“Holy shit.” I bit my fist.
She moaned as I came back to kiss her more. More like attacked her. She had just enough time to drop the skirt and grab my hands before our mouths met again. Our clasped hands lifted above her head, the backs of mine pressing into the rough rocks of the building. It had the added bonus of causing her body to arch into mine.
I ground my body against hers and she hooked a leg behind me to push my hardness against her with a moan. Only our gasping breaths filled the night. The soft shuffle of our clothes rubbing restlessly against each other.
She smelled and tasted amazing. I never wanted this to end. Never. I would figure out how to work with my face on hers.
The heavy metal door to our left squeaked loudly against the quiet night.
Vincent walked out and I stepped back instantly. She straightened and shifted her dress back down, discreetly wiping her mouth. I glared up at the sky. Come on.
“Roxy?” he called out.
We were a few feet apart by the time he spotted us. I braced the wall with one arm, slightly turned away, pretending to observe the trees surrounding us, but mostly trying to hide the evidence of what we’d been doing. He would definitely see.
I glanced over my shoulder to find Vincent looking between us with a raised eyebrow. Roxy strode toward him smoothly, twisting her hair up into a bun as she went.
“What’s up?” she asked coolly.
I turned back to the forest and wiped my face. Her taste still filled my mouth. My body was rock hard and wound up, humming like a running motor.
“The DJ needs another mic, is there a backup somewhere?” Vincent asked.
“Sure. In the back room, I’ll show you.”
I let out a breath. I had hoped after our talk that she had finally begun to trust me but it was obvious we were back to the same old story. We’d get close. She’d pull away. She’d say sorry later. I wished we could just go back to that first night and start all over. Just let me go back to the beginning to do it right the first time. I should have never let her go. Instead, it felt like the closer we grew, the further she pulled away.
I still looked out into the trees, a darkness threatening to take over. The first hint of acid churned in my throat when her hand rested on my shoulder.
“Hey, Colonel?”
When I turned to meet her, I found her smiling shyly at me.
“Busy tomorrow?” she asked.
“Tomorrow?” My thoughts scrambled to catch up. “Sunday? No. Wide open. Free as a bird.”
“Good,” she said. “Let’s hang out.”
“Hang out. Yup. Sounds good.”
She bit back a grin and walked away.
I looked to the sky again. This time I grinned.
Chapter 19
Roxy
The forest floor was easily thirty feet down. The only thing that stood between me and certain bone breaks was the flimsy harness wrapped around my hips like an oversized diaper.
“I don’t think this is what Vincent had in mind when he told me to trust people,” I said.
“Sure it is.” Sanders smiled at me.
It was Sunday afternoon and the sun sparkled through the canopy of the tall pines. Though I preferred to enjoy trees much closer to the ground. Man wasn’t meant to be this close to heaven.
In preparation for MooreTek’s arrival tomorrow, Sanders suggested we go explore a local zip-lining company and discuss the logistics of liability. Sanders also insisted that experiencing the adventure firsthand would help me understand the process and a little trust never hurt anyone. Sanders was an idiot. And I was just as bad for going along with it.
Now that there was thirty feet between me and the earth, I decided that somebody could most definitely get hurt. Somebody being me. I double-checked the clips—he called them carabiners—that attached me to the rope in two spots.
“Thought it might be best to show you the ropes.” He raised an expectant eyebrow at me. “Little zip-lining pun? Never fails to get a chuckle.”
“Har. Har.”
My palms wouldn’t stop sweating. How was I supposed to hold on for dear life when my palms couldn’t grip anything? This seemed like a major design flaw in humans. Like putting our only air pipe next to the place where we swallow food.
“Are you okay? You’ve gone quiet.” He nudged my arm lightly until I looked at him.
“This is safe, right? Board certified? The government approved this? What sort of safety requirements did this pass? Where can I read up on the regulations? I should have checked all this before we left.”
He studied me closely enough that I started to wonder if there was something on my face. A smile tugged at the side of his mouth.
“It’s totally safe. No accidents to date,” he said, then added, “The worst thing that has ever happened was the guy who drank too much the night before and lost his lunch.”
“You deal with a lot of vomit in your job?”
He shrugged. “I weirdly do. Preparing me for fatherhood I guess.”
My brain instantly imagined him gently bouncing a baby on his shoulder with one of his giant grins on his face. It did weird things to me. I shoved those thoughts way down. I’m on to you, Mother Nature. Calm yourselves, ovaries, we ain’t the breeding type.
Sanders gestured to the zip line that stretched from the platform we stood on to one about twenty meters away. “This is just a small example of what Outside the Box has in Denver,” he explained. “We have basic zip lines like this, longer and shorter distances and different heights off the ground. But we also have obstacle course-type experiences, like rope bridges and free falls.”
“Good Lord,” I muttered. I smoothed my ponytail, my damp palms pulling on the loose strands. I took a quiet deep breath in.
“Hey, trust me. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He held my gaze and I found there complete and open honesty. I believed him. He’d already explained how everything worked, how to hold on and place my hands. I knew, in theory, what to do, but that was very different than in practice.
“Okay.” I nodded.
Unfortunately, even though I believed him, my body didn’t move. I gripped the rope as though my life depended on it. Oh, that’s right, because my life did depend on it. My feet remained planted, turned toward the inside of the platform, away from the taunting distance below.
“Are you afraid of heights?” he asked.
“No,” I said instantly. “No sane person puts themselves in this position willingly.”
He looked at me again. Too closely. Why did he keep doing that? He hadn’t talked about our kiss and so I hadn’t either. It was pretty clear that both of us enjoyed it but that didn’t make the aftermath any less awkward. I thought maybe we would continue what we started last night when he picked me up today. So when he suggested this suicide mission, I was a little thrown off.
Also how did one bring that sort of thing up? “Hi, how are you? Nice to see you again. Can I suck your face now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way?”
“You don’t let go of control easily. Neither does Skip.”
“Really?” I asked momentarily distracted.
“Yeah. He only started OTB with me because I needed a partner.” He frowned a little as he focused on the horizon. “He’s much better at the business side of things. I just like taking people out of their comfort zone.”
“Clearly,” I said. Then added, “So he doesn’t like—”
“You’re stalling.”
This time it was my turn to snap. “No. I’m not. I’m up here, literally so outside of my comfort zone I don’t remember what it looks like. You push and push me.” I couldn’t believe I was able to articulate precisely what I was feeling at exactly the moment it needed to be said. Sanders made me braver, but he needed to return the favor. “You want me to trust you. I’m asking you to do the same for me.”
I held his stare looking as pissed off as I possibly could, wearing this goofy-ass helmet.
&nbs
p; He swallowed, the tendons of his cheeks flexing as he clenched his jaw.
“I don’t like to talk about this stuff. It makes me sound shitty.”
I wanted to reach for his hand but I wasn’t about to let go of this rope. Instead, I shuffled my foot slowly to nudge his. “I shared my dark past with you last night. You can trust me.”
He scratched at his chin. “I don’t think Skip in particular likes this business, no. I think he became my partner to help me. And then it took off and I’m not really good at managing the details all the time. And now it’s too hard to imagine doing this without him.”
I nodded like I understood. But I didn’t really. I couldn’t imagine counting on people in such a big way. It was just asking for failure.
“He typically has to handle the stuff I just plain don’t want to. That’s the reason I missed the conference in Denver. Recently a lot of companies like ours have crept up. We were losing business because I kept making these stupid mistakes. I was really distracted toward the end of my time with my dad. And when he passed, I well, I couldn’t function for a few days.”
“I’m sorry,” I said and quickly managed to squeeze his shoulder.
He sucked in air through his teeth and rubbed at his collarbone, shoulders stretching beneath his shirt as though to get some air. “The day of the conference, a big group came to town. They went to the hotel where they were supposed to be staying.” He winced. “I forgot to book their rooms. They showed up, about twenty of them, and there was nothing available. I rushed to go meet with them and find a place but everything was booked for the conference. I had to smooth feathers. But I fucked up. Big-time. Skip stood in for me at the trade show as I groveled to the customer and got them a place to stay at some Airbnbs. It was awful.”
He closed his eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. Admittedly, that made my skin itchy. That type of mistake was my biggest fear.
“Skip is always there to clean up my messes. Following behind me with his sweeper to pick up my pieces.”
“Is that why he came to Green Valley?” I asked cautiously.
He glanced to me. “Yeah. Between my dad and the business”—his eyes flicked to mine and away—“I think he thinks that I’m struggling a bit.”
This made me frown. Sanders always seemed so put together. So confident. It was hard to imagine him needing help at all.
“One day …”
“What?” I asked.
“One day, he’s going to stop coming to my rescue.” He chewed his lip thoughtfully.
“And you will be fine,” I said. Reluctantly I released the rope to grab his hand. “You’ll figure it out and he’ll still be your friend. You’re more than capable of handling the business. I’ve seen it. You’re fantastic with customers. Skip is a great friend, but you could handle the business yourself if you wanted to let him go. You handled the mistake you made with the conference. You can handle more than you think, I bet. You’re whip smart. You’re just dealing with something terrible.”
“Thanks.” He glanced away and back, scratching at the back of his neck. “That’s why I’m out here. To help fix the damage I’ve done.”
“You will. This week will be great and you’ll get a ton of business. Maybe you could even open another branch out here?” I said hesitantly.
His gaze held me in place. “That would be great.”
We smiled at each other and I felt myself blush. God, I’m such a sucker. But I was honored that he shared with me. I knew what it cost him.
“See? Look at us. Sharing. You can see why this is good for people. Nothing enables trust more than putting your life in a stranger’s hands,” he said.
“Gee, when you put it that way.” My head shook. I didn’t put my life in others’ hands. I didn’t even put my laundry in other people’s hands. If I wanted something done right, I did it myself.
“You’re going to need to move eventually,” he said.
“I know.” I nodded a few times rapidly but still didn’t move. Now my eyes wouldn’t open.
Two large hands squeezed my shoulders. The sudden contact was so jolting my eyes shot open.
He gently squeezed. “Why don’t we try something else?”
“I’m not camping,” I said.
“No.” He chuckled. “I didn’t realize you were so scared.”
“I’m not scared. I’m sane. This isn’t healthy. Millions of years of evolutionary instinct yelling that this is a bad idea.”
“I understand.” He seemed genuine. “Let’s climb back down.” He started to reclip his carabiners.
“I’m not falling for your reverse psychology.”
“Roxy, I promise that’s not what this is. I wanted to show you what Outside the Box does. I’m not trying to force you into something you aren’t comfortable with. I have other activities we could try. Or we can hang out and watch the next group.”
I crossed my arms. “Screw that. I’m doing this.” I double-checked the chin strap of my helmet.
He was being honest with me. I could do this. Take a leap of faith for once. Even if it was just a tiny one. I crouched and pushed myself off without another word. My body zipped through the air. The forest blurred around me. Okay, I was only going like five miles an hour but it felt much faster.
I screamed, clamping my eyes shut. I was definitely making a fool of myself and knew that Sanders was laughing at me. It was all over fast. The next platform was waiting only a few yards away. I did as we practiced and landed with a gentle thump on the mat.
My whole body shook as I clipped myself to the next rung and the next until I was secured to the platform.
“That was awful!” I screamed across to him.
“You were great,” he yelled back with a big stupid goofy grin that made me want to kiss it right off.
He was across and on the platform with me not ten seconds later. I was beginning to sense this was the bunny hill of zip-lining.
“Okay, I admit it, Colonel, that wasn’t as terrible as I thought it was going to be.”
“Just wait until you do the ones that are three hundred feet in the air. Or half a mile long.” He grinned and it was infectious.
“That’s never going to happen. I’m good for the rest of time,” I said, dead serious. I was proud of myself but saw no reason to tempt fate ever again. “Can we get down now?”
He laughed. “I’ll go first. Just remember lead with red, unclip, clip, then green, unclip, clip.”
“Got it,” I said.
The platform was only about twenty steps but it took a few minutes to do the clip and unclip thing, so that by the time I almost reached the bottom, my already shaking arms were fatigued. Okay, I needed to work my upper body more. More classes at Stripped and maybe I’d be able to hang, literally, like Suzie.
“There you are. I went and made some tea and came back,” Sanders said a few feet below me.
“Aren’t you hilarious,” I said.
But I wasn’t paying attention. I’d let myself get comfortable in the rhythm of the work and realized I grabbed the green clip first.
“Shit,” I said, my brain short-circuiting.
“Okay, Roxxo?” he asked.
I clung to the rung. This was ridiculous. I could literally fall from here and I would be fine. Worse case it’d knock the wind out of me but it was as though my fear was on a delay and I physically couldn’t move. I looped my arms through the rung and closed my eyes.
“I’m fine. I live here now,” I called. I was humiliated. I tried so hard to keep my shit together around Sanders but he just had a knack for opening all the darkest rooms in my mind, rummaging through my stuff with a giant flashlight.
“You’re super close. You don’t need to worry about the clips. Just come on down. I’ll catch you.”
“Yep. Okay.” I didn’t move.
“New plan,” he called up. “I’m gonna come and unclip you and then we’ll climb the rest together.”
“Honestly, I’m fine,” I
said.
“Sure you are. But I need to get this equipment returned, so can you help me out?”
“You should have brought your own.”
“Weirdly, they weren’t okay with that.”
“Okay. I’ll allow you to help me to help you,” I said in a squeaky voice.
He chuckled. “Thanks.”
The rungs weren’t made for two people at a time. He had to balance a step higher and below me so that he was sort of bear hugging me from behind. My back was pressed tightly to his front. His warmth wrapped around me like a sun-dried towel after a dip in the pool.
“Just gonna do this one first.” He unclipped me fast and confidently.
Everything about him was so assured. He moved through life as though he’d reviewed every step ahead of time and was just retracing a familiar path. I envied that poise but I knew the truth now. He was just as afraid as I was. But he didn’t let that stop him. He leapt even when he was scared.
“Now, you’re just gonna climb down. Just like a step ladder at work,” he said.
My head shook even as I said, “Okay.”
He laughed a little and it shuddered through my body.
“We’re very close to the bottom. You could hop down from here. I promise.”
“I know. This is humiliating.”
“No. Totally normal. Post-adrenaline crash. Happens all the time.”
“You just made that up.”
“I’m sure it’s a thing. But, Roxy.” He lowered his head to whisper in my ear. Goose bumps trailed down my neck. “Are you ticklish?”
“Don’t you dare!” I said.
I pushed back and threw him off me. He hopped off and landed on his feet with a chuckle.
“Trust fall!” I yelled.
“Roxy, wait!”
But it was too late. I fell, crashing into his arms. We both collapsed onto the ground, rolling in a heap of limbs and swearing. I elbowed him hard on the chest. He gasped out a loud “oomph.”
I rolled off him and stood up. I unsnapped the helmet and the harness with shaking hands, feeling like I couldn’t breathe again until all the gear was off. Shrugging out of them so fast you’d have thought spiders were crawling all over them. He did the same from his position on the ground, wincing a little from where I hit him.
The One That I Want (Scorned Women Society Book 3) Page 17