Lost

by Jennifer Davis

  “So where’s Jack today? He’s not helping you pack?” Meredith asks me, sliding her empty wine glass toward me.

  “Working, as usual,” I sigh. “Well technically he’s flying back from a work trip, he should be landing soon. But he was great this week, even came over and packed some stuff for me when I had to work late,” I say gleaming, while I twist the wine cork from the bottle. My phone makes a beeping noise from two feet away on the kitchen counter, and I see a new message from Jack.

  “Well speak of the devil,” Emma says, catching a glimpse of my illuminated phone.

  Just landed. How’s the packing going?

  Pretty good! Emma and Mere and here helping me, should be wrapped up in a few hours.

  Great! Just got an email from Max, said he’s in town just for tonight and wanted to see what we’re doing.

  What? You’ve got to be kidding me. Way to ruin my perfect, happy moving day with my lovely boyfriend by throwing that distraction into the mix.

  “Eee!” Emma shrieks from across the room.

  “What is it?” Mere and I question in unison.

  “Max just texted me, said he’s in town for tonight and wanted to see about a double date tonight!” she exclaims gleefully.

  “Well that’s very last minute and presumptuous of him,” Meredith snaps. “If he wants to spend time with you he really should have given you more notice,” she warns.

  “Yeah, I know. But beggars can’t be choosers and it’s not like I’m tied up on a date tonight, so why not?”

  “Well you don’t want to seem desperate. You should make him work for it.” Emma’s eyes roll back at Meredith.

  “In a perfect world, fine, but he’s too hot to pass up so I’ll let it slide.”

  “Or let him slide in and out of you?” Meredith jokes and I punch her with my eyes. I watch her face redden as she silently mouths an apology to me.

  “Come on. You know I didn’t sleep with him last time,” Emma assures us.

  “So really, what did happen last time?” I finally ask her the question that’s been burning in the back of my mind for weeks.

  “We kissed,” she glows as she recalls it. “But he was a gentleman. I was quite disappointed in fact that he didn’t try a little harder. So, Jess, what do you say? Double date? Puhlease? Be a friend and give me an excuse to see that Lusty man.”

  Fuck. What can I say? And what the fuck is wrong with me? I love Jack. I love Jack. I love Jack. Max is just a fantasy. Was. Was just a fantasy that simply needs to be replaced by a new one.

  I see the curiosity overtake Meredith’s face, awaiting my response. “Well, Jack and I were actually just planning a quiet night at home to celebrate the start of our cohabitation”—I pause, seeing Emma’s face drop—“but I’m sure Jack won’t mind if you join us. I’ll ask him now.”

  “Oh, that would be awesome! Thanks, Jess!”

  Meredith catches my eyes as Emma turns around to type away into her phone. I shrug my shoulders at her. After all, what am I supposed to do? Emma isn’t the best secret-keeper around, so I don’t dare extend my near indiscretions with Max to her.

  I quickly type a response to Jack.

  Yeah, he texted Emma as well. Double date at your house? I’m sure I can stretch our dinner to feed two more.

  I hit send and take another long drink. Seriously, why can’t I get away from this man?

  ***

  The familiar ring of Jack’s doorbell chimes into my ears as I stand outside of his house for the final time as a visitor. I hear the sound of Jack’s feet shuffling before the dark, stained wood door swings open, revealing my handsome, grinning roommate. “Hey, babe! I missed you,” he says, giving me a minty fresh kiss. His hair is damp, and skin soft and moist, the telltale signs that he just showered. He’s wearing his dark but perfectly faded William Rast jeans, my favorite on him. His dark blue T-shirt perfectly accentuates his strong chest and arms, without coming across as a guy trying too hard to show off his body.

  “No more ringing the doorbell, next time you use your key since you’re not a guest!” Jack says to me, helping me with my belongings.

  “Ok,” I relent. “So I can’t ring you to help when my hands are full?” I ask, realizing I’m setting foot into my new home. Or, our home? Such a strange idea. The home of my boyfriend where I now live and pay no rent. You know, just a modern-day, live-in hooker. I will live here and have sex with him, and he’s paying me for my services with free rent. Stop it Jess, he loves you for God’s sake! My subconscious snaps back at me. I know she’s right, but it’s going to take some getting used to.

  ***

  After unpacking my clothes, I take a quick shower, and come out to hear soft jazz playing down the hallway. I tiptoe into his study while he focuses on his work. The clicking of the keyboard is rapid, and Jack’s face is firmly concentrating on the work on his screen in front of him. I watch him for a moment, noticing how handsome he is, and remembering how lucky I am to have him. A slight layer of scruff has formed on his face, indicating he skipped his morning shave today. His rimless glasses add an air of sophistication, intelligence, and hotness to him. He pauses for a moment and takes the final sip of the dark liquid in his crystal rocks glass.

  “Can I get you a refill?” I ask, interrupting his thoughts.

  A big smile spreads across his face and the furrow in his brow disappears. “Hey. I’d love one. Is this one of the perks of living together?”

  “Well it just might be…if you keep spoiling me I’ll be more likely to return the favor.” I giggle, walking toward him. I slide my arms around his neck and peer onto his screen, seeing a half-written email staring back at me. “Do you have a lot of work to finish tonight?”

  “I’ll stop soon, just trying to get down my thoughts from our meetings this week before they evade me.”

  “I hope I’m not too much of a distraction,” I purr into his ear, placing my lips onto his neck, and then nibbling my way up to his earlobe.

  “Mmm this type of distraction I’m ok with,” he says, spinning his chair around to face me.

  “Good. I was hoping you could spare a few minutes for me,” I say, climbing onto his lap. I slide my legs to the back of his chair, pulling my body close to his. The scent of scotch rolls from his mouth, and my lips covet his. My tongue pushes into his mouth while Jack’s hands slide easily down my satin robe. He traces the curves of my waist and hips through the fabric before finding my skin. The fabric inches upward and he glides his hands across my bare bottom, working his way toward me. My legs are spread against his stomach, and I feel his growing desire push against me. His arms wrap tightly around me and then he stands up, my legs holding tightly while he maneuvers. He spins me around, pushing aside the keyboard and then sets me on his strong wooden desk. Mmmm. As I wiggle backwards to balance myself into place, he removes his T-shirt, exposing his toned body before me. I tug at the button on his jeans, desperate to find my prize that hides beneath the denim. While I work to free him, Jack pulls the tie of my robe, and the fabric falls open easily, exposing my naked body. His erection bulges from beneath his boxers and I slide down the remaining barrier between us. My right hand caresses his sexiest muscle, and I can feel the blood rushing through there. Jack slips two of his fingers into my mouth, and I swirl my tongue around them. He draws them out slowly, and then gently parts my body below, inching one finger easily inside of me. My body is wet and wanting, and my hips cradle inward with the movement of his fingers, aching for more. He watches my expression, and my sultry gaze tells him I’m ready for more. Another finger slips inside of me, and my hips move more quickly, responding to his touch. Jack bends forward, and his mouth moves over my breast in expert fashion, sucking and then gently tugging on my nipple with his teeth.

  His mouth slips across my chest to the other side, ensuring each breast gets equal attention. I squirm as he teases me, feeling the heat building inside of me, and my patience wanes. I move his hand from inside of me and pull my hips forward to the
edge of the desk, then grab Jack’s body, moving it into me. He slides right in, and he begins moving slowly in and out, and in and out, until my body can fully accept him. He moves gently at first, and with each thrust I feel him hit my bullseye, and my body heats even more.

  Jack pulls himself forward and wraps an arm around me to steady me before he quickens his pace. The speed forces me to shift my arms backward to keep from falling over. I brace myself for each movement, and Jack’s pleasuring doesn’t relent. His mouth moves to my neck, sending tingles down my body, and then he kisses his way down to my breasts, and I can barely take it. I lift one arm to guide his speed, and I pull him toward me faster and faster, feeling his butt tighten with each push forward. My fingers grab into him tightly as my body begs for release. He senses my urgency and speeds his movements, everywhere. His tongue speeds faster across my breasts, and he pushes into me more quickly with each movement. My body begins to shake, trembling around him, and he looks up as he senses my closeness. I wipe a bead of sweat from his brow and kiss him hard, and the sensation of his lips on mine is enough to send me over the edge. I convulse around him, and feel his body release into mine.

  ***

  My cheeks are still flushed from my recent tryst, so I barely need any blush as I apply my makeup. I decide to go with a shimmery brown eyeshadow with dark green eyeliner that draws out the sparse flecks of green in my eyes. I add some mascara and coral pink lip gloss while my old-school curlers set my hair.

  I slip into my dark fitted skinny jeans, a jade silk blouse, and a tall pair of black heels, set with big leather cross straps across my feet. The shoes are definitely on the edgier side of my style, but tonight I’m feeling extra frisky. Having just spread my legs for my new live-in boyfriend, I force my brain to remove all thoughts of the living, breathing Mr. Lust that I have to watch on a date with my best friend tonight.

  I meander into the kitchen and Jack is standing over the counter, expertly slicing bread for our appetizers.

  “Need a hand?” I ask, sliding my arms around him with a loving embrace. His head turns over his shoulder and he strains his head backward to give me a kiss. He lays the knife and bread on the counter so he can turn and give me his full attention.

  “You look beautiful, babe. Should I expect you to dress up like this for dinner every night?” I laugh at the thought. I’m going to have to ease him in to my habit of coming home and immediately changing into house clothes.

  “Maybe if you cook for me like this every night,” I offer.

  “Hmm, that might be worth the effort,” Jack says eyeing my tight outfit. “Can you take care of the meat and cheese plate? I’ll grab you a glass of wine.”

  “Sure.” I watch him walk away into the dining room to grab a wine glass from the bar. He strides easily in his dark jeans and light blue button-up. His sleeves are folded to his elbows, and accented with a tan belt and woven leather shoes of the same color. I arrange the prosciutto, along with some brie and manchego, then gather some nuts and fruit to complete the platter.

  “Sauvignon blanc?” Jack says, passing me a full glass.

  “Yes, please.” I gratefully accept it. My earlier wine high has almost completely faded, leaving me fully sober, save my post-sex buzz.

  Jack raises his own glass in the air. “I’m thrilled to have you here. Here’s to making memories and sharing a home together, for what I hope is many years to come. I love you, Jess.” His words are short and to the point, but filled with hope and love, and big enough to tug at my heart.

  “Cheers to that. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I love you too.” I look into his eyes as I say the words; our feelings radiate between one another. We clink our glasses together and barely have time to finish a sip before the doorbell chimes through the house.

  “I’ll get it,” Jack says, releasing me. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Why the hell do I care so much? I absentmindedly adjust my hair, smoothing it perfectly in front of my shoulders. My tongue runs across my teeth, checking for any rogue lip gloss while Jack answers the door.

  “Hey, Jack, buongiorno!” I hear his beautiful accent sing through the house and I clutch my wine for a long drink. I peer through the dining room and get a glance of my two favorite men shaking hands. Mr. Lust is beautifully dressed in in dark gray linen pants and a crisp white shirt. His normally tan skin looks even darker, revealing time recently spent in the sun.

  “Hey, come on in,” Jack says, extending the door open for him.

  “I brought some wine for us. I know you like scotch, but I thought the women would like this more.”

  “This is great. Thanks. Come on in.”

  “This is such a great neighborhood. So many trees, and so close to everything. I can see why you chose it.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been pretty happy here,” Jack says, escorting him through the house and into the kitchen.

  “Can I get you a drink?” I ask, bravely entering the kitchen instead of watching from afar. Lust turns his head toward me, locking his eyes with mine and I feel as though my vagina gasps. I’m like an awe-struck teenager, unable to mask my likeness of him. Sensing my flushed cheeks, I walk quickly into the dining room to prevent Jack from noticing.

  “Hi, Jess. Nice to see you. How are you?”

  “Doing well, thank you. I was just finishing up some hors d’oeuvres for us,” I explain. “Can I get you guys a drink?”

  “Jess, baby, I’ll take care of that. You’ve been on your feet all day. Have a seat with our guest and I’ll get the drinks.” Jack slides past me, placing his hands on my hips and giving me a squeeze as he walks by. Lust smiles back at me, enjoying my obvious discomfort.

  “Please, after you.” He gestures his hand out and I take in those long, strong fingers as I walk past him toward the sofa. The memory of them stroking the most delicate parts of my body seems all too real, so I quickly tear my eyes away. I settle into the sofa, facing Mr. Lust in a matching leather chair across from me. The darkness in his eyes has a twinkle and I pull my eyes down to avoid catching his magic stare.

  “Are you in town for business again?” I question him.

  “Yes. Just until Monday, you know I never get to stay in one place for too long.”

  “Are you staying at the St. Regis again?” I ask, continuing the questions to prevent my mind from going there.

  “No, I’m at the Four Seasons this time. Figured I would try somewhere new.” He responds matter-of-factly. “So you’ve been on your feet all day?” he asks me.

  “Oh, well I spent the day cleaning out my old apartment and moving stuff out.”

  “Where is your new place?”

  I pause for a moment, realizing he hasn’t yet pieced together that I’m now living with Jack.

  “She’s living here now,” Jack says proudly, passing Max his glass of scotch.

  “Oh. That’s great!” he manages, his response seeming to overcompensate for his true feelings. I see the expression on his face change completely. The cocky, confident Mr. Lust I saw last time now looks somewhat sullen, but he tries to force a smile to hide it. The giveaway is his eyes, the sparkle has faded even when he plasters a grin across his face. “Really, congratulations.”

  Jack sits down next to me on the sofa and gives me a loving squeeze on the knee, catching my eye and grinning ear to ear. He really is happy to have me here, and I’m happy to be here, but my heart breaks with Max’s expression. What is it about this man that I can’t let go of?

  twenty-six

  “Who’s ready for dessert?” I ask the attendees of our dinner party.

  “I couldn’t eat another bite, Jess,” Emma responds, her words beyond irritating given she’s barely touched her food, seemingly trying to impress Max. It’s a phenomenon I’ve never understood, other than being a cheap date, why would a guy want to date someone who doesn’t eat? I mask my irritation with a smile and turn to the men.

  “Anyone else?” I say, standing to clear the plates from the table.

  “Why don
’t we give ourselves a break and have it a little later?” Jack suggests.

  “Ok. More wine in the meantime?”

  “Yes, I’ll take some!” Emma immediately chirps, again grating on my nerves. I fight the urge to use the steak knife in my hand to jab her in the eye. Good idea, don’t eat and get really drunk so you can just screw the sexy Italian man. The bitter thoughts ring through my mind. I want to be happy for my friend, happy that she’s having fun on a date, in Jack’s – rather, our – house, with a guy she really likes.

  “Let me help you, Jess,” Max offers, standing with me. I start to say no, but I wouldn’t mind getting him away from Emma for a moment.

  “Thanks,” I say politely.

  Max follows me into the kitchen, and for a moment I lament that my own boyfriend didn’t offer to help. It is his house after all, he should be playing the host. Stop with the petty bitterness! I scold myself, unable to handle the jealousy surrounding a man who isn’t and never was mine.

  “This dinner was delicious, thank you.” Max smiles as I turn around from the kitchen sink.

  “Oh, thanks. Glad you liked it.” He hands me a plate to rinse and as I reach for it our fingers touch, and the quick connection with his skin electrifies me. We’ve barely spoken directly to each other since he learned of my new living situation just hours ago. His eyes catch mine and I know he feels it too. I quickly grab the plate and turn back around to the sink to rinse it.

  “Where do you keep the wine?”

  “Oh, it’s back there, in the wine fridge.” He glances off to the far end of the kitchen. “Here, I’ll show you.” I turn off the faucet and face him bravely. We walk into the back of the kitchen, a part not viewable from the dining room. I hear Emma and Jack laughing and chatting away in the other room. “What do you think, another white? Or should we switch to red?” I try to ask calmly.