The Purple Land

by W. H. Hudson

  CHAPTER XI

  I walked thoughtfully back, because, after rendering that unimportantservice to Marcos, I began to experience sundry qualms of conscienceand inward questionings concerning the strict morality of the wholeproceeding. Allowing that I had done something very kind, charitable,and altogether praiseworthy in getting the poor fellow's unfortunatefeet out of the stocks, did all that justify the cajolery I hadpractised to attain my object? Or, to put it briefly in the old familiarway: Does the end sanctify the means? Assuredly it does in some cases,very easy to be imagined. Let us suppose that I have a beloved friend,an ailing person of a nervous, delicate organisation, who has taken itinto his poor cracked brains that he is going to expire at the stroke oftwelve on a given night. Without consulting the authorities on ethicalquestions, I should, in such a case, flit about his room secretlymanipulating his timepieces, till I had advanced them a whole hour, andthen, just before the stroke of midnight, triumphantly produce my watchand inform him that death had failed to keep the appointment. Such anacted lie as that would weigh nothing on the conscience of any man. Thefact of the matter is, the circumstances must always be considered andevery case judged on its own particular merits. Now, this affair ofgetting the key was not one for me to judge, since Ihad been a chiefactor in it, but rather for some acute and learned casuist. I thereforemade a mental note of it, with the intention of putting it impartiallybefore the first person of that description I should meet. Having thusdisposed of a troublesome matter, I felt greatly relieved in mind, andturned into the kitchen once more. I had scarcely sat down, however,before I round that one disagreeable consequence of my performance--thefat senora's claim on my undying devotion and gratitude--had yet to befaced. She greeted my entrance with an effusive smile; and the sweetestsmiles of some people one meets are less endurable than their blacklooks. In self-defence I assumed as drowsy and vacant an expression asI could summon on the instant to a countenance by nature almost tooingenuous. I pretended not to hear, or to misunderstand, everything thatwas said to me; finally I grew so sleepy that I was several times on thepoint of falling off my chair, then, after each extravagant nod, Iwould start up and stare vacantly around me. My grim little host couldscarcely conceal a quiet smile, for never had he seen a person sooutrageously sleepy before. At length he mercifully remarked that Iseemed fatigued, and advised me to retire. Very gladly I made my exit,followed in my retreat from the kitchen by a pair of sad, reproachfuleyes.

  I slept soundly enough in the comfortable bed, which my obese Gulnarehad provided for me, until the numerous cocks of the establishment wokeme shortly after daybreak with their crowing. Remembering that I hadto secure Marcos in the stocks before the irascible little magistrateshould appear on the scene, I rose and hastily dressed myself. I foundthe greasy man of the brass buttons already in the kitchen sippinghis matutinal _mate-amargo,_ and asked him to lend me the key of theprisoner's room; for this was what I had been instructed to do by thesenora. He got up and went with me to open the door himself, not caring,I suppose, to trust me with the key. When he threw the door open westood silently gazing for some time into the empty apartment. Theprisoner had vanished and a large hole cut in the thatch of the roofshowed how and where he had made his exit. I felt very much exasperatedat the shabby trick the fellow had played on us, on me especially, for Iwas in a measure responsible for him. Fortunately the man who opened thedoor never suspected me of being an accomplice, but merely remarked thatthe stocks had evidently been left unlocked by the soldiers the eveningbefore, so that it was not strange the prisoner had made his escape.

  When the other members of the household got up, the matter was discussedwith little excitement or even interest, and I soon concluded that thesecret of the escape would remain between the lady of the house andmyself. She watched for an opportunity to speak to me alone, then,shaking her fat forefinger at me in playful anger, whispered, "Ah,deceiver, you planned it all with him last evening and only made me yourinstrument!"

  "Senora," I protested, with dignity, "I assure you on the word ofhonour of an Englishman, I never suspected the man had any intention ofescaping. I am very angry it has happened."

  "What do you suppose I care about his escaping?" she replied laughingly."For your sake, sweet friend, I would gladly open the doors of everyprison in the Banda if I had the power."

  "Ah, how you flatter! But I must now go to your husband to learn fromhim what he intends doing with the prisoner who has not attempted toescape."

  With this excuse I got away from her.

  The wretched little Juez, when I spoke to him, put me off with a numberof vague, meaningless phrases about his responsible position, thepeculiar nature of his functions, and the unsettled state of therepublic--as if it had ever known or was ever likely to know any otherstate! He then mounted his horse and rode away to Las Cuevas, leaving mewith that dreadful woman; and I verily believe that in doing so he wasonly carrying out her private instructions. The only comfort he gave mewas the promise he made before going that a communication respecting mewould be forwarded to the Commandante of the district in the courseof the day, which would probably result in my being passed on to thatfunctionary. In the meanwhile he begged me to make free use of his houseand everything in it. Of course, the misguided little wretch had nointention of throwing his fat wife at my head; still, I had no doubtthat it was she who inspired these complimentary phrases, telling him,perhaps, that he would lose nothing by a courteous treatment of the"English millionaire."

  When he rode away he left me sitting on the gate, feeling very muchdisgusted, and almost wishing that, like Marcos Marco, I had run awayduring the night. Never had I taken so sudden and violent a disliketo anything as I then and there did to that estancia, where I was anhonoured, albeit a compulsory guest. The hot, brilliant morningsunshone down on the discoloured thatch and mud-plastered walls of thesordid-looking building, while all about wherever I cast my eyes theyrested on weeds, old bones, broken bottles, and other rubbish--eloquentwitnesses of the dirty, idle, thriftless character of the inmates.Meanwhile my sweet, angelic child-wife, with her violet eyes dim withtears, was waiting for me far away in Montevideo, wondering at my longabsence, and even now perhaps shading her face with her lily hand andlooking out on the white dusty road watching for my arrival! And hereI was compelled to sit, idly swinging my legs on the gate, because thatabominable fat woman had taken a fancy to keep me by her! Feelingmad with indignation, I suddenly jumped down from the gate with anexclamation not intended for ears polite, causing my hostess to jumpalso and utter a scream; for there she was (confound her!) standing justbehind me.

  "The Saints defend me!" she exclaimed, recovering herself and laughing;"what made you startle me so?"

  I apologised for the strong expression I had used; then added, "Senora,I am a young man full of energy and accustomed to take a great deal ofexercise every day, and I am getting very impatient sitting here baskingin the sunshine, like a turtle on a bank of mud."

  "Why, then, do you not take a walk?" she said, with kind concern.

  I said I would gladly do so, and thanked her for the permission; thenshe immediately offered to accompany me. I protested very ungallantlythat I was a fast walker, and reminded her that the sun was excessivelyhot, and I should also have liked to add that she was excessively fat.She replied that it did not matter; so polite a person as myself wouldknow how to accommodate his pace to that of his companion. Unable toshake her off, I started for my walk in a somewhat unamiable mood, thestout lady resolutely trudging on at my side, perspiring abundantly.Our path led us down to a little canada, or valley, where the ground wasmoist and abounding with numerous pretty flowers and feathery grasses,very refreshing to look at after leaving the parched yellow ground aboutthe estancia house.

  "You seem to be very fond of flowers," observed my companion. "Let mehelp you gather them. To whom will you give your nosegay when it ismade?"

  "Senora," I replied, vexed at her trivial chatter, "I will give itto the--" I had almost said to the d
evil, when a piercing scream sheuttered suddenly arrested the rude speech on my lips.

  Her fright had been caused by a pretty little snake, about eighteeninches long, which she had seen gliding away at her feet. And no wonderit glided away from her with all the speed it was capable of, for howgigantic and deformed a monster that fat woman must have seemed to it!The terror of a timid little child at the sight of a hippopotamus,robed in flowing bed-curtains and walking erect on its hind legs, wouldperhaps be comparable to the panic possessing the shallow brain of thepoor speckled thing when that huge woman came striding over it.

  First I laughed, and then, seeing that she was about to throw herselffor protection like a mountain of flesh upon me, I turned and ran afterthe snake--for I had observed that it belonged to a harmless species,one of the innocuous Coronella genus--and I was anxious to annoythe woman. I captured it in a moment; then, with the poor frightenedcreature struggling in my hand and winding itself about my wrist, Iwalked back to her.

  "Did you ever see such lovely colours?" I cried. "Look at the delicateprimrose yellow on its neck, deepening into vivid crimson on the belly.Talk of flowers and butterflies! And its eyes are bright as two smalldiamonds--look closely at them, senora, for they are well worth youradmiration."

  But she only turned and fled away screaming at my approach, and at last,finding that I would not obey her and drop the terrible reptile, sheleft me in a towering rage and went back to the house by herself.

  After that I continued my walk in peace amongst the flowers; but mylittle speckled captive had served me so well that I would not releaseit. It occurred to me that if I kept it on my person it might serve asa sort of talisman to protect me from the disagreeable attentions of thesenora. Finding that it was a very sly little snakey, and, like MarcosMarco in captivity, full of subtle deceit, I put it into my hat, which,when firmly pressed on to my head, left no opening for the little arrowyhead to insinuate itself through. After spending two or three hoursbotanising in the _canada_, I returned to the house. I was in thekitchen refreshing myself with a bitter _mate_, when my hostess came inbeaming with smiles, for she had, I suppose, forgiven me by this time.I politely rose and removed my hat. Unfortunately I had forgottenthe snake, when out it dropped on the floor; then followed screams,confusion and scuttling out of the kitchen by madame, children, andservants. After that I was compelled to carry the snake out and give itback its liberty, which no doubt tasted very sweet to it after its closeconfinement. On my return to the house, one of the servants informed methat the senora was too much offended to sit in the same room with meagain, so that I was obliged to have my breakfast alone; and for theremainder of the time during which I was a prisoner I was avoided byeveryone (except Brass Buttons,--who appeared indifferent to everythingon earth), as if I had been a leper or a dangerous lunatic. Theythought, perhaps, that I still had other reptiles concealed about myperson.

  Of course, one always expects to find a cruel, unreasoning prejudiceagainst snakes amongst ignorant people, but I never knew before to whatridiculous lengths it will carry them. The prejudice makes me angry,but on this occasion it had a use, for it enabled me to pass the dayunmolested.

  In the evening the Juez returned, and I soon heard him loud in astormy altercation with his wife. Perhaps she wanted him to have medecapitated. How it ended I cannot say; but when I saw him his mannertowards me was freezing, and he retired without giving me an opportunityof speaking to him.

  Next morning I got up resolved not to be put off any longer. Somethingwould have to be done, or I would know the reason why. On stepping out Iwas very much surprised to see my horse standing saddled at the gate. Iwent into the kitchen and asked Brass Buttons, the only person up, whatit meant.

  "Who knows?" he returned, giving me a _mate_. "Perhaps the Juez desiresyou to leave the house before he is up."

  "What did he say?" I demanded.

  "Say? Nothing--what should he say?"

  "But you saddled the horse, I suppose?"

  "Of course. Who else would do it?"

  "Were you told to do so by the Juez?"

  "Told? Why should he tell me?"

  "How, then, am I to know that he wishes me to leave his beautifulhouse?" I asked, getting angry.

  "The question!" he returned, shrugging his shoulders. "How do you knowwhen it is going to rain?"

  Finding there was nothing more to be got out of the fellow, I finishingtaking _mate_, lit a cigar, and left the house. It was a lovely morning,without a cloud, and the heavy dew sparkled on the grass like drops ofrain. What a pleasant thing it was to be able to ride forth again freeto go where I liked!

  And so ends my snake-story, which is perhaps not very interesting; butit is true, and therefore has one advantage over all other snake-storiestold by travellers.