by Lisa Ireland
She’d got lucky with Josh. They’d met when she was at her prime. She’d been living with a few others, travelling really, for a few months after she’d lost her job when the pub she’d been working at in Toowoomba closed down. Just like all the places she’d lived before, she’d grown tired of Toowoomba. There was nothing to keep her there. No family, no love, and suddenly no job. She was ready for somewhere new when a group of British backpackers she’d known from the pub invited her to join them on their travels. They were making their way down south via the coast. She’d planned to go as far as Coffs, or maybe Port Macquarie, and look for work there. They had all been camping here in Emerald River for a few weeks when she saw the sign up in the IGA window for childcare assistants. She’d done her certificate a few years back under a government scheme to help the unemployed but had never landed herself a job. Seeing the ad in the window there felt like a sign and when her application was successful she was sure it was destiny.
A couple of weeks later she met Josh in the caravan park. She was tanned and thin, thanks to low funds and plenty of hours in the sun. For the first time in ages she felt good about herself, so when Josh had asked if he could share the only table outside the caravan park’s kiosk, she’d smiled in what she hoped was a sultry fashion and said, ‘Be my guest.’ Weeks later, he’d rolled over in bed and confessed that he’d already eaten lunch that day but when he saw her sitting there alone he was so compelled to be near her, he’d gone inside and ordered a hamburger so he’d have a legitimate excuse. He’d been mesmerised by her, he said, and for the first time since she was a child she felt cherished. It felt like everything was finally going to be okay.
Ironic, really, that he’d met her replacement in much the same way. She wondered what Nikki looked like. Had Josh replaced her with a younger, slimmer version of herself?
Had he left because she wasn’t that carefree slender woman anymore? Now she was an overweight mother of one. Why would any man want her?
She looked at the timetable again and rolled her eyes. What was she? A sixteen-year-old school girl? Ben was a friendly guy but she didn’t want her little crush to cause any awkwardness when she was at the gym. Life Fit was fun, and hopefully her ticket to a new, improved body, and maybe even a new improved life.
She pulled a pen out of the junk drawer and carefully circled all the sessions with Tia’s name against them.
Chapter Sixteen
FAT CHAT | Friday Dec. 18 2015 | Jewels
Hi everyone,
Just thought I’d pop in here while I had the chance. We’re catering a huge corporate Christmas party this weekend so I’m going to be AWOL for a few days.
How are you all?
Kat, seems like every time you post these days you’re just about to work out. You must be super fit by now! Next time we meet up I won’t be able to keep up with you. Please reassure me you’re not going to insist we all go rock climbing with you, or jogging or something equally hideous. Speaking of our next get-together, we really should start planning something now if we want to have another meet-up next year. It’s nearly Christmas already and before you know it the New Year will be here. Time to drag out your calendars, girls, and to start saving. Kat, we probably should come up your way next time, so you and Ami don’t have to travel so far. Maybe we can plan something for the cooler months so us southerners can warm our pale skin in the northern sun.
Ellie, how are you, my love? It must be just about holiday time for you and your girl. I’ll bet you’re looking forward to some time off together. How’s the packing going for your big trip back home? I would so love to have a white Christmas. Do you think it will snow in London while you’re there?
Mezz, where are you? We haven’t heard from you for ages. What’s going on there? I’m starting to worry about you.
I don’t really have any big news to report. All I seem to do is work. Oh, and practise baby making! Seeing as all the fertility tests I’ve had so far have come back normal, there’s no harm in trying, right? I know the doctor thinks it won’t happen until I lose weight, but who knows? Sometimes miracles happen.
Speaking of losing weight, I went to see the dietitian last week and she gave me two options, neither of which is very good! The first one consists of rabbit food (much like the WON program only less interesting if you can imagine that!). The second option is these shake things you buy at the chemist. They taste freakin’ awful, but the lady at the chemist said you get used to them. So I’m going with option two for now, but I have no idea how long I’ll last. I gave the shakes a trial run earlier in the week and apart from tasting like blended cardboard they also made me fart like you wouldn’t believe. Matt reckons he’s going to have to buy a gas mask if I decide to go with this option for any length of time! As it turns out Sofia’s friend has just lost a huge amount of weight (well, according to Sofia. It’s probably five kilos. You know how these skinny bitches think they’re obese if they can’t get back into their size eight jeans by the time their babies are three months old . . .). Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Anyhoo, this friend has lost her weight doing some sort of cleansing program and taking vitamins or something. Sofia says she looks amazing and is full of energy. She reckons I should give it a try. Apparently you can’t buy the product in shops, you have to get them directly from a consultant. I don’t know, sounds a bit dodgy to me, but this girl is selling the stuff. I think she’s trying to make enough money so she doesn’t have to go back to work. I told Sofia I’d have a talk to her, so we’re doing coffee after her Mothers’ Group next week.
Wow, I have really blathered on enough. My oven timer has just pinged at me, so I’d better hop off here.
Love to you all,
Jewels xox
FAT CHAT | Friday Dec. 18 2015 | Kat
LOL, Jewels, I’m just heading out to my gym now. I’m loving it! It’s hard work but it’s fun too. I’ve met so many nice people. It’s funny, you know, I’m chatting to people that I’ve always assumed wouldn’t give me the time of day. There are a few really fit mums from the childcare centre I work in who are members too. I always thought they were looking down their noses at me because of my size, but they’ve all been really friendly. Now I realise I was probably sending out negative vibes before because of my lack of self-confidence. Does that make sense?
I’m feeling so great about myself these days. It’s not just the weight loss (although that’s awesome. I’ve lost almost fifteen kilos since I started WON now) but I’m the fittest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m eating really well now, thanks to the nutritional advice of the trainers at the gym. Tia, one of the coaches, eats a full Paleo diet and she’s encouraging me to adopt it too. It’s actually not too bad once you get your head around it. At the moment I’m focusing on making sure my diet is free of sugar (Tia says the stuff is poison!), eating lots of lean protein and fresh veggies. Maybe you should give this a go instead of the horrible shakes, Jewels? Honestly, I feel really good, apart from being a bit tired. I guess that’s unavoidable when I’m a working single parent, and these days I even have a bit of a social life!
Take tonight for instance, I’m off for dinner with a group from the gym. Tia is coming and Ben, one of the other instructors, and also Miranda, another gym member. She’s got a little boy, Charlie, who’s a bit older than Ami. Miranda and I have started catching up sometimes on the weekends so the kids can have a play. Her husband, Grant, is really lovely too, but they’re farmers and he’s often quite busy so she’s always glad to have a bit of extra company.
Anyway, better get off to the gym now or I won’t have time to work out before I start my shift.
Love to you all,
Kat xxx
FAT CHAT | Saturday Dec. 19 2015 | Ellie
Hi everyone. Taking time out from packing to post here. We fly out tomorrow and I’m not sure when I’ll get a chance to post again. I hate posting with Jenn nearby. Not really sure why! I g
uess because this blog is my private little space and I don’t want her sticking her nose in. Is that weird? I don’t know . . .
I’m getting a bit nervous about the whole family Christmas thing now. Jenn’s not spent much time with my family before, so I’m not sure how that’s going to go. Mum was adamant that we come stay with her, but Jenn was horrified at the idea of staying with my parents for two whole weeks. So we’ve reached a bit of a compromise. We leave here tomorrow for Dubai. I’ve booked two nights in a nice hotel there, so we don’t fly into London until Wednesday. My parents are insisting on picking us up at Heathrow, which is bound to be a debacle, but there was nothing I could do to dissuade them. We’ll stay with them until Boxing Day, which is only three nights, so hopefully things don’t go too pear-shaped in that short time. Christmas Eve will be a bit tricky, I think, because my brother and his family will be staying there too, so it’ll be a tight squeeze. Jenn can be a bit intolerant when she feels under pressure, so I’m hoping it all goes okay!
I’m also a bit worried about my family’s reaction when they see me in the flesh. I’ve put on so much weight since they last saw me. Even though I’ve managed to lose a few kilos over the past few months I’m still way bigger than the last time they saw me. They’ve seen me on Skype of course, but mainly just my face. And I’m always quite selective about the photos I share of myself. But once I get off that plane there’ll be nowhere to hide. Eek!
Kat, sounds like you are on top of the world. I really admire the way you’ve picked yourself up and thrown yourself into living again. Good on you! And you’ve inspired me to start exercising more regularly. I’ve signed up to start a yoga class in the new year. I’ve always wanted to try yoga, but when I lived in London I never seemed to have the time. Now I’ve got plenty of time but I’ve been too embarrassed because of my size. After reading all your positive posts about exercise I decided I wasn’t going to let my size hold me back anymore, so thanks for that.
Jewels, look after yourself now, won’t you? I know the doctor said you had to lose weight but don’t go doing anything silly. We all know crash dieting doesn’t work. I agree with you that the program your sister’s friend is selling sounds dodgy. Maybe you’d be better off to find a way to incorporate some exercise into your week?
Mezz, what’s going on with you? You haven’t logged on here for over a week at least. We miss you!
Right, that’s me over and out for a few days.
Ellie x
★
Ellie looked up at the ‘fasten seatbelts’ sign and her gut clenched. In twenty minutes or so they’d be disembarking and she’d be seeing her parents for the first time in nearly two years. They’d be pleased to see her, she knew that, but Mum wasn’t stupid. She’d look at Ellie’s waistline and know something was up. Hopefully she’d have the good sense to keep her thoughts to herself, at least when Jenn was in earshot.
And then there was Jenn.
Ellie’s family weren’t the most cultured or intellectual bunch on the planet. Dad still referred to her job as ‘that arty-farty thing you do’ and the whole clan thought that politicians were all the same, total crooks out to get their hands on the working man’s money. That sort of thing went down a treat with Jenn. Hopefully everyone would be on their best behaviour for her sake, although the chances of that lasting three days were pretty slim.
She nudged Jenn, who was still soundly sleeping.
Jenn half opened her eyes. ‘What?’
‘You need to put your seat upright. We’re landing.’
‘Really? Wow, that went fast. Better than the last flight. I don’t know how I let you talk me into flying in cattle class.’
‘I know you’re used to sitting up the pointy end, but I can’t afford that on my wage.’
Jenn took her hand and gently squeezed it. ‘Actually you can, you’re just overly careful with your money. You never want to spend any of your savings on anything remotely luxurious.’
Jenn’s words stung. She made it sound as if Ellie was a complete miser, which was absolutely not true. She simply wanted to make sure that when the time came for the two of them to purchase a home, she would be able to make a decent contribution. ‘That’s not true. I buy lots of nice things. I just don’t see the point of wasting money on something when there’s a perfectly good alternative that’s half the price.’
Jenn laughed. ‘Okay, no need to get your knickers in a knot. Besides, you know I would have happily paid for both our tickets. I’m seriously thinking about upgrading our flights home. That trip to Dubai was horrendous.’
Ellie just shrugged. Jenn would do what Jenn wanted in the end. There really wasn’t anything to say. The flight to Dubai might have been awful but once they’d slept and recovered a bit, having some time alone together – without Jenn’s phone constantly buzzing – had been wonderful. They’d pretty much stayed in their hotel the whole time. Their room was enormous. It was so luxurious Ellie wanted to make the most of every minute there, and for once Jenn didn’t argue.
The next three nights were unfortunately going to be at the other end of the spectrum.
Ellie heard her mother calling her name well before she saw her. Sandra Russell was not a big woman but she definitely had a good-sized set of lungs. ‘Ellie, Jenn! Over here,’ she called.
Ellie could see a mass of red, white and blue balloons waving in the distance. Surely not? Before she’d had a chance to warn Jenn, the balloons were upon them and her mother was wailing and hugging her at the same time.
Eventually Sandra composed herself enough to hand over the balloons and move on to poor Jenn. ‘Well, come on then, Jenn love, don’t be shy. Give us a hug. We’re family now after all.’
‘Mum, I don’t think . . .’ Ellie started. But it was too late. Jenn was now wrapped in her mother’s arms. Could this be any more embarrassing? ‘Okay, Mum, I think we need to keep moving. We’re blocking the exit. Where’s Dad?’
‘Here I am, Ellie girl.’
Ellie turned to see her dad coming towards them waving two Union Jack flags. ‘Welcome to Britain, Jenn,’ he said and handed her one of the flags.
Please earth, open up and swallow me whole now.
For the remainder of the afternoon Ellie see-sawed between being overjoyed at having all the loves of her life in one place, and dismayed at the awkwardness between them. The very minute they’d cleared the last dinner plate from the table she excused herself saying she was exhausted from the trip. Jenn followed suit and soon they found themselves tucked up on a lumpy double-bed mattress on the floor of the guest room – otherwise known as the box room. Ellie hated to think about how long it must have taken her parents to clear this room out in preparation for her visit. Her old bedroom had bunks in it for the grandchildren and her brother Stephen’s room had been commandeered for Mum’s sewing.
‘Ow,’ Jenn groaned as she rolled over in an attempt to find a comfortable spot. ‘Three nights on this thing and I’ll be crippled.’
‘We could have had the bunks, but Mum was dead keen for us to share a bed. It’s her way of showing you how terribly progressive she and Dad are.’
Jenn laughed. ‘Your dad’s so progressive he thinks I don’t speak English. Did you notice how carefully he’s explaining everything to me? Have you been pulling his leg and telling him we speak “Australian” at home?’
‘They know about Australia. They’ve been watching Neighbours for years.’
‘Well, what’s up with him then? Does he think I’m slow? Oh . . .’
Ellie’s heart sank as she watched the realisation dawn on Jenn’s face.
‘It’s the Chinese thing, isn’t it? He thinks I’m some sort of peasant. A good-for-nothing slanty-eyes.’
Ellie winced. Of course her father didn’t think that. Not about Jenn at least. Jenn was her partner and that was good enough for Dad. Unfortunately he wasn’t as magnanimous towards
‘foreigners’ he didn’t personally know. Dad wasn’t a true bigot. Face to face he’d give anyone a fair go, but he liked to criticise from afar and could often be heard agreeing with stupid, right-wing commentators concerned that Britain was being overrun with migrants. Ellie had hoped that he’d refrain from such antics in Jenn’s company, and to be fair, so far he had. But it seemed even on his best behaviour he didn’t meet Jenn’s standard for an acceptable human being.
Suddenly Ellie felt affronted on her parents’ behalf. They’d bent over backwards to welcome Jenn, and in return she’d been barely civil to them. She contributed very little to the conversation in the car. Granted it was hard to get a word in edgeways the way Mum was prattling on, but she hadn’t made much of an effort. She’d poked at her beef wellington with a fork, eaten very little and refused to even try the bread and butter pudding Mum had made especially for her. Now she was complaining about the bed and insinuating Ellie’s dad was some sort of village idiot.