Lost

by Jennifer Davis

  “What?” he nearly shouts, raising his arms into the air. I laugh at his inner Italianness and his overly dramatic motions. “You’re unbelievable. Ok? Don’t doubt that. Ever.” His words become almost angry with my self-doubt.

  “Ok,” I respond, embracing the vote of confidence from my beautiful man.

  “Ok,” he says, wrapping his arms around me and tugging me into his lap. My heart races at the warm, caring embrace. “Do I need to show you how I feel?” His quick change into a seductive tone flips my mind from serious to sexual thoughts in an instant. I simply nod my head, wanting him even more after our exchange. He leans into me, burying his head in my neck, then planting his lips just where my shoulders meet my neck.

  The pull for him shoots through me and I pull his mouth to mine. Our tongues connect in a combined “I really like you and I’m really attracted to you” fashion. His hand runs up my outer thigh, having easy access beneath my dress. I want to be his, and have him now, but am unsure of where this can go, given our surroundings.

  “Oh my God,” he whispers into my ear, placing his lips on the edge of them, tugging gently. “Bella, I want to take you here and now,” he says matter-of-factly, sending my mind racing at the idea. “But I know we can’t. Not here.” He has a red tone in his cheeks, and I’m quite pleased with myself that I can visibly see how much I’ve worked him up.

  “I know,” I concede, disappointed that I can’t make love to him here and now. “Will you be able to wait until we get to our room?” I tease him.

  “Not if you keep kissing me.”

  “You mean like this?” I plant my lips on him again, this time in a slow, sensual manner, using my teeth to lightly slide his bottom lip between them. I fall further into his kiss, and his arms for the beginning of another amazing and memorable night together.

  forty-three

  My eyes pop open, and I find myself wide awake and eager to get out of bed. Knowing it’s my last day, and more importantly my last night here in China, I want to embrace every second of it. Of him. I peer over at my Lust, and see that he’s sound asleep, sprawled out on his stomach and clutching his pillow tightly beneath his head. I couldn’t have imagined that just days ago when I learned I was coming here, that I’d be spending a mind-blowing week with him. I tiptoe into the bathroom, hoping the sound from my white noise app is loud enough to mask my plans. I quickly hop in the shower, giving myself a quick scrub to wash away the city film I’m sure I absorbed the night before.

  I towel myself off and tie a robe loosely around me, leaving about a gap of skin peeking out the middle. I glance in the mirror and notice the obscenely dark circles under my eyes. When lying in bed next to a man as delicious as Max, it’s impossible to go to sleep, and now my reflection confirms both my lack of sleep and my attraction to him. I consider putting on concealer to cover my visible fatigue, but decide the bedroom is dark enough that he shouldn’t notice. And hopefully he’ll be looking elsewhere than under my eyes. I play with the tightness of the robe’s belt, but then come up with an even better idea. I remove the belt, tying it tightly around my waist with a big bow in the front. The hotel-provided men’s robe gives me enough slack to tie myself into the perfect present for unwrapping. I then pull the robe tightly around me, concealing my bow, and tiptoe back into the bedroom.

  I hover over Lust for a moment before waking him. His heart-shaped lips are relaxed and ready for kissing, his eyes closed, looking peaceful and content. I lean forward and place my hand on the side of his face, feeling his morning scruffiness. I gently slide the outside of my hand against his skin, and give him a gentle kiss just outside the corner of his mouth. “Morning,” I say quietly, in a near whisper, realizing I don’t really know how he likes to be woken up, if at all.

  “Mmm, good morning, bella.” He slowly rolls over onto his side so he can face me. “You’re up early.”

  “I wanted to get you something for your last day here,” I explain.

  “What?” He shakes his head. “You know I don’t need any gifts. I have everything I want.” He emphasizes the word as his eyes meet mine, and I can’t help but start swooning.

  “Well, in that case,” I pause, letting go of the fabric and allowing the robe to begin to fall open, “I hope you like your present.” I pull the robe off of me, leaving me naked and exposed, save my terrycloth belt and black heels. I don’t know where this confidence of mine came from, but I’m embracing every ounce of it while it lasts. His eyes light up in an instant, going from just awake to ripe in a flash. His naughty smile covers his face, and I feel my loins excite for what’s coming next. “Can I open it now?” he asks with apparent excitement.

  “Consider your wish my command,” I taunt him.

  “Mmm. Bueno. Where should I start?”

  I inch closer to him, and he places his hand on my waist, feeling the fabric of my bow and lightly sliding his finger beneath it to graze my skin.

  “Can I start here?”

  To my surprise, his eyes look down to my fuzzless peach, freshly shaved from my morning shower.

  “As you wish,” I giggle, uncertain of his plans for me down there. I fully intended on giving him a mind-blowing blowing, but I’ll happily take any reciprocity.

  “What’s the saying?” he asks, looking to my eyes as he pulls me onto the bed with him. “Have your cake…and eat it too?” He raises his eyebrows in his famous expression, and I feel myself jump halfway to an orgasm before he’s even touched me. He pushes me onto my back in a forceful, playful manner, and I scoot backward so my head pushes against the bed frame. He lowers his head between my legs and thrusts his magical mouth onto me.

  “Ohum,” I squeak, feeling the pleasure hit me with the first flick of his tongue. I wiggle my hips into his face, allowing him access to a full spread of me. He opens his mouth slowly, using his tongue just how I’ve felt it in my mouth. His lips move purposefully, and I hear him groan as he continues his work. He moves his hands beneath my buttocks, giving himself a lever to pull me in closer. He wiggles me forward and immediately devours my freshly shaven peach. “Ahh,” I blurt out, his tongue working constantly, up down and around me, and I’m quickly two lashes away from the edge.

  “Max, I want to have you,” I beg him, wanting to feel him inside of me. He shakes his head no, and his tongue follows, sliding against me from side to side.

  “No,” he says in a low voice. “It’s my gift. You have to give me what I want,” he teases me.

  “Ummhmm,” I say between the beginnings of body twitches. “Ok. What do you want?”

  He pauses his mouth massage and pulls his head up, his now widely awake eyes sparkling at me. “You,” he says with a wicked smile. “To come all over my face.” Holy shit.

  His mouth dives back onto me, this time flicking his tongue harder, faster, and in varied movements back and forth. I know I can’t resist what’s coming, so instead I close my eyes and try to relax my tensing body, embracing the magic movements of his mouth. I unclench my buttocks, and my peach relaxes against his mouth, intensifying the pressure.

  “Uhh, Max!” I squeal. He slows his tongue in a teasing manner, lightly and gently lapping against me. I twist my hips from left to right trying to stave myself off and enjoy this as long as possible. My arousal overtakes me, and the tide of convulsions ripples through my body. He grabs my hips and holds my body so I can’t escape, moving his tongue against me as my limbs quake. “Stop,” I beg him. “Please, it’s too much.” He gives me a few more seconds of divine sexual torture, before relinquishing his position. He moves his mouth outside of the pleasure zone, planting gentle kisses starting at my inner thigh and working his way up to my mouth. I have no hesitation about where he’s just been when he plants his lips on mine for a sensual, desirous kiss. He rolls over next to me, resting his head in his hand. I say nothing, feeling a bit coy about how intimate we’ve just been. Lust is all smiles, looking equally as satisfied as I feel right now.

  “I’ve never had a ripe Georgia peac
h for breakfast.” He pauses, slowly sliding the end of his tongue against his tucked bottom lip. “It’s fucking fantastic.” Oh. Dear. Me.

  forty-four

  Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Can I pick you up from the airport? I know we really need to talk.

  I stare at this latest text from Jack. I’m still frustrated that he’s been an ass the last few weeks and now he suddenly wants to talk. Nevertheless, I still feel guilty when I see his name, and I know it’s because he still has a place inside my heart. I sigh at the thought of our breakup, knowing it won’t be as easy or simple as my oversexed body wants it to be. But, I know it’s the right thing to do. And, the exchanged promise of some future together with Max last night, whatever that may mean, helps to lessen the pain I feel when I consider the end with Jack.

  I sort through my dress choices, looking for something memorable for my last night with Max. My excitement is dulled knowing that this adventure can’t go on forever. The question that has burned in my mind all day is, where do we go from here? He said this “wasn’t just a thing” to him, but what does that actually mean in the real world? The giant world that he’s constantly traveling through, and rarely even in the same country as me?

  My phone pings again, with another text from Jack.

  I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Love you.

  I take a deep breath, forcing myself to apply some logic to the situation, knowing I have to face him tomorrow.

  Sarah will give me a ride, but thanks for the offer. I’ll be at your house around 11:15 tomorrow night.

  I purposely omit any loving sentiment in my response, not wanting to mislead him. I hit send and go back to outfit selection. I pull out an overpriced dress I picked up this afternoon, wanting to wear something special on our final night together. I don’t know where we’re going tonight, but I’m sure it’s somewhere opulent, like him. I hear my phone ping again, and assume it’s Jack again, but a smile covers my face when I see it’s from my Lust.

  Running late. Sending a car to pick you up. Be in the lobby at 8:00. See you soon, bella.

  Shit! I force my thoughts of Jack aside and get myself ready for my Lust. I scour my makeup bag and find my bright red lipstick at the bottom of the bag. I run it over my lips, giving some much-needed color to my pale skin. My hair is straight, with the slightest curl at the bottom. I put on my tall black heels, with black lace panties and a matching bra. I give my eyelashes one last curl and an extra coat of mascara for an evening vixen look. Here goes nothing. I take a deep breath and walk out the door, hoping this isn’t the last time I’ll ever get ready for a date with Max.

  ***

  The restaurant can best be described as high-end uber-trendy. It’s location in the Bund 18 building allows for gleaming views of the sparkling night lights against the Huangpu river. A hostess leads me through the dimly lit, expertly decorated modern restaurant, each section packed from the intimate tables to the tall scenic windows.

  She gestures across the room, and I see the subtle dark waves of my Lust’s hair, his perfect body outfitted in a light gray suit and white button-up. He faces the windows, taking in the beautiful and well-lit backdrop of one of the busiest cities in the world. He lifts up his left wrist, wiggling his arm slightly to expose his exquisite and obscenely expensive gold Rolex as he checks the time. I take a deep breath as I near the table, eager yet anxious for what I hope will be a meaningful last night together. He must see my reflection in the window, as he quickly turns toward me as I approach, a big smile in tow. “Jessa,” he grins. He quickly moves his eyes down my body, then gracefully grabs my hand, pulling me into him for a proper hello. I expect his lips to land on my cheek in his signature Italian greeting, but instead they skip right past the acquaintance greeting and onto my lips. I close my eyes as his warm, soft lips push into mine. Mmmm. I savor the moment, radiating from his simple touch. God, I love how he makes me feel. He extends my arm out to get another look at me, this time his eyes moving slowly up and down my body. He carefully studies me with a serious expression, and after his eyes fuck me up and down, he ends his viewing with an “I want to have you now” eyebrow raise. Ohh. How the hell am I going to make it through dinner?

  “Hi!” I blurt out, his seductive stare nearly making me forget about my fears for our future.

  “Bella. Please, sit.” He slides his hand around my waist and I feel his electricity disperse from his hand right through me. I slide in to the intimate booth, which yields an impeccable view of the fast-paced kitchen, the restaurant area, and of course, the Pearl and the rest of the amazing high rises along the river.

  “How did you get this table?” I ask, realizing we have the best seats in the house on the busiest night of the week. He winks at me then shrugs his shoulders, dismissing the idea that it’s anything special. Before I can press him to respond, a waiter appears at our table with an iced bottle of Dom and two glasses.

  “I ordered us some champagne,” he explains as we both watch the waiter expertly remove the cork from the fancy bottle.

  “Thank you. You know you spoil me,” I say, giving his hand a squeeze under the table.

  “There is no spoiling. I love making you happy.” He gives my hand a squeeze back, then reaches over for a freshly poured glass of bubbly goodness.

  “To our last night in Shanghai,” I say before clinking his glass, and secretly wishing that we’ll spend many, many more evenings together.

  “I could barely focus at work today. I could only think of you,” he admits directly. He leans into me, and I feel his breath dance on the edge of my neck. “I don’t want to be a selfish man, but I’m hoping for another present from you,” he whispers excitedly into my ear. “What you gave me this morning was just a tease. I need more.” Ahh. The thought of his skilled mouth upon me has my loins instantly swooning.

  “I think I can arrange that. But only if you behave.”

  “Ok,” he laughs. “And what does that entail?”

  “Letting me buy you dinner,” I suggest. Between the Dom and what I can assume is an outrageously priced dinner menu, I’ll be paying off my credit card for months, but I can’t very well let my sugar daddy drop more money on me.

  “Absolutely not. It’s my treat.”

  “No!” I protest. “You’ve paid for everything. It’s too much.”

  “No.”

  “Max, come on. I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Well neither will I.”

  “Fine,” I sigh, knowing I won’t win this battle, and I probably can’t afford to. “But let me do something for you.”

  “Jessa, really. I don’t need anything.” He shakes his head before turning back to me with an eager grin. “Ok, there is something you can give me.” He pauses, becoming serious. “You.”

  “Ok,” I smile, knowing that I will gladly let him have me at the end of the night. Instead of using words I let my mouth give him a fantastically rich kiss to affirm his request. He smiles when I pull his lips away from him.

  “No. Not like that. I want you. Not just in China. I want you in New York, Atlanta, Paris. Wherever I can have you all to myself.”

  “What exactly are you saying?” I ask, feeling my eager heart race. His serious expression quickly tells me the truth.

  “I want you to be with me. Only me.”

  “As your girlfriend?” I blurt out the words before I’ve even thought them through.

  “Yes. As my woman friend. You are all woman, not a girl, my bella.” Goodness, he knows how to make a woman feel desired. I sit thoughtful for a moment, considering our situation here, how wonderful this week has been, and the reality that I’m going home to.

  “I’ve had a great time this week, but—”

  “No butts!” he interrupts. “I’ve watched enough American movies to know that phrase is followed by disappointment. And you can’t disappoint me on our last night together.”

  “Max, I know your reputation. And it’s not just that. M
y situation at home is…complicated.”

  Max sighs and looks away, and I wonder if I’ve said too much. I never planned to call out his reputation, but my spinning mind was computing too fast to filter my direct words.

  “I know. I know.” He shakes his head after a few moments of silence. “What you’ve heard about me. It’s true.” What? No denial? He quickly continues. “It’s true because I’ve never met anyone like you. Someone who’s company I crave, that I’ve wanted to see day after day. Someone who has challenged me, and confused me the way you do. Someone that I can laugh with, and make love to. Someone that I’ve truly cared about the way I do you. There’s something about you, Jessa. Something I can’t let go.” His eyes hold mine again and I feel overwhelmed by his words, allowing myself to finally wonder if this is more than just lust.

  But is this really what I want? To extend this lovely affair into the real world back at home? To move out of my boyfriend’s house, break up with him, and really try this relationship out? Concern begins to creep upon my Lust’s face while I silently analyze. My heart overtakes my head and I simply blurt out my emotions.

  “I want you too.” There. I said it. The thoughts that I’ve had since I met him in Paris. I want him. I want more of him. I want to be with him in more ways than one. I want him to be only mine. I reach over and grab his forearm, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “I want to see what will happen with us.”

  The slight wrinkle in his brow begins to relax as he hears the words he’s been waiting for. I record his rare moment of vulnerability, a side I’ve not see until now. Beneath the layers of expensive soaps, fabrics, and labels is a man who just wants a chance at what…love? With me. A deliciously desirable, rich, charming man who wants me. I smile giddily at the thought. I look up at Max as my fingers slowly trace swirls across his arm. He grabs my hair, twirling his fingers through it as he pulls my mouth to his. It only took months and countless strokes of fate, but here we are together, on our own wills, ready to give this thing a shot.