Next to Forever (Never Letting Go)

by Moose, S

  “Ah, shit!” Erin turns around and runs to the bathroom to shower and get ready.

  When I’m done getting ready, I give Erin a kiss and head out of the house and to the office. The drive is easy and quiet but my thoughts are taking over. I can’t stop thinking about Erin and the baby. The doctors all tell us that she’s okay, and I need to believe that but after a rough start, and then having her have to be in the hospital, it’s hard to think that she’ll be okay. Sometimes, I wish she’d listen to me, and stop being stubborn. I want the best for her and our baby.

  I park my car in the parking garage, grab my messenger bag, and head inside. Aly meets me by the elevator with coffee and a smile.

  “Good morning, Aly. You look happy this morning.”

  “Good morning, Connor.” She hands me my coffee, and we both enter the elevator. “It’s just a great day.”

  Sipping my coffee, I eye her and wonder. “So I take it that you and Joseph are doing well?”

  “Uh, well,” she stumbles over her words and looks at the ground. “Yes,” she shyly responds.

  “Hey, you don’t have to be embarrassed. Adam, Father, and I are happy for the both of you.”

  Aly softly laughs and nods her head. We get off the elevator, and she lists all of my appointments and meetings for today. I start getting a headache thinking about everything I have to do.

  “Alright, that sounds good.” I get settled in my office and hand her a few files. “Can you look over these and make sure I’ve signed everything? Once everything’s been checked, can you Fed Ex them? The address is on the top sheet.”

  “Sure thing, Connor. Anything else this morning?

  “No, but thank you, Aly.” She smiles before heading out of my office. I check my emails and answer a few. The morning goes by quickly, and before I know it, it’s almost two in the afternoon.

  Adam comes walking in with lunch. “You’re the best. I’ve been so busy with these meetings that I didn’t think about eating.”

  “Thank Soph. She came by earlier and brought us lunch.”

  Adam heads over to the table in my office and takes out the food. “Where is she now?” I ask, helping Adam take out the food from the containers.

  “She left to go home. She’s tired and wanted to go home and rest.”

  “Ah, okay.”

  Adam and I start eating and talking about the meetings for today. Things are going well but every day will be pretty busy for the next few weeks.

  “Has Vander been coming around lately?”

  Adam stops eating and leans back in his chair. “Yeah,” he answers. “It’s annoying, but Soph freaking loves the guy, and I don’t see why. There’s something off about him, but I can’t figure it out.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing, but Erin keeps telling me not to worry. I came home one night and he has her in his arms. I almost decked him.”

  “Same thing with Soph. But get this,” Adam looks at the door to make sure it’s closed. “I came home and Soph’s head was on his lap, and he was just staring at her. When I asked her about it, she brushed it off and told me not to worry.”

  I’m trying not to have anxiety or be jealous of Vander, but he needs to get a life away from Erin and Soph. After everything we’ve been through, you’d think I’d be okay and secure with our relationship, but Erin’s too trusting and with her past, I’m nervous about what’ll happen. Losing her would break my world and I’d fall apart. I couldn’t handle it, so the thought of possibly losing her makes me the way I am.

  I try to reason with Erin and encourage her to spend more time with her girlfriends, but as usual, my stubborn fiancée thinks it’s all in my head and tells me to stop worrying.

  Adam and I finish lunch and decide to take the girls to dinner this weekend. It sounds like a good idea, and it’ll be good to have the four of us spend time together. When I get back to my computer, I call the florist and have a dozen red roses and pink calla lilies delivered to Erin.

  “Would you like to include a message, sir?” The woman on the other line asks.

  “Yes,” I pause, thinking about what I want to say. “Can you write this on the card?

  Erin,

  I hope that you’re having a great day. I’m thinking about you and counting down the hours until I get to see that beautiful smile that makes me weak. You and our baby are my world.

  See you later, all of my love,

  Connor.

  The lady on the other line sniffles and says she’ll get everything together.

  My cell phone starts ringing, and I look to see that it’s Sophia calling. I answer but can’t help but wonder what’s going on. “Soph?”

  “Hi,” she weakly says. “Can you leave work and come over? I don’t feel good, and I don’t want to bother Adam. Please don’t tell Adam.”

  Quickly, I shut off my computer and grab my things. “I’m on my way.” It’s a little after four, and I tell Aly to let Adam know I had to leave but that I’ll talk to him later. I get in my car and drive over to Sophia and Adam’s house. On the way over, I can’t help but wonder what’s going on and why she didn’t call Adam. I wonder if I should call Adam, but Sophia did ask me not to. I hate being in the middle.

  I pull into their driveway and run inside. “Soph?”

  “In here,” she faintly says.

  When I enter the living room, Sophia’s on the couch in the fetal position. “Hey,” I kneel in front of her, pushing her hair back. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just in a lot of pain,” she cries. “I didn’t want to bother Adam.” She starts crying, and I get up and pull her on my lap.

  “Shhhh, it’ll be okay. What can I get you?”

  “Heating pad, please? And some sweet tea?” I slowly get up and get what she wants.

  “Soph, I need to call Adam. We can’t keep this from him.” I hear her sigh and she doesn’t respond. Without wasting any more time, I call Adam and let him know what’s going on.

  About twenty minutes later, Adam comes bursting in and runs over to Sophia.

  “Pretty girl?” he asks with his tone full of fear and worry. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  “I’m better now,” she answers, touching his face and giving him a reassuring smile.

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  Sophia looks at me before answering. “I, um, didn’t want to scare you. I knew Connor wouldn’t freak out like you are now.”

  Adam hangs his head and holds Sophia’s hand. “You need to call me whenever you feel this way.”

  “Hey, guys. I’m going to head home. Soph, I’m glad you’re okay.” I kiss her on the forehead and shake Adam’s hand.

  “Thanks, Connor,” Adam says, giving me a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I appreciate you being here for us.”

  “No worries.”

  I walk out of the house and get in my car to head home to be with Erin. While driving home I think about Erin and wonder if she’s done the same thing.

  As soon as I get home and walk inside, the aroma of chicken fills my senses. “Erin? Cooking?” I mumble. This girl has never cooked a day in her life. I have to see this. I walk into the kitchen and my sexy girl is by the stove, shaking her ass, and singing, ‘I Want Crazy’ by Hunter Hayes. I lean against the wall and admire the view from where I’m standing. Damn. There’s nothing sexier than seeing her like this.

  As she continues to sing at the top of her lungs, I begin clapping my hands together, and Erin turns around and her face turns bright red. “Connor!” She screeches. “What the hell?” I put my hands on her face and kiss her, plunging my tongue in her mouth, and she lets out a soft moan. “Why, hello there, handsome.” She kisses me again and then turns back to the stove.

  “You okay?”

  I grab a beer from the fridge and lean against the door. “I’m good now that I’m home.”

  Erin flashes me her smile and every single fear I have leaves my body.

  * * * * *

 
; Sitting at my desk, I can’t help but wonder how Erin’s doing. Things seem fine and she’s happy. I know I’m being overprotective, but when it comes to her, that’s the only thing I know.

  It’s fairly quiet in the office today. I check the time and it’s a little after noon. I decide to take an extended lunch and go to the park for a walk. When I get outside, I start walking, and it feels good to be away from the office. There are people walking around, some on their cell phones, some talking to their friends, others quiet but determined to get to their destination.

  “Connor?” I turn around and see Olivia walking toward me. Great, more stress that I don’t want to deal with.

  “Olivia, what’s going on?” My tone is a little on the tense and direct side, but with Olivia, I never know what she’s up to or what she is doing.

  “Nothing, I was just walking to the store to get some things.” There’s something different about her, and I wonder why she isn’t asking about the check or trying to hold my hand or hug me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s not trying to touch me but still, something’s off. “Listen, Connor. I know this is weird, and I’m sorry for being a bitch before.”

  “Ah, okay?”

  Olivia starts laughing. “No, I’m being serious. Listen, I gotta run but can we meet soon and talk?”

  A little hesitant to respond, I figure it’ll just be one of our monthly meetings. “Sure, I’ll text you.”

  “Sounds good! Have a good day!”

  What the fuck just happened?

  Chapter Ten

  Erin

  Connor and I are sitting in the exam room, waiting for Doctor Benson to come back in. Today we get to hear our baby's heartbeat and see how everything is going.

  "Are you nervous?" I ask Connor.

  "A little but I'm excited," he kisses my hand and we sit in silence, waiting for her to come back in.

  Doctor Benson comes in and takes a seat next to us. "Alright, you two, let's see how your baby is doing!" She takes out a tool, and Connor's eyes go wide.

  "Where does that go?"

  We both laugh. "Connor, just watch the screen."

  Once the tool is in, the most beautiful sound comes alive in the room.

  "That's our baby," Connor gasps, staring at the screen.

  "Our baby."

  "Everything is looking great so far!" Doctor Benson takes out the tool and goes over some second trimester information.

  * * * * *

  September flies by so fast, and I’m slowly starting to show. I can’t believe I’m a little over four months pregnant! Everything is going by smoothly with no complications or issues except that I’m tired most of the time. Albert keeps telling me to take some time off and not to worry but I feel bad. The company is doing well, and I’m one of the top agents. I’m good at my job and it’s a rewarding feeling to help people. Doctor Benson reiterates no coffee, and I groan every single time someone walks by with a Starbucks cup in their hand.

  Connor wants me to stay home at all times, but he knows that’s a losing battle. I hate not having my own money and being able to provide for my own things. It kills Connor that I want to be independent, but he still loves me nonetheless. Plus, he knows better than to argue with me.

  We start to fix up the nursery, and Sophia’s been helping me figure out how to design the room. I want everything to be perfect but not overdone. Our baby will have everything in this nursery and a great life, but I have to slow down and stop buying everything I see. Our credit card bill came yesterday and Connor may have yelled a little. I guess spending a thousand dollars at Target isn’t a good thing to do.

  Besides the little credit card incident, it’s been going great and I love every stage of planning. Connor’s been a huge help, and he loves shopping with me even though he denies it when Adam’s around. We have everything pretty much planned and soon everything will be ready for our precious baby. There’s a rocking chair by the bay windows, and lately, I’ve been sitting in the rocking chair, looking out the window, and listening to music with baby bump. When we’re listening to country music, especially Blake Shelton, baby bump is moving around like crazy. Connor doesn’t know about our little dancer, and I can’t wait to feel our baby moving.

  When I’m in the nursery, a feeling of love and hope fills me. Just thinking about our baby and future makes me happy. The feeling is hard to describe, but Connor understands because he feels the same way when he’s in here decorating. The look in his eyes tells me that he can’t wait either. The crib is finally here and it’s starting to feel so real. The beige colored crib is against the wall, and the changing table stands next to it. We haven’t decided on the color of the room or any other decoration, since we’re not sure if we’re having a boy or girl. Connor’s slowly building a bookcase for baby so we can start putting books that we use to read when we were young. Our baby is going to have the world and baby will always know how much we love him or her.

  We talk more about how to set up the nursery and decide to start our registry once we find out if we’re having a baby boy or a baby girl. After discussing how I want the nursery to be, we head downstairs and relax. It’s been a while since we’ve done this. Connor’s been working late into the night, and it sucks having him come home late at night but I understand work is getting busy.

  “Connor, I think we should paint the nursery yellow!” I walk over to him on the couch and sit on his lap. “Yellow is a neutral color and I want everything to be set up and pretty.”

  He rubs my knee and his hand trails down my leg with a sexy smirk on his face. “Babe,” he says, kissing me on the top of my nose. “We have a while longer before he gets here.”

  I rest my head on his shoulder. “How do you know we’re going to have a boy?”

  “I have a feeling.” He kisses my forehead again and we sit on the couch enjoying each other’s company.

  “I want everything to be perfect.” I touch my stomach and even though I’m only sixteen weeks pregnant, it feels amazing knowing our baby is growing inside me every day. My hand is on my stomach and I can feel baby bump kicking. “Oh my God! Connor!” I take his hand and place it on my stomach. He looks at me with wide eyes.

  “This is amazing.” Connor kneels down in front of me, kissing my stomach. “Hi, baby. It’s daddy. Are you happy right now? You’re moving a lot.” We both laugh and talk to baby bump.

  “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

  Connor doesn’t wait to answer. “I want a healthy baby. I don’t care if we have a boy or a girl.” He brings me down for another kiss. I love how he makes me feel. He trails his tongue on my bottom lip and I let out a soft moan.

  “Connor,” I whimper. His hands go under my shirt, playing with my bra, trying to get it off.

  Suddenly, we hear… “Erinnnnnnnnn!”

  Connor clenches his jaw. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  I laugh, kissing him on the cheek and getting up to straighten my clothes. Sophia comes into the kitchen smiling. She looks at Connor and me, and covers her mouth. “Oh! I’m sorry!”

  Connor gets up, mumbling under his breath and goes outside on the deck. I can’t help but laugh when he gets like this. “Don’t worry about him. I’ll take care of him tonight.”

  Sophia covers her ears and closes her eyes. “Ew, stop, I don’t want to know anymore!”

  My eyes go to the bags that are by her feet. “What do you have in those bags?”

  “Oh! Adam and I saw this at the mall and bought it for you.” Sophia picks up the bags and we walk to the living room and sit on the couch. She takes out baby books and a massager. I look at everything she’s giving me and can’t help but feel overwhelmed with the support and love from my best friend.

  “Soph, these are so sweet!” I give her a hug and start crying. Sophia hugs me back and cries, too. “I hate my fucking emotions!”

  “I know. Me, too!”

  The more I think about how my life is changing, the better I feel. Connor isn’t traveling
for work anymore, but the hours can be crazy. I still miss him when he’s not around, but I love how much he supports us and our future. I hear him come in with Adam. They’re laughing and drinking beer. The guys come in the living room, and they are eyeing Sophia and me, as we dry our tears and get up from the floor.

  Adam kisses Sophia on the cheek and puts his arm around her. “Crying again?”

  “Stop! It’s not my fault. My hormones are everywhere, Adam! You try being pregnant.”

  “Thank God I’m not.” Sophia punches him in the stomach. “Ooof, thanks, pretty girl.”

  “That’s what you get!” Sophia looks at her watch and then at me. “Can we go out to dinner? I’m so hungry!”

  I look at Connor, waiting for him to respond. I’m actually getting hungry, too. “Alright, let’s go to Giovennti’s.”

  Dinner goes by well. It’s nice to see Sophia and Adam and spend time with them. Connor and Adam talk about Optimax while Sophia and I talk about what’s going on with our lives. His hand never leaves my thigh, and I love how his touch makes me feel safe and warm. I look over at him and see something familiar in his eyes. I know he wants me, and I want him so bad. I slowly lick my lips, seducing him with my expressions. He closes his eyes and squeezes my thigh. I feel the moisture between my legs but look away from him and continue my conversation with Sophia.

  “You’re lucky we aren’t at home right now, my sweet Erin,” he leans in, whispering in my ear.

  I turn my head toward him and bite his lower lip. “Game on, sir.” I smile and turn back to Sophia. She looks at us with awe as we finish our dinner.

  After a few hours eating and talking, we all decide to call it a night and head home. We say good night to Sophia and Adam, and I tell Sophia to text me tomorrow so we can get shopping done. The car pulls up and Connor opens the door for me. He gets in a few moments later and starts the drive back home. It’s quiet in the car, but the sexual tension is in the air. I look down and see a bulge in his jeans. My hand slides up and down his thigh.

  Connor closes his eyes and his breathing quickens. I love teasing him this way, having him wrapped around my fingers. “Connor,” I whisper, moving my hand to the bulge in his jeans. “What’s wrong, babe?”