The Adventures of Hermes, God of Thieves

by Murielle Szac

  Suddenly, a deep voice rang out close by:

  “Who are you, you foolhardy young man, to dare attack Cerberus, the guardian of the Underworld? And how dare you disturb Hades in his own home?”

  An old man had appeared abruptly by his side. He had a long, grey beard and his eyes with their drooping eyelids gave him an air of infinite sorrow. He held a helmet in his hand. Hermes let out a sigh of relief as he recognized Hades and he regained the use of his glib tongue once more:

  “Good morning, uncle, I am Hermes, your nephew, don’t you recognize me? I am so very glad to see you at last. Zeus and Hera send me with their greetings… and also so that I may place myself in your service.” Hades silenced his dog by a clicking of his tongue. “You have arrived just in time, uncle,” Hermes said to him, “I was just about to become your dog’s snack! Brrr… It is not very warm in your palace.”

  The young man’s naturalness and spontaneity put Hades off his guard, used as he was to others trembling before him. Yet this unforeseen visit vexed him a little as well. Why couldn’t Zeus mind his own business, instead of sending him his son like this?

  The horrid Cerberus had calmed down. Its three repulsive muzzles now sniffed Hermes from head to toe. Hermes did not budge at all. At last he said:

  “He… he seems rather sweet, that dog of yours, uncle…”

  A glint of astonishment, then of amusement crossed Hades’ stern gaze.

  “Well, come along, then. I will show you round my kingdom,” he said.

  Old Hades seemed a little tamer already. Hermes trembled with curiosity. He was going to discover the Underworld.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 52

  IN WHICH HERMES MAKES HIS ENTRANCE INTO THE KINGDOM OF THE DEAD

  Previously: When he reached the Underworld, Hermes managed to escape Cerberus, the monstrous three-headed dog.

  Along, dark corridor, then another, then another still… Hermes was following his uncle Hades in silence. The more they advanced, the more they plunged deep down below the earth. Hermes kept wondering how he would ever be able to come out of these depths. In any case, he felt quite unable to find his way back on his own. Their steps resonated against the stone walls. It got warmer and warmer. The passageway became so narrow that Hermes felt he would suffocate. At that instant, an underground river appeared. Hermes, who was dying of thirst, hastened to drink. Yet Hades pushed him back sharply. “Never drink of this water, you fool, this is the river Lethe, the river which makes you forget everything! If you swallow the merest drop of this liquid, you will lose all memory of your life for ever!” Hermes drew back immediately. He did not want to have his memories erased.

  They resumed their way. Soon, the passage widened and they reached the junction of three roads. “This is where my kingdom begins. And here are my faithful servants, the judges,” said Hades. He was pointing with his finger at three figures sitting there and blocking the way. Before them waited a long line of shades. Each shade passed in turn before each of the three judges. And the judges questioned it about its past life. Then they discussed in low voices among themselves and afterwards they indicated to the shade one of the three roads behind them.

  Hermes was trying to understand what was taking place there, yet Hades did not give him the chance. “Come on!” he ordered. They took the first road, on which most of the shades were sent, and they reached a great flat and monotonous site. There was nothing at all to catch one’s eye. The place was plunged in half-darkness. Shades crossed paths gloomily. They did not speak to one another, nor did they look at each other. They glided from one point of the meadow to another incessantly. Some greeted Hades and Hermes with a slight wave of their hand. Hermes raised his winged hat politely to them. Yet Hades did not respond to the greeting.

  “All these dead are far too numerous, I cannot spend my day saying good morning to them,” he grumbled.

  They had hardly been there a few minutes and Hermes was already feeling mortally bored.

  “Where are we?” he asked.

  “We are in the Asphodel meadows, this is the first of my regions,” replied Hades. “All those who have never done anything truly good or truly bad ever in their lives are sent here; and that means most men.”

  Hermes was in a hurry to move away from this sad place where nothing ever happened. They returned to the junction of the three roads. They took the second path, on which very few of the shades were sent, and they reached an immense space full of greenery. It was a vast meadow, as pale green as the grass can be in the spring. Countless flowers were strewn everywhere on this carpet. Their perfumes embraced Hermes instantly. He went enchanted from a rose bush to a grove of budding cherry trees, slipped under the protective foliage of a weeping willow, listened to the warbling of the birds in the branches. He would never have guessed that he would find below the earth such eternal springtime! The most astonishing thing of all was the light which flooded this part of the Underworld, a light as bright as daylight. “And yet we are still under the earth!” Hermes said in astonishment. He noticed then shades lying on the grass. Yet these shades were no longer suffering or sad, not at all, these were laughing gaily. Some were whispering secrets to one another, others were listening to a poet’s shade reciting verses, and others still let themselves be transported by a sweet and melodious music. Their faces were serene. Everything here was in perfect harmony.

  “Where are we?” asked the young god, mesmerized.

  “We are in the fields of Elysium,” replied Hades, his voice full of pride. “Only the dead who have accomplished great exploits during their lifetime have the right to stay here. Entry is forbidden to those who have lacked either courage or kindness.”

  Hermes could not get enough of watching these shadows which seemed so happy. Yet Hades was already calling him:

  “Come, we still need to visit the third of my regions.”

  Along this road the shades were few in number. Yet those who had been sent this way by the three judges were shedding heavy tears.

  “Prepare yourself for what you are about to see,” Hades told him. Hermes was trembling, yet he could no longer turn back.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 53

  IN WHICH HERMES DISCOVERS THE DEPTHS OF TARTARUS

  Previously: Hades is showing Hermes around the kingdom of the dead. He is now taking him to Tartarus, the most horrifying part of the Underworld.

  Hermes gasped at the stifling heat which seized him by the throat. The place he had just come to was full of screams and moans. “The shadows who are sent here have committed crimes during their lifetimes. Their punishment is to end up in the depths of Tartarus,” explained Hades. They entered a first cave, dark and humid, where it was terribly hot. There, the shadows of about fifty young girls were busy in front of an enormous barrel. They carried great pitchers on their shoulders. They would first go to a well, lower their pitcher into the water, fill it up and then carry it, heavy as it was, to the barrel. There they emptied the water into the barrel and left straight away to go once more to the well. The female shadows never paused. “These are the shadows of the Danaids,” said Hades. “These young women killed their husbands. They have been condemned to fill this barrel and they may not stop until it is full!” At these words, Hades dissolved into laughter. Hermes, who was observing the shadows of the Danaids, understood why his uncle laughed so cruelly: the barrel was pierced with many holes and the water leaked to the ground. This barrel could never be full, and the shadows would never be able to rest.

  Hades led Hermes to a second cave. It was as humid and dark as the cave of the Danaids, yet it was even hotter there and the ceiling was much higher. At first, it was too dark and Hermes could not see a thing. Then his eyes became accustomed to the blackness and he could just make out a shadow, that of an almost naked man. This shadow was pushing a rock much bigger than itself towards the top of a mountain. A grimace twisted the man’s face, but he kept toiling with all his strength. Little by little
, the rock moved up the slope. Suddenly, Hades jibed: “So, then, Sisyphus, have you almost reached the top?” and he again broke into laughter. Hermes understood what made his uncle laugh: the instant Sisyphus arrived at the summit, his enormous rock hurtled down the slope on the other side of the mountain and was down at the bottom again. Sisyphus ran behind it with a look of total despair on his face. Too late! He was obliged to begin the entire process from the start. So he turned around and again began to push with all his might against the rock to bring it back to the top of the mountain. “Don’t lose heart, Sisyphus!” mocked Hades.

  Astonished, Hermes asked: “But why is he so determined to push this block of stone all the way to the top of this mountain?”

  The face of the god of the Underworld became stern: “Zeus has condemned him to push against this rock for all eternity.”

  “But what crime did he commit to receive such a horrific sentence?” asked Hermes.

  “He is an informer,” answered Hades. “One day, he saw Zeus leave with one of his sweethearts. The father of this young girl was looking for her everywhere. No one would answer his questions, because everyone was shielding the lovers’ escape. When he asked Sisyphus, well, Sisyphus went right ahead and reported what he had seen, thus betraying Zeus! To punish him for informing on him Zeus has condemned him to this sentence for ever.”

  Hermes remained silent. Hades, who seemed thrilled to have shown him round his kingdom, began to speak again. “But you haven’t seen everything yet, nephew! Follow me, there are other men who believed themselves to be stronger than the gods, and who are now condemned to terrible torments.”

  This time they entered into a cave which was bright and peaceful. A stream flowed there softly. There were trees full of ripe fruit. Yet Hermes discovered a man’s shadow attached to one of the tree branches, and suspended above the stream.

  “I am thirsty! I am hungry!” it cried when it saw Hades.

  “Tantalus, you ought to have thought of this before you tried to deceive the gods,” replied Hades. Attached to his branch, Tantalus squirmed in every direction in order to reach the water of the stream or even one of the fragrant fruits. Yet neither his mouth nor his hand could ever get close to the water or the fruit.

  Hermes left this third cave thinking about the power of his father, the god of gods.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 54

  IN WHICH HERMES AGREES TO UNDERTAKE A NEW MISSION

  Previously: Hermes has visited the Underworld

  with his uncle Hades. He has discovered

  Tartarus, the most dreadful region of all, the

  one where serious criminals are sent.

  To complete their visit of the Underworld, Hades led Hermes to a high-walled cave which was illuminated by torches. It was the centre of the earth, the heart of the Underworld. Hades had set up his palace there, a cold and grey residence with countless doors, all locked by key. He took Hermes to the throne room and made him sit beside him. “Now, tell me the news from up there,” he asked. Hermes needed no coaxing. He told him everything, about Zeus’ escapades and Hera’s anger, about Athena’s studies; about the grace of Apollo, the coquettishness of Aphrodite and the savagery of Ares; about the talent of Hephaestus, the prodigious birth of Dionysus and the hunts of Artemis… Hermes was a marvellous storyteller. He did not leave out a single detail or the littlest joke. Soon enough, a smile appeared on Hades’ face. “Dear child, I have not felt so light-hearted in a very long time,” he said. “Your words feel like honey pouring down my throat. My brother was right in sending you here.” And this is how Hermes came to stay in Hades’ palace. “I am the richest brother among the three of us,” said Hades proudly. “My kingdom has by far more subjects than those of Zeus and Poseidon.” It was true: the dead were much more numerous than the creatures living on earth or in the seas.

  Hermes learnt quickly how to find his way around the different parts of this immense underground network. Sometimes his uncle would lend him his helmet of invisibility to play with. Hermes would put it on his head and disappear from sight right away. This game amused him greatly at first. He loved taking his uncle’s servants by surprise or even the shades of the dead, by appearing abruptly exactly when they least expected it. The only one who would never let himself be fooled was the dog Cerberus. He stood watch before his bronze door in order to prevent the dead from going out again. One of his three muzzles always managed to sniff out Hermes before he was able to pull his dragon’s tail. And when that happened, Hermes had good reason to run away as fast as he might…

  The one Hermes loved making jump with fright the most was old Charon, the ferryman of the shades of the dead. Charon would almost make his boat capsize every time. But Hermes only teased him in this manner when his boat was empty. He respected the shadows of the dead far too much to take the risk of making them fall in the water. Each time that new shadows arrived, Hermes was deeply moved. They had searched for so long to find the way to the Underworld, that they arrived there exhausted. Hermes rather began to like the shadows.

  Yet the more the days passed, the more Hermes lost his cheerfulness. He dreamt of seeing again the open air and the sun. Life below the earth was beginning to bore him. He had nothing to occupy himself with and he missed being able to make himself useful. Seeing the young god become a little less talkative each day, Hades understood what the matter was. One morning, he summoned Hermes to the throne room: “My dear nephew, I like listening to your words and to your jingling laughter. Yet you will soon have nothing more to tell me about,” he sighed. “Go to the earth and fill up your bag of stories.” And, so that he could be certain that his nephew would soon come back to see him again, the powerful Hades entrusted him with a mission: “I have noticed well that you like the subjects of my kingdom, the shadows of the dead. I would like you to accompany them on their way here. They often have great difficulty finding their way. You, on the other hand, would know how to point them in the right direction. I am counting on you to speak to them, to make them laugh, and to lead them gently here to my kingdom. And don’t forget to come and give me a hug when you have brought a shadow over.”

  Hermes agreed to this with great joy. He was thrilled to regain the outdoors once more. He felt happy to be able to help the shadows of the dead. Yet above all he was proud of Hades’ confidence in him. From now on, he had a role to perform in the Underworld. And the young man now returned to Olympus charged with this important mission. When Hera saw him arrive, she furiously pursed her lips, but she said nothing. Because Zeus was far too happy to have his son back once more.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 55

  IN WHICH ZEUS HANGS STARS UP IN THE SKY

  Previously: Hermes has left the kingdom of the Underworld. From now on, each time he meets the shadow of a person who has died, he will have to help it find the way to the Underworld. He is glad to be back at Olympus.

  That morning, Zeus was descending Mount Olympus at a brisk pace. He would stop at times, turn around sighing and wait so that Hermes, who idled far behind, could catch up. Hermes was so happy to rediscover the light of day that he could not stop gambolling about even more than usual. His long underground stay had given him an even greater yearning to make the most of life. Zeus pretended to be annoyed, but deep down he understood well his son’s happiness.

  “If only you knew to whom we are going to pay a visit this time, you would hurry a bit more,” said Zeus.

  Now it was Hermes who walked ahead of his father, saying: “Come on, come on, then, faster!”

  This is how they soon reached the foot of a mountain that was well familiar to Hermes: it was the mountain where he had been born. “Mummy!” he cried, overjoyed. And without waiting any longer he flew all the way to the cave where his mother Maia lived.

  Even before entering the coolness of the cave, he recognized his mother’s smell. She was sitting on her heels with her back turned and did not see him enter. Hermes was about to hasten to
her when she got up and turned around. Hermes stopped hard on his tracks, startled: Maia was looking smilingly at a child she was holding in her arms. Who was this baby? Where did it come from? And why was his mother smiling tenderly at it? Hermes was overcome by a surge of jealousy. Maia lifted up her eyes and saw Zeus and Hermes both at the same time. She passed by Hermes’ side, stroked his cheek softly and said: “Good morning, darling,” then she came close to Zeus. She held the baby out to him and murmured:

  “Your son Arcas is doing well. But don’t wake him, he has only just fallen asleep. He cannot easily go back to sleep away from his mother.” Zeus leant towards the little boy and took it clumsily in his arms.

  Hermes felt another violent pang of jealousy. His father and mother busied themselves over this baby as though he, Hermes, no longer existed. He cleared his throat to attract their attention, but they did not even turn their heads around.

  “Thank you, Maia,” said Zeus in a grave voice. “I knew when I trusted you with the safekeeping of this child that you would know how to look after him.”

  “Do you have any news of his mother?” asked Maia softly.

  “Alas,” sighed Zeus, “it is as I had feared. My wife, white-armed Hera, discovered the existence of this baby that I had fathered with the nymph Callisto. Furious, she immediately transformed Callisto into a great bear that has since been living in the woods, like a wild beast.”

  Hermes had heard everything. His jealousy towards this baby disappeared instantly. He was filled with pity for him and looked at him with tenderness. Zeus turned towards him: