Shadow Haven

by AJ Schippers

  “Well, thank you, I suppose. I would offer you something to drink, but I’m afraid that anything in the refrigerator is way past the expiration date.”

  Alexandra stepped closer to Julia and wrapped her arms around her broad shoulders in a reassuring hug. “Your house is lovely. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s cozy.”

  “Thanks.” Julia said, “Do…I…well—”

  “Words, please.”

  “Right. Do you want to freshen up or something? I could run to the store and get some groceries.”

  A devious smile spread on Alexandra’s face. “How about we both freshen up, and then we’ll go to the store together?”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “But I want to. I’m just a human being, Julia. I’d like to go grocery shopping with my girlfriend.”

  Julia looked up quickly. “G-girlfriend?”

  “Are you not?”

  “I—yes… I just have never heard you say that before, I think.”

  “Well,” Alexandra said as she pressed her lips against Julia’s, “how about it, girlfriend? Would you like to join me in the shower?”

  Julia nodded and grabbed Alexandra’s hand as she dragged her off in the direction of the bathroom.

  “Not so fast, eager one! I’ll need my toiletries.”

  “Oh yeah, of course.” Julia fetched Alexandra’s suitcase and dragged it into the bedroom. She pointed toward the closet. “You can use the right half. It’s never really full anyway.”

  “Thank you.”

  Julia left her to it as she went back to the living room. She fell onto the couch and angled her foot toward one of her backpack’s loops to drag it closer. Julia unzipped it and threw her toiletries bag on the couch next to her. That feeling of weirdness still surrounded her as she looked around her apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was home. Referring to it as home didn’t feel quite right, though. Shadow Haven…that was her home. Or, well, it had been. It would be again? She groaned and closed her eyes. Thinking about the definitions of the word home gave her a headache. It didn’t matter anyway. For now…this was home.

  In the shower, Alexandra was in the middle of lathering the soap onto Julia’s skin when she noticed it, the way Julia’s body vibrated just perceptibly, the way she leaned in a little too close to Alexandra’s body as they stood next to each other. She whispered into Julia’s ear, “My, my Ms. Quinn. I believe someone wants something.”

  “Please,” Julia groaned.

  “Turn around.” Alexandra pushed her into the wall behind her and placed a knee between Julia’s legs. “And what is it my girl desires?” She grabbed a fistful of wet hair and pulled it toward her.

  Julia took a shaky breath and ground into her knee.

  “Did you have permission to do that?” Alexandra bent forward and licked the water drops from the curve of Julia’s shoulder and then sucked the skin into her mouth. Her tongue slowly moved and then dipped inside Julia’s mouth, eager to play with the tongue that was so incredibly skilled and had brought her to ecstasy several times in the last couple of days. Their kiss was languid and seemed to last forever, but Julia pleaded for even more, a request Alexandra was all too willing to grant.

  “Alexandra…”

  “Spread your legs.”

  The simple request was immediately obeyed, and so Alexandra placed Julia’s hands against the wall, like a criminal about to be thoroughly searched. Except Alexandra knew exactly what she was looking for and where she would find it. A finger slowly dragged down Julia’s stomach, the nail leaving a pleasurable red scratch on its way down. There was something delicious about the way the water flowed over Julia’s body: she wanted to drag her tongue over Julia’s stomach, soak up every drop.

  “What do you say?”

  “I don’t know whatchamacallit, but I would like your finger on my clit.”

  Alexandra snorted loudly and slapped Julia on the shoulder. “Seriously? That’s what you came up with?”

  “I’m horny, not resourceful.”

  Alexandra’s knee pushed harder into her. “On the contrary, I think you’re very resourceful. So,” she whispered in the husky tone she knew gave Julia goose bumps all over, “be resourceful.”

  “Please, touch me.”

  “You can do better,” Alexandra said as she pinched a nipple and twisted it for good measure.

  “Please, touch me…Miss.”

  Julia moaned loudly when, out of nowhere, Alexandra’s finger dragged slowly around her clit. As she sharply inhaled, it moved lower through her drenched slit. Her knees buckled. The finger finally moved inside while a thumb moved in the same rhythm. Sharp teeth were buried into the skin of her neck as the water washed over them both. Alexandra’s fingers were everywhere at once: gently tickling at the nape of Julia’s neck, twisting her nipples, circling her clit, brushing her lips, scratching her back. Judging by the sounds coming from Julia, the sensations were almost overwhelming.

  “My precious girl,” Alexandra whispered as she turned Julia around and pushed her against the wall again. “Touch me.”

  Julia didn’t have to be told twice. Her finger disappeared between Alexandra’s legs and found the eagerly awaiting clit. Alexandra hungrily attacked Julia’s mouth once more, muffling any sounds that escaped from her now-raspy throat. Their fingers worked hard to reach that moment of pure bliss.

  Julia was the first one to throw her head back against the wall, soon followed by Alexandra, who bit the skin over Julia’s collarbone to stop herself from nearly screaming out her pleasure. They stood there, panting and waiting for the other to catch their breath before Julia slowly shook her head and let out an actual goddamn giggle. “I can’t believe I said that.”

  “Said what?”

  “I don’t know whatchamacallit, but I’d like your finger on my clit.”

  “I’m going to frame that and put it in my playroom.” Alexandra winked and then pressed a soft kiss on Julia’s swollen lips. “I could easily be tempted to crawl into bed with you right now and just cuddle, but I’m also starving.”

  “Bed sounds so good.” Julia groaned. “My offer still stands; you can just rest up, and I can go to the store.”

  Alexandra rinsed them both off with the detachable showerhead. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower to towel herself dry. “And deny myself the chance to go to an actual supermarket? No way!”

  Julia gulped. “When you say, ‘an actual supermarket,’ does that mean you’ve never been to one before?”

  “Of course I haven’t.”

  “What! So, what… You’ve got servants doing groceries for you when I’m not there? Oh, my God, don’t tell me you have a butler or something.”

  Alexandra burst out in laughter and slapped Julia’s ass with the end of her towel. “Of course not. I was just pulling your leg. I have seen many a supermarket from the inside, thank you very much.”

  “You’re impossible,” Julia sighed. “Cute, but impossible.”

  “Less talking, more dressing. We have shopping to do.”

  “That’s, like, the most domestic thing you’ve ever said to me,” Julia chuckled softly.

  “I told you, I want to see your world. I’ve shown you kink, now it’s your turn to show me what it’s like to go grocery shopping together, because I can honestly say…I’ve never done that with a partner.”

  Julia scoffed. “Well, neither have I.”

  “Well look at that.” Alexandra smirked. “We’re grocery shopping virgins.”

  “That’s…a disturbing description.” Julia scrunched up her nose as she put her hair in a ponytail. “But it’ll do.” She smiled when Alexandra wrapped her arms around her waist.

  “Yes it will. See, so far we’ve spent a couple of hours back in the real world, and we’re still both here. Nothing has changed.”

  “Something has changed, though…” Julia said as she bit her lip.

  “Oh?”

  “We’re both virgins again.”

 
Chapter 26

  Julia took a deep breath before knocking on Caroline’s office door. She had stopped by a few of her coworkers’ offices earlier, and while it had been to fun to catch up with them, she had felt anxious the entire time.

  “Who is it?” a distracted-sounding voice called out, and Julia rolled her eyes before entering the office. Caroline knew it was her; they had an appointment, for crying out loud. Her heart started pounding faster when she finally laid eyes on Caroline after two whole months. Immediately, anger started to boil up, and she crossed her arms as she leaned against the doorpost.

  “Julia!” Caroline’s face lit up. She cocked her head to the side. “You look good.”

  “Save it,” Julia hissed. “How could you?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know—”

  “Oh, please. You know exactly what I am talking about,” Julia spat out. “I trusted you. You took care of me when no one else did, and I trusted you.”

  “Julia,” Caroline said.

  “You do not get to talk to me,” Julia said, getting angrier by the minute. “‘Go on a vacation, Julia! It will be so good for you!’”

  “To be fair—”

  “I thought you were sending me on a fucking vacation, and instead you sent me off to an island I couldn’t leave with a woman who is a professional dominatrix. Do you not understand how completely ridiculous that is?”

  “Are you done?”

  “No. I’m furious at you.” Julia sighed. “Fine. I’m done.”

  “Sit down.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Come on, Julia. Don’t act like a two-year-old. Sit down.”

  Julia threw herself down on the couch and crossed her arms. She honestly hadn’t meant to get so angry, but something about the whole situation—no matter how well it had worked out—was just infuriating her all over again.

  “First things first,” Caroline said as she sat down next to Julia. “I never for a minute meant to hurt you or to break your trust in me.” She ran a finger through her long, blonde locks, and Julia averted her eyes when Caroline met her gaze.

  “You have every right to be mad at me, but I need you to know that I did this because I care a great deal about you.”

  Julia scoffed. “Out of my great care for you, I’d like to shove you in an ocean full of sharks right now.”

  Caroline rolled her eyes. “I see you’re still as feisty as ever. That’s good. I assume Alexandra hasn’t beaten that out of you, then.”

  Julia scowled as she sought out Caroline’s eyes.

  “I’m kidding. I know you think this was all one giant setup, and I suppose…in a way, it was. When I saw that my secretary messed up the dates, I wanted to say something. But you have to understand that I saw an opportunity, Julia. You were unhappy and overworked, and no matter what Alexandra would say, she was just as unhappy. Judging by the fact that you two came back here together, would I be wrong in suggesting that you’ve found happiness with each other?”

  “You already know that.”

  “I’d still like to hear about it,” Caroline gently offered. “My best friend fell in love with my best coworker and friend. It’s like an epic love story. At some point, I’m going to want details.”

  “How did you know?” Julia whispered. “How did you know I would be into the lifestyle?”

  Caroline patted Julia’s knee. “I suppose I would call it instinct. I had no real proof. But I did know that you and Alexandra would at least get along. I could only hope that it would turn into something more. Now that it has, I am just so happy for you two. Both of you deserve great happiness, and I am glad you found it with each other.”

  Julia slowly shook her head as she took in all of what Caroline was saying. She didn’t appreciate that Caroline had purposely not mentioned anything to either her or Alexandra about the mistake in dates, or that she didn’t inform her of Alexandra’s profession. But there was one thing Caroline had been absolutely right about: it had taken some time, but they did get along. Even more than that, she had found the love of her life. “I’m still mad at you.”

  “That’s okay.” Caroline smiled. “Honestly, you can be mad at me for as long as you like, but one day, you’re going to wrap your arms around me and thank me for what I did.”

  “Very unlikely,” Julia scoffed.

  “I am honestly sorry if I hurt your feelings or broke your trust. It was never my intention. I took a gamble, and it paid off. But it’ll only be the truth from now on. I promise.”

  “What would you have done if this hadn’t worked out?”

  “I would have apologized profoundly and admitted that I was wrong, but—”

  “Save it,” Julia said as she held up a hand. “I get it. You’re gloating.”

  “Just a little,” Caroline said with a grin.

  “So, why did you want to see me? I guess you’re not going to fire me for screwing your best friend.”

  “Heavens no. I just wanted to make sure that you and I were okay. That I hadn’t lost you as a friend over a decision I made.” She paused. Julia knew that look. It was the one Caroline wore when she was carefully choosing her words. “Tell me about Alexandra.”

  Julia sighed happily. “She’s perfect. The first thing she did when she saw me was yell at me. But with time, she opened herself up, and I got to know the real Alexandra. Not the dominatrix, but the woman who lost her parents, who went fishing with her little brother, and who still has nightmares over the stunt her asshole ex-client pulled on her.”

  Caroline nodded as she let Julia speak.

  “I fought her every step of the way. I told her over and over that I was not into the lifestyle, and she accepted that, although she did make lots of innuendos.”

  “Sounds like her.”

  “I was doomed from the first moment I met her. I fell for her, and I fell hard. There hasn’t been one moment in all that time I was with her where I wasn’t safe; where I wasn’t looked after with nothing but the utmost care and,” she swallowed thickly before adding, “and love.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Yes.” Julia’s eyes filled up with tears, and she angrily wiped them away with her sleeve. “I’m scared to tell her. I’m scared that the moment those words fall from my lips, I will want to run. I don’t know how to love someone.”

  “It sounds like you already know how to. She’s here with you. She wouldn’t be if her love for you were a one-sided thing.”

  “I suppose that’s true, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared shitless. We’ve been back here for a couple of days now, and it’s all going so well, but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “You have to allow yourself happiness, Julia,” Caroline said quietly. “Your entire face lights up when you talk about her, and at some point, the shoe will probably drop. You will have a horrible fight, and your first instinct will be to run far away, but you can’t outrun love. It has its way of catching up with you.”

  She was right, Julia thought. So she told Caroline the whole story, the ups and downs, the moments she and Alexandra had laughed and cried together, their fights, and how all of that had turned into love and acceptance. She spoke of her fears for the future and her objections to Alexandra’s job. She spoke about her insecurities and how Alexandra had taken a lot of those insecurities and somehow turned them into strengths now.

  “She said she didn’t want to lose me, that she would quit her job. I told her I didn’t want her to do that. And honestly I don’t, but at the same time… I suppose I’m jealous because she’s touching all these people when I’d rather have her touch me.”

  Caroline nodded. “There’s a difference, though. When she touches her clients, she’s doing her job. Her job doesn’t come from a place of love, unlike her relationship with you, where love is the very basis of her actions.”

  “I know. I see that now. I just worry because how the hell are we ever supposed to last out here in the real world when she lives on an is
land hours from here? It’s not like I can pop over for a visit.”

  Julia briefly closed her eyes as she thought about the words she had just spoken out loud for the first time. The idea of losing Alexandra now, after all they’d been through, was devastating. “We’re supposed to talk about all of that after the fundraiser. I just don’t want to be one of those people who sees their other half once a year, you know? Now that I’ve found her, I don’t want to let her go.”

  Caroline smiled as she wrapped an arm around Julia’s shoulder and hugged her closer to her. “There are other options, and I am sure you two will figure out what works best for the both of you. I will tell you this much: you are not going to lose her. That woman loves you with all her heart, and I’ve never seen her feel like this about anyone before.”

  “You paid her,” Julia said suddenly. She’d been so angry she’d forgotten to explain the main reason why. “You paid her to let me stay with her.”

  Caroline nodded. “I did. Let me guess… Alexandra told you she was royally compensated?”

  Julia frowned. “How do you know that?”

  “It’s what she says to people to protect herself. Trust me, the money I sent her wouldn’t buy you a decent meal in a two-dollar restaurant.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I literally sent her a dollar, Julia. One dollar. It’s a joke between us. It started when we were in college, and we never stopped doing it. She calls it her royal compensation, when in reality, it’s a useless dollar.”

  Julia gasped. “My God. I felt like shit for days.”

  “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. If I had known, I would have told you sooner. Trust me, it wasn’t the money. If she didn’t want you there, you’d have been back on the first plane she could hire.”

  “Why didn’t she tell me?” Julia stood up from the couch and crossed her arms once more as she looked at Caroline through narrowed eyes.

  “Perhaps she…liked what she saw.”

  Julia’s eyes widened. “So, she let me stay because she thought I was attractive?”