The Adventures of Hermes, God of Thieves

by Murielle Szac

  “Our mother’s bones? I have no idea what this means…” murmured Deucalion, surprised.

  Pyrrha had fallen frightened and sobbing on her knees. Deucalion took her in his arms in silence. What did the voice mean? Hermes, who was still hiding behind a pillar so he could observe his protégés, wondered what it was that Zeus wanted from them. Had he not convinced his father to save them?

  The couple remained interlocked in each other’s arms in the shadow of the damp stones. Deucalion was thinking hard. Suddenly, he pulled himself straight and said: “Listen, Pyrrha, our mother, the mother of us all, is the earth, isn’t that so? The earth’s bones are the stones on the ground. Perhaps this is what the gods mean. Come!” He helped his wife to her feet and they both left the temple, hiding their faces. Then they each collected some large stones. After that they began to walk, throwing them behind their backs one by one. They could hear the sound of each stone hitting the ground, but they could not see what was going on, because they were not allowed to turn around. Hermes, for his part, did not miss a single detail of the scene which unfolded under his eyes: each stone thrown by Deucalion as it struck the ground turned into a man! And each stone thrown by Pyrrha became a woman! When they had finished throwing all the stones they had collected, Deucalion and Pyrrha turned around. Behind them, dozens of men and women had emerged, replacing the stones. They felt so happy to see other human beings that they threw themselves into each other’s arms. Equally happy, Hermes watched as this new race of men embraced one another. “Since they have come from stones,” he said, “I hope they shall be strong and hard, so they may endure and survive. I hope that they shall know how to stay together.” Then he left on the tips of his toes. His work was done.

  As he flew towards Olympus, Hermes thought he heard a distant voice cry out: “Thank you, Hermes!” The messenger of the gods recognized the voice of Prometheus and smiled. Hermes did not know, however, that by pleading on behalf of the survival of men, he had also created for himself new enemies among the gods.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 48

  IN WHICH HERMES BECOMES A THIEF AGAIN

  Previously: By throwing stones over their shoulders, Deucalion and Pyrrha have given birth to a new race of men. Hermes is glad to have helped to save humanity.

  Leaning against the parapet of one of the terraces of Olympus, a god and a goddess looked down angrily at what was happening on earth. The god tugged furiously at his long white beard, muttering threats against Hermes:

  “Accursed little messenger! You have contrived to persuade my brother to take the earth out of the water, but just you wait! One day I will find a way to take my revenge.”

  It was Poseidon, the king of the Seas. When the waters of the deluge had engulfed the earth, he had become its master. Yet when, at Zeus’ orders, all the waters had withdrawn back to the seas, the lakes, the rivers and the streams, he had lost everything. The goddess was nervously wringing her beautiful white hands, sighing:

  “So that’s that! Men are once again inhabiting the earth. And once more Zeus will fall in love with the most beautiful women.”

  It was Hera, Zeus’ wife. She had watched with satisfaction the men and especially the women disappear under the waters. And so when the human race had been saved thanks to Hermes, Hera had been deeply disappointed. “Accursed little messenger!” she said through her teeth, “just you wait, one day I will find a way to take my revenge.” Poseidon and Hera were not the best of friends. Yet this time, they decided to join forces and to do everything within their power to take revenge on Hermes. After thinking together for a while, they each went their own way. Poseidon returned to the oceans and Hera mounted her chariot and went for a drive on Mount Olympus.

  Hermes did not suspect a thing. He was flying over the earth and felt his heart bounce with joy. The waters had withdrawn everywhere and already rays of sunshine were drying the waterlogged fields. As he was passing above the ocean, his eye was caught by something shiny on a rock. He swooped down towards the luminous object. Imagine his surprise at discovering that it was Poseidon’s trident! The three-pronged fork had been placed there on an island lost amidst the waves. Hermes had always admired this magnificent trident. Yet how could Poseidon have dropped it there? Hermes went around the little rocky island. It appeared to be uninhabited. A strange noise could be heard, however. It was a sort of muffled, regular grunting. When he discovered the source of the noise, Hermes bit his lips to stop himself from bursting into laughter: it was the snoring of a sleeper and the snorer was his uncle Poseidon, the god of the Seas! In fact, the powerful god was lying in the shadow of a rock and was taking a nap. Hermes definitely did not want to wake up Poseidon. He was sure to be very cross at having been seen in such an undignified state. Hermes tiptoed away.

  He was about to leave the island, when he went past the trident again. The bright glint attracted him to it once more. He placed a trembling hand on it. The metal was vibrating gently. It contained all the power of the king of the Seas. And suddenly, without even thinking, Hermes seized the trident and flew away! He had just stolen from Poseidon the symbol of his power.

  Just then, Hermes heard a neighing and found himself face to face with three magnificent horses. One was as white as snow, the other as black as night and the third was sorrel, like fire. They were pulling a gleaming chariot, beautifully decorated with gilt woodwork. Hermes recognized Hera’s chariot immediately. He had always admired this superb team of horses and he was thrilled finally to be able to get close to them. But how could Hera have abandoned them like that? Hermes began to inspect his surroundings. Some feet away from a cave, he heard a strange and regular sound. He followed the curious noise and came right up to Hera sleeping! This time it was the white-armed goddess who was napping in the shade of a rock… and who herself also snored! Hermes tiptoed away, convinced that Hera would fly into a passion if she knew that he had surprised her in that state.

  The young god was about to leave when his eyes fell on the chariot and its three superb horses. The animals were pawing the ground with their hooves. It was as though they were signalling to him! “Oh, go on, then,” Hermes told himself, “it will only be for a short drive… I will be back before Hera is awake and she will never suspect a thing.” And he leapt onto the gleaming chariot. At once, the horses shot away at a full gallop. Hermes was radiant with happiness. Yet the gods he had just robbed would be quick to react…

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 49

  IN WHICH HERMES IS PROPERLY PUNISHED

  Previously: By helping to save mankind from the deluge, Hermes has made himself two enemies without knowing it: Poseidon and Hera. And now he has just stolen the trident of Poseidon and Hera’s chariot.

  Carried away by the great gallop of Hera’s horses, Hermes had lost all sense of the passage of time. He was drunk with speed. The chariot took him far away from Olympus and the landscapes through which he travelled were stunningly beautiful. The people he met along the way looked at him admiringly for driving such a superb team. Hermes felt proud. From time to time, he would let go of the horses’ reins and he would place one hand on Poseidon’s magnificent trident by his side. Hermes had never felt himself so powerful before.

  Suddenly, as he turned a corner, someone appeared unexpectedly in front of his chariot. His horses reared up and neighed noisily, yet Hermes managed to calm them down. It was Ares himself who stood in the middle of the road, the son of Zeus and Hera.

  “What do you want with me, god of War?” shouted Hermes.

  With arms crossed over his chest and a deprecating smirk on his face, Ares replied: “You are nothing but a pathetic little thief, Hermes and our father Zeus sends me to escort you back to Olympus.”

  Ares’ gloating got on Hermes’ nerves. Yet he kept his rage inside him and tried to keep calm. He had to obey his father’s orders. And Zeus’ anger was likely to be terrible.

  They were already expecting him in the council hall of the gods by
the time Hermes reached Olympus. He entered with his head sunk low, already regretting what he had done. All the gods were gathered around his father and he felt as though he were back on the day of his arrival at the palace. His father’s face was stern. No one was smiling at him, not even his beloved sister Artemis. Not even the gentle Hestia, who was looking at him disapprovingly. Hermes bowed his head again. He understood that by stealing from the other gods in this way, he had committed an unpardonable act. And this time he would have to muster all his eloquence to get out of his tight corner.

  Zeus said first of all: “Thank you, Ares, for having caught this little thief.” At that, Ares went haughtily back to his seat. “And you, miserable son, what have you to say to justify your conduct?” enquired Zeus drily.

  “O god of gods, I know that I must appear inexcusable,” Hermes began, “and yet I thought I was doing the right thing by acting in this way. Poseidon’s trident had been abandoned on a deserted little island when I discovered it. I only took it in order to bring it back to its owner. And the chariot was abandoned too, just left there on a road when I discovered it. I mounted it in order to bring it back to its owner. I never had any intention of stealing either of these things.”

  Hermes watched the effect his words had produced on his father’s face. He saw a twinkle of amusement cross his eyes and he thought that once again he would win the round. Hera too, however, had sensed that Zeus was softening. She did not allow the master of Olympus time to speak; she sprang to her feet and said:

  “That’s enough! You’ll do well to keep your fine talk to yourself, Hermes. I have been robbed and humiliated and I demand reparation. I want him banished from Olympus!” She resumed her seat, and Poseidon rose directly:

  “I too demand justice. This godling has no place among us!” growled the god of the Seas.

  Zeus let out a sigh of exasperation. He had to give due satisfaction to his wife and to his brother, yet he did not wish to be separated for ever from Hermes. Once more, he was trying to displease no one; then, suddenly, he had an idea: “Hermes, my son, you will go and spend three months in the Underworld with your uncle Hades before you may return to the palace.” Hermes’ smile vanished. Tears welled up in his eyes. He was going to have to stay away from his father’s palace for three long months! Hermes looked at Hera and the conniving smiles she was exchanging with Poseidon suddenly made it all clear for him: he had fallen into a trap! The truth was that Hera and Poseidon had prearranged everything in order to separate him from Zeus. They had not been napping when Hermes had come across them, they had only been pretending. And he, poor simpleton that he was, had not been able to resist the temptation to take what did not belong to him. Yet there was no more time for talk. Zeus had risen to his feet. Hermes left the council hall, shuddering at the thought of the kingdom of the Underworld which awaited him.

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 50

  DURING WHICH HERMES MEETS THE MYSTERIOUS CHARON

  Previously: Hermes has been punished for having stolen Hera’s chariot and Poseidon’s trident. He must go and spend three months in the Underworld in his uncle Hades’ house and place himself from now on in his service.

  It was with a heavy heart that Hermes set out towards the Underworld. He had never yet been in the underground kingdom of his uncle Hades, but the idea of being shut up below the earth, where the sun and the air never entered, frightened him. Furthermore, he did not know Hades all that well, yet his stern aspect intimidated him. He had sometimes met him in the palace and he seemed to be a querulous man, mean even. Like everyone else, Hermes did not like the company of the dead. And that was just it: Hades reigned over the kingdom of the dead.

  When he reached the cave which was the entrance to the Underworld, Hermes found himself before a wide, black river overcast by a lingering fog. “I cannot very well swim across it,” murmured the young god. “And it is impossible to fly over it in this fog—one cannot even see the opposite bank.” He was mulling things over in his mind when he heard a strange lapping sound. It was like the sound of slowly approaching oars. Suddenly, a boat emerged from the mists. It was steered by an old man, whose head was covered by a black hood. The old man pressed with a slow and precise motion on the great oar which he used to move the vessel along. Soon, the boat had reached the shore where Hermes stood.

  Just then, a host of shadows began to push and shove in order to get on board the boat. Hermes had not heard them arrive. Where had they come from? Where were they going? Who were they? They seemed exhausted and they pressed on so they might not miss the boarding. The old man scrutinized them one by one. He examined them from head to toe, then he made them turn around. After this check, some were given permission to board the boat while others were firmly thrown back onto the shore. Those who had been refused passage beseeched the old man, hanging themselves from his sleeves, weeping. But nothing seemed capable of changing his mind. Hermes looked at these shadows as they wept and his heart sank, without knowing the reason why. He could understand nothing of the scene unfolding before his eyes, yet it unsettled him in a strange way.

  He remembered that his mission was to gain entrance to the Underworld. So he tried in his turn to climb on board the small boat.

  “My name is Hermes,” he said to the old man, and he stretched out his hand in greeting.

  “And I am Charon, and this black river is the Styx,” muttered the other, who did not take Hermes’ extended hand. “No living person, however, can cross this river. You cannot board now. Wait until you are dead.” And he pushed Hermes away roughly back onto the shore.

  “But I am immortal!” Hermes exclaimed. “I am Hades’ nephew and I have a message for him from his brother Zeus.”

  It was too late. Charon had picked up his oar once more and the boat was already disappearing into the fog, ferrying the shades of the dead, who sat huddled close to one another.

  Hermes sat on the ground to think. Around him, the shadows bewailed their lot.

  “We don’t have any luck,” said one, “if only we had been decently buried, according to the rites, Charon would not have refused us entry to the kingdom of the dead.”

  “The road to this place has been long and difficult to find, I am so tired,” sighed another. “And I shall have to remain on earth for another hundred years before I may board that boat…”

  “A hundred years, during which we shall never be able to find rest,” wept another still, “since the only place of rest for us is the kingdom of Hades. And we don’t have the right to enter it!”

  So these shadows were the souls of the dead. Hermes understood everything now. He knew that it was the duty of human beings to bury their dead with dignity. Failing that, the souls were condemned to roam on earth for a hundred years. Hermes felt great pity for these forsaken souls. He saw them drift slowly apart as each mournfully took their own way.

  Yet he still needed to find a means to cross to the other side of this river. Hermes gathered together some pieces of driftwood which lay scattered on the shore, tied them securely together with a piece of thin rope and in that way fashioned a raft for himself. His clever trick had restored his good humour back to him. The wood floated very well and he was going to be able to cross the black and icy waters of the Styx. But what would he find on the other side?

  To be continued…

  EPISODE 51

  IN WHICH HERMES FINDS HIMSELF FACE TO FACE WITH CERBERUS

  Previously: Hermes is trying to cross the river which leads to the Underworld on a raft.

  The raft of Hermes made slow progress on the black waters of the Styx. The young god was using as an oar his caduceus, the rod on which two serpents were intertwined. The fog lingering about him became thicker and thicker. Soon, he could no longer see the riverbank he had just left. He shuddered. The daylight diminished unrelentingly and an unnerving silence filled the surrounding space. In an effort to reassure himself, Hermes shouted in a loud voice: “Hello! Is there anyone there?” But only t
he echo of his own voice came back to him.

  Suddenly the fog was torn asunder and Hermes saw the opposite bank. When his raft touched the riverfront, Hermes was not at all displeased to be able to jump ashore. But the darkness made it impossible for him to make out what surrounded him. Hermes decided to equip himself with a proper light in order to proceed with his exploring. He knelt on the ground, took out of his bag some dry wood and some stones and began to make a fire, just as he had done on the day he was born. When a small flame leapt up, he fashioned himself a torch and stood up again. He carried the torch in circles around him and was horrified by what he discovered. An enormous dog towered before him, a dog almost as big as he was. And this dog had three heads, three gaping mouths, each revealing a row of dagger-sharp teeth capable of tearing anyone to pieces in an instant! Hermes no longer dared to make a single movement. The monstrous beast took a step towards him. And as it did so, Hermes noticed the enormous dragon’s tail which completed its body. It struck the soil at every step and the noise of the tail crashing on the ground reverberated against the cave walls with a deafening rumble.

  The dog began to bark. Its horrible muzzles were but a hair’s breadth away from Hermes. Suddenly the young god brandished his torch in the direction of the beast and forced it to stop. His position, however, remained delicate. Behind him, the icy waters of the Styx blocked his retreat. And in front of him, the monster threatened to gobble him up in a single mouthful as soon as his torch was extinguished. Hermes tried to talk to the dog. In a shaky voice, he said to it:

  “Good morning, my name is Hermes, and I have come to pay a visit to my uncle Hades, the god of the Underworld.” Yet the dog was barking so loudly that his words were lost in the pandemonium.