Gina and Paul (Last Chance Program Book 2)

by Malone, Misty

  “Not really. You intrigued me from the first time I saw you in the airport lounge, being a real pain.”

  She blushed, something he still enjoyed watching. “I really was a pain back then, wasn’t I?”

  “Oh, yeah. But under my excellent tutelage and watchful eye you’ve blossomed into a sweet little lady. Hopefully Gina will, too.”

  “If she sticks with Paul, I’m sure she will. And if she isn’t falling for the big guy yet, as they work together, I bet she will. As she works with him and becomes happier, she’ll see how good he is for her. I know you won’t want to lose him as an administrator, but I’d love to see him find the right lady.”

  “Yeah, me, too. I’ll miss him, he’s a very good administrator, but I hope he finds the same happiness we found.”

  “Isn’t there something you could find for him to do here with you, something other than being an administrator?”

  “Why? Like what?”

  “Anything, I don’t care. But if they get together, I think you should find something for him to do here. If they move here, I’ll bet she and I could become good friends. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

  Jason laughed out loud. “I’m not sure Paul and I would be able to handle you two being good friends. You’d wear our poor hands out.” They were both laughing as they headed to their bedroom, Cheyenne pulled close to his side.

  * * *

  Gina greeted Paul the next morning and invited him in, then surprised him. “Come on into the kitchen. I’ve got breakfast ready. I hope you don’t mind scrambled eggs and sausage links.”

  “You cooked without me? But the rules—”

  “The rules were to make sure neither one of us tried to use the other person. That’s not something you have to worry about.” She looked at his large eyes, and laughed. “Oh, come on, don’t look so surprised. I admit I wasn’t pulling my weight, so I don’t blame you for making that a rule. It was probably the only way to get me off my lazy butt to help. But I’m anxious to get to work today, so I thought I’d chance making something myself. The only thing I felt brave enough to try alone, though, was scrambled eggs.”

  “Scrambled eggs sound wonderful, and I’m proud of you for trying them yourself. I’m sure they’ll be delicious.”

  “Let’s not go overboard; they’re only scrambled eggs. But if they’re edible I’ll consider it a success.”

  As they ate, he assured her they were delicious. She blushed, which he found endearing. He suggested they try the crockpot for dinner tonight, and she was thrilled. “And something simple for lunch, too,” she suggested. “We have a lot of work to do today.”

  He held a finger up in warning. “But I’m not going to let you push too much. We’ll see how it goes. What are you so anxious to do?”

  “To change.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know. That’s your job. I just know I’m ashamed of what I thought of those ladies before I met them, and I want to change.”

  They quickly got the dishes taken care of and worked together to get the beef roast and spices on, and the potatoes, carrots and onions cut up to cook with it. Once that was on, he steered her to the living room. He sat down on the couch, pulling her down beside him, both computers, and paper and pens in front of them.

  “Before we start on this, I want to talk to you a minute. You said you’re anxious to change. That’s good, but this isn’t something we can do in one day. You are aware of that, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, but I feel like I have to do something. At least I want to feel like I’m working on it.”

  “Okay, that I can agree with. As long as we’re talking and exploring your feelings, you’ll feel like you’re doing something?”

  She scrunched her eyes shut before answering. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “You have to be patient. Feelings change slowly. We’ll keep working on it, but you can’t change your thoughts and feelings overnight. If you try to, they generally aren’t your true feelings, and your heart hasn’t yet accepted them. Then you’re fighting against yourself, and that just makes the process take longer yet. Be patient and we’ll get there.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Trust me on this, Gina. You have to be patient.”

  “I do trust you, Paul. I’m surprised about that, but I do trust you.”

  “Good. Trust is earned, and I’ll do my best to keep earning that trust. Now, let’s look into jobs that are available around here, how much they pay, and what the qualifications are for them.”

  “I started that, and it surprised me. Wages are lower than I thought.”

  “I think when we see what jobs pay, how much of their pay the workers actually take home and have available to them for bills, and how much it costs to live, we’ll both be a little surprised.”

  “You, too? Don’t you know all that?”

  “I know how much I make, but I live in a house I inherited from my grandfather, so to be honest, no, I don’t really know how much housing costs. So again, this may be an eye opener for both of us.”

  They spent the next four hours researching and making notes. They stopped for a quick lunch, and got back into the research. Before they knew it, it was dinnertime. They looked over their notes, and both agreed they were glad they’d done this. “I didn’t realize how much it costs just to live,” Gina said. “Or how little people have left after paying their bills. I can clearly see now that I need to have a plan for my life, though, like you said.”

  “Let’s eat dinner before we do anything with that. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow.”

  “I can wait until after we eat, but I want to start tonight, at least have a little start on it.”

  He agreed, and after they had dinner and did the dishes, they moved to the kitchen table. “Have you given any more thought to any career you may be interested in pursuing?”

  “Nothing’s jumped out at me.”

  “That’s okay. Does your plan for the future include college?”

  “After seeing what wages are, I think I have to. But that’s a problem, too, unless Dad will still pay for it.”

  “He will,” Paul assured her. “He said he planned all along on sending you to college for whatever you wanted to major in. I would assume that would be regardless of if you go off to college or go to a community school and live at home for a year while you bring your grades up.”

  “So I have an advantage over Helen and Noelle right there,” she said rather quietly.

  Paul was glad she was realizing these things, but he didn’t want her to get too down on herself. He gave her time to contemplate that thought a few moments, then moved on. “Take some paper and a pen, and I want you to write down things you want to include in your plan.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, what’s your ultimate plan?”

  “To be happy.”

  Paul was speechless. She sounded sad when she said it, and when he glanced at her, she looked like the statement surprised her, as well. He saw her in a different light at that moment. She seemed suddenly small and fragile. He acted without thinking, and went to her and pulled her in against his chest, his arms wrapped around her. She surprised him again when she leaned against his chest and her arms went around him.

  They stayed like that for a couple minutes, while they both fought to figure out what was happening. He finally pulled back far enough to look at her. “Gina, I think you’ll be much happier after doing this program.”

  She seemed flustered, but nodded. “You said everyone who does the program is happier. I hope you’re right.”

  “I am. You’ll see.” He went back to his chair on the other side of the table. “Is your plan to have a career of some kind?”

  “Yes. I’m not sure yet what kind of career, but yes, I want to have a career and be able to support myself.”

  “Write that goal at the top of your page. Then make a list, in no particular order, of things you’ll have to accomplish in order to reach that goal.”

 
“That’s how you make a plan?”

  “Yep. List your main goal, and then try to come up with all the steps you’ll need to achieve to reach that goal. Then we’ll put them in a logical order, and come up with a step-by-step plan. Each step becomes a small goal, all leading up to your main goal. Does that make sense?”

  “It does. Will you help me, though? I’m sure I’ll forget some stuff.”

  “We’ll work on it together.” They spent an hour on it, and he could tell she was getting tired and frustrated. “Okay, enough for tonight.”

  “No, not yet. What else is there? I’m sure there are other things I’ll have to do. There are so many things it’ll take years and years and years. We don’t have time to stop. I don’t want to end up a drain on society.”

  “Okay, that’s enough, Gina. Let’s go in the living room.”

  “Go ahead if you want. I’m going to keep working.”

  “No, you aren’t. You’re getting upset, which I’m guessing is because you’re tired. You yourself said you didn’t sleep well last night. You need to call it a day.”

  “No, I don’t. I’m trying to do something important here. If you won’t help me, that’s your problem, but kindly leave now so I can get this done.”

  He went to her and pulled her up by her upper arms. Holding onto them, he looked into her eyes. “Gina, I said enough for today. I’ve done this enough to be able to see that you need to rest. Now come on into the living room and sit down.”

  “Leave me the hell alone,” she said, trying to pull her arms free.

  He kept his hold on them, though, and led her to the couch and directly over his lap. She seemed exhausted, to the extent that she didn’t even struggle much as he unfastened her jeans and pulled them down. He started the spanking, but not with the same intensity he normally spanked. She didn’t struggle as much as she normally did, and tears started flowing much quicker.

  He started talking as he spanked. “Gina, you are exhausted. You need to stop for today, and I think you know that. I think that’s why you used the language that you did. You knew that I would not allow that, and you’re right; I won’t. But I also will not allow you to keep working when you’re this exhausted. I think I know why you’re so worn out, and it’s not because we did too much work today. I think it’s things you’re beginning to realize. You’re too tired to talk about them now, though. I’m going to finish this spanking up, and you are going to go to bed and get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “Yes,” she said quietly.

  He stopped the spanking, which had actually been quite mild, although he doubted she realized that. He helped her up and onto his lap, where she practically collapsed into his chest. Even before his arms were around her she was snuggling up against him. Noticing all this, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “You’re safe here. You go ahead and cry all you want. Let your frustrations out. I’ll hold you while you do.”

  Her tears came faster, and she nodded. One hand went up to wrap around one of his arms. He thought it was almost like it was her lifeline. He was concerned, but was pretty sure what was going on. She was starting to feel differently about several things, and it was difficult. She wasn’t proud of some of the things she’d said and done over the past several years, and as shame came over her, guilt was settling in, as well.

  Admitting these things to herself was difficult, but it also showed her exactly how much work she had to do, which was intimidating. What this little lady needed right now was a good night’s sleep. Then they needed to have a good talk, and she needed to listen to what he was saying, and trust him. He felt sure if she could do that, she’d be fine. He was beginning to see the sweet little lady with the big heart more and more, and he was sure he could get her to emerge, if he could get her to trust him and listen to what he had to say.

  He held her until her crying slowed, and he made sure she was okay. She stayed on his lap a little longer than normal, even though the spanking had been so light. They talked quite a bit, about nothing in particular. He was happy to see she wasn’t arguing with him any more, and was agreeing that she was tired and would go to bed. She did say she was anxious to hear what his theory was in the morning, but was willing to wait until then.

  He praised her for that, for not arguing, and left.

  Chapter Twelve

  She anxiously invited him in again the next morning. “What; no breakfast?” he kidded.

  “Sorry. I didn’t have time this morning. I must have been more tired than I thought because I slept straight through and never woke up until the alarm went off this morning. Then I hit the snooze and went back to sleep.”

  “You were exhausted last night,” he said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “You need to trust me, Gina. I’ve done this before and I can tell when you’re too tired to go on. I shouldn’t have let you go that long. I’ll have to watch you closer from now on.”

  “But I don’t understand it. How could just sitting there at the couch or the table all day wear me out? I wasn’t doing anything to make me so tired.”

  “You were tired emotionally. When you have so many new thoughts and ideas introduced to you in a short amount of time it can be overwhelming. That’s why I said you have to give your brain time to catch up with all the new feelings you may be having. We’ll be more careful from here on, and you need to listen to me and trust that I know what I’m doing.”

  “I do trust you. You said you think you know what’s bothering me; why I feel so bad?”

  “I have an idea, yes. We’ll explore it after breakfast and see if I’m right, if you feel up to talking some more. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, we’ll wait.”

  “No, I want to know. I’m not sure I want to do a lot of talking, but I do want to know why I’m feeling so terrible.”

  “You’re not sure you want to do a lot of talking again, though? Didn’t we go through that once already?”

  “I know, but—I don’t know. If I don’t say anything, it can’t be something else we need to work on.”

  “I told you there aren’t any right or wrong answers here. We’ll talk about that a little more later, too. Let’s fix some breakfast.”

  An hour later they were high fiving each other for the wonderful coffee cake they created with their own two, or four, hands. Once the dishes were in the dishwasher they went to the living room to get started.

  “Okay,” she said as she sat on the couch, “explain my feelings to me.”

  He laughed. “You know I can’t do that. I can, however, give you an option or two and see if either of them seem to hit home.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I want. Like I said, explain my feelings to me.” She had an ornery little grin he hadn’t noticed before, and it made him smile.

  “Okay, let me try a theory. Yesterday when we met those two girls, I could tell it had a profound effect on you.”

  “It totally changed my perception of people on government assistance.”

  “First of all, don’t let it totally change it. You’re right; there are some people like you pictured. There are people who could work, but find it easier to let the government give them a handout. What I wanted you to see, though, is that not everyone is like that.”

  She was quiet for several moments. “How many of the people on government assistance do you think are like the girls yesterday?”

  “I can’t actually say. My feeling, though, is that many of them are like Helen and Noelle. For varying reasons, I think there are many people who need some help to get back on their feet, or to get a fresh start.”

  “A fresh start from what?”

  “Maybe the company they worked for shut down, or they moved to Mexico, or for whatever reason, they got laid off. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, it’s rough. If you get laid off, even if you get unemployment, that takes several weeks before you start receiving it, and many people don’t have the money to go maybe a month before they start gett
ing unemployment. Even if they have help for that first month, if they were living paycheck to paycheck, getting a percentage of your pay in the form of unemployment still won’t pay all your bills.”

  “That’s true. So a lot of people really do need the help, but hopefully it will only be temporarily, while they save enough for a security deposit and utility deposits they need to get another apartment, like the girls yesterday.”

  “Right. There are other people getting different types of assistance, for different reasons. Maybe a single mother, if the father leaves and doesn’t pay any child support. She may not be able to find a job that pays enough to pay for an apartment, food for herself and her baby, and daycare while she works.”

  “I can believe that, after seeing how much daycare costs. When you suggested we look that up yesterday I thought it was a waste of time. I assumed it was like maybe fifty dollars a week. I was shocked at how much it is. How can a single mother afford that on top of all the regular living expenses?”

  “That’s the problem. Unless she has a college degree or other skills that will get her a good paying job, she can’t.”

  “So I can see now why she would need help. I can even see now why some people working places like Wal-Mart may need food stamps to help buy food. They don’t make much an hour, but when their employers don’t even give them forty hours a week, it’s just not enough to live on. “

  “You’re right. But getting back to why you’re so upset, meeting those girls yesterday and hearing their story had an effect on you yesterday. Then when you decided you wanted a plan for your life, once you started working on that you saw how much you need to do to become self-sufficient. How did that make you feel?”

  “Like I have an awful lot of work ahead of me. And I also need to change an awful lot of things about myself, too. I have a lot of work to do.”

  “That’s what I thought. You’re feeling overwhelmed; like you have a ton of things you have to do, and a ton of things you have to change.”

  “I do.”

  “No, you don’t. I think of your life starting after you’re out of high school, because that’s when you start thinking for yourself and making your own decisions. So right now you have some issues you need to work on, and you’re just starting your life on your own, which brings with it some decisions and then starting on a plan, but that time is also exciting. You’re learning new things, developing new skills, meeting new people, proving to yourself what you can do, so don’t look at that part of it as a daunting task, but a new adventure just beginning.”