Devastated

by MIA HEINTZELMAN

  I wasn’t going to tell him I was falling, too. I was going to tell him how hurt I was, but then his mouth set in a smooth line and he turned his eyes away. The road unraveled into a straightaway in front of us and the moment was lost. We didn’t speak again for the rest of the drive.

  All I could think about was that Xander Gale was falling for me, not the fact that my life was officially over. There was no coming out of this unscathed. If Dad saw the video, or the admissions office at CSU, my future would be shut down. By the same token, if Marshall got what he wanted from me… I didn’t know what it would do to me, to who I was. I couldn’t guarantee I’d be the same person on the other side.

  Would I end up like Mom or Emily?

  My body felt heavy, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. After Mom died, I kept myself going by being strong for Dad. Now he was off on his tour and probably not even thinking about me. I didn’t have anyone to keep going for. It was the first time I understood Mom and what she was likely going through a little better. It just seemed so much easier for everyone to take me out of the equation.

  I want to die.

  As the car came to a stop, my eyes snapped up to the windshield.

  Gale Manor.

  “We can spend the rest of the day here. We’ll figure out the rest later.” Xander said as I flashed him a small smile.

  Later.

  Even if I was devastated, at least there was still today.

  Chapter Fourteen

  XANDER

  I got out of the car before Izabelle and rounded the hood to open her door. As she stepped out, I plastered on a smile for her sake, but I was low, my heart somewhere in my stomach. A stab of resentment flared in my gut.

  How could she fucking believe I had anything to do with Marshall’s video?

  This whole thing sent me spinning into a full-fledged panic, and I knew anything I said would ring hollow, so I reined it in for Izabelle’s sake.

  “Listen,” I squared her shoulders to me and tipped her chin up with my finger. “I need you to know I had nothing to do with the video.” I stared into her warm brown eyes, begging her to believe me. I knew wounded indignation laced my tone. I didn’t mean to blurt it out, but every word I said in the car was the truth.

  She blinked back her tears. “How can I know that, huh? How can I trust you, since I know everything I’ve been warned about The Crows is true?”

  “I’m going to protect…” I trailed off as the grainy image of the video flashed across my mind, a blaring reminder of how I’d already failed to protect her once. I stroked her arms. “I’ve got some ideas for what to do, but for now, it’s Sunday, so let’s just enjoy the rest of this weekend.”

  “Okay.”

  Her voice was so tiny. I drew her into a kiss, letting my tongue slip into her hot, wet mouth. I pulled her bottom lip between my teeth and sucked before seeking and finding her tongue again, dipping my fingers into the waistband of her black leggings. I could’ve fucked her right there in the driveway, but then I heard the faint squeak of the front door opening.

  “I’m so glad you could make it, Izabelle.”

  My jaw tightened under the grinding of my teeth as I turned and glared at my father.

  “Xander, I wasn’t expecting to see you this weekend.”

  “What are you talking about, you’re glad she could make it, Dad? She isn’t here to see you.” I jerked my eyes away to meet Izabelle’s sheepish gaze. “What is he is talking about? I thought I told you to stay away from my father.” The last few words came out low and hushed as I bore into her.

  She bit her bottom lip. “He, uh, texted and invited me over for dinner with him and your mom to celebrate my first week. It was Wednesday, before I talked to you in the stables. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” My voice thundered and I hated the bitterness in my tone. I inhaled a cleansing breath before speaking again. “You cannot trust everyone you meet—”

  “But, it’s your dad. I didn’t know it would be a thing.”

  “Well, it is.”

  I twined our fingers together and turned on my heel to lead her to the front door, where my father stood waiting for us. He looked just as pissed to see me as I was him. It was obvious I’d foiled his little plan to get Izabelle alone, but we both knew this wasn’t going to be his only attempt.

  “We’ll be in my room if you need me,” I said, brushing my shoulder against his as we passed. “We won’t be staying for dinner. I’m sure you and Mom will be fine without us.”

  When we made it upstairs to my room, my blood was boiling, and I knew what I needed to do. My fucking father was a hunter. Once his sights were on his target, he wasn’t going to give up unless someone else got to his prey before him. His invitation to Izabelle was proof of his plan—the game to lure in an innocent and sacrifice her to his fetish, but I couldn’t let it happen.

  I closed and locked the door behind Izabelle.

  She was just standing in the middle of the room, gawking open-mouthed at the vast space, and the perfectly curated, muted navy blues and grays with sturdy, industrial metals and wood.

  “Lie down on the bed,” I commanded, tugging the sleeves of my jacket and letting it fall to the floor where I stood.

  Izabelle looked both shocked and turned on at the same time. “What, here?” She waggled her brows. “But your parents are downstairs…”

  “I know.”

  She studied my face, apparently in disbelief. “They’ll hear,” she reasoned.

  “I want them to.” Tension hardened my neck, shoulders, and arms. My jaw clenched and I could feel my expression pinch with annoyance. My tone was unmistakably sharp when I spoke again. It thundered with a don’t-make-me-say-it-twice emphasis as I enunciated each word. “That’s. The. Point.”

  A flush crept across her cheeks, but she obeyed, sitting on the edge of the bed and scooting backwards until she was in the center.

  “You’re learning, but you need to be taught a lesson. I’m going to fuck you right now. Hard and fast. The floorboards will creak, the headboard will bang against the wall, and you’ll scream out with pleasure. I want my father to hear all of it.”

  Questions welled in Izabelle’s eyes, but it wasn’t the time to explain, so I let her sit there, leaving all of them unanswered while her chin trembled, and she curled her hands around her middle.

  “Can I just ask why you want them to hear? Do you want them to think I’m some kind of whore—some slut with no shame or morals you brought home for a fast fuck? Is it about Marshall’s video…?” Her voice trailed off, weak, her breathing rushed, and her chest caving.

  “I’m just being the animal you already think I am.”

  It was fucked-up thing to say, but I had to.

  She swallowed and lay back, stiff and fragile-looking. A complete contrast to the sexy curves of her body and her wild curls over the ripples of my down comforter. This was as much to get my point across to her as it was to let my father hear me living out his perverted fantasies. Izabelle wasn’t a virgin when I met her, but I’d definitely taken her innocence.

  Her chest rose and fell quickly, and my cock tightened as heat revved through me.

  “Take off your clothes.” I unfastened my pants and tugged them down around my hips, freeing my full length, stroking it while she watched me with worried brown eyes. With my left hand I pulled my shirt over my head, then surveyed her as she toed off her shoes and removed her leggings.

  It turned me on to see the way her eyes darted, following my every move. There was a growing hunger in her eyes which wasn’t there before. An all-consuming spark glowed in them as she drank in the sight of my cock, then up the tapestry of my tattoos, climbing the dunes of my chest. But, when she locked her gaze on mine, the spark grew into a blazing wildfire as she lifted herself up on her elbows and let her knees hang slightly open.

  Hard and ready, I walked up to the edge of the bed. “I want to hear every breath and mo
an. I can’t explain now, but I’m saving you.”

  She closed her eyes and took a breath, and when she opened them again, the questions were back. Who are you saving me from? at the top of the list. In this moment, in light of what I was doing to her, it made it even harder to answer. I hated how it made me feel like the monster I was supposedly protecting her from.

  Rather than go down the rabbit hole, I continued stroking myself as I lifted her shirt up around her neck. The swell of her breasts teased me. I leaned down to drag my tongue over each of her pebbled brown nipples, sucking and licking slowly. She muffled a moan, squirming, trembling beneath my lips.

  “Let me hear you.”

  All I got was a nod as Izabelle pulled me flush against her pliant body, pressing her hips up against me. Damn, it was so hard not to bury myself inside her right then and there, but I needed to take the time to do this right if I was going to keep dear old Daddy away from her. I wiggled free from her grasp and continued trailing my tongue down to her flat stomach. I circled her shallow navel, then moved lower until I took the hem of her thin cotton panties between my teeth, tugging down, then licking the warm grooves where the elastic laid.

  She arched her back, ruffling her fingers through my hair. Then, an agonized moan slipped from her. “Oh, Xander,” she whispered. Her voice was breathy and strained with the same coarse little quiver she made when my fingers were inside her for the first time.

  “Louder. I need him to know.”

  “I want you,” she croaked.

  I halfway expected my cock to tighten when I heard her response, but it was my heart. It squeezed under the grip of her confession. Izabelle wanted me, craved me as much as I did her. The thought crept under my skin and settled there, igniting me from the inside out. More than a random fuck, it left me with a hunger only she could satisfy.

  Suddenly, I needed to feel her, smell her, and taste her sweetness.

  Without another word, I slid her panties off and let my tongue graze the soft flesh, the bundle of nerves at the meeting of her thighs. She was clean-shaven and smooth all over. With my fingers, I pried her open, licking and sucking while she writhed, the tension in her legs hard against my arms.

  As I quickened my pace, going faster and deeper, I heard the hitch in her voice, and then she released a sharp cry.

  “Fuck, yes!” I croaked.

  Izabelle bit down hard on her bottom lip, tilting her head back so that her chin was in the air, her throat bared. The delicate column of her neck on display with her breasts peaked to the sky. At her sides, she dug her fingers into the duvet, holding on tight as her back arched and her body trembled.

  “Say it,” I commanded.

  “Fuck me,” she yelled, her wild voice echoing off the walls. “Your mouth feels so fucking great. Xander, I need you inside me. Now.”

  Only when a rush of tremors washed over her did I get to my feet. Seeing her come undone, her golden-brown skin drenched in lamplight, it was hot as hell. A wave of desire surged through me, and I could feel my pulse hammer in my neck. I couldn’t resist. I rolled on a condom. My hands steady on her knees, I plunged my cock into her, feeling her wet, hot pussy clench around the thickness. Another wave of shivers as she bucked, riding the orgasm. With it, the headboard banged against the wall and the floorboards creaked as she released another sharp cry.

  She felt too good.

  I was almost there when I noticed the slow, sexy grin on her distracting mouth. She was ready for another go. I knew if I stayed inside her, I wouldn’t be able to hold it much longer, so I pulled out.

  “I want to fuck your mouth.” I released a low growl.

  What I thought would wipe the smile off her face seemed to only widen it. Izabelle didn’t hesitate, she sat upright, removed the condom, and glided her lips down the full length of my cock, her slippery, hot mouth sucking and licking. I didn’t dare watch her or I’d come, so I dug my fingers into her hair and held her head steady while I pumped myself in and out of her mouth.

  “Holy shit.” My lungs struggled to keep up with my racing heart. I was boneless and breathless, coming apart as she took me wider and deeper into that filthy mouth of hers. “I’m coming.”

  I tried to pull out, but she grabbed my ass and tightened her grip, drinking me in.

  “Oh, my God. I fucking love you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  IZZY

  When we hit the bottom of the stairs, Mr. and Mrs. Gale were waiting for us in the parlor doorway.

  To say I was mortified would be a gross understatement. I couldn’t look at them. I couldn’t look at Xander.

  Did I like fucking him? Yes. It didn’t get better than hate-fucking him so hard. But, did I need his parents tuned in to the surround sound audio? No. A million times no. I only did it for him because I knew deep in my bones that my original suspicion about something awful going on between Xander and is father was basically confirmed.

  “Mom.” He kissed Evelyn on the cheek, then turned to Mr. Gale. Xander’s jawline was hard, distinctive. His stance was noticeably wider, and his chest thrust out. And his tone was rigid. “Father.”

  Mr. Gale turned his body at an angle instead of facing his son head-on. His eyes were cold, and his mouth pinched. He stiffened. “Xander.”

  It was the first time I was truly scared. I sensed the challenge between them—Xander’s defiance. In that very moment, I realized who I was performing for and why, and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  “Thank you for inviting me over. Have a great night,” I said to his parents without meeting their fixed gazes and rushed out the door.

  I was already waiting at the car before Xander made it to the entry. When I looked up, though, the two guys were whispering, but their closed postures and sweeping, sharp gestures made it clear they were arguing. Xander pointed the key fob toward me and pressed the button to unlock the car before turning back to Mr. Gale.

  The silent show went on for a few minutes more before Xander stalked away and we sped off. I waited until we rounded the curve into the straightaway before I spoke.

  “What would he have done to me?”

  He didn’t turn to look at me, but I saw his grip tighten around the steering wheel.

  “They’re all the same. My father, Marshall, Jorden…”

  You.

  He glanced over as if he could hear my thoughts. “I don’t want to be like them.”

  “Then don’t be. Don’t hurt me. Be with me,” I said.

  My heart sank, and I hated it, because I shouldn’t have had to beg someone to make that kind of a choice. If it wasn’t obvious, what was I doing with him?

  What am I doing?

  Xander might not have wanted to be like them, but he’d surrounded himself with predators, and it was naive of me to believe he wasn’t already cut from the same cloth.

  “Xander,” I shifted in the seat to face him for the second time in two days. It was time to pry, to find out how much danger I was really in. “What would your father have done to me? Why is he anything like Marshall or Jorden?”

  He didn’t look at me, but I could almost feel him relenting, the weight of the truth lifting as he unloaded.

  “A year ago, Dad left some important papers at home, and Mom asked me to run after him. So I followed him. Only he didn’t go to his office. I found him at a seedy-looking motel.” He swallowed, and the vein at his temple bulged. “I waited out there for about half an hour before a girl showed up and knocked on his door. She couldn’t have been more than fourteen, fifteen, because she was a freshman at Badlands.”

  “What happened?”

  “They were in there for over an hour. He came out first and sped off in his car, but I waited. I had to see her. Fifteen minutes later, she walked out, and I’ll never forget the look on her face. She was flushed, and her eyes were red-rimmed, like she’d cried the whole time. The way she was holding her arms over her middle and her body sagged, I knew something had happened, but I didn’t want to believe
my dad was capable of the things I was imagining. He was my father, the man who I’d looked up to my whole life, and I’d modeled myself in his image. The man who wouldn’t allow profanity in his house and fished or played golf with me on weekends. I couldn’t make the lines meet.”

  I pushed my hair out of my face and leaned back against the window while he blinked back tears.

  “Go on.”

  “Anyway, I skipped class and had my friend drop me off at home. Mom is always hopped up on pills and numb to everything, so she didn’t even know I was there. I rifled through all his books and papers, and I was just about to give up, tell myself there was a logical reason for what I’d seen. He was on the school board, so maybe the girl was pleading with him for leniency on something, I didn’t know. But then the bottom drawer to his desk got stuck when I was pushing it back in.

  “There was a false bottom filled with NDAs, voided checks, and pictures attached. All young girls. The oldest one was sixteen. The worst part was, there were medical records for every one of them, stating the hymen was intact. Fucking virginity tests probably from some asshole doctor friend of his.”

  “So he thought I was a virgin?”

  “Yes.” His voice thundered as he released a wicked laugh. “What did you think, he was just a regular pedophile? No, not my father. He wouldn’t dare to be run-of-the-mill. The fucking monster loves the hunt. He scouts all over campus. The second you and your father showed up, I knew he’d targeted you. That’s why I did what I did in the hallway—why I needed him to hear you today. I had to throw him off your scent.”

  What the fuck?

  Was I supposed to say thanks? Oh, yes. Thank you so much for proving I was stupid and naive to believe you’re actually into me. I turned to the window and stared out.

  There was nothing left to say.

  A little more than a half hour later, he dropped me off a few blocks from my dorm in case The Crows or The Ravens were watching, not that they didn’t already know we were together after we ran into Jorden and Nic in the hotel. I took the long way up, keeping to the darkest halls and stairs to avoid any run-ins. The whole way, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.