The Makeover

by Vacirca Vaughn

  “Do you think that is still an issue for you, that you can lose yourself in your desires and not in the One who can supply them?”

  Phoenix again thought of Cedric and how she lost her chance at the altar because of her plans. “I could,” she answered, evenly. “But I have to think about that some more, I guess.”

  Paulo grabbed Phoenix’s hand. “Baby, you don’t have to clean yourself up or fix yourself before coming to Christ. He just wants you to come back to Him. He will do the rest through the Holy Spirit. That is why I was praying you would go to the altar. It looked like you really wanted to as well.”

  “Yeah I know, but I have plans that I need to work out before I can commit that way to God in truth and sincerity.”

  The warm relief that had begun to flow over Paulo chilled. “Plans like what?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Try me.”

  “No thanks.” Phoenix struggled to find a way to change the subject but couldn’t. “Um, so, you think I was wrong to give God up for Cedric, right?”

  “Well, it certainly wasn’t right. But it wasn’t exactly something you did on purpose, even though you made a choice. I guess that’s why God warns us to be careful about who we spend time with, and to make sure we build friendships with other believers. He also warns us that when we struggle with sin, we need to confess to each other and ask for prayer. That is what keeps Christians strong in their walk of faith.”

  Phoenix felt the truth sting her in the places of her heart that wanted her to lash out. But she knew Paulo was just being the salt God had called him to be.

  “But,” Paulo continued, “the good news is that it is not too late. We all struggle with something. Living for Christ is not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. We have to rely on God’s Spirit to help us. It’s not easy to give up some things, like premarital sex or clubbing, or certain relationships. When we try to do it on our own, it is nearly impossible. We have to rely on God and His Holy Spirit, His word, and sometimes other members of His church, if needed.”

  “I understand that now,” Phoenix sighed. “I guess I should have spoken to someone or had someone pray for me. Maybe I would have had the strength to leave Cedric alone.”

  “But there is no need to beat yourself up, Baby. When you’re ready, you can go to God and ask Him to forgive your failures. Ask Him to return to His rightful place and to take control of your life. He will receive you with open arms.”

  Phoenix considered his words for a moment. “But what if there are things…you know, plans that I am not willing to give up? Will He accept me then?”

  “Plans like what?” Paulo asked for the second time.

  “I don’t know…plans in general.”

  Paulo leaned forward to blow her a kiss. “I guess if they are good plans, and in alignment with His plans, the Lord will help you achieve them. If they are bad plans, He may have to reveal that to you and give you the grace to let those plans die. But again, you don’t have to come to God with the right answers or intentions. You come as you are and He’ll do the rest.”

  Phoenix began to fidget from her place on the blanket. Paulo sensed her discomfort and decided she’d had enough church for one day. He grabbed her and pulled her into a cuddle.

  After lying on the thick blanket, in Paulo’s arms, for almost half an hour, Phoenix eventually fell asleep in the warm sun. She slept for about an hour before she awoke with a start, feeling something drip onto her forehead.

  Paulo was leaning over her, holding up a capful of water, with a goofy expression on his face. “Oh, you’re up?”

  Phoenix sat up and wiped her forehead. “Did you just pour water on me?”

  Paulo shook his head as he tossed the bottle cap behind him. “With what?”

  Phoenix hit his shoulder. “Why did you wake me? I was enjoying my nap.”

  “I know. Your snore alerted me of that fact,” Paulo chuckled.

  “I do not—”

  “Don’t bother saying you don’t snore. Please don’t sit here and lie in my face. I can’t get close to a liar.”

  “Paulo!” Phoenix shouted. “I don’t snore!”

  Paulo jumped up and held out his hand. “I can forgive you for falling asleep on me for an hour and snoring like an old bulldog—”

  Phoenix looked up at him. “You let me sleep for an hour?”

  “Yes, and you looked so peaceful, except for the blaring noises coming out of your mouth. But as I said, I am willing to forgive you for falling asleep and comparing me to some kid actor,” he said, pulling Phoenix to her feet.

  “Well what do I have to do to earn your forgiveness?”

  “You have to join me on the swings.”

  Phoenix giggled. “You’re going to push me on the swings?”

  “Push you?” Paulo’s eyes widened. “No. You’re going to push me!”

  Phoenix groaned as she followed him to the playground.

  PART III—The Test

  Dear brothers and sister when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing (James 1:2-4).

  The enemy continued to watch Paulo and Phoenix and concocted ways to pull them apart. He found pockets of fear and rage in Phoenix that he used against her. Satan would use her memories of what Cedric said to keep her trapped. Her bitterness lingered as a living shadow. Satan gleefully used it to fight the light that God had used Paulo to bring to her spirit. Still, there had been progress. The enemy hated the progress the Lord had made and hated Paulo for being the weapon He’d used in the war for Phoenix’s soul. He found things in Paulo that were buried deep. The enemy used Phoenix to dig up those hidden things in Paulo whenever he got bored.

  Paulo’s fear of failure, and Paulo’s fear of his own limitations, and Paulo’s need to control, and Paulo’s pain over his wife, were tiny needles the enemy used to pop holes in the love that was growing between them.

  And the Lord allowed it because He was done with the foolishness in both of His children and was ready to destroy that foolishness from the root.

  So every time the enemy went to the Lord to challenge Him about Paulo’s dedication and Phoenix’s restoration, the Lord rose to the challenge, knowing that the children He’d called from the beginning of time would remain and abide in Him.

  And with each test, the Lord prevailed because He had been teaching His children to trust Him.

  And the enemy continued to devise schemes to kill and destroy these two children that he sought day and night to return to him out of the Lord’s hand.

  And one day, Satan went to the Lord and asked about their relationship. Oh, how he wanted Paulo and Phoenix’s relationship to end. Although God was the ultimate Author of Paulo and Phoenix’s lives, as individuals and as a couple, he remembered that the Lord had a plan in joining them together. Satan didn’t know the ultimate outcome of the Father’s plan, but he knew that if God had a hand in it, it would derail his own plans. Satan’s only goal was to achieve his own plans.

  Satan was sick of God interfering with his plans. Why did God get to have His way all the time?

  So the enemy went back to the Lord, gnashing his teeth, and pointing out Paulo and Phoenix’s differences, frailties, and failures. And the Lord would calmly remind him that Paulo was His and Phoenix had been His and was on her way back to Him. And the enemy would challenge that Phoenix would not return because she had one foot in the Lord’s house and one foot in the world with him. Satan declared Paulo was the only thing holding her to the Lord.

  “So why don’t You test their relationship, Jesus?” the enemy snarled.

  “Fine,” the Lord answered, glancing at His Father, who was knowingly watching Satan. He turned to the Father and said, “Father, You have given me these. You have declared their marriage would be for Your good purpose. Satan maintains that th
ey will fail standing as individuals or as a couple in My Kingdom.”

  And from His place on the Throne of Thrones, God spoke. “Allow them to continue to bond for a time. Then, on the day I command, let their relationship be tested. You are not to hurt them physically or take away what I have given them prior to their relationship or up until the time the test begins. You may test Paulo’s ability to release control of Phoenix’s well-being unto Me. You may test Phoenix’s ability to forgive her past and release the pride and bitterness you continue to use against her. She will be also tested to determine if her relationship with me can stand on its own, without Paulo. If she fails, I will harden her heart and you may have her because she has not yet chosen to return to My Son. If she fails to return, I will spit her out as though she is a bad taste in my mouth. I will supply another wife for Paulo, who is already in My Kingdom. If Phoenix becomes yours, the other woman could be his wife will be his helpmeet and work alongside him as I have chosen for Phoenix to do. All things work together for those who love Me.”

  The enemy growled in pleasure at the thought of Phoenix losing her soul and losing the life she could have had if she had only followed God’s plan.

  And more than anything, the enemy loved to destroy God’s plan.

  The Father’s Holy Light shone brighter against the rage in Satan’s thoughts. “But if Phoenix does repent and returns to My Son, you must leave her and Paulo alone. They will marry and together they will snatch souls out of your hand. And you may not trouble them for many years until I have deemed it time for their marriage to experience growth. Is that clear?”

  Satan, in his pride, refused to dignify the Father’s directive with a response. He quickly went back to earth to assign the appropriate minions to this couple that continued to annoy him.

  And the Father and the Son looked upon with sorrow at the being that had once been closer to the Lord than any other.

  The Father looked to the Son. “Send Your Spirit to shed light upon Truth and command my angels to fight. My will be done.”

  Chapter 22

  Since He himself has gone through suffering and testing, He is able to help us when we are being tested (Hebrews 2:18).

  Paulo and Phoenix became inseparable.

  For two months, after their first church outing, Phoenix attended weekly. On several occasions, she joined Paulo for mid-week service on Tuesday nights, in addition to the weekly group Bible study on Wednesdays at his home.

  Thursdays and Fridays were reserved for spontaneous events that Paulo would arrange. While heading home from his office, he would pray for ways to romance his woman and God would bless him with wonderful ideas. Paulo would wait for Phoenix to return from her classes on the stoop, or show up at her door like a giddy teenage boy, wearing a goofy smile. Without saying a word, he would reach out to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, excited just to see her again. I didn’t matter that he had seen her that very morning for their workout. He never failed to arrive with a trinket or book that either reminded him of Phoenix, or could empower her. Sometimes he came bearing tickets to a Christian-based event or reservations to a cool restaurant. And when he discerned that she’d had a particularly stressful day, he arrived with dinner and inspirational films. Other times, he had games for them to play to unwind after a long week of work, learning, prayer, fitness, church, and other obligations.

  On a few occasions, he was content to sit in silence as she worked on her schoolwork or mounds of paperwork for her job. He would sit near her quietly, as he watched her, marveling at the changes in her. They were slow in coming and painfully achieved, but they would be permanent if Paulo had anything to say and pray about it. She became more beautiful each day in his eyes and it had nothing to do with the pounds she was shedding, or a new shade of eyeshadow Cara would convince her to buy. It had nothing to do with the high heeled shoes she would wear, or the pretty dresses that showed off her nicely-toned legs.

  It had everything to do with the light that was slowly seeping into her soul and radiating through her eyes. It had everything to do with the boldness that directed her hands to grab onto his and encouraged her fingertips to run softly through his hair. It had to do with the assurance of God’s love for her that had been implanted as a seed and was beginning to bear fruit within her life.

  What Paulo and Phoenix enjoyed most were their late night phone conversations that lasted until they fell asleep together on the phone. Even after spending the mornings and evenings together, they would rush to get ready for bed so that they could pick up the phone, already anticipating the sound of the other’s voice. Usually Paulo would call and Phoenix would stretch out her body in the bed, and stretch out the limitations in her trust. Behind the shield of the phone lines, Phoenix poured out her heart in ways she hadn’t the courage to do when she was caught in the depths of Paulo’s gaze. Paulo loved the way she opened up to him. His body would relax with every dip in her voice, with every caress in her words.

  And he would just listen.

  And after, only after, he had been hypnotized by her candor, touched by her pain, energized by her trust, and inspired by her admiration, would he speak.

  And he would share his dreams, his fears, his mistakes, and his achievements.

  And he would allow Phoenix to comfort him for a change

  And it was heaven on earth to have someone comfort him for a change.

  And they would share their deep feelings for each other with sweet words, playful jabs, and low, throaty, giggles and chuckles.

  And then they would pray.

  They would pray for healing and growth, and for the Lord to draw them closer to Himself. They would seek God’s will for their careers and the achievement of personal and professional goals. They would pray for family members and friends. They would pray for God to restore relationships and sever ties to the past. Phoenix was unable to agree in prayer about this because she still was not willing to sever her ties to the past. She believed she needed the past, because the rage she felt whenever she relived it, gave her the fuel to keep fighting.

  Even though she had no idea why she felt the need to keep fighting.

  And more frequently than anything else, Paulo would pray for Phoenix to return fully to the Lord and for the Lord to remove whatever was still holding her back.

  And after each time Paulo prayed those worfs, Phoenix had to bite her lip to prevent herself from blurting out the truth—that she was planning to come back and rededicate her life, but could not do it until she took care of something first. Once she took care of her plan to make Cedric pay, she would be free—free to love God, free to love Paulo, free to love herself, and free to live her new life.

  She continued to work out with Paulo five days a week at his fitness center and make Saturday mornings their day to walk-jog at their park. Saturday afternoons were spent in their one-on-one Bible study. Saturday evenings were saved for more romantic evenings filled with long conversations, laughter, cuddles, and kisses. Saturday nights were saved for each of them to have their time alone, yearning, missing each other, while reliving the time they had spent during the week.

  Phoenix had lost a total of twenty pounds and several inches off her thick waist. Her clothes fit her better and her new lifestyle was making her skin healthier. She went from a size sixteen to a twelve—sometimes ten!— and was feeling more attractive and confident than ever.

  Each week when Paulo weighed and measured Phoenix, and she realized that she had lost another pound or inch, she would hug him and shout, “I’m finally becoming beautiful!”

  And without missing a beat, Paulo would say, “You were always beautiful.”

  And she would fall in love with him a little more with each word.

  And as their friendship grew, their love grew, expanding with each new realm they achieved, contracting with each new challenge that tested them, only to have their bond grow even stronger than before, when they overcame it. As they learned each other, pushed each other, held each other, enjo
yed each other, and prayed for each other, they began to realize that they were made for each other.

  After another two glorious weeks spending time together, they attended church again on a Tuesday night. It had been a total of ten weeks since the first time attending church. When Paulo and Phoenix left the mid-week service, they found a mild late-November evening awaiting them.

  Paulo decided to take Phoenix to her favorite restaurant in Harlem, Dinosaur Barbeque. Paulo felt it was time for a celebration, because that morning, Phoenix had discovered she had lost another five pounds. Paulo believed in rewarding Phoenix for every achievement she made that was a building block to her ultimate goal.

  And for Phoenix, the ultimate celebration was to be rewarded with whatever food she wanted, even if it was just for one night.

  So over thick cut slabs of barbecued ribs, sliced brisket, macaroni and cheese, baked beans, and mayonnaise-drenched carrot and raisin salad, Paulo held up his glass of (diet) orange soda. “To twenty-five pounds down!”

  Phoenix giggled and pushed her regular soda against his. “To thirty-five pounds to go!”

  Paulo waved his hand. “That will be a breeze compared to what you’ve been through, Baby. I am so in love with you.”

  And they froze.

  Phoenix dropped the cup of soda that drenched parts of their table, some of the food, his shirt, and her neck. “What did you say?”

  Paulo was stunned that he had blurted the truth the way he had. She was still wavering about returning to Christ. And he certainly had not planned to share this news like this, over ribs and soda, in a college hang out.