“Then maybe they’re all busy with a bank robbery somewhere.”
“Doubtful,” Malcolm said.
“Or,” Dandy continued, “maybe they thought we were just a couple of kids playing a prank, and they’re not coming at all.”
Dandy had a point. Malcolm hadn’t thought of that. But the emergency dispatcher said he’d call it in. He hadn’t acted like it was a prank.
Just when Malcolm was getting worried, he saw the police cruiser turning the corner. The car rolled into the Millers’ driveway, and Malcolm met the police officers who got out of the car.
“You the one who called in a break-in?” a squat, bald cop who resembled a bowling ball asked him.
“Yes, sir. The family is out of town,” Malcolm told him.
The other cop leaned on the driver’s side door. He was a lot younger and thinner, and his uniform looked like it was swallowing him whole.
“What are you boys doing poking around here if the family’s gone?” the thin cop asked.
“I’m dogsitting for them while they’re away,” Malcolm quickly filled in the officers.
Dandy stood by him, twirling a clover between his fingers. His mouth was hanging open, and Malcolm knew he was amazed that he was meeting real cops.
“Okay,” the bowling ball cop said. “You boys wait back over there.” He pointed across the street, where they had been waiting. “We’ll check it out.”
Malcolm didn’t hesitate. He and Dandy hurried across the street. They stood, staring as the two policemen knocked on the front door.
When no one answered, the police peeked into windows. Malcolm and Dandy watched as they disappeared into the backyard. Brom and Bowser let out a few barks, but quickly stopped.
“This feels really dangerous,” Dandy said, still twirling the clover.
“Yeah,” Malcolm whispered. The entire street felt hushed and quiet except for the occasional call being reported on the police car’s radio. “We have a stalled car reported on Hansen Road.”
Moments later the two cops emerged. The bowling ball cop looked toward them and shrugged. “Nothing in there.”
Malcolm ran over. “But I saw him!”
“Maybe it was your imagination,” the driver said. “You know, a trick of the light or something.”
“Someone was in the house!” Malcolm argued. “I can show you where.”
Both cops sighed as they followed Malcolm to the backyard. Dandy held the dogs while Malcolm led the cops to the kitchen window.
“He was in here,” Malcolm told them.
The cops framed their faces with their hands and peered in.
“I don’t see anything,” the skinny cop said.
“Me neither,” the bowling ball cop agreed.
Malcolm peeked in, too. Right there, next to the refrigerator, stood the same man he’d seen before.
“He’s right there!” Malcolm shouted, trying to point through the glass.
The cops looked in again. When they didn’t see anything, they glared at Malcolm.
“Are you playing games with us, kid?” the bowling ball cop sneered. “‘Cause if you are, we might need to have a talk with your parents.”
“But I see him! I swear I’m not making this up. I would never waste your time,” Malcolm pleaded.
The skinny cop looked around and asked, “What is that annoying beeping?”
Malcolm looked down at the waistband of his jeans. His specter detector was suddenly going berserk.
The driver snorted. “Toys. Let’s go, Jake,” he said to the bowling ball cop. They trudged away.
Malcolm looked at Dandy. Dandy looked at Malcolm. They both looked down at the ghost detector. Then Malcolm dared another peek in through the kitchen window.
The figure had moved closer to the window now. Malcolm could make out every detail of his transparent face.
The man grinned at Malcolm and mouthed, “I’m gonna get you.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
BREAKING IN
“Guess we don’t have to go on a ghost hunt now, huh?” Dandy said, squirming around. Brom and Bowser were back, looking up at him with begging eyes.
“Yeah, but we only have the ghost detector with. I forgot to bring the ghost zapper,” Malcolm complained.
“So now what?” Dandy asked, still wiggly.
“We come back after dinner,” Malcolm said. “We can zap that ugly mullet then.”
“We’re not going in now?” Dandy asked with a relieved sigh.
“No,” Malcolm answered. “We have to prepare.”
“Good,” Dandy said, wriggling like crazy. “‘Cause I have to use the bathroom.”
•••
That evening Malcolm ripped into his fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He was eager to get a move on since this was his big chance to test the ghost zapper.
He was also eager to get away from the table. Cocoa had stayed outside too long and now had big white circles around her eyes where her sunglasses had been. She looked like a giant strawberry with a fungus.
“I’d rather have jellybeans!” Grandma Eunice complained through the entire meal. Malcolm shoveled his food down quickly to get away as fast as possible. The last thing he needed was for his mom to say he had to stay home with his grandma tonight.
He couldn’t help but worry though. The ghost told him, “I’m gonna get you.” Malcolm didn’t take kindly to threats. Not even ghost threats. But he definitely had to proceed with caution.
The late afternoon sun hung low in the west. One thin cloud crossed it so it looked like a basketball sailing though the net. It was still a couple of hours ’til dark.
Malcolm waited for Dandy in the Millers’ front yard. He had already turned the ghost detector to On so it’d be warmed up and ready.
Dandy approached commando style, ducking behind shrubs and the gate. He was wearing earmuffs and tinted safety goggles. He looked like a scientist CIA operative in the Arctic.
“What’s all that for?” Malcolm asked.
“Huh?” Dandy said.
Malcolm removed the earmuffs. “What’s with the extra gear?”
“The detector hypnotized me last time. I didn’t want to take any chances.”
Dandy made a good point. “I think it might be okay as long as you don’t look at the blinking light too long,” Malcolm explained.
“Oh,” Dandy said, disappointed. “Can I keep the goggles on? They make everything look like I’m underwater.” He did a mock breaststroke.
“Sure,” Malcolm said. They headed around back.
Dandy stopped to pet the dogs. “Hey, Bowser. Hey, Brom.”
Brom answered with a burpy-sounding bark.
“Shhhh!” Malcolm warned. “We want the element of surprise.”
Dandy grinned. “I love surprises.”
“Not a surprise for us, Dandy. We want to surprise the ghost . . . catch him off guard.”
Dandy nodded, putting a finger to his lips. Then, the boys tiptoed toward the window.
Malcolm heard a yipping noise and looked toward the doghouse. There stood the small white dog. He was shaking.
Malcolm decided to check on the pooch once the Millers’ ghost had been zapped. The poor thing looked frightened.
Malcolm peered into the window. Nothing was there. He scanned the entire kitchen.
“You see anything?” Dandy whispered.
“Not yet.”
Malcolm’s gaze moved to the open area that went from the kitchen to the living room. There, the ghost was lounging on the sofa, staring at the blank TV.
“Wait! I see him. Looks like he’s watching ghost TV.”
“Neat!” Dandy said. “I wonder what they show on that channel . . .”
Malcolm motioned Dandy closer. “We have to find a way in.”
They tried the window. Locked.
They tried the back door. Locked.
“We could slide down the chimney,” Dandy suggested.
“That’s too dangerous.”
; Dandy shrugged. “Maybe for you. But I’m wearing safety goggles, remember?”
“I’ve got a better idea,” Malcolm told him. He stepped up onto the plastic container of dog food and ran his fingers along the top of the back door.
“Not there,” he said. He jumped down and lifted the doormat. Nothing. Then he shoved the large dog food container aside. There it was—a shiny brass key.
Malcolm held it up in triumph. “See? This is better than sliding down the chimney.”
Dandy shrugged. Malcolm could tell that Dandy was a tad disappointed. He knew Dandy had been ready to see how it felt to be Santa Claus.
As quietly as humanly possible, Malcolm slipped the key in and unlocked the door.
CHAPTER EIGHT
COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE
Click! Malcolm opened the door in slow-motion, careful of what might jump out. He looked left . . . then right. All clear.
He gently placed a foot inside. That’s when Bowser and Brom decided to serenade them with some lonesome howls. It all felt too eerie to Malcolm.
Dandy crept in behind Malcolm and was about to shut the door. “Wait,” Malcolm whispered. “Let’s leave it open . . . just in case.”
“In case of what?” Dandy whispered back, his goggles crooked on his face.
Malcolm wanted to say, “In case we have to make a run for it.” But he didn’t want to sound like a coward. “I think it’s just safer that way,” he said instead.
Dandy cocked his head to the side. “But what if the ghost gets out?”
“Then it probably won’t haunt the Millers’ house anymore and our job will be done.”
Dandy looked thoughtful. “But I thought we’re here to zap it, not chase it away.” He made a vibrating motion like he was being zapped.
“We are,” Malcolm argued. “But let’s keep our options open, okay?”
“Okay,” Dandy agreed. “We’ll keep the door open . . . just like our options.”
They tiptoed across the kitchen. Malcolm had his ghost detector at the ready. The amber light bleeped one pulse per second, meaning there was no ghost activity at the moment.
“Here’s the plan,” he whispered. “Once the ghost shows himself, I’ll whip out the zapper and spray. Easy, right?”
“Shouldn’t you keep it aimed?” Dandy wondered.
“I can draw it out fast,” Malcolm said. He flipped his arm quickly to show Dandy his speed.
“But I thought you had to shake it first,” Dandy reminded him.
“I’ll shake it as I pull it out.”
“You want me to hold it?” Dandy asked, adjusting his goggles.
“No! What if he recognizes what it is? It’ll scare him off and we won’t have a chance to zap him.”
Dandy scrunched his face, confused. “Then he’ll run out the kitchen door and our job will be done, right?”
“Just stay with me,” Malcolm said, once again moving across the kitchen floor. Butterflies danced in his belly.
Bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . .
Malcolm moved cautiously, aiming the detector. He pointed it everywhere. At the oven. The refrigerator. The microwave.
“You think the ghost could be hiding in there?” Dandy asked.
Malcolm nodded. “Ghosts can fold themselves into anything.”
“Really? ‘Cause I saw a girl once at a magic show who could fold herself up and crawl into a cereal box.”
“That was an illusion, Dandy. She didn’t really fit into the cereal box.”
“She could have,” he said. “There wasn’t any cereal in it.”
Malcolm ignored him and kept his pace. The detector continued bleeping. He moved on, slinking through the kitchen.
He peered into the living room. The sun had dropped farther in the sky, and Malcolm had to squint to see into the darkened room. No ghost on the couch. The clock on the mantel kept time with the detector.
Malcolm aimed the specter detector at everything, including the portrait of the Millers. The family of four grinned “cheese!” out of the frame at him.
“Maybe we should turn on a light,” Dandy said.
Malcolm shook his head. “It’s not that dark.”
“I can barely see a thing.”
He heard Dandy stumble and saw him feeling around for objects in front of him. “Take off those goggles,” Malcolm whispered.
“Oh, yeah.” Dandy reluctantly pulled them down where they dangled around his neck.
Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep!
The light on the ghost detector began to blink faster.
Suddenly, the TV clicked on. Malcolm jumped. Then he saw the remote lying on the coffee table, untouched. Yikes!
“Gee, I wonder what’s on the ghost channel,” Dandy said.
Only static and snow. Just as Malcolm reached for the remote, the picture cleared. A creepy phantom face looked out at them and grinned. “I’m gonna get you!”
CHAPTER NINE
GHOST HUNT
Malcolm clicked the off button on the TV several times. Dandy scrambled to put his goggles back on.
“Dude, what are you doing?” Malcolm yelled to him.
“I liked it better when I couldn’t see!” Dandy said.
“Dandy!”
The phantom winked at Malcolm, and then the screen faded to black. Malcolm shivered so hard he could barely hold the ghost detector steady.
Bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . .
“Why didn’t you zap it?” Dandy asked.
“Because it wasn’t really here. It was on TV. We’ve never used the ghost zapper, so we don’t know what it will do. Who knows what would’ve happened if I’d zapped the screen.”
“Yeah, and it is a flat-screen. That would’ve been expensive to replace,” Dandy reasoned. “What’d we do now?”
Malcolm wondered that too. He glanced back at the TV. It now looked like a giant black hole, ready to swallow him up. He backed away quickly.
“Maybe we should look around some more.”
“O-Okay,” Dandy said, trying to sound brave.
Bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . .
The ghost detector was still at one bleep per second. Malcolm felt safe for the moment. “This way,” he said.
He slowly inched his way to the hall, leading to the Millers’ bedrooms. He’d barely taken two steps into it when he heard a loud crash! Malcolm flipped on the light and turned. Dandy lay sprawled out on the floor, face down. “Dandy!”
“Sorry,” Dandy said, his voice muffled by the carpet. “I fell over the coffee table.”
“Take off those goggles!”
Dandy did what Malcolm said, even though he felt safer with the goggles on. He caught up to Malcolm in the hallway.
Both boys stepped lightly. Malcolm held the detector with his left hand. He kept his right hand clutched around the zapper. He wasn’t taking chances. This nasty ghost could jump out at any moment, and Malcolm wanted to be able to whip out the zapper fast.
The boys crept up to the first bedroom. Malcolm peeked around the doorjamb. It was Katie Miller’s room. She was the Millers’ oldest daughter who went to high school. The walls were plastered with movie posters and silly street signs.
Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep!
Dandy tapped Malcolm on the shoulder. “Does that guy look familiar to you?” He pointed to a poster of the old movie, Gone with the Wind. It showed the lead actor, Clark Gable, dipping the lead actress, Vivien Leigh. They were just about to kiss.
Malcolm took a step closer. Gone with the Wind was one of Grandma Eunice’s favorite movies. She made Malcolm watch it with her nearly every time he had to “watch” her for his parents. Malcolm could tell right away that this was not Clark Gable or any other character from the movie.
As though coming to life, the man’s head turned and grinned at them. “I’m gonna get you!”
Malcolm pulled out the zapper and shook it hard. But as he aimed it, the face on
the poster faded back to the original actor.
“Rats!” Malcolm yelled.
“I-I d-don’t th-th-think we’re going to g-get this one,” Dandy said. His voice echoed like a stadium announcer’s.
“I’m not giving up so easy,” Malcolm announced.
This ghost was playing games with them. Like ghost hide-and-seek. There had to be a way to get him. Malcolm headed back into the hall.
Bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . . bleep . . .
“Come on,” he told Dandy.
They did the usual tiptoe toward the next room.
“Who do you think it is?” Dandy asked.
“Who do I think who is?” Malcolm replied.
“The ghost. Who do you think he is and why do you think he’s haunting the Millers’ house?”
“I don’t know,” Malcolm said. “But he shouldn’t be here.”
“Maybe he should,” Dandy argued. “Maybe he’s guarding the house while the Millers are away.”
“A guard ghost? I don’t think so. He’s not wearing a guard uniform or anything.”
“Good point,” Dandy said.
The next door led to the parents’ bedroom. Malcolm flicked on the light and scanned the room. It was decorated with a blue striped bedspread, red striped curtains, and green striped wallpaper. The whole room looked like it was surrounded by bars.
Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep!
Dandy headed toward a desk in the corner. “Look. They left their computer on. Let’s Google something.”
Malcolm pulled Dandy back fast. One of the fish bobbing along the screensaver turned and swam toward them.
“I’m gonna get you!” it gurgled. One of the bubbles floated off the screen and exploded near Dandy’s face. He fell back on his bottom. The computer clicked off on its own.
“That’s it!” Malcolm yelled. “I’m going to find you!” He pulled Dandy to his feet, and they stomped out of the room.
The next door he came to was shut. It was the bathroom. Malcolm only knew this because he could hear water running.
Ghost Detectors Volume 1 Page 5