  “Charlie, it’s okay. Please don’t freak out.”

  My brother held up his hand as he spun away and stormed out of the communal hallway. Nathan stared after him, not making a move.

  “Go after him. Tell him that nothing’s going on between us. Tell him it was a one-off.”

  He frowned at me before moving. His body jerked, torn between whether to go to him, or to stay with me. I was fine, but Charlie wouldn’t be.

  “Just go,” I said, pushing his shoulder so he followed his friend.

  Nathan glanced back once as he rushed out of the hallway. My brother wouldn’t have got far enough for Nathan not to catch up. Hopefully, he could persuade him that nothing was going on. Technically, Nathan didn’t want me for anything other than sex. So, nothing was going on. Not that Charlie would see it that way. I didn’t know who I was kidding. I wouldn’t see it that way either.

  Letting the door slam shut, I stood still for a moment. The shame that flashed over Charlies face when he saw me standing almost naked next to his friend made me bite my tongue. Nathan seemed like a great guy, but he didn’t want me. No matter how much I laid in bed at night, fantasising about a life with him, he wouldn’t be the one I would settle down with.

  I hadn’t admitted my true feelings to anyone. I quite liked him. I didn’t know him that well, but the attraction was strong. There was something between us. Sex, yes, but something else lay behind his intensity. I wasn’t sure what it was.

  My feet slapped against the floor as I made my way to my bed and fell face forward. Nathan still didn’t have my phone number, so I wouldn’t know what happened. I cringed as the idea of Charlie telling my mother came into my mind. Surely he would save me the embarrassment?

  There was no point in worrying about it, my body was too tired. My fuzzy brain was too addled to think much more. My poor brother had an image of his wobbly bellied sister having sex with one of his best friends. No wonder he was upset. The image didn’t exactly thrill me either.

  I would make it up to him somehow. Maybe setting him up with Lizzie would distract him. Not that I really wanted him to get with my best friend. Surely there was a way I could say sorry so he would forgive me.

  I tried to keep my eyes open, just in case Charlie decided to phone. It didn’t work for long; Nathan had ridden me so hard, it didn’t take long to fall into unconsciousness.

  Chapter Nine

  Nathan

  “Mate, slow down,” I shouted as I ran to catch up to him.

  His long legs strode without slowing. He ignored me completely as he went around the corner and waved to the girls, who waited at the bus stop. Why had Charlie come back to the flat?

  I couldn’t have put on a very long performance if they’d only got as far as the bus stop.

  “You really need to leave me alone right now,” Charlie spat over his shoulder.

  The girls stood quickly, glancing between Charlie and me.

  “What’s up?” Lizzie asked.

  I grabbed Charlie’s shoulder, but he shrugged me off. “You need to tell him to leave me alone.”

  He flicked his hair out of his eyes as he carried on walking straight past the girls. They stared at me, torn between the pair of us. I stopped walking, knowing that it would be useless to try and talk to Charlie.

  “What happened?” Ella said.

  I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my lips as Charlie threw his middle finger up without turning round to face me. His retreating back hunched over when he realised that he wasn’t being followed.

  “He sort of caught me and Melissa…” I didn’t really want to tell them. It was none of their business. However, Melissa would properly say something so maybe it was best they comforted Charlie, instead of me.

  “You better go and speak to him then,” Ella said, nudging me in the back.

  She was right. Charlie was my friend.

  My feet pounded the pavement as I ate the distance between us. His footsteps sped up as he heard me approach.

  “That’s my sister, man,” he groaned.

  I fell into step beside him, not attempting to deny it. There was no point. “I’m sorry. We never intended for you to find out.”

  He swung towards me, holding his arms out to the side. “What the hell is going on between you?”

  I looked to the ground, my face heating as he watched me intently. Charlie knew my background. He knew everything about me. Going on benders made me open up to him when I was completely drunk. He knew my past.

  “Nothing.”

  Charlie gritted his teeth. I could tell by the movement in his jaw. If I wasn’t careful, he would throw a punch.

  “I’ve seen how you treat women. Don’t you dare treat my sister the same way. You need to leave her the fuck alone,” Charlie spat.

  I nodded quickly, knowing that he was right. Melissa was a nice woman. She wasn’t anything like the girls I mucked around with. She wouldn’t handle it the same way as the others. She would be distraught if I kept using her for my own gain. It wasn’t fair.

  “You’re right. I promise it won’t happen again.”

  Charlie narrowed his eyes on me. “Was that the first time? I don’t see how you ended up together tonight. You’ve only met her once.”

  I couldn’t look at my best friend. There was no way I could lie to him, but there was no way I could admit that I’d had sex with her before. He would probably physically kill me. I wasn’t ready to die.

  “What can I say? I’m sorry.” It would be better to put the blame on me. If I was honest with myself, it was my doing. “I seduced her. She didn’t see me coming.”

  Charlie nodded as he looked over to the girls. They hovered nearby. He gestured for them to come over, it was time we all got home.

  “Don’t ever go near her again,” Charlie hissed.

  He flicked his fringe out of his eyes and went to walk away.

  “I won’t. I promise. I won’t ever go near her again.” I frowned when my chest squeezed.

  He was right, of course. I was nothing but bad news for any woman. It was about time I stopped playing them. Melissa deserved someone who was good for her. Someone who could give her the family she craved. I didn’t know her that well, but everything I knew about her convinced me
that I was no good. She needed a better man.

  “Are we okay now?” Ella asked, linking her arm through Charlie’s.

  Martin had disappeared. I was about to ask where he was when I remembered that he lived in the opposite direction. At least that had saved us a bit of embarrassment.

  I debated whether to go back to tell Melissa that we had sorted things out. My hesitation was noticed. Charlie made eyes at me, questioning whether I would stay true to my word.

  “Can you let her know that we’re okay?” I asked him as we started to walk towards our respectable homes.

  “I will.” Lizzie dug her phone out of her bag and sent a text.

  When we got down the street, Ella and Charlie left us to go in the opposite direction. Lizzie put her hand on my forearm and stopped me from walking. “What is it about her? You must feel something.”

  I shook her off, ignoring her question as I carried on. It was bad enough that Melissa probed without her best friend trying to get into my head too.

  “Don’t bug me about her, okay?”

  Her heels clicked on the pavement beside me. It was the middle of the night, I should have been in bed, next to Melissa. Not that I would be. I hadn’t stayed around a woman’s house for a very long time. I was about to leave Melissa’s just as Charlie turned up anyway. That was my style.

  “You need to leave her alone then. She quite likes you, you know that, don’t you?” Lizzie tugged on my arm, pulling my hand out of my pocket.

  I had my phone grasped in my fingers, squeezing tight. Anything to try and help me keep my temper with the meddling woman. We weren’t fifteen anymore. It was no one’s business.

  Lizzie snatched my phone from me. I took a deep breath and kept walking. If I tried to get it back, I might get a bit too forceful. Not because I was a violent thug, but because someone was trying to control me, yet again.

  “I’ve saved Melissa’s number on your phone.”

  That made me stop. She came and stood in front of me, holding out the phone. I didn’t want to take it. If I had Melissa’s number, I would be even more tempted to get in contact. Just to say sorry. Charlie would kill me.