Aching To Exhale

by Debra Kayn

  A knock interrupted any further discussion. Raul went to the door. Crystal peered around his shoulder at old man Nichols. Dread making her knees weak.

  "Bikes are gassed up. Boys are ready—Nichols glanced at Crystal—everything is set up and waiting."

  "Good." Raul turned his back on Nichols and directed his attention to Crystal. "Just like we planned. Don't veer off course, understand?"

  She nodded, and in a brave show of confidence in what he was doing and hope that when it was over, they'd enter a new chapter in both their lives, she stepped to the side and closed the door on Nichols with a grin of apology.

  Then she dove at Raul, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. Tremors wracked her body, but she closed her eyes and held on to him without moving.

  "Mi vida, we need to go. We've been through—"

  "Sh." She inhaled, taking in the scent of leather, oil, and tobacco. "I want to remember how it feels to have your chest under my cheek, my hands on your body, and your smell…God, have I told you before how much I love how you smell? Even though I don't want you to smoke, I even love that, because it's a part of you. When I was gone, I'd pass men who smelled of cigarette smoke and my stomach would quiver, because it reminded me of you, even though it was different."

  "Crystal—"

  "You're the perfect size for me." She tightened her hold on him. "Our legs match in length, even though you're taller than me. Have you ever noticed that?"

  "I love your legs," he whispered.

  "But I really love your chest and back. Sometimes when you're lying on your stomach, I'll trace the fire and flames you have tattooed on your back and pretend it's a roadmap to your heart." She squiggled her finger over his chest. "If I can trace the design, the whole design, without lifting my finger, I'll magically open your heart. Then I'd walk in and curl up, never coming out."

  "You already have," he said. "Locked in tight."

  "I also love how you always touch me." She squeezed her eyes closed tighter. "I pretend I'm asleep at night, but I know you hold me. You're not even aware of it, because you reach for me in your sleep and tuck me against you without opening your eyes or changing your breathing. Then I lay there wide awake, just soaking in all the attention. I can never get enough of you. If you stopped touching me, I'd die. If I—"

  "Stop." He caressed her back.

  "You also sigh when you're frustrated with me. Sometimes I make you mad, just to hear you take that deep breath and tone down your attitude." Her voice broke. "We have great make-up sex too."

  "I will be back." He shifted her, and urged her to look up at him. When she did, his eyes softened. "I love you too. Everything you do keeps me going forward to you, with you, to continue loving you. There's no way in fucking hell, I'm not coming back to that, okay?"

  She nodded, sniffing the tears back and looking away. "'kay."

  The imprint of his body branded against her, she couldn't watch him walk away from her without losing it completely. She led them both down the stairs and into the main room. Holding her chin high, she accepted the hugs from the others—who believed she was going to visit a friend for a few days while Raul went on the ride. She let them believe she'd be back.

  Her heart steeled against the changes that the run for Garcia would bring her way. She leaned into Raul, kissed him quickly and turned away, following Nichols out the door.

  Nichols put his hand on her back to keep her moving. "You're doing good, girly."

  She nodded without saying a word or understanding how much Nichols understood of the dangers. Inside her head, she screamed for Raul to change his mind. They could run away from it all and hide. Even a week together before someone caught up with them was better than leaving him voluntarily.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Raul threw his leg off his Harley and strode straight to Garcia, who waited outside the designated meeting point— a private runway on the edge of the urban brawl of Los Angeles. To insure operations with Garcia went down without backlash, Raul planned to seal the deal without handing over Crystal.

  Garcia took in all the Lagsturns riders walking behind and out to the sides of Raul, and finally settled his gaze on him. "You're missing a very valuable piece of merchandise, my friend. We had an agreement."

  Raul steadied his weight on the heels of his boots. "Protecting my investment, amigo. You're asking for the most treasured possession I own. I'm putting my life up as collateral that you'll get my woman when the job is finished. Call it insurance, but I don't trust you."

  "Smart…" Garcia's gaze narrowed. "Although loco. I don't negotiate."

  Raul stretched his back, appearing lax when inside his gut rolled up tighter than a rusty piston at the mention of Crystal. "Then I walk."

  "Dead men have a hard time walking away," Garcia said, his voice quiet and firm.

  "And then our people go without women, and your contacts in the states go without their blow. I'm your lifeline on delivering both of your goods. I'm the one keeping you alive, so someday you can return to your familia in Mexico."

  Garcia held his gaze, then walked forward, around Raul, and weaved his way between the Lagsturns, looking each member over and finally stopping at the back of the group in front of Duck.

  Being tested, Raul moved over and leaned against the building, waiting Garcia out. Before they arrived, he'd rode with his men, nothing else. They all knew the job they were supposed to do and what he expected of them. They understood the consequences if Garcia's demands grew and trouble broke out. What he didn't do was warn them to go along with his story or to protect Crystal.

  Club rules required each of them to have their president's back. He counted on their loyalty to protect him and his old lady in case Garcia tried to sway their allegiance. Plotting or warning his men would've made them leery, and Garcia was smart enough to see right through his ploy.

  The pistol in the back waistband of his jeans burned his skin. His fingers itched to reach around and grasp the handle, cock the barrel, and end the nightmare he was walking into by gambling with his men's loyalty.

  "All right, men." Garcia stepped back from Duck. "Supplies are inside. My men will load them in the trailer."

  Raul stayed against the building as his men walked toward the heavy-duty diesel truck and trailer parked at the door of the hanger. When Garcia was the only man left, he nodded. "It'll take us eight hours to hit the Arizona border. I won't kill my men or the women we're transporting by going faster. I'll call and let it ring once if everything is going according to our plans. I'll let it ring three times if there's been a change in our route or we've ran into problems. Do not answer your phone regardless. I don't want a trail. When we reach our destination, I'll have my woman delivered to you."

  Garcia sniffed hard, pursing his mouth. Raul waited, and hoped the other man realized the smoking gun was pointed dead center at his chest.

  Garcia pulled out a green pouch out of his back pocket and handed it over. Raul accepted the package, unzipped it, and thumbed through the stack of bills. "This is half of what you owe me."

  "You'll get the rest of the money after I receive the girl." Garcia walked away, through the door, and disappeared inside.

  "Son of a bitch," Raul whispered, pocketing the pouch.

  He had no choice but to go through with the delivery, and hold off on calling in the situation to his contact at the bureau. He'd gone years without informing the federal agents assigned to the case from the outside on his plans. Trained to react on a moment's notice, he relied on their skills. One direct phone call from him, and he'd have backup to bring down Garcia and everyone involved within thirty minutes. Without the full amount he was owed, he'd also put the case in jeopardy.

  There were too many loopholes, too much danger, too much riding on bringing in the most important man in the Mafia on this side of the border over twenty-five thousand fucking dollars. He'd have to wait until he delivered the women and drugs.

  The metal cargo door slid s
hut with a bang. Raul walked over and stood at the back of the truck. Besides the wind whistling, his men remained quiet. The human cargo inside the trailer was also silent. Anger rolled through him. These were someone's daughter, sister, maybe even wife or girlfriend he planned to ship to Mexico, where their life would end.

  Some of them would survive, accept their new life as a sexual servant, and others either would end their own life or attempt to stand up for themselves and die. Disgust tasted bitter in his mouth. He'd heard the stories before, and seen with his own eyes what happens to them.

  Border patrol was a joke. The federal agents who were in charge of keeping everyone on the right side of the fence were overworked and low on numbers. There were holes in the system. It was his job to capture one of the men who created a hole tomorrow night and deliver the goods.

  "Ready to ride?" Raul glanced at the license plate on the truck. The tags were valid, the lights working. Barney, one of the Lagsturns members, borrowed the vehicle from his brother-in-law who drove long haul.

  "Yeah." Tango slipped on his gloves. "Let's get these bitches out of here."

  Raul clenched his teeth, lifted his arm, and circled the air. He'd deal with Tango later. "Let's roll."

  Within minutes, four riders pulled ahead of the truck. Big Joe, Duck, and Raul brought up the back. Raul pulled down his sunglasses as he sped up on the main road, heading south. It was going to be a long day, and all he wanted to do was call and find out if Crystal arrived to her destination safely. He wouldn't relax until he knew she was okay and tucked into hiding away from Garcia.

  ***

  Rain and Tori's magnificent two-story house in front of the Lewis River rose out of the surrounding woods. Crystal stared up at the familiar porch, her mouth open, and her mind whirling. Nichols had ignored her for the last fifteen minutes as she peppered him with questions once she recognized where he was taking her.

  "No way." She turned around and faced Nichols. "Take me back to the club."

  "Can't do, darlin'." Nichols moved closer. "Prez gave strict order that I was to bring you here. Do you think I wanted to set foot in Bantorus territory? Hell no!"

  If there was any hope she could outrun or fight to get away from him, it fled when she looked in his eyes. Steely blue eyes, almost gray, stared back at her intently. She might get fifty yards away from him, but he'd run her down with his truck or shot her with one of the pistols she knew he had on him. She recognized the resolve of following his president's orders, and for some reason Raul wanted her back with Rain.

  He'd given her away again.

  "Come with me, Crystal," Rain spoke behind her.

  She whirled around. "Take me anywhere, but here. I don't care where. Even the bar will do, but I'm not staying in your house."

  Rain had everything she wanted. A beautiful home, a loving spouse, a child to love.

  She stepped back as Rain stalked toward her. Nickels blocked her retreat, and Rain grasped her elbow, drawing her toward the garage. She peered over her shoulder, pleading silently with Nickels to step in and demand that Rain let her go, but the old man squared his shoulders and watched her go farther away from him. Then Nichols turned and climbed into his truck and backed out of the driveway.

  "Are you ready to listen to me and ride on the back of my bike, or do I have to strap you into one of the cages in the garage?" Rain pulled her around in front of him. "I'll tell you right now, Tori don't like the idea of you on my bike and neither do I, so give me one good reason why I shouldn't treat you like a citizen. It'll take twice as long to get where we're going in the cage."

  Her head came back a few inches at the insult, and she steeled herself. "I can ride."

  Damn him. He knew pissing her off would make her put up with him. At least on the back of his bike, Rain couldn't force her to hold up her side of the conversation, not that Rain ever talked much.

  Honestly, how could she not see how totally asshole-ish he was before now? She almost felt sorry for Tori, if she wasn't jealous about everything the woman had handed to her in life.

  Rain tossed her a helmet, forgoing one himself. She climbed on his motorcycle behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders. Rain's body quaked with unexpressed humor under her palms. She was being childish, but there was no way she'd wrap her arms around Rain with the chance of Tori watching from the house. She'd already encroached on Tori's property enough without adding fuel to the fire by touching her man.

  Once they hit the main road heading out of town, she had no choice by to plaster herself against his back to stay seated. A sense of relief came when he pulled out on the interstate, going out of town. She closed her eyes and relaxed a smidgeon. He headed out of Bantorus territory and not in.

  Mind numbed by the ride, Crystal slipped inside her head. She tried to imagine where Raul was on his trip to Arizona or if he'd ran into trouble. How would she go on if the cops arrested him? Would they believe he was a federal agent after being with the Lagsturns for almost a decade?

  When she couldn't stay quiet any longer about needing to use the restroom, Rain pulled into a house on a crowded street. She'd lost direction after they flew by Tacoma and headed east. The moment the kickstand hit the ground, she slid off the back of the bike.

  "Hang on," Rain said, getting off the bike.

  She shifted from one foot to the other. "I really need to use the bathroom."

  "Right." He grinned, and then grew serious. "This is where I end my part of Sanchez's plan. That means I have no control over what happens next, and that doesn't set right with me."

  "I'm not following you," she said.

  Rain gazed off into the distance. "This is serious, Crystal. I trust Raul. If he means anything to you, do what the others ask you to do."

  "Who?"

  Rain shook his head. "I don't know. I'm not involved in any of this. I'm clean. Now go to the front door, knock four times, and when the door opens, go inside."

  She stepped forward and put her hand on his arm. "Stay, please."

  The fear of what might happen inside the house and who waited for her overcame her street smarts of staying away from Tori's man. She blinked double time to keep the panic from showing.

  "Can't." He stepped away. "Go now. For Raul, sweetheart."

  Disappointed and frustrated over her lack of control in all this, she hurried along the walkway and stood in front of the door. She glanced over her shoulder, giving Rain one more chance to change his mind, but he remained sitting on his bike. She knocked against the wood four times.

  It wasn't that she wanted to run away and be on her own. She actually wanted someone else to have her back and help if Garcia sent men after her. Walking into a stranger's house, not knowing if they were on Raul's side or Garcia had wormed his men into the plan scared her.

  She'd met Garcia a few times, and each time she walked away knowing the man was a lot smarter than he let on. He was cold and calculating. Powerful men often came across as in control, until they snapped. She should know. Her father was the same way.

  If someone got on her dad's bad side, he'd verbally kill the person or brainwash them into believing they were going to hell. She let her chin drop to her chest and closed her eyes for a moment. Well, at least announce your death on national television and make their life hell.

  The door clicked and swung fully open. An arm reached out and yanked her inside before she had a chance to look at a face. She pulled her arm and stepped back, but the door slammed shut. She jerked her gaze to the person who'd grabbed her and covered her mouth, muffling her cry of relief.

  "Shit woman, you look like you're about to bawl." Jolene wrapped her arms around Crystal. "You have to tell me why I was ushered to the damn city, ordered to stay put, and then Nichols strolls in, out of breath and refusing to talk. He won't even let me use the phone to call Duck to see what the hell is going on."

  Crystal lifted her head and gazed over Jolene's shoulders. Nichols stood leaning against the entryway, arms crossed, left brow lifte
d. She kept her gaze on the old man and shrugged. "I don't know. I thought maybe you'd tell me."

  Jolene blew out her lips. "Dammit. I bet we're in lockdown."

  "I think so too." Crystal stepped farther into the room. "I really need to use the bathroom though. It was a long trip, and I drank two cups of coffee before I left."

  "Top of the stairs, first door on your right." Nichols pointed. "Don't bother looking in the other rooms for a phone. I've disconnected them all."

  She ignored the added information and headed straight to the bathroom. The only thing on her mind was finding relief. Then she'd figure out her next move. If Raul informed Nichols and Jolene about what was going on, maybe she could figure out a way to find out if Raul was okay and how the job was going. That alone gave her hope and thankful she wasn't alone.

  Chapter Twenty

  By the end of the day, it was clear Jolene had no idea why Duck sequestered her in lockdown with Nichols. Crystal stifled a yawn. The old man gave her nothing to hint that he knew what Raul was doing, except completing a job.

  Nichols followed orders and took his position of keeping her in hiding to heart. There was nothing she could do to sway him from his post inside the house, but wait.

  "I'm stuffed." Jolene plopped down on the corner of the couch and put her hands on her stomach. "I have to say that for a lockdown, the kitchen is stocked with some killer food. Besides the lack of company—not that you two aren't a barrel of laughs—this beats a lockdown at the club. At least we don't have to keep getting up to serve the men drinks like we normally do."

  "No beer." Nichols scratched his chest. "No phones. No freedom. Damn old age. I should be riding with my brothers."

  Crystal curled her legs up in the chair. "You could hook up one of the phones and call the club. Someone must be there that knows where the men are and how they're doing."

  Nichols glared. "No pre-paid."

  "Then call Theresa or Roxanne, and have one of them contact their man on the club's phones," Crystal said.