by Tara Sue Me
Sasha stifled a yawn. Interesting, but not what she was looking for. She flipped forward a few pages.
As expected, Cole proved to be a quick learner. For our third meeting, I brought in a submissive I’ve worked with frequently. She has a sassy streak in her, so I don’t always use her for a Dom’s first scene, but I thought she’d match up well with Cole.
“Mr Johnson,” I addressed Cole. We were at the club I used for mentoring Doms. The owner and I had agreement since I would only be in the UK for ten months. He would set me up with my personal and play rooms and in exchange I agreed to work with the professional submissive he had on staff. It was a win win for both of us and had been working out well.
The room was small, but it was mine and I could leave and store anything I wanted without fear of it walking away. I had staged the area simply today. We were doing a spanking scene, so there wasn’t much needed.
“Herr Brose,” Cole addressed me.
“This is Neysa.” I pointed to the young woman kneeling at our feet. Her head was bowed and her hair pulled into a long black braid.
Cole moved to stand before her. “Hello, Neysa. You may stand.”
Neysa stood to her feet and looked at Cole. “Hello, Sir.”
Cole looked her up and down, unashamed in his interest and not hiding his appreciation of her form. “I am aware Herr Brose went over our plans for today, but before we start, I wanted to know if you had questions?”
“No, Sir.”
I moved to stand on the side of the room, out of the way, but still in his business. I would continue to do so until he had proven to us both that I could stand further back.
Neysa? Could she be the woman with red stationary? Sasha dropped her head and kept reading.
It was always eye opening for me to watch a Dom in training interact with a submissive for the first time. Some displayed an easy confidence with the one who gave him her body and mind for their time together. Others were over confident and a few seemed to be downright fearful. Cole leaned more toward the easy confidence but I could see a healthy dose of unease in the unknown as well.
I liked that about Cole. There was nothing I enjoyed less than a know-it-all newbie and frankly, I thought having unease with the unknown was a wise thing. He spoke with a calm tone, but one that left no room for arguing. That was another plus in his column. Tone of voice could carry a lot of weight. Words were important, however, I’d always thought when paired together, the two created a command few submissive could ignore.
He spanked Neysa with his hand. I’d told him at our previous meeting he could use one of my wooden paddles if he wanted, but he’d declined and said he wouldn’t use anything he hadn’t experienced first.
“Oh?” I crossed my arms at that. “Does that mean you will take a cock up your ass?”
My question didn’t seem bother him the way I thought it might. Looking me straight in the eyes, he replied, “What makes you think I haven’t already?”
His answer was absolutely perfect and I couldn’t stop a tiny smile as I tried to decide if he was speaking the truth. I didn’t push him. Whether or not he had, he had made his point.
He needed little instruction during the scene, only a few pointers on things such as positioning and such. Neysa seemed delightedly stated, after, which was something that could not be said of every new Dom I’d paired her with. We didn’t talk in front of Cole. She knew from experience I would call her the next day. She also knew if she noticed any red flags I expected her to tell me before she turned in for the night.
If Cole continues in this way, I can see him becoming an excellent Dom.
“You liked him, did you, Neysa?” Sashed gave a hmmp and flipped ahead further than before.
Conversation with Cole about the relationship he wants
At the end of our meeting last week and the beginning of his third month of mentorship, I asked Cole to write his thoughts down on what type of relationship and dynamic he thought he’d be the most interested in. I knew he was a journalist, so I expected his reply to be well thought out and coherent, but have to admit, I was unprepared for what he sent me.
Cole stated he wanted to be in a 24/7 relationship. Typically, when I hear that coming from a Dominant so early in his walk, it raises red flags. However, I’ve already mentioned several times how impressed I am with Cole and his approach to the lifestyle, so I didn’t expect him to want a power trip when he made that statement. I was right.
The first thing he did was to summarize the different potential relationships. The casual, the committed, the occasional partner, and 24 seven. His wrote on each of them and then he made his point for the 24/7. He sees a Master as a person who has given their promise to a submissive to protect and guide and teach. He said he didn’t see how it could be possible if you have off times. I somewhat see his point, but the submissive's thoughts concern me more. We spoke about it for a while during his next session.
Wow, he knew early he wanted twenty-four/seven? She wasn’t sure why that surprised her, but she kept reading the entry instead of searching for more N names.
“You have to understand,” I told him. “It is not all that common for someone new in the lifestyle to look forward to a 24 seven relationship like that.”
“I can see that.” He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but he was silent for a while gazing off into space. Finally he spoke, “I think…” I could tell he was searching for words. “I think if everything is there. And if everything is right. The couple is right. The connection is right. The chemistry is right. They both want the same things. I don’t see why they would want that to end. Even if just for a short time.”
“You understand my concern though, about the submissive?”
“That if she’s in the mind frame all the time, it might be difficult for her to be herself? Or the concern might be that she might lose her self?”
“Yes, both.”
“It would take a good Master to understand and to ensure she didn’t do that. She would have to make sure her needs and wants are known. And her Master would have to ensure he allowed her, not only the way to make them known, but to listen when she brings them up. Because she even though she’s a submissive, her needs aren't any less important in the relationship than the Doms are.”
I smiled. “And that, Cole Johnson, is why you will make a good Master one day. You understand that it’s a give-and-take and has be 50/50. Our lifestyle is a delicate balance. It’s okay if those percentages change during a scene. In fact they should, but the overall percentage has to be 50-50. Otherwise all you have is one person taking advantage of the other person. And yes it’s possible for a submissive to take advantage of a Dom.”
“I don’t think I’ll start my first leadership as a 24/7, though.”
“Agreed. That’s the wise thing to do.”
“Now, I’m not saying that if it turns out well, we might not eventually go 24/7.” He spoke, had a small smirk on his face. He carried just enough of that playfulness I knew a lot of submissives would like. “I think we’ll start out more Dominant and submissive and drifting into a Master and slave relationship.”
I crossed my arms and nodded. “I can’t imagine it in any other way.”
Sasha looked up and glanced at the clock. She wanted to keep reading, but if she didn’t want Cole to be suspicious, she needed to do something tangible. With a sigh she put the journal back where she’d found it.
Fuck.
She hoped that was the shelf it’d been on.
10
He was meeting his editor today at ten thirty. That’s what Cole told her over dinner last night. She’d called earlier in the afternoon and asked him to come into the city. Sasha asked if he wanted her to come with him. Often when he went in for meetings, she’d travel with him and they’d shop for a bit and eat lunch or dinner. Once he got them tickets to a play.
“Not this time,” he’d said in answer to her question. “I’m not sure how long this meeting will run a
nd I’m afraid I may not be the best company after.”
She’d nodded, disappointed until she realized she could read the journal again.
As soon as he left, she forced herself to wait ten minutes before stepping into his office. Not that it mattered and waiting was stupid, but she rationalized it by saying it showed self discipline.
She found the place she stopped at the day before and skipped forward a few pages.
Though he’s no longer considered a mentee, Cole and I have remained friends. As his friend, I have to admit that I’m worried about his relationship with Neysa. She’s gotten clingy.
I had dinner with them last week and Cole mentioned he should hear back soon about the job he interviewed for in the States. Nesya looked at him like he’d just sprouted horns and a tail.
“You’re serious about that job, aren’t you?” She asked.
He sighed as if they’d had this conversation ten times today already. “Have I ever given you the impression I’m not?”
She stared at him for a long minute. Waiting for him to say he’s joking, or that of course he’d be staying in the UK. When he didn’t, she jumped up and ran out of the room. I glanced back at Cole, but he calmly resumed eating as if nothing happened.
Sasha turned the page. It was blank. So was the next one. That couldn’t be where it ended. What happened between Neysa and Cole? Why was Fritz worried then and what did he think Sasha needed to know now? And was Neysa the woman with the red stationary and what did any of it have to do with India?
Damn it all. Reading the journal only added to her questions. It hadn’t answered even one. Disgusted, she turned to put the journal back on the shelf, but as she did, a white envelope fell from the pages. She bent to pick it up noticing it was addressed to Fritz, but the handwriting looked very similar to the red envelope.
She felt his presence before she saw him and knew something was wrong. Dreading what she would see, but not sure why, she stood, glanced at the doorway and gasped. Cole had been upset with her before, but she'd never seen him angry.
Perhaps angry wasn’t the right word. Was there a word for more than angry? Her mind went blank. Everything flew straight out of her brain the second she saw him.
Why was he back so early?
His gaze shifted from her face to the object she was holding and her stomach dropped. The journal.
“Not long after I left, my editor called and said she’d been throwing up all night. Cancelled our meeting. I turned in my article last night, ahead of the deadline. I’ve been an ass lately, and haven’t been able to spend the time I want with you. I couldn’t wait to get back so we could spend the day together.” He nodded to the journal she held. “Not once did it occur to me, you would be just as happy for me to be in New York because you wanted to snoop.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he shook his head. “Don’t talk.” He mumbled and ran his hand across his face. “I can’t do this right now. I need to calm down before I say things I’ll regret. I want you waiting in the guest room when I get back. There’s nothing for you to get into in that room.” He turned halfway and looked over his shoulder. “I suggest you obey and not try my patience.”
She waited until the front door closed before letting the tears she’d been holding back fall. He had never been so angry he wasn’t able to talk with her and had to leave. Her body shook as she replayed the image of him walking away.
11
Fritz rang the doorbell and took a step back while he waited for Cole. When his phone rang less than twenty minutes ago, he’d been shopping nearby, looking for some local honey Kate had mentioned in passing a day or two ago. He’d wanted to buy a jar and leave it in the cupboard for her to find. He loved doing things like that to surprise her. Just before Cole called, he’d bought the last jar from the farmer’s market close to Cole and Sasha’s.
Cole answered the door, and Fritz hesitated before walking in. He didn’t know the details of what happened between Sasha and Cole, but judging from his friend’s expression, it wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity of good. They walked into the office and Cole closed the door behind them. Fritz raised an eyebrow, but kept silent.
Cole got straight to the point. “I came home early and found Sasha reading the journal.”
“But not the letter?”
“I don’t think so.”
Fritz dropped into the chair next to Cole. Taking a deep breath, he asked what he had to, “Which means she still doesn’t know about you and Neysa. Why you were together or why you broke up? Anything that happened in India?”
Cole snorted. “I wasn’t aware you knew until I read that letter. Didn’t even know the damn thing existed.”
“Neysa wrote me. After.” He expected Cole’s anger and was surprised at when he shrugged his shoulders. “I felt somewhat responsible and called her. We talked.”
“I’m glad she talked with someone. She wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Do you blame her?”
Cole’s eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t -”
“I’m not here to pass judgement. You both fucked up. I asked if you could blame her.”
Cole didn’t reply.
“Bottom line, Sasha knows you have a history with a woman you never told her about.”
“I planned to tell her, but never found the right time.”
“You found the time to propose.”
Cole lifted his head. “I never told Kate.”
Fritz nodded. “You never planned to marry her, either.”
“Sasha shouldn’t have gone into my office and read the journal without permission from me.”
“Agreed,” Fritz said. “And between that and the conversation you need to have with her, you’ve created quite the shit storm.” He knocked on the desk. “What are you going to do to address Sasha’s behavior?”
Cole scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I haven’t decided. I don’t think corporal’s the right direction. Right now she’s in the guest bedroom waiting for me.”
Fritz tapped on the desk, thinking. “Maybe that’s a direction you should look at.”
“Keeping her in the guest bedroom?”
“Not necessarily. You don’t confine her to a room, but you take away her ability to serve you, to be with you. No sleeping together, eating together, hanging out, or sex.” Fritz lifted an eyebrow, guessing it would be difficult to Cole to agree to such an arrangement.
Cole winced. “That’s a punishment for me as well.”
Fritz stood up. His job was finished. “Which is only fair.” He slapped Cole on the shoulder. “I’ll show myself out.”
Sasha heard the front door close for the second time and assumed whoever stopped in hadn’t stayed long. Would Cole come back now? She took several deep breaths to calm herself and was unsurprised when it didn’t work. How did this get so fucked up? Was it so wrong of her to read a journal on his office bookshelf?
But…
He was her Master. Unlike Julie and Daniel, she’d given Cole control outside the bedroom. Cole and she didn’t live an ask for forgiveness instead of permission life.
His footsteps echoed in the hallway, marking the steps he took to get to her.
She kept her head bowed. He was in the doorway. Had he calmed down? Or was he still angry?
“Look at me.” His voice didn’t sound angry, but disapproving.
She looked up. His face was all hard lines and tense muscle.
“I’m disappointed, Sasha,” he said, walking toward her. “I thought our relationship was stronger than this and your trust in me greater. I told you at dinner that there were issues in my past, but we would discuss them when I thought it appropriate. I also told you not to dwell on them. I assumed you would understand I meant the issue was not to be discussed, thought, or read about.”
She nodded. Yes, she was aware of everything he said. She’d gone after what she wanted and twisted his words to justify her going after those wants.
"That
you waited until I left to go into my office, tells me you knew of my thoughts on the matter." He paused, watching her. “It was also deceitful.”
She wanted to argue, to tell him it wasn’t deceit. Deceit sounded premeditated and malicious. But even more, she wanted to know what it would take to make it right again. To make them right again. She’d do anything. He could cane her every day for two weeks and she’d take it gladly.
“I hate to do this, but it has to be done.” He crossed his arms. “You will not serve me for the next week.You are not welcome in my bed or at my table. And you are not to enter my office for any reason. This will be your room for the week. I'll permit you work, but you will go straight there and back. I’ll bring dinner to you, breakfast and lunch are up to you. Maybe by the end of the week you’ll be able to serve me the way we’d agreed.”
Finished, he turned and walked away.
She remained in place long after Cole left the room. The front door didn’t open again, suggesting he stayed in the house. Unable to hold herself upright, she slumped to the floor with a big sob.
It was the worst punishment imaginable. If told to write things she hated, being separated from Cole ranked number one. Now he’d banned her from his life for a week. Banished her to the guest room. God, her chest shouldn’t hurt this bad. Had he ripped her heart out with his hands, it couldn’t have hurt more.
She sat up and sniffled. What the fuck? She was a grown ass woman who had no business crying on the floor because of a man.
Staying in place, she forced herself to stop before she traveled further along that road. She’d come to terms long ago with being a submissive and lived according to her own wants, desires, and needs. Nothing about her and Cole’s relationship diminished her womanhood.