Storm in a Cup of Coffee

by Keren Or

Waiting in his father’s office, trembling with nerves, Lucas remembered Sabina’s words. “Your parents will probably be against me. They will try to convince you not to marry me, so stand firm in your position and tell them that you love me.”

  “Hi, Son. What are you doing around here?” Freddy asked his beloved youngest son.

  “Sit down, Dad! I have something serious to tell you. Sabina... is pregnant...”

  “I had no idea you were back together,” replied Freddy, in a calm but serious tone.

  “Yes, Dad... a month ago... And we’re going to get married. I love her.”

  “It’s okay, son. I heard you and I’m very clear. But don’t get married! You’re still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You just finished your degree, you have an open ticket and you are building your own business... Do you understand what that means? That you will have to leave aside all your plans and dreams... And... how well do you really know her?”

  “What do you want me to do, Dad? Abandon her?”

  “No, son. You must accept responsibility and recognize the child. I’m just asking you... not to rush. First have a relationship and get to know each other. There will always be time afterwards to get married.”

  “No! I love her and I’m going to marry her! Sabina is the woman of my life.”

  Freddy knew his son very well. How naive and stubborn his son was, as well as his noble heart. He knew that Lucas would never allow his arm to be twisted and that if he did not want to risk losing his son... the only thing he had left was to support and please him.

  Lucas, being the youngest and only male after four females... always got his own way, especially having on his side his mother, who used to defend and protect him with silk and cotton gloves from the day he had come into this world by accident.

  Leonor used to live and die for him...

  “Lucas... Are you sure it’s yours?” asked his mother, worried, knowing the kind of person her son had become involved with.

  “Yes, I’m sure, Mom!” said Lucas, offended.

  “Then... Sabina will be welcome in our family. We will leave the differences in the past and accept her as one more daughter.”

  In less than two months, Lucas and Sabina got married.

  It was a simple wedding, with few guests and a lot of tension in the air. However, Lucas was calm with his decision and... happily said yes, sentencing his life... forever.

  Sabina, on the other hand, did not even have the decency to wait for the corpse to get cold, so to speak, and along with taking off her dress upon arriving at the hotel, she used the opportunity to shed her false skin too. The honeymoon... turned into hell.

  Sabina’s constant disdain, the screams, the fights that formed part of their day-to-day life and the sexual as well as emotional frigidity, lasted over time.

  Including... before and after Andy’s birth.

  Lucas never caressed the belly where his son was growing and moving, and neither did he accompany his wife even once to the various pregnancy check-ups. And because it was emergency surgery... neither could he participate in the delivery.

  However, for Lucas, worst of all was Sabina’s reaction on seeing her newborn for the first time. Her rejection and indifference towards the innocent little baby was more than Lucas could bear. The crying bothered her, having to change his diapers annoyed her and she preferred to rest... rather than hold him in her arms.

  On leaving the hospital... nothing changed...

  Nevertheless, Lucas kept on trying without losing hope that one day Sabina would come to her senses and grow up. But none of that came to pass.

  No attempt by Lucas succeeded in improving his relationship with Sabina, even though he had completely humbled himself in order to have peaceful communication and a loving home for Andy.

  Finally, after four years of stretching the elastic in slow agony, discovering her infidelities was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

  Lucas left Sabina despite her nervous breakdown, but not before he was sure that Andy would go with him.

  There was no need to fight for the child nor to discuss or negotiate which of the two was going to raise him. For Sabina, in reality... it was a relief.

  However, something certainly did worry her: Who would support her if she was left alone?

  In order to get rid of Sabina once and for all, Lucas was willing to pay her a tidy sum of money, and so... buy his own son.

  With the intention of closing that sad chapter of his life once and for all, and turning over a new page completely, Lucas decided to move as far away as possible from Sabina. And what could be better than the other end of the planet.

  Moreover... a fact that tipped the scales, giving more weight to his extreme decision, was the illness of his mother, Leonor. She had been battling breast cancer for years, and around that time she lost the battle.

  Lucas needed a new beginning to emerge from the depths in which he had drowned. Determined to fight against the current, even when the winds were against him, Lucas began his journey into the unknown, delivering himself… into God’s hands.

  Without fear of the future or of losing... Lucas took a leap of faith...

  In order to...

  Be born again…

  16

  In her hands

  Heart of my soul:

  Six months ago, on a wonderful day like this... God opened for us the door to a love that neither of us expected or dreamed of having again in their life.

  Today, I remember that day, and I give thanks for having had the courage to allow good to enter my life: You.

  Happy Valentine's Day!!!

  From the most enamored of all:

  Lucas

  How much time must have passed and how many times must Eli have dreamed of hearing these words: I love you...

  The fear of confessing his love out loud, thinking that releasing a declaration to the wind would be too compromising, was stronger by far. There was no doubt that Lucas loved her, and in her skin and bones Eli felt it with each kiss and each look in his eyes. But like so many times, she needed... a simultaneous translation... verbally.

  Of course, it was Lucas who did not resist. And on the special day when he managed to express his promise... it was forever...

  “When I fall in love,” said Lucas, looking into her eyes, “it’s for life. Maybe you will stop loving me one day, but I... I won’t. Unless... you hurt me irreparably.”

  The first months of living together were a challenging apprenticeship more than anything else. Eli, Lucas and Andy, each separately and all three together, needed to adapt to the harsh reality: a new life in which the old order, the assumed balance and what used to seem habitual... were unexpectedly disrupted, and the only way to survive and get by was to know and internalize the new rules of the game.

  While Andy was swaying between the real possibility of eventually having a true family and the idyllic but highly unlikely chance that his parents would someday get back together (though he had no vivid or happy memories of such an experience), he had to, at the same time, go through... a new “programming”. If he used to manipulate others as he pleased, especially his father, by lightly touching the delicate strings of his guilty conscience, now there was someone who was setting boundaries. Someone... who was teaching good manners, who would see through his manipulations, who would notice every time he cheated or lied. In short... someone who would read him... like an open book. That “someone” demanded more from him, but at the same time supported him, guided him and stood by him more than anyone else in the formation of his new personality.

  Andy really wanted to make room for another person in his heart, especially because he had to admit that his own mother was not making use of it and was not taking advantage of it. But having to share the time and love of his adored father was not exactly what he liked best. He could not always
see, at his age, that life was giving him a new opportunity.

  Because of that, all of a sudden, the few and false empty promises that Sabina had communicated every now and then were replaced by the concern and dedication of his new mother figure. While his own mother kept him stuck waiting for a measly phone call for his birthday, his “stepmother” organized a big celebration with his schoolmates. While his own mother forgot to wish him luck on his first day of school and was not interested in his school experiences, his “stepmother” accompanied him to every parents’ meeting and school event, and helped him with his homework and any fight that he had with any of his friends. In short, like everything in life... there is always a half-full glass, and for Andy it was more than anything a matter of time... until he would see that half, and get used to it.

  More complicated, however, was the job of Eli and Lucas having to put together the puzzle of their new relationship: they found that the pieces did not always fit together naturally. In general, a child adapts more easily to changes and diversity in life. Adults, on the other hand, stand their ground with each one thinking they are right, or what is worse... thinking that it matters which of the two is right. Only experience and maturity acquired over time teach us that everything in life is negotiable, and of course... leaving pride aside... and reaching an agreement.

  If at first Lucas tried to impose closeness between Eli and Andy, forcing them to love each other without even knowing each other, and achieving just the opposite each time, he finally realized that “by force... nothing is achieved”.

  As Lucas relaxed his efforts, he could see how Eli and Andy were sorting out things between them and relating to each other on their own. After a few sessions and lessons given by Cris, he finally became aware that somewhere in his unconscious... he was looking for a substitute mother for Andy... imposing his own timeline.

  Unfortunately, in the process, the unloading of his high expectations was falling with all its weight on fragile, inexperienced shoulders, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere with little space and great pressure.

  It is not that Lucas was bad. Quite the contrary—his intentions were good. More than anything, he wanted that relationship to work. For his two most loved ones to come together magically and everything to flow with perfection. His worst fear was for either of the two to reject the other, and for the dream of having a normal family, like those that sit around the table to all have dinner together, to disappear...

  On occasion, that fear would tell him—just like a little devil whispering in his ear—that the new living arrangement was harming Andy. Lucas was so accustomed to doing everything for him: thinking for him, trying hard for him, making mistakes, failing and learning for him, that he had not the slightest notion that his over-protectiveness itself was the cause of the real harm.

  And so, consumed by the guilt of no longer being that “unconditional everything” for Andy, he felt he was against his beloved and “needy” son. Yes, Lucas thought he was pushing Andy aside, abandoning him and leaving him alone to face the world, even when others kept assuring him that those were inventions and hallucinations of his own imagination.

  Torn and confused, he tried to do his best, forging bridges and ties to unite all three.

  And in the midst of all that, Eli found herself forced to assimilate the fact that, overnight, life as she knew it had ceased to exist. Freedom, spontaneity and privacy, which until then used to form part of her human rights... became rare privileges. Suddenly she could no longer walk around the house wearing just a shirt or underwear, nor could she wait for her man in bed with candles, romantic music or at least wearing... her brand new baby doll. Kisses, hugs and intimacy obviously had to wait for a suitable time. They could not be expressed spontaneously through a simple look, a feeling coming out of the blue or a basic desire born out of love. Only behind closed doors and at the end of the day did Eli manage to get her time and place, although that too... with some restrictions to everything working well and on there being no interruptions...

  More than once they had to halt a passionate night, a comforting embrace or a simple tempting kiss. It was impossible to ignore Andy’s voice crying from his bed: “I’m thirsty!” or “There are monsters in my room!” or “It hurts here, it hurts there” or “I’m not sleepy...” And, honestly, this child had no shortage of pretexts.

  Be that as it may, having to stop was frustrating and painful. When Lucas came back to bed, the moment had passed or Eli simply... would be sleeping. The possibility of being able to make a quick, spontaneous decision, such as picking any bag, throwing in a few clothes and escaping from the routine for a weekend... no longer existed either. Not to mention making love while vacationing in a hotel, having the child as a spy, sleeping or maybe pretending to be... on the couch at the side.

  In circumstances like these, not even Eli functioned as she should. However, for Lucas to request another room, even if it was a connecting one... was unimaginable for him, and leaving Andy in the care of other people? That was pure cruelty! An inconceivable and logically unacceptable idea.

  Several arguments arose about the lack of a space dedicated to the two of them alone. Unfortunately... since Lucas’s divorce was not a common or best case one, where the custody of the child is shared, Eli had no choice but to accept things just as they were. Besides, with Lucas’s family on the other side of the globe, she had no choice but to accept the situation!

  And as if all that was not enough, during that same time, Lucas received an additional blow when his dear neighbor and friend across the street, who used to invite Andy, died suddenly of a heart attack. The neighbor’s wife, who could not deal with the sadness and loneliness, moved into the home of one of her sons, and the only family and support Lucas felt he had... disappeared in a flash... never to return.

  No doubt those were complicated times with many obstacles as Eli, Lucas and Andy tried, each on their own and the three of them as a unit, to pull in the reins, to maintain control and to adjust so that everything would flow better.

  Sitting alone in Cris’s office one day, Eli lamented and complained about her many “misfortunes.” Cris was the only one with whom Eli could actually speak comfortably and honestly about everything she was going through and feeling in the different facets of her relationship with Lucas. People on the outside normally assumed the right to express their opinion, judge and criticize from their peaceful and safe pulpit, unable to put themselves in her place and to see how it felt to be in her shoes. At least... those closest to her understood her perfectly, although often without meaning to they discouraged her by admitting that they would not have been able to bear being in her situation for a single minute and advising her to leave Lucas to find a less complicated life.

  Cris... simply listened to her and then guided her, clarifying her dilemmas and offering different solutions that could alleviate the process.

  One of his many suggestions was to pay someone to take care of Andy at least once a week. It would be a not insignificant expense, but still an excellent investment that would provide the quality time that Eli and Lucas... needed so much. Another idea was to develop a new habit for the child to play in his own room instead of being glued to the living room couch, hypnotized in front of the television—a habit to which Eli could not adapt, since it prevented her from talking there with her friends, forcing her to lock herself in her room to obtain a minimum of privacy.

  Luckily, that approach had come from Cris, because if not... Lucas would have assumed that it was another of Eli’s ideas against his son.

  One might wonder why Eli stayed with Lucas, having so many obstacles? Even her lifelong friends were affected, distancing themselves from her, unaware that her options and priorities had changed significantly. Still enjoying the single life, Valeria and Nicole found it difficult to relate to her new job as a mother, ignoring the fact that Eli now had to divide herself into more pieces, giving them less time t
han they were accustomed to. In their adventurous, unattached lives, Eli... no longer belonged; and little by little her “faithful” friends... also stopped calling her.

  For another totally different reason, Jessi could not give her support either, after meeting her soul mate on a study trip and, consequently, staying to live permanently abroad.

  Disappointed and alone, Eli stopped insisting her friends visit her and she concentrated on Lucas... and on her complicated and challenging life.

  So then, returning to the question... why so much effort?

  The reason is simple...

  Because for Eli, having Lucas... was having it all.

  Although it is true that she was young and with a little patience she would probably have found another other half, it is also true that Lucas’s boundless love for her compensated for each one of the steep cliffs she had to cross, not omitting something fundamental: that with him Eli felt capable of conquering... even the unconquerable. Besides, whenever she was physically away from Lucas, Eli always felt a void. Almost... as if they had taken out one of her organs, and she had to function in the meantime without it. And as soon as Lucas came close to her, his essence flooded her immediately, making her feel complete, secure and protected in his arms... again.

  “Why doesn’t he ask me to marry him?” said Eli to Cris, accepting the handkerchief he offered her automatically. “I have no doubt that we love each other immensely, and despite the difficulties, we have something unique and special,” she added, blowing her nose and drying her tears. “With each passing day, we are managing to peacefully solve more problems, learning to live together as a family, to understand and listen. We never were and never will be a normal couple... you know... like those that mature and grow together before getting married and having children. And in fact... we already have one... don’t we? So, if that’s the case... what’s the point of waiting? Why is it that as soon as I just mention the subject... Lucas shuts down?”