Lifeless

by Jennifer LaRocca

  Finding the actors’ trailers, I looked for the one that had “Luke Marshall” on the front and knocked. I was kind of nervous about seeing Kade after last night. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty hands on my dress as Keith answered the door clad in a suit and tie. I was actually surprised to see that he wasn’t talking on his phone. “Hey, Scarlett, come on in.”

  I smiled up at him and stepped up into the trailer to see Kade getting his makeup done by a cute petite blonde who was wearing glasses. My eyes were glued to Kade. He was wearing blue plaid pajama pants and a tight white t-shirt. He must have been about to film a bedroom scene this morning.

  Hearing a phone ring, I turned to see Keith with his phone now plastered to his ear as he walked out of the trailer. That didn’t last long. He never stayed around long enough for me to even talk to him.

  I looked around the trailer. There was nothing fancy about it, just a sitting area and a place for Kade to get his makeup done.

  When Blondie was done putting powder on Kade, he turned and gave me a big smile before getting out of his chair. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  “Morning.” I smiled back at him and nodded to the blonde as she made her way out of the trailer.

  “So, what time does filming start? Are you ready for your big day?” I asked, taking a seat on the small couch against the far wall.

  Kade came to sit next to me, draping his arm on the back of the couch behind my head, and started playing with my hair, giving me goose bumps all over my body.

  “Yeah, I should be going on in about thirty minutes, so we’ve got plenty of time if you wanted to . . .” he trailed off with a big smile.

  I was glad to see playful Kade this morning, but now was not the time. I needed to be in professional mode, but a smile still tugged at the corner of my mouth.

  “Well,” I said, clearing my throat, “I know Matt explained to you what I’m going to be doing while you are filming, but I want to tell you in my own words what I’ll be doing. I’m basically here to get a feel for your surroundings and observe you on set. If, at any time, I feel that you are under the influence of drugs, then it will be noted and you will be tested. I told you before that I take my job very seriously and I will report you. And believe me when I say I know exactly what to look for, so you won’t be able to hide anything from me.” Kade’s lip twitched into a small smile. “I also don’t have to be here the whole time you are filming. If I feel the need to stay, then I will, and I might even pop back by during the day, but most days, I’ll leave you to your job because I, too, have a job I still have to keep up with.”

  “I already understand what it is you’ll be doing here, Scarlett. And believe me when I say that you will have nothing to worry about. I don’t plan on being a pain in the ass. I’ll do my best to make your job easy.” He said with a smile as he lifted his hand from my hair to brush my cheek with his fingers. “That way you’ll want to spend more time with me.”

  I bit my lip and lowered my head to hide my blush. Just that simple touch and his sexy voice made me want to pounce. I needed to set some boundaries while we were in his work environment so I could do my job properly.

  Lifting my hand to my face, I removed his hand, which my skin missed right away, and set it on his lap. “Kade, we need to set some boundaries here. I know we’re in private right now, but you can’t just go touching me anytime you want when we are in private or out in public. I don’t want anyone assuming something that’s not true, especially here on set.” I tried to say this with conviction in my voice, even though I loved having him touch me.

  He sat there quietly studying my face. “Would it be so bad?” he asked.

  I looked at him confused. “Would what be so bad?”

  “If people assumed we were together.” His eyes bored into mine. I couldn’t believe he was asking me that. This was the same person who’d never been with the same woman twice.

  I looked away from his intense stare. “Kade, we don’t even know each other. I’m not like the girls you’re used to. If something were to happen between us, I wouldn’t be in it just for sex with you. I’d be in it for real.”

  A loud knock sounded on the door. “Kade, we need you on set.” A male voice shouted from behind the closed door.

  Kade stood up and looked down at me with a smile. “I’m not a bad guy, Scarlett, despite what you might have heard or even read. Have lunch with me today, and we can get to know each other then.” He walked toward the trailer door. “Oh, and, Scarlett? I’d be in it for real too.” He smiled that sexy grin and walked out before I had a chance to respond.

  I sat there dumbfounded. I didn’t even plan on staying, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to stay and have lunch. At least then we’d get to know each other a little better. He’d be in it for real too. I smiled to myself and laughed. How was this even possible? I felt as if I were on cloud nine. And even though my brain was telling me to take a step back, my heart wanted me to leap right in.

  Making my way out of the trailer, I headed toward the studio door. The big doors were now closed because filming was about to start. As I made it through the door, I saw everyone milling around, trying to get everything ready. Kade was over by a set that was made up like a bedroom, and the director was giving him direction as to where he was supposed to stand and what he was supposed to be doing. From what I’d heard, they were filming the scene in which his character and his boss’s wife had sex for the first time.

  Watching everyone get into position, I couldn’t take my eyes off Kade. Then the sex scene started. I knew there was nudity in this film, and I was surprised that no one asked me to leave. There were so many people in there. I didn’t know how the main character could take off her clothes with everyone standing around watching. I would have been so embarrassed.

  The boss’s wife knocked on his bedroom door and slowly entered. She saw him standing at his bedroom window, walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest, and then rested her head on his back. “I’m sorry about Harry, Luke. Please don’t let what he said ruin what we have.” He turned and looked at her with the look of pure passion. I was mesmerized by his movements as he ran his hands up her arms then up her neck into her hair. He pulled her hair back and smashed his lips to hers.

  I could feel my body flush as he lifted her shirt over her head, freed her breasts from her bra, and then started running his hands all over her body. He led her to the bed and pushed her down. Leaning back on the bed, she watched as he stripped off his shirt and then his pants. He stood there in nothing but boxer briefs. God he was so sexy. Then, leaning down, he slowly undid her jeans and pulled them off, but left her black lacy panties on. As he slowly slid into bed beside her, they embraced in more passionate kissing, until the director yelled cut.

  I had to admit that I didn’t really like watching Kade make out with someone else. Even though I knew it was for a movie, it was hard to watch. I couldn’t understand how actual couples dealt with this sort of thing. It would have driven me nuts.

  Not being able to watch them do the scene again, I decided it would be a good time to check in at work. Walking out of the studio, I pulled my phone out of my purse to see that Jules had already tried to call me three times, so I pressed her name to call her back.

  “It’s about damn time you called me back,” she answered.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I had my phone on vibrate, Jules. I was inside the studio. You can’t have your phone on when you’re in there. You know that.”

  “I know. I know, but you know me. I’m dying over here. Spill it.”

  Laughing, I made my way toward Kade’s trailer. “There is nothing to spill. Nothing happened.”

  “It didn’t look to me like nothing happened. After I walked off last night and left you at the bar, it looked like things were getting heated. Then before I knew it, you were gone.”

  “Yeah, things did get intense, too intense actually. Can you believe he actually asked me if I beli
eved in love at first sight? Who says that?” I made my way into Kade’s trailer and plopped down on the couch.

  “WHAT? OMG, Letti!” She was laughing. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, and it’s not funny.” I couldn’t contain my own laugh. “I have no idea what to make of what he said to me, because then he got me all hot and bothered and I had to excuse myself to get some space from him. He’s so intense, and it kind of freaks me out.” But I loved it too.

  “Well, no wonder you didn’t invite him up.”

  “It’s not like I didn’t want him to come up, but he got a phone call in the car that seemed to piss him off, so, obviously, the mood shifted in a totally different direction. He kissed me on the cheek and told me he’d see me today.”

  “Well, don’t think too much about it. Just have fun with it, Letti. It’s not every day you get a sexy ass rock god whispering sweet nothings in your ear.” She giggled.

  “Ha-ha, Jules, I’m going to let you go. Hopefully, they’ll break for lunch soon, and then I’m going to come by the office. I know my phone must be full of messages.”

  “Okay, see you later,” she said and then hung up.

  Filming would probably take another hour or two, so I decided that I’d read while I waited. If Jules knew that I had a reading app on my phone, she’d probably die. You just never knew when you’d be in a situation where you wished you’d brought a book with you. This was one of those times. There was nothing like reading about your favorite book boyfriend to make the time go by without even realizing it.

  After finishing my book about a sexy bad boy underground fighter, I looked up to see the trailer door open and Kade walk through with a smile on his face.

  “I was wondering where you were. I’m glad you stayed.” He pulled out two sub sandwiches and two sodas from the bag he was carrying.

  “Well, you didn’t really give me time to object, so here I am.” I gestured with a smile.

  “There’s a deli catering today, so I got us each a sandwich,” he said, pointing to the subs on the table. “I got a ham and a turkey. I didn’t know which one you’d like, so I just got one of each so you could decide.”

  I grabbed the turkey sub and said, “Thanks.” Then I got off the couch and took a seat on the floor where the small coffee table was so I wouldn’t have to eat the sub in my lap. Kade watched me and decided to do the same thing. He handed me a soda, and we both started to eat.

  While we ate, I looked him over. He was still in the clothes he had to wear for the bedroom scene, and I wondered if he was done with that scene yet.

  “So how’s filming going?”

  He looked at me with a smile. “It’s going well so far. Did you come into the studio and watch, or have you been in here the whole time?”

  “I went in right before filming started and watched the first take. It seemed like a pretty heavy scene.” A blush found its way to my cheeks, so I picked up my sandwich to hide it.

  “Yeah, it’s a pretty intense scene,” he said with a laugh, “but I’m not complaining about it, especially since we’ve had to do the scene over and over again. It does get tiring doing the same thing all morning though, and I’m sure Lauren’s husband will be glad that I’m not feeling up his wife on set for the next hour.”

  A laugh burst out of me. “Her husband is in there watching?”

  Kade had a mouth full of food, but he grinned and nodded at me.

  “Oh my God, I don’t know how he is able to handle it. I could only watch it once before I had to get some air.”

  Picking up my sandwich, I took a bite and looked up at Kade, who was watching me. It took me a minute to realize what I had said.

  “So you couldn’t handle watching it either, huh?” There was that damn smirk again.

  I decided to change the subject. I wasn’t comfortable talking about how I didn’t like seeing him kissing another woman, even though she was married and her husband was right there watching the same thing. It was all kinds of ridiculous, but I couldn’t help how it made me feel.

  “So, you asked me to stay for lunch,” I said, pointedly changing the subject.

  “Yeah, I was thinking during takes that we could take turns asking each other questions and go from there. I’m sure there is a lot you’d like to know about me, and there’s a lot I’d like to know about you,” he said with a mouth full of food.

  “Are there any rules? Is there anything off limits?” I asked in between bites.

  “No, we can ask anything, but we can choose not to answer.”

  This could get interesting. There was a lot I wanted to know. “Okay, sounds good. Who goes first?”

  “I’ll go first. Since I already know that you’re from Alabama, why’d you moved to Georgia?” He shoved the last bite of his sub in his mouth.

  Putting my sub down, I picked up my napkin, wiped my mouth, and looked at Kade. I was debating whether to tell him the truth or give him a vague answer. Even though he’d never know if I was telling him the truth or not, I figured I’d tell him whole truth anyway, since I expect the same in return. I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands twisting my napkin.

  “Well, five months ago, I found out that my boyfriend was married with a kid on the way.”

  I looked up at Kade to see that he was staring at me with a shocked look on his face.

  I laughed because most people would have had the same reaction. “Yeah, I know. Shocking, isn’t it? I couldn’t believe it at the time either, but the more I thought about it, over time, the more I realized all the signs were there that he was married. I just chose not to notice them, especially since he was my first boyfriend and I was starting to really have feelings for him.”

  He leaned back on the bottom of the couch. “What do you mean he was your first boyfriend?” The look on his face was actually quite amusing.

  “Na, uh, uh, that’s another question. It’s my turn.” I laughed.

  He made a grunting noise and moved to sit on the couch. I followed suit, leaving half my sub on the table. Getting comfortable, I tried to think of what I wanted to ask him first.

  “Okay, so I read a lot about you on the Internet, but as you had said before, I shouldn’t believe everything I read. So tell me how you got into playing music.”

  It took him a minute to reply. He was looking at me as if he were trying to figure out what to tell me.

  “Growing up, my parents had me take piano lessons.” He shrugged. “I hated it at first, but after a while, I got used to the keys and really loved to play. It spoke to me in a way that nothing else did. Sports just weren’t my thing. Writing the music came later when I was in foster care. I needed a way to express my feelings since fighting everyone and everything was getting me nowhere. I’ve been doing it ever since.”

  I noticed that he seemed sad talking about it, but with the mention of his parents, I really wanted to know why he was put into foster care.

  “So you’re twenty-two and you’ve only had one boyfriend. Why?” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for me to answer.

  Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Kade. “Let’s just say I was more focused on my academics than letting some guy weasel his way into my pants. I knew at a young age that doing well in school could get me a scholarship to college and that going to college could get me a good job so I could get the hell out of Alabama.” I spoke more forcefully then I intended.

  He frowned at me. “It sounds like you didn’t have it too easy growing up.”

  “Is that a question or a statement?” I asked with a smile, and he laughed at me.

  “It was a statement, but you are more than welcome to make a comment about it.” He lifted an eyebrow at me, waiting to see if I would.

  I just shook my head and laughed. “No, life wasn’t easy growing up. Now it’s my turn.” I cleared my throat. “Why’d you get put in foster care?”

  The smile immediately dropped from his face and he frowned. Then he looked pissed as he glanced at the clock on the
wall and ran a hand through his hair. “Going right for the jugular, aren’t you?” he said, taking a deep breath.

  I felt horrible for even asking.

  “My parents died when I was eleven. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, so I entered the system. I was lucky enough to stay with the same foster parents until I was eighteen. Some kids aren’t so lucky.”

  I didn’t know how to reply to that. I couldn’t imagine going through it. There had been times when I wished child services would come take me away, but deep down I couldn’t do that to my mother. I was the only family she had left after my grandparents passed away.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Kade.”

  “It was a long time ago,” he said with a sad smile. “What about your parents? Why’d you want to get out of Alabama so bad?”

  I turned my body toward his and debated where I wanted to start. “Well, my father left when I was seven to marry his mistress, so I’ve only really had one parent.” I looked past Kade, who was in deep thought. “I still to this day do not understand how he could just leave me. It was like one day he was there, and then the next, he was gone. I used to ask my mother all the time why my dad never came to see me, and she would just say that he didn’t love us anymore, which for a seven-year-old, as you can imagine, was really hard.” I looked down and started picking at my fingernails as images of my past came back to me. It was hard talking about it, but I wanted Kade to know I didn’t have a perfect past either. “After my dad left, my mother was really depressed. She turned to any kind of alcohol that she could get her hands on to dull the pain. Looking back on it now, I know how hard it must have been for her to have this great family and then, all of a sudden, find out that your husband is cheating on you and then leaves.” I looked up at Kade with a shrug. “To make a long story short, growing up, my life wasn’t easy. My mother was an alcoholic and brought home losers every chance she got. I vowed to myself never to turn out like her. I wanted to be somebody, make something of myself. So when things didn’t work out with Trey, I called Jules. She’d been asking me to move up here, and I finally took her up on her offer.”