One Eighty (Westover Prep Book 1)

by James, Marie

  She knows the answer, so I don’t bother to speak it out loud.

  “You need to go see her.” Peyton sighs when I continue to ignore her. “She’s been blowing up my phone checking on you.”

  Now I raise my eyes to hers. “What did you tell her?”

  “I told her that you have exiled yourself to this room, and you’re heartbroken and that she needs to get better so she can come over here and slap you until you snap out of it.”

  “Pey—”

  She holds her hand up. “I didn’t tell her anything. You aren’t responding to her calls and texts, so I haven’t either.”

  “What?” My brow furrows. “You shouldn’t ignore her.”

  She shrugs. “You shouldn’t either. When you respond, I’ll respond.”

  “She needs someone right now,” I remind her. “Frankie is still in Utah. She doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.”

  I hurt even more knowing that my sister has been ignoring her as well.

  “She needs you,” Peyton specifies. “So, you need to call her. I’m dying to tell her how easy the test was the other day.”

  “I’m the last thing Piper needs,” I mutter, my eyes drifting back to the open journal on my bed. “Did you know that I told the entire school that I caught her making out with a pillow?”

  Peyton smiles. “Big deal. I’ve made out with my pillow before.”

  My nose scrunches. “I didn’t need to know that, but what if everyone at school found out?”

  Her eyes widen. “I’d kill you.”

  “See? It’s not that it happened, which I don’t think it even did because she doesn’t mention that in her journal, just the aftermath of me telling people that it did. It was in seventh grade, and that’s the first night she—”

  I snap my jaw shut. I’m ashamed of what I caused Piper to do, but that secret is hers to tell or keep, not mine.

  “The first time she cut herself?” Peyton whispers.

  I swallow to try to dislodge the lump in my throat, but I don’t think a semi-truck could move it at this point.

  “Yeah. You knew about that?”

  “I saw them after we swam in the pool. She didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “Now you understand why I haven’t answered.”

  Without warning, Peyton raises her hand and slaps me in the back of the head. “You’re so fucking stupid! She has forgiven you, and if she hasn’t, she was getting really close to it.”

  “She should hate me.”

  “And she did for a long time, but she doesn’t now. A girl that hates you wouldn’t have been up here naked in your room.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Unless you stripped her against her will.”

  I roll my eyes at her, still rubbing the back of my head where she smacked me. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Then you need to call her. You’re torturing yourself over what you’ve done, but it’s only hurting her more for you to ignore her.”

  “It’s what’s best.”

  “Did you explain that to her?”

  “Sort of,” I mumble.

  “What the hell does sort of even mean? You either had the conversation with her, or you didn’t.”

  “She was still out when I did it.”

  Like an asshole, she rears back and hits me again.

  “She probably thinks you’re playing some sort of prank on her or that the last couple of weeks you’ve spent going after her was just part of some big joke.”

  I shake my head. “It hasn’t been. I lo—”

  “You love her. Yes, I know that, but does she?”

  “I can’t tell her now!” I roar as I stand up from the bed and point an accusing finger down at the journals. “Look at what I’ve done to her! My love is tainted. The way I acted has ruined any chance for us.”

  “Yet she was here, in your room with you, by choice. What does that tell you?”

  My hands fist my hair, but I ignore the pain in my scalp when I pull. It pales in comparison to the agony in my chest.

  “I’m no good for her.” A sob escapes my throat.

  “Yet, you’re exactly who she wants.” Peyton crosses the room but stops short of touching me. I’m sure she can tell just how crazed I am right now. “The least you have to do is explain to her why you can’t be with her. Say it to her face instead of whispering it like a coward while she’s knocked out. Not doing so is only hurting her more, and by the way you’re acting right now, you have enough guilt from the pain you caused her.”

  She walks out of the room, closing the door behind her, and once again I’m left alone with only my remorse and regret to keep me company.

  Chapter 38

  Piper

  “So, you’re brain-damaged?”

  I huff a laugh at Frankie. “Something like that.”

  “When did they cut you loose?”

  “I got home late yesterday evening.”

  It’s now ten in the morning, and I once again woke my sleeping best friend.

  “How are things there?”

  “Nope,” she snaps. “We’re not talking about me. I want to talk about you.”

  There’s a hint of a secret in there somewhere, but I called because I wanted to tell her what was going on and get her advice.

  “I really like him,” I confess.

  “Dalton Payne?”

  I chuckle at the confused tone in her voice. “Yes, Dalton Payne.”

  “He’s very good-looking,” she muses, and if she were here, I bet she’d have a wide smile on her face. “But he tormented you for forever. Are you really going to just forget about all of that?”

  “I won’t ever forget.” There isn’t a chance of that, but I don’t think holding it against him for the rest of our lives is the right thing to do either. “He’s different.”

  “So you’ve said, but you’ve not given me much proof that it’s true. How is he different? He’s not treating you poorly, but that’s common decency. Have you fallen in love with the boy because he hasn’t made people laugh at you recently? Please, Piper, don’t be that girl.”

  “I’m not that girl,” I mutter. “He looks at me like I’m the beginning and end of his day. Just the way he caresses my face—”

  “Caresses your face? What have I missed?” Frankie interrupts.

  “We’re together,” I whisper.

  I don’t know why I lower my voice. My parents have left for work, my dad warning me against going to see Dalton.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. It sounds like you said you and Dalton Payne were together.”

  “I did,” I tell her with a stronger voice. “At least I thought we were.”

  “You’re confused about it? If you were together, you’d know. Oh, Piper.” I’m getting really sick of hearing my name said that way. “If you’re not sure it’s because he’s messing with you. Please, don’t fall for this. It feels like Vaughn all over again.”

  “You’re the one who pushed me to talk to Vaughn,” I remind her. “This isn’t like that. He’s probably embarrassed because he had to carry me into the ER with nothing but panties and a robe on.”

  I slide that information in there, hoping she’ll ignore it and we can—

  “In nothing but panties and a robe!” she shrieks. “You need to start at the beginning and tell me everything. Only giving me half of the info isn’t okay. If you want me to help you with this—and I know you called for that very reason—I need to know everything, so spill.”

  I do just that. I start with the kiss in his backyard, and I tell her about the snow cone stand, and all of the making out. I even confess to what happened in the car at the park, and we spend way too much valuable time discussing that at length before she lets me continue, all the way up until I woke up in the hospital for the second time, and he wasn’t there.

  I cry when I tell her how many times I’ve called and texted, only to be ignored. I even explain that Peyton isn’t answering her phone, and even though I can tell it agitates her, Frankie do
esn’t say anything about being temporarily replaced by the younger Payne.

  “How did he react when he saw the cuts?”

  “He was zoned out, like I was the ugliest thing on the planet. He was disgusted by the sight of them.”

  And then it hits me like an explosive strapped to my heart.

  “That’s why he isn’t calling or answering texts, Frankie. He finds me disgusting.”

  Silence fills the line between us for a long minute.

  “Crap,” she mutters. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this.”

  “Just say it,” I demand with a sigh. “It’s not like things could get any worse.”

  Tears have been falling down my cheeks for the last half hour, and I’ve stopped brushing them away.

  “He doesn’t hate you.” She makes a rude noise when I try to interrupt. “You’ve just spent the last half hour telling me what’s going on. It’s my turn to talk.”

  “Fine,” I grumble.

  “He doesn’t hate you,” she repeats. “From the sound of it, he hates himself right now. He hates what he caused you to do. Now I’m not saying I trust the man fully, but if I take a step back and only use the information you just gave me, not taking into account the crap I know he’s pulled in the past, I’d say he’s been genuine this summer. His reaction to your scars is about him, and when we get through all of this, we’re going to sit down and talk about that. I can’t believe you kept something like that from me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

  “I’m sorry you were hurting more than I ever knew. I would’ve killed him long ago had I known you were doing that crap.”

  “I hid it from everyone, and he wasn’t even supposed to see that day. I didn’t think he’d pull the covers back that far.”

  “Well, from what I know about teenage boys, they want to see the entire package.”

  “What?” I chuckle. “What do you know about teenage boys?”

  She makes a weird noise in the back of her throat but doesn’t answer my question. “And we’ll go back to that once this issue is settled as well.”

  She remains silent, and all it does is double my suspicions about what my dear friend has been doing while on her grandmother’s farm this summer.

  “What should I do?”

  “Go talk to him,” she answers without pause.

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is that simple, Piper. Go talk to the boy that went from monster to lover.”

  “He’s ignoring me.”

  “And that is easy to do on the phone, but not when you’re right in his face.”

  “And what if he tells me to leave and that he hates me?”

  “I don’t think that’s going to happen, but if it does, then you’ll finally know, and we can work on ruining his life senior year.”

  I grin, knowing she’s full of it. We’re not mean people, and we’re already at the bottom of the social hierarchy at Westover Prep, and since this isn’t some stupid romantic drama that would never work out in our favor.

  “And say what?”

  “Tell him that you love him.”

  “I don—”

  “Un-uh,” she huffs. “Don’t start lying now. Be honest with yourself and be honest with him.”

  “I’m shaking,” I confess.

  “What are you afraid of?” Softness fills her tone while I take a second to actually ask myself that very question.

  “Everything,” I tell her. “I’m scared he’ll ask me to leave. Afraid he’s going to tell me none of it was real. Terrified that I’ve given him my heart and he’s just going to walk all over it like he’s done to me for as long as I can remember.”

  “And you may go over there, and he’ll wrap his arms around you and tell you what you overheard when he was talking to his sister. You won’t know until you speak with him. Not knowing is going to tear you up more than anything else. You know that as much as I do.”

  “You’re right.”

  She laughs. “Piper, we’ve been friends for how long? You know I’m always right. Now go over and talk to your boy toy. Keep in mind that a warm bath will help your bits if you get too sore.”

  “Too sore?” My eyes widen when I realize what she’s talking about. “Oh, God!”

  She laughs, and for the first time since I woke up in the hospital, I feel a little of the weight lift off my chest.

  “Just go talk to him.”

  “Simple,” Frankie assures me.

  “When do you get home? I miss you like crazy.”

  “Still another two weeks,” she says with a sigh. “I’m ready to be there now.”

  “Okay, then tell me about Zeke.” She doesn’t say anything, and I have to pull the phone from my ear to make sure the call didn’t drop.

  “I’m not talking about him. The boy drives me crazy. He wants to pretend like he’s a man, but then when he’s…” she draws in a long breath. “Go talk to Dalton, Piper. Call me later this evening and let me know how it went.”

  “Maybe sooner than that,” I grumble.

  If he tells me to kick bricks, I may be sobbing on another phone call with her here shortly.

  “It’s all going to work out,” she assures me. “Trust me. I have a gut feeling about this. He didn’t shun you in front of the people at the snow cone stand, and he’s probably over there wallowing in his misery and kicking himself for all of the horrific things he’s done. And let me just say that you need to make that boy work for you, more than you have already.”

  “Kind of hard to make that happen when I’m going over there to beg him to not break up with me.”

  “Stop,” she snaps. “That’s not what’s going to happen. You’re going to go over there and remind him why you were worth fighting for to begin with. So, go brush your teeth and hair and make up with your boyfriend.”

  Chapter 39

  Dalton

  I know Piper got home yesterday. By dinnertime, both of her parents’ cars were in the drive. When she was in the hospital, one or both of them were gone at all times.

  My skin has been prickly and itching just knowing she’s so close, but I’ve managed to maintain my resolve.

  The conversation with Peyton yesterday plays over and over in my head, but I know it’s just my selfishness trying to convince me that I can have her. Keeping a girl like Piper Schofield is impossible, especially for me, no matter how much my brain tries to convince me otherwise.

  I want her. I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting the girl next door, but after the things I’ve done to her, the extremes I pushed her to, there’s no turning back from that.

  She hasn’t forgiven me. How could she? I’ve done nothing but turn her life upside down for years. I’m a fool to think that a month of being different is enough to change me. Although I pray I never get my memories back, I’m just as terrified as she is that if they do come back, I’ll be the same unrepentant asshole that I was before. I don’t know how that would be possible with how much I love her, but it’s one of my biggest concerns.

  “Are you going to just sit there all day?”

  I don’t bother to turn my head to look at my sister. Peyton hasn’t complained too much that I’ve taken up residence in her room, looking out her window with the hopes of seeing Piper. It’s another way I’ve been torturing myself. I’m strong enough to stay away from her, but not seeing her at all is killing me. It’s another form of punishment and torture I’ve been doling out to myself in tiny doses.

  “She’s home, you know.”

  I still don’t respond.

  “I bet she’d love to see you. She’s still been texting and calling my phone. I wish you’d get your crap together because I miss my friend.”

  “And I told you to stop ignoring her.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” Peyton’s tone makes me pull my eyes from the coral colored curtains twenty feet away and look at her. “Maybe I should invite her over so we can catch up.”

  “You’d really do that to me
?”

  She frowns. “I miss her. Are you asking me to stop being friends with her because you’re playing the martyr and punishing both of you?”

  “No.” Even as I say the word, I know it’s mostly a lie.

  I don’t want Piper here because it would be impossible to stay away from her. My resolve only goes so far, and keeping distance between the two of us is the only way I can keep my hands off her.

  “You love her.” Her tone softens as sadness fills her eyes. “I don’t understand any of this at all.”

  “It’s not meant for you to understand,” I croak, my eyes drifting back to Piper’s house.

  “You’re not going to catch a glimpse of her over there.”

  I begin to ignore her. I’ve found that if I don’t engage with her, she’ll walk away and leave me to my own racing thoughts and wishes for things to be different.

  “You won’t see her,” she says again, “because she’s waiting for you in your room.”

  My heart gallops, pounding against my rib cage as adrenaline fills my blood. My eyes are focused on her house, but I don’t see a single thing. My blood heats, demanding my legs to move, to go seek her out, but I’m frozen, stuck in this position while my head wars over what to do next.

  “Did you hear me?” Peyton snaps. “Go talk to her. If you can’t be with her for whatever stupid reasons you’ve conjured in your head, then she deserves for you to say those things to her face. Ghosting her is being a jerk, and you’ve said over and over that you’re no longer a jerk.”

  “What do I say?”

  Peyton huffs, her arms taking up residence across her chest. She’s annoyed with me. That much is clear, but I need help. I need guidance. I need someone who can support my decision to let Piper go. I know I’m not going to get those things from my sister.

  “You tell her the truth. All of it. Not just the stuff to push her away. You lay it all out, and then you listen to her, and you take her truths and then decide if they change what you said. It can’t be one-sided.”

  “Talk to her.” I say the words out loud, testing them for merit.