Storm in a Cup of Coffee

by Keren Or

  Going to their seafront property for the weekend, and being generous as always, they took the initiative to invite Andy as well. And that’s how Lucas got... his long hoped for night...

  She and he... all alone...

  Lucas was nervous as if it were his first time. He had spent so much time in that life in which he could think only of himself, that even in these circumstances, knowing that his son would be in good hands and having fun, he was feeling guilt and remorse. It was not easy to start a new relationship. Much less so... carrying the load being all by himself.

  The woman who had greedily sought to bring an innocent baby into the world, using it as a step up on the ladder to wealth, existed somewhere on the planet, but no one knew where. It seemed that the earth had swallowed her up. She stopped calling, Andy stopped asking and Lucas stopped dreaming that one day... she would assume her role as a mother.

  Making a great effort, overcoming his own limitations, Lucas blocked his past and allowed someone, finally, to enter his space, and that someone... was Eli.

  After enjoying the exquisite dinner that they prepared, the two kitchen lovers continued talking in the candlelight a while longer. On their own, each was thinking silently about what would be the opportune moment to continue with the most interesting and anticipated part of the night, until finally Lucas... stopped thinking...

  Taking her by the hand, he led her straight into his simple bedroom, slowly laying her down on his “majestic” bed—or rather, a mattress resting on cardboard boxes containing mementos and books.

  Embracing him, Eli dug her nails into his back, as if wanting to anchor herself to his body and in one go... become filled with him. After months of waiting, she was more than ready... and his breath wrapped around her... ready to give in.

  Everything indicated... that this would be a perfect night.

  But perfection... does not exist.

  In the middle of the scene, suddenly the stage curtain came down, since the main protagonist of the night had left...

  “What’s happening?” asked Eli.

  “I can’t...,” replied Lucas, turning his back to Eli as he sat on the edge of the bed.

  “I don’t understand... Did I do something wrong?”

  “I just can’t,” repeated Lucas. “I’m too nervous, anxious... I don’t know but... Eli, please don’t think it has anything to do with you. Sometimes it happens to me…”

  Eli fell silent. She felt hurt and rejected, thinking that perhaps she was not attractive to him or he did not like her as much... as he said.

  Never before had she gone through a situation like that, and the only time she might have experienced it, she decided to quit before it came to what eventually happened with Lucas. That was one of her many attempts to find love after Sebastian, and were it not for that bitter fact, warning her of a possibly embarrassing situation, they would probably have gotten together.

  Eli had met that man in a nightclub. She was looking at him and he was looking at her, but... like most men... he was not making the first move. Luckily for him, Eli sent him her telephone number through a messenger and the shy long-haired young man overcame his shyness and called her the following day. After going out on dates a few times... the good-looking young man informed her of his problems in bed. He thought he was doing the right thing, wanting to be honest with her from the beginning so as not to hurt her. But he succeeded instead… in driving her away. For although he explained to Eli that his problem was emotional and not physical, and that it had nothing to do with her,... the mere idea every time they kissed or hugged made her crazy. “I feel it? I don’t feel it… I feel it? I don’t feel it...” And the spark... gradually died.

  Anyway... she did not leave him immediately. The fear of hurting him and perhaps, who knows, aggravating his situation, made her delay the end: Eli went on only a couple more dates, feeling haunted... And she broke up with him, apologizing that she simply... could not fall in love with him.

  Whereas now, with Lucas... it was too late, since Eli was already... hopelessly in love. Mixed feelings and frustration took hold of her, but at the same time, Lucas’s appearance aroused her compassion...

  Moving closer carefully and without asking for further explanation, Eli simply embraced him.

  The episode left her confused and with a big question mark floating over her head, but of one thing... she was still certain: she loved Lucas with all her soul, and as long as they stayed together and that love was reciprocated, everything else... would have a solution.

  Talking about insignificant issues, Eli tried to divert sexual thoughts as far as possible from that bedroom. And after a while, exhausted emotionally, both of them, saddened, fell asleep.

  The next morning, neither of them dared mention the subject. Each for their part pretended to be okay, but inside... the anguish was throbbing. Just as darkness fell, while they were watching a movie curled up on the couch, Lucas regained his lost confidence... And holding Eli in his arms, he began to kiss her neck softly and tenderly. One kiss brought another, and one thing... led to the next...

  And this time... love won...

  Eli, who was not accustomed to a man being so concerned about her feelings, ended up crying and trembling with emotion. Her last memory was of Sebastian... the egocentric man who had at no time been able to dedicate himself to someone other than himself, and much less... to put her first.

  On the other hand, Lucas was all that Eli had been looking for in a man. Someone who would hold her, protect her and keep her... like a diamond.

  Every passing day, the love between them grew... But with one difficulty: instead of accepting the other as they were, giving time for the natural processes of life, each tried to impose their desires and beliefs, not realizing that they needed help. Lucas was looking for a mother for his son, while Eli was looking to have her own space. She could not stand feeling that she would always be in second place, after Andy, and he... could not stand her lack of understanding: children are incomparable. His argument was that pears and apples are not to be compared, although both look like they are from the same species.

  For Eli, in both cases it was about love, and so it was possible to compare relationships; while Lucas tried to say that his love for them was not being measured on the same scale.

  But not everything was related to the little boy. Lucas by himself was bringing enough drama, distrusting everything for no reason and allowing his past to come in between and distort the reality of their new relationship: whether Eli was cheating on him, whether she checked his drawers when he was not there, whether her tears were only manipulation, whether she really felt love for him or a constant disappointment...

  In reality... Eli felt both things...

  At the same time, she was not free from sin. She turned each ant into an elephant and enlarged each puddle to the size of a tsunami, creating a situation in which it was almost impossible to communicate. Eli did not know how to stop, nor did she have the tools to deal with so many problems. So the lack of consideration on Lucas’s part, and the fact that he could not put himself in her shoes and see life from another angle that was not his, ended up stifling her.

  Certain and firm in their positions, they both believed they were right. Eli would cry and Lucas would lock himself up... until they reached the point where they wondered if it was really worthwhile to stay together, try hard and fight for that love.

  Life became a sea of conflicts; nonetheless, what they felt for each other... was stronger than they wanted to admit.

  And that was how... despite the fights, the disagreements and the continuous confrontations, Eli and Lucas decided that the time had come to consolidate the relationship, taking a step forward: to live together.

  It was not that they were masochists, but... when they were not fighting... they really loved each other.

  Eli took her belongings again and moved in
to the apartment where Lucas and Andy lived. That way they would cause the least amount of changes for the little boy, and they assumed that everything would be easier.

  For both, it was their third significant relationship, and as they say, “third time’s the charm.”

  Around that time, they began couples therapy with Cris, in whom Eli had a lot of confidence. With him, they looked for ways to mediate their differences. In addition, they occasionally visited Lena. She gave them advice, but above all she provided them with energy and hope to find each other again.

  Eli had to learn to manage her anger and her fears about being abandoned, as well as to be more tolerant and patient about the time Lucas needed. It was not easy for him to replace the old memories and the tough experiences caused by years of lies, deceit and emotional coldness. It took a long and hard process to peel off the layers of wounds and scars that were still open and exposed.

  Nevertheless, the two were committed and willing to do whatever was necessary to go on.

  For Eli, it was a shocking experience to hear Lucas’s stories as he revealed them one by one, sitting beside her on the sofa in Cris’s office. He began by telling his story from the beginning, transporting himself back to the day his life changed completely when he met Sabina.

  Coming out of a family event held at a prestigious hotel, he saw her for the first time standing next to his friends, who were already waiting for him to go out for drinks somewhere. For Lucas... it was love at first sight.

  By chance, or maybe not... a month earlier, Lucas had read a book that talked about finding one’s soul mate, and therefore... when he felt the arrow piercing his heart and a strange and inexplicable attraction, he ended up convincing himself that she... could be his soul mate, as he had read in his spiritual book.

  The night turned into a month. And Sabina, who came from far away during vacations, would sleep over at the house of a friend who, what a coincidence... was a friend of Lucas’s.

  At first he was dazzled by her extroverted personality and her inexhaustible energy. Sabina was twenty, she was a bit tall, rather thin, simple-looking, but disguised as a sophisticated high-society young woman. She did not have such a pretty face, but her long black curls and blue eyes stunned him. At that time, Lucas was twenty-three and was about to begin his final year at university. Life, in his immature and naive eyes, seemed like... an amusement park.

  However, he did not yet realize that he was steps away from embarking on a long and grueling roller coaster ride...

  The days passed and suddenly Sabina began to show less attractive aspects of her complex personality. Her happy, vibrant way of being was dying, giving life to a new entity. Thus, the woman who had appeared to be vivacious but peaceful, smiling and sweet, turned out to be controlling, manipulative, haughty and tough. They could have thirty fights a day without Lucas understanding the reason for even two or three. This was an experience he had never had before.

  His five-year relationship, prior to the one with Sabina, passed from beginning to end over calm waters. They never argued, much less fight, and she had consistently treated him with gentleness and affection. However, even with how perfect and idyllic the relationship seemed to be, the two mutually decided to separate because of differences of opinion. Or rather, of values... Hers was to go after a career, business and money, while his were on the road to spiritual growth.

  The separation was settled courteously and peacefully, but Lucas also lamented and suffered an entire year because of her absence. Therefore, meeting Sabina... was a holy remedy to overcome the pain. Lucas wanted and was seeking to fall in love again. To admit to having failed after such a short time and to fall once again in the hands of loneliness were situations that made the decision to break up with Sabina difficult.

  And she knew it.

  Every time Lucas tried to leave, she would arrange to “reverse the charge,” and use tears and then sex as her faithful tools. She always succeeded, and he... would stay with her.

  Finally... after six months of prolonging the inevitable, and in spite of the dramatic crying scenes acted out by Sabina, Lucas left her. He spent almost a year afterwards not seeing her. On no account did Lucas want to answer her repeated calls, and whenever he could, he avoided meeting her in person. That choice was made after realizing that the few times that he did not avoid her... Sabina made sure they ended up in bed. It was a problem for him, because he kept thinking about her... In spite of everything, he had fallen in love with her.

  Lucas really tried hard to forget Sabina. He went out with women introduced to him by his friends, others he met at the university or even some who used to wait for the bus at the same bus stop he did. On one occasion, he even started an exciting relationship with a divorcee ten years his senior. She became excited with him, attracted by his appearance, his company and his youth, and he... found her beautiful. It was true that he felt a little threatened by her, but he flowed with her ideas and with the pride that it gave him to walk beside her with everyone looking at him.

  After a month, the qualities of the young Lucas were not enough for the divorcee and the age difference did its thing... Without any compassion, she left him from one day to the next, with a broken heart.

  Lucas felt devastated, stunned and confused, but that... was nothing compared to what was to come...

  How strange that my sister is inviting me to her house, thought Lucas while he finished getting dressed. She never has time with her studies, the children, work... What could she want to talk to me about? And what could she have been referring to when she said she has a surprise to give me?

  It was eight thirty at night when he arrived at his older sister’s house. The children were already asleep and, apart from the silence, there was... Sabina!

  Dressed up, perfumed, wearing makeup and radiant, Sabina received Lucas with a huge, sweet smile:

  “So you were the surprise?” asked Lucas, serious and annoyed.

  “Don’t you like it?” answered Sabina, keeping the same smile.

  “I don’t like you using my family to get to me!” he said, trying to be assertive this time.

  “Can we go out to have coffee and talk? I promise I just want to talk to you.”

  Believing that he knew better all her games and manipulations, Lucas agreed.

  Sabina confessed to him that she had started psychological treatment and that she was no longer the same person as before.

  The way she said things and the inner peace she presented managed to get through the armor protecting his already broken heart. By the end of the night, she was in control again, and he... was love-struck, blindly confident and completely... in love.

  And of course, as usual... they ended up in bed...

  “Are you sure?” asked Lucas a second time while she silenced him with a kiss.

  “Completely!” answered Sabina, taking a breath between one kiss and the next.

  Lucas was surrendered at her feet... completely subject to her dominion and promises.

  With his mind he tried to stop himself, but his body followed its impulses and the rest... is history...

  A month after getting back together and living a paradisiacal relationship, Lucas thought he had reached the Promised Land, unaware of the fact that his ship, sailing really close to the pier, was about to run aground and sink...

  “I need to see you,” Sabina said at the other end of the line.

  “I can’t right now, we’re rehearsing with the band,” replied Lucas as the others continued playing.

  “It’s important,” she insisted.

  “Could it wait until tomorrow? The whole group is together, and after the rehearsal we’ll stay to finish the last details of the trip. It’s coming up shortly, and I’d like to participate...”

  “I prefer it to be today... Come whenever you want... We need to talk!”

  Lucas was intrigued,
but in his worst nightmares he could not have imagined the surprise Sabina had in store for him:

  “Tell me... what was so urgent that it couldn’t wait?” he asked, sitting down on her bed at midnight.

  “I hope you won’t be mad with me...,” replied Sabina, playing the role of victim. “I’m pregnant...”

  Silence surrounded him.

  “Please... say something! Anything!” pleaded Sabina.

  Although his feelings were numb... he was still breathing and blinking, which meant... that he was still alive. His soul wanted to escape, to get to take off on his hoped-for trip, but his thoughts were running from side to side, tying him to his new and unexpected reality.

  This is not happening to me..., an inner voice was telling him. What will my parents say? They’re going to kill me...

  What will happen with my trip? And my friends? We’ve been planning it for so long...

  Sabina changed... She’s not the same as before... I love her... And she has shown me this month that she’s perfect for me...

  Although it seemed to last forever, the introspection actually lasted only a few seconds and then... Lucas looked up.

  “How did this happen, Sabina?” he was seeking some comfort in her explanation.

  “I don’t know,” replied Innocence. “What will we do, Lucas?” she asked rhetorically, throwing herself on the ground and crying oceans of tears.

  “We’ll get married. I’ll speak to my parents tomorrow,” said Lucas impulsively, but from Sabina’s point of view… correctly.