by Lisa Swallow
Will flops next to Jax and I take a seat opposite the golden couple.
“Don’t be freaked out,” calls Tegan over the music.
“I’m not. I’m okay.” Overwhelmed, but okay.
“Have a drink.” She turns her head. “Hey! Will! Get Fleur a drink.”
I smile to myself as he dutifully heads off to the bar. I’m here, in his circle, but at the edge. Will isn’t in sight anymore, and Nate’s female friend from outside now sits next to him, Nate’s attention focused on her. He pushes hair from the girl’s neck and whispers something in her ear. She slaps his leg; Nate catches her hand and kisses it. As if sensing my scrutiny, Nate looks over and I quickly look away.
“You sure you don’t want a real drink?” asks Will as he places a glass of coke on the table in front of me.
“Maybe later.”
“Cool.”
The table fills with people I don’t know; some Will introduces me to, others he doesn’t seem to know either.
The more people who join us, the easier this becomes. Will remains with me and I relax as the number around the table pushes me further into the background. He’s right; there’s no difference between my Will and Ruby Riot Will. He hasn’t taken on a persona. This guy, like me, is a take it or leave it person.
I compare him to Nate, who definitely has the persona. In the past, I’ve seen pictures and heard stories that Will was the same, but I’ve noticed subtle changes in the time I’ve known him. The self-assured joker is still here; but dropping his attitude leads to a relaxed Will, and not the idiot who accosted me at the party three months ago.
I’ve dropped my guard too. The world isn’t as black and white as I thought; university doesn’t automatically create cultured, intelligent people who are above others. I always compartmentalised people, and my judgement of character is way off the mark.
Why else would I lock myself into Will’s life and risk a relationship with a man far removed from the ideal I set myself before I came to London?
Because he is that man. Will’s right. Our surfaces don’t matter, what’s beneath does. Underpinning our relationship is respect and a growing love for each other. In a year, five years, ten years, we’ll be different people shaped by experience; but the heart of who we are will remain the same.
The heart and soul resting at the centre of who we are has recognised another and found a place to belong.
****
The number surrounding us grows by the hour; people vie to be part of the band’s company. Ruby doesn’t show and I haven’t met her yet. Will has told me about the dynamics of the band and I’m unsure I’d like Ruby. Or that she’d like me.
As the evening progresses, Will’s humour kicks in and he hams up everything for his audience with his brother. If this included any teasing of me, I wouldn’t be happy; but this side of Will is part of what drew me to him. He and Nate also relax further around each other and their affinity becomes clearer with their banter. Nate lets go of the animosity around me; maybe I’m oversensitive and imagined some of his dislike.
After a visit to the bathrooms, I approach the edge of the dance floor, ready to head back to the table. Somebody bumps into me striding in the opposite direction. I stumble as the bulk of the guy knocks me sideways in his hurry. He stops and steadies me, his hand on my arm.
“Sorry, sweetheart.”
“No problem.”
The man’s hand remains on my arm and I look up. He’s smiling, in a lopsided way with unfocused eyes. “What’s your name?”
“Fleur.”
“Hey, Fleur. I’m Adam.”
“Hello.” I move from his touch, and walk away.
“Hey! Fleur!”
Adam catches up with me and I stop again. The drunk smile continues. This guy is tall and his bulk intimidates me, even if he’s not deliberate.
“You wanna drink?”
“I’m okay, thank you. I’m with somebody.”
Adam scratches his head and looks around. We’re at the edge of the dancers, the music louder and I can’t hear what he’s saying. I gesture in the direction of my table and he frowns in confusion. Smiling and nodding at the words I can’t hear, I attempt to walk away again; but Adam steps in front of me.
“Excuse me!” I say.
“One drink, c’mon.”
I lean towards him in the hope he hears me above the music. “I said I’m with somebody. Thank you for the offer.”
As I draw away, he stumbles slightly. “So?”
Again, I attempt to walk away. This time he grabs my hand.
“Let go!” I snap and pull my hand away.
When I turn my head again, I see Will’s figure striding towards us. He stops short and looks at our hands.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Adam wanted to buy me a drink, and I was explaining I had a –”
My sentence is interrupted by Will stepping between me and Adam, the two men practically nose to nose. “She’s not interested, mate.”
“Jeez, okay. Calm down, man.”
Will shoves him in the chest. “Leave her alone.”
“I only asked her if she wanted a drink!”
A cold fear trickles down my spine as Adam changes his mind and steps up to Will. No way, Will…
“Will!” I grab his hand. “Not this again!”
“Are you okay? Did he touch you?”
“Only my hand.”
Will pushes Adam harder in the chest. “You don’t touch chicks unless they want you to! I suggest you piss off and leave her alone!”
“Get your hands off me,” Adam snarls in reply.
“Will, it was nothing. Come on. He hasn’t done anything.”
Will turns his head. “Did he hit on you? Try to touch you? Yeah?” He misreads my speechless response. “Well, whatever happened, you don’t look happy.”
The lights in the club flash across Will’s face, highlighting his deep frown. I’m beginning to recognise this expression; and after witnessing for the third time, his behaviour pattern worries me.
“We need to talk,” I call above the music.
Will turns back to Adam, who has blended into the crowd away from us. I stomp back into the quiet hallway between the dance floor and the bathrooms.
I spin around. “You need to stop doing that.”
Will crosses his arms. “All I’m doing is warning people not to upset you. I don’t like seeing you upset.”
“By threatening them?”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t do anything; they back off.”
“Until the day they don’t. You can’t be aggressive toward people and not expect them to retaliate.”
“They never do.”
“Are you listening? They don’t retaliate yet. Somewhere like this trouble is more likely; you’re both drunk!”
“I’m okay.”
He’s exasperating in his refusal to accept this behaviour is wrong and I need to know what I’m dealing with in Will. “Have you ever hit anybody?”
“Only Nate.”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly. Okay, I shouldn’t get in people’s faces; but I care about what happens to you. If anybody laid a finger on you…”
His eyes harden and I dread to think what’s going through his mind. Shaun is in mine, an image of him cornering me against the wall. God knows what Will would do if he knew about Shaun.
“Next time you pull a stunt like that on me, I’m walking away, Will. It’s one step towards possessiveness, and I definitely won’t allow that.”
His mouth pulls up at one corner. “Sometimes the way you talk is funny. You ‘won’t allow’.”
“I’m serious!”
“I know. I wouldn’t treat you like I own you, but I don’t think I can let go of the protective thing.” He envelops me in his arms and his mouth seeks mine, a soft kiss as he holds me tightly to him. “I don’t know why; I think it’s because I never felt like this about a girl before, and sometimes it’s confusing and out
of control.”
A new panic rises. Will is confusing, and is he out of control?
In Will’s arms, I am protected, and there’s a part buried that loves his strength and how this is tempered by his gentle nature. Tonight I saw his world again and, although I’m not normally shy, the environment was uncomfortable. I’m on the edge. I don’t fit. Is fitting Will enough?
Chapter Thirty-Four
FLEUR
We catch a taxi back to mine, and he’s quiet on the way into the house. Anne is home and waves at us from the kitchen where she’s making late night, instant noodles. Anne swears by them as an anti-hangover cure if she eats them before she goes to bed. I decline her offer to share, but Will joins her.
I’ve had a few drinks, but I’m not drunk enough to eat that crap.
Anne stumbles out of the kitchen with her noodles and a glass of water, while Will rests against the kitchen counter forking noodles into his mouth. “Not hungry?” he asks.
“Not for those.”
“Bet they taste better than your kin…thingy crap.”
“Quinoa. You never tried it.”
“And I’m not gonna.”
I walk over to him and tiptoe to place my lips on his. “Are you staying tonight?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Stupid question.” I run my tongue along his lips. “You taste of those horrible noodles.”
Will sets down the bowl and wraps an arm around my waist. “And you taste all kinds of amazing.” He moves his lips across my face and whispers. “All of you.”
At Will’s words, the heat from his mouth is matched by an ache for his touch. Our mouths meet in a crushing kiss, the hot spice from the noodles on my tongue. I slide my hands beneath his shirt, and dig my fingers into his lower back as I push myself against him. Since last night, all I’ve wanted is more of Will and judging by the passion of Will’s kiss, he feels the same.
“You trying to get into my pants again?” he asks.
“Yes.”
He slides a hand beneath my dress, large palm on my ass. “I never expected you to be like this.”
“Like what?” I drag my fingers around to the waistband of his jeans.
“Forward.”
“Why? Because you thought I was a nerdy girl who only reads history books? I told you before, in this very room, that I like sex.” I flick open the button on his jeans. “I just chose guys who didn’t know what they were doing.”
“And I do?”
“You know damn well you do.”
“Hmm.” He grips my hips and pulls me into him, squashing my hand against where I was about to unzip his jeans. “Which part?”
“All of it,” I murmur and delve my tongue into his mouth again. Pulling my hand from between us, I press Will against the counter.
Will catches my arms. “You gonna start this here?”
“Yes.”
Will spins me around, grabs my waist, and sits me on the bench. His mouth closes over mine, hot and hungry, hand beneath my dress digging into my thighs. I’m dizzied by the force of his passion, and he tugs at the zipper of my dress with the other hand. There’s no gentle Will tonight.
Will pushes down both straps of my dress and snaps open my bra; I arch toward him as he pulls my nipple into his mouth, holding my waist tight. Desperate to feel his skin against mine, I push at his shirt until his warm strength rubs against my skin. Will pauses to drag his shirt off and then presses himself harder between my thighs.
His arousal rubs my panties through his jeans, and sets off the familiar shoot of lightning-heat along my nerve endings. I’ve had an evening of kisses and touches, watched rock star Will on stage, and my dampened down arousal lets loose now we’re finally alone.
I grasp at his belt with shaking fingers and he pushes my hands to one side, breathing heavily against my ear. In a swift movement, Will drags my panties to the floor and runs a finger along the sensitive flesh. I shift so he can reach me better, and as Will pushes a finger inside me, I sink back and hit my head on Anne’s empty bowl. When I push it out of the way, the bowl falls to the floor with a crash.
Will laughs and leans into me. “Shush!”
“Hurry up then.”
“You’re a bit bloody demanding,” he says and nips my lip.
Again, I attempt to undo his jeans and this time succeed. He’s hot and ready in my hands. I’ve already lost any chance at decorum here and wriggle away from his hand, before sliding the tip of him along my wet heat. Where Will’s other arm props him up on the counter, he slips and a glass falls into the sink. “Jesus, Fleur! Wait.”
Reality seeps in as Will steps back. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom. “Always prepared?” I ask.
“Seems like that could be sensible with you around.” He watches me through darkened eyes as he rolls the condom onto himself, the seconds of delay frustrating the hell out of me.
The second he’s done, I grab his waist and pull him close. We meet gazes, and I curl a shaking hand into his hair as he slides himself against my clit. No words are needed, this is happening now and we’re not holding back Will pushes hard inside me, and my other arm gives up holding me upright and I fall back against the bench again. More crockery crashes. I’m pulled upright, Will gripping my back so I can’t move as his pace picks up. Hard, fast, uncontrolled.
“Stop. Trashing. The kitchen,” he gasps out.
I hitch a leg around Will’s waist and shift so he hits the spot I need, the movement of his hips bumping my clit. I cling to him, matching his pace, head buried into his shoulder. I don’t care where I am. I’m unaware of everything but the frenzied lust and need between us. As the pressure builds and I reach out for the orgasm I’ve craved all day, I breathe out words, which become louder as the seconds pass.
“Shh!”
I blink back to Will. “What?”
“You.” Will’s lips meet mine and our tongues dance in a rhythm to match our bodies. I pull my mouth away, can’t breathe, edging closer, and the white light blinds with sudden intensity as I come. Surprised by the strength, I stifle a scream by sinking my teeth into Will’s shoulder.
He swears and increases the speed, panting against my ear. Will loses himself as I continue to move against him, seeking more, and the pleasure ripples through again. Will grips my ass as I tighten around him and he comes, groaning.
Our bodies remain tangled on the counter as we calm back to the real world. We kiss gently, stroke, touch; but my body is still smouldering from the intensity and isn’t about to calm soon. “Take me to bed,” I murmur against Will’s ear.
His soft breath tickles my shoulder as he laughs. “I think you’re a bit late in asking that.”
****
I snuggle against Will, and enjoy the heat he radiates from our passion downstairs. I think we managed to pick up all our clothes, and I sleepily decide to check in the morning. Too tired.
“You were uncomfortable with the band tonight, weren’t you?” Will asks.
“A little.”
“I understand. Things are overwhelming.”
“And this is when you’re only a bit famous.”
Will twists a strand of my hair around his finger. “A bit?” he laughs.
“No, I mean things will become more intense.”
“Yeah, I know.” He drops my hair and turns on his side to look at me. “That’s why you’re so important to me. I’ve told you before - with you, life is calm.”
I stroke his cheek. “Calm? What we just did wasn’t very calm.”
“Oh. Yeah. Definitely don’t want to be calm with you in that way.” He nips my lip. “Life’s mad, the band intense, and my brother… well, he’s hard work at the moment. I can escape with you, into us.”
“That’s sweet.”
Will grimaces. “Don’t ever use that word about me!”
“I won’t tell anybody.” I trace my tongue along his lips. “Party boy Will Campbell is a sweetheart.”
“Ugh! Stop.�
�
I giggle. “It’s not an insult, Will. You’re a great guy who loves and respects the girl in his life, and tells her.”
He grunts. “That’s not sweet; that’s honesty and how people should be treated. I’m a world away from the direction I was headed. With you, I’m me and I won’t lose sight of him.” He kisses me softly. “I started to. You know, lose him, I mean.”
“I know. I heard and saw. But who wouldn’t behave like that in your position?” I bite my lip, not wanting to confess I’m worried he’ll become bored of what I represent, the way he left behind his studies again.
“Yeah, but this is real, Fleur. I’m more me when I’m with you.”
“Every day you surprise me more, Will.”
“I’m a Campbell twin; it’s my job.” He pulls me onto him and my hair hangs into his face.
“No, you’re not. You’re Will.”
“Like I said, more me when I’m with you.”
As he kisses me, something that had never occurred to me pushes in. The world knows the Campbell twins as if they’re one entity, but they’re not. Is part of his struggle an attempt to find who he is? Not only is his life being framed by his role as Ruby Riot bassist, but also he’s defined as a ‘Ruby Riot twin’. He isn’t like Nate. He’s Will and a different person to the role he’s assigned.
Chapter Thirty-Five
FLEUR
We don’t emerge from my bedroom until late afternoon, and that was only because we ordered pizza. Anne looks up from her laptop as I walk into the room.
“Oh, you are alive then?” She quirks a brow.
“Just… um… taking a day out.”
“Right. I did wonder if Will had murdered you, I mean with all the screaming…” Anne fights down a smile and looks back at her work.
“I do not scream!” I say with horrified indignation. Do I?
“No, of course not.” The smile grows, as I’m sure the pink does on my cheeks.