The Makeover

by Vacirca Vaughn

  “Exactly,” Delores agreed. “So you like it huh?”

  “I love it, thank you ladies.”

  After Phoenix paid Delores her fee and a huge tip, the ladies headed out for their weekly lunch.

  “You seeing Paulo tonight for your Saturday-evening date slash Bible study?”

  Phoenix tried to keep her face from falling as she gave a nonchalant shrug. “Definitely the Bible study, but the date hasn’t happened for three months. I told you that. We meet every morning at the fitness center, and on Sundays and Tuesdays for church. We don’t even have breakfast together anymore. Of course we do the Bible studies. As for dating, he hasn’t asked me out since that night we had the fight and I shared the truth with him. He won’t even speak to me on the phone for longer than five minutes whenever I call.”

  “That’s because he’s still waiting for you to finally come to your senses and let go of this plan to make Cedric pay,” Cara said, her smile long gone. “Seriously, Chica, what man is going to sit around and wait while you try to make your ex jealous or try to win him back for revenge? Christian or not, there is only so much a man can take. Frankly it must be strictly the power of God that allows him to even deal with you at this point. I wouldn’t.”

  Phoenix rolled her eyes, struggling to keep her temper in check, as she listened to a lecture she had heard at least twice a day for the past three months. “I know, but it will be over soon. If Paulo or you, for that matter, can’t understand—”

  Cara neck was already twisting. “Oh no, Lady, we can’t understand and we won’t understand no time soon. How do you sound right now? It’ll be over soon? It should have been over the moment that sexy Brazilian knight in shining armor rescued you. Unlike Cedric, he was loving you before you’ve lost all that weight. Now you gonna mess around and throw God’s blessings back in His face. The worse thing, for me, about all this is that the Lord isn’t even allowing you to find Cedric. You are obsessed with having Cedric see the new you so you can move on this plan, but it ain’t happening, Chica. Every time you’ve reached out to Cedric to quote unquote speak to him for closure, he hasn’t bothered to show up. You tried inviting him out to dinner, telling him you want to remain friends, and he didn’t come. What about when you called him to pick up that letter from the child support people? He didn’t come get it for two weeks, and after you called him nearly every day, he sent his friend to pick it up. He barely returns your calls and when he does, he rushes off. That man wants no part of you. I bet the Lord is seeing to that! God is trying to protect you from going through with this and you still keep pushing. How much more of a sign from Him do you need?” She laughed. “Besides, too bad for you ‘cause me and James have been praying. And I know Paulo. Baby, you’re messing with one of God’s prayer warriors. He is not going to allow this mess to happen either, not without his best fight. I bet his prayers are probably seeing to these roadblocks you’ve had.”

  Phoenix considered Cara’s words. It wasn’t like Phoenix hadn’t thought about the way Paulo had loved her and rescued her time and time again. It wasn’t like she didn’t wake up in the middle of the night feeling empty and alone when she thought about how she had pushed the man of her dreams away. It wasn’t like her stomach didn’t turn inside out every time she was reminded of Paulo’s scent, his sweet kisses, his voice, or the way his hazel eyes changed colors depending on his mood. She wasn’t too blind to see that something was standing in the way of her plan. Since Paulo had refused to discuss the issue with Cedric since their disagreement, three months prior, she figured he had given up on changing her mind. She hadn’t realized that Paulo could have been the one who was staying on his knees to block her efforts. She hadn’t understood that Christians may argue with spoken words, but truly battled in prayer.

  But why couldn’t they see she had to do this. It was the only way she would feel good enough about herself to move on.

  When Phoenix didn’t respond, Cara let off an annoyed sigh. “Crazy thing is, you’re the psychologist. You mean to tell me don’t none of this sound crazy to you? You know what? Don’t answer that. Seem like most psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, or mental health counselors are crazier than most of the patients you’re supposed to be helping.” She shrugged. “I guess I answered my own question.”

  Phoenix couldn’t refute her friend’s statements because she knew that her plan was crazy. She just couldn’t get herself to let it go. “You have no idea, Cara, how many times a day I replay what happened in my relationship with Cedric over and over. You have no idea how that feeling of being played fills me with anger and rage. Every time I picture what happened the night I caught him with that chick, and the things he’s said, I want to chew on his face. I did so much for that dude and he repays me like that?”

  “And Paulo has done so much for you and you repay him like this?” Cara snapped. “Come on! He prays for you before he even officially met you. He offers you his assistance for free. He brings you to his fitness center and trains and counsels you personally—which he has not done in years! He’s got a large staff for that! He introduces you to a group of nice people. He came to your rescue every time Satan tried to use Cedric against you. He helped you lose almost sixty pounds! He even surprised you with a new wardrobe when my plus size clothes didn’t fit you anymore—and this is after he put the courtship on pause. How could you even remember Cedric’s name after all that. I would have been moved on!”

  Again, Phoenix had no words because every argument would have simply been Goliath to the David of Cara’s truth.

  Defeated.

  “And, what makes Paulo even less deserving of this is the fact that he has never judged you. I know for a fact that he was crushed when you told him you were doing this mess. He came over the next day and vented for hours. But he kept saying how much he loved you. He had us pray for you. And as upset as he was, as hurt and betrayed as he felt, Paulo has never mistreated you or spoken ill of you—”

  “He stopped being romantic with me,” Phoenix said with a pout.

  “No you stopped opening yourself to him, and your future, the moment you told him you were going to revisit the past. He did what any real man would do. He pulled back and gave you your space. Any real man, let alone a man of God, would do that. He would pray for you and try to help you, but he would not pursue you if you’re not on the same spiritual level as him.”

  Now Phoenix was upset. “I’ve been going to church every week and the Bible studies.”

  “But has it changed you? Have you returned to Jesus in your heart and chosen to do things God’s way? No, because you still holding a grudge against that idiot! Ain’t I right?”

  Phoenix looked away.

  “Thought so!” Cara sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. Bringing her volume down, she said, “Listen. God clearly has a plan. Paulo clearly has your heart. Why not just make the effort to let this foolish plan for revenge go so you can have all the things you’ve been praying for? Paulo loves you, but as a man of God, he’s not going to move forward with you until you make the decision to put your hopes in the Lord and your eyes on the future. Let this go.”

  Phoenix sighed as Cara’s words pricked every inch of her skin and worked their way underneath.

  It was as salt stinging a wound.

  As they headed towards their favorite eatery in silence, a tall dark-skinned, handsome man walked past them and cast a bright smile at Phoenix.

  She nodded coyly and smiled back, admiring the bald, broad-shouldered man with the beautiful smile.

  “Well, hello there, Sister,” the man stopped and lightly touched Phoenix on her arm.

  Phoenix looked at the place where the man had touched her and looked up with a smile in her eyes. “Hello.”

  “I just wanted to stop you and tell you how beautiful you are. What’s your name?” the man said, letting his eyes take in Phoenix appreciatively.

  “Phoenix,” she answered, looking away quickly. She remembered Cara, standing t
here, taking in the exchange. “This is my friend, Cara.”

  “How are you, Cara?” the man answered, with eyes still on Phoenix. “Nice to meet you both. My name is Omari. Where are you beautiful ladies headed to this afternoon?”

  “Lunch,” Phoenix answered simply.

  “I see. Well I don’t want to hold you up, Beautiful. I just wanted to stop and say hello. Are you, by any chance, involved with someone?”

  “Yes, she is,” Cara’s tone was firm.

  Omari’s face slipped but didn’t fall. “Are you?” He asked Phoenix again.

  Phoenix smiled and shrugged. “There is someone but we are…taking space, I guess. Why?” She tilted her head to the side and watched him.

  “Because I was hoping for a chance to take you out sometime,” Omari chuckled. “But you already knew that.”

  “Hmmm. I don’t know because—” Phoenix began.

  “You don’t have to know. All you have to do is give me a shot. If you’re not in a relationship, it’s fair game for the decent brothers out there looking for a sexy woman such as yourself.” Omari reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Why don’t I do this? Here’s my card. I would love to hear from you some time. If you decide to call me, Phoenix, I would be honored for the chance for us to get to know each other better. Okay, Beautiful?”

  Phoenix nodded and smiled. “Okay, then.”

  Omari held out his hand, his eyes holding hers captive. When she placed her hand in his, instead of shaking it, he turned it over to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. He winked. “It was truly a pleasure, Phoenix. I hope you will use that number. Call me anytime.”

  Cara not-so-discreetly stuck her finger in her mouth and made a retching sound. Sighing heavily, she grabbed Phoenix’s arm and pulled. “Okay, well we gotta go.”

  “Have a nice lunch, ladies” Omari said, turning and gliding away.

  Phoenix stood for a while watching him from behind. Suddenly she burst into giggles. “Can you believe that guy? He was kinda cute, although I don’t love his bald head. It isn’t a perfect bald head with all those lumps in the back. And his shoes! Uh!” She said, wrinkling her nose. “Plus, he was so corny!” Phoenix looked at Omari’s business card for his architectural design business. “He’s an architect, and cute, but dag, he thinks he’s the sun!”

  Cara twisted her lips as they resumed walking. “So why did you waste his time—and mine for that matter—letting him flirt with you, and taking his card, if you don’t like his shoes or the shape of his head?”

  “Girl! I can’t help it if guys give me attention. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and—”

  “I just think it wasn’t right for you to entertain him if you weren’t interested.”

  “So what? Men do it all the time.”

  “Paulo doesn’t,” Cara said. “You’ve changed Phoenix, you know that? Don’t let your new look go to your head.”

  “Why can’t you just be happy for me? I’m getting attention for the first time in my life!” Phoenix asked in a shrill tone. “These days, men are flocking to me and it feels good. Just be happy for me!”

  “I am happy for you. I just don’t want you to start feeling yourself so much that you become a totally different person. We were trying to help you change your look for the best, not change your personality for the worst.”

  Phoenix remained quiet as she followed Cara into the small Dominican restaurant on Amsterdam Avenue. She was still quiet as Cara began discussing her plans with her husband for the Valentine’s holiday in a couple of weeks.

  After Phoenix cooled off about having been lectured by her friend, she started to wonder when she stopped accepting constructive criticism. Since when did she become too wonderful to heed advice? Phoenix was just about to admit to Cara that she was right about the ways Phoenix had been letting her rapidly expanding ego get the best of her. Phoenix also wanted to tell her friend that she would start working, somehow, on trying to forgive, moving forward, and letting go of the past.

  That is, until the past walked into the shop.

  Satan, seething that Cara was breaking through to Phoenix, had made sure of it. He and his minions began to work on tearing down what Cara had been led to build up.

  San and Nic were planning to head to San’s building, when San was suddenly overcome with the urge to have some flan, causing San to lead Nic into the Dominican restaurant. Satan watched gleefully as Phoenix noticed the pair entering the restaurant. After commanding his minions to begin their assignments, he watched.

  Phoenix’s eyes followed San and Nic as they sat down at a nearby table. They had just finished their Saturday morning shopping ritual, as indicated by the several shopping bags they carried. They were laughing as they looked at the paper menus lying on their table.

  Phoenix had missed these women whom she had known for over fifteen years. A part of her wanted to rush over and say hello and show off her new body and clothes and make up. Another part wanted to hold on to the sneers and jabs they had handed her during one of the worst times of her life. She continued to stare trying to figure out what was best.

  Becoming aware that Phoenix had not heard a word, Cara leaned forward to tap her arm. “Why are you staring at those women like that? You know them?”

  Phoenix nodded, still debating what to do.

  “So instead of sitting here and looking like a stalker, why don’t you just go say hello?”

  “I’m not sure,” Phoenix answered, pulling her eyes away from their table. “We used to be real close but we had a bad fight.”

  “Oh. Those are the friends you told me about?” Cara said, glancing at the two women.

  “Yup.”

  “So, here’s your chance to do the right thing. Put the past to rest and forgive. Besides, you know you got to show off your new look, right? More importantly, you got to show off my work.”

  “Shut up!” Phoenix said, smiling.

  “I’m serious. Go over there and say hello. Make the first move. See what happens.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “God calls us to forgive seventy times seven.”

  “I’m not sure I’m there yet,” Phoenix sighed.

  “Well, you keep not being sure, you’re gonna end up alone. You don’t speak to those women, your mom, and you are keeping Paulo on hold. I’m thinking you should try the opposite of what you normally do.”

  “I didn’t ask you,” Phoenix snapped.

  “But I told you…out of love,” Cara snapped back, batting her eyelashes. “Put it this way, if you don’t say something, you might regret it. Just see how it goes.”

  “Okay, okay,” Phoenix got up. She started to walk over to her former friends’ table, but made a detour to the restroom. In the mirror she fluffed out her curls, added some gloss and straightened her sweater dress and pulled up her leggings. She adjusted her scarf and stared at her face for any visible imperfections. She loved how her lightly-applied mineral foundation smoothed out her complexion and the way her blush highlighted her newly-pronounced cheekbones. Satisfied she left the bathroom and walked with authority over to her friends, loving the sound of her stiletto heels clacking against the tile.

  Reaching the table, she put on a wide smile and looked down at Nic and San who had stopped talking and were already looking her up and down. Phoenix waited, letting them check her out. She loved how the short dress showed off her toned legs and highlighted her newly flat stomach. She wasn’t as curvaceous as her two friends, but felt she could give them a run for their money with her new athletic frame.

  San’s eyebrows went up and she let out a haughty, “Yes?”

  “So you don’t recognize me, San? I don’t look that different, do I?” Phoenix asked coyly, with a smirk.

  Nicola’s eyebrows went up as she stared deep in Phoenix’s eyes. Phoenix almost burst into giggles when her friend’s jaw drop and she stood up so abruptly that her chair fell back. “No! Can’t be! What? Girl?” Nicola threw her arms around
Phoenix’s neck. “I can’t believe it!” She turned to San amazed. “You can’t be serious. You can’t see who this is….or who this is now?”

  San began to look at her nails, already bored with the guessing games. “Who are you? Did we meet in high school?”

  “Yeah, in tenth grade home room, San. You forgot me that fast?” Phoenix said, grinning so widely her cheeks were hurting.

  This time it was San’s turn to look up startled. “Fe?”

  “In the flesh…or should I say, less of it.”

  Excitement flashed in San’s eyes and it almost led her to jump up and hug the friend she had missed. She wanted to apologize and tell Phoenix how proud she was of her.

  But as soon as Satan whispered into her mind, Who does she think she is? She thinks she’s soooo cute. Forget her, San’s spark quickly fizzled out. She remained in her seat, eyeing Phoenix stoically.

  San cleared her throat and returned to studying her airbrushed nail design. “Hmmm. You look…well, I guess.”

  Phoenix’s grin faded away like a voice from a distance. “Uh, thanks…I guess.”

  Nic, who had also missed her friend, was all smiles. “Girl, I am so glad to see you. You look beautiful. I can’t believe you did it. Your clothes look so nice. Your hair, oh my gosh! I have missed you. I wanted to call you after our argument but…” she glanced at San before glancing at the ground.

  Phoenix waved a hand in a way she hoped appeared nonchalant. “Let’s not talk about our fight right now. Still, you could have called. You didn’t have to wait for permission if you really wanted to reach out to me,” she said evenly.

  San looked up with narrowed eyes. “Oh so, like, I stopped you from calling her, Nic? Please. Just like you didn’t need permission, she didn’t need permission either. She could have called us too, so don’t get on that guilt trip. I’m not the one.”

  Her tone immediately put Phoenix on edge. “No, you’re not the one…not the one I was talking to, or the one I wanted to hear from, so you’re not the one that should worry about it. I was talking about Nicola here. You and I are finished anyway, unless you have something to say…”