Shadow Dancer Boxed Set

by Courtney Rene

  She was the chick that threw herself on Leif earlier that day. The chick that evidently truly held the heart of my Leif, his desire, and passion, and she was lovely. Why couldn't she have had a hooked nose or an acne-covered face? But no, she had crystalline clear skin and a lovely button nose. Of course she did.

  I admit to feelings of jealous hatred. I could feel the heat of my gaze upon her person. She only returned it with nothing more than perplexed confusion. I gave myself a mental shake. She had no idea who I was and she obviously didn't have any clue about Leif and me, or what I thought was Leif and me.

  I still hated her, on principal, but I swallowed my hurt pride and gritted out as evenly as I could, "Hi. It's nice to finally meet you. Carrie has been very excited about your return."

  Now that I realized who she was, I wished she'd never returned. In fact, I'd have wished her to the moon if it would've helped. Well, if Acadia had a moon. Frankly, anywhere but here would have been fine by me. Unbeknownst to her, she took part in my heartbreak, whether she knew it or not, whether intentional or not.

  "It's always nice to get back. I miss everyone so much," she said. "I love going on the hunt, but I always love to get home.

  "What were you hunting?" I asked.

  "Oh, the same old stuff," she replied, evasively.

  I had nothing further I wanted to say, so I said, "Well…I guess I better get moving on then. It was lovely to meet you." The lie tasted like ash in my mouth. It was anything but lovely. My ingrained manners, for the first time in my life, annoyed me.

  "What was that all about," Taylor asked me after we were out of earshot.

  "That was my future crumbling into tiny little pieces," I said.

  A very angry, very red-faced Leif greeted us at my tent. He grabbed my arm roughly and said, "Did you not understand anything I just said to you about disappearing?"

  "Let go, you're hurting me," I said.

  "Yeah, I think you better let her go," Taylor growled from behind me.

  Leif did let me go, but not because of anything Taylor had said. I think because he hadn't realized how hard he had gripped my arm. It didn't stop him from yelling at me, though. "Where were you?"

  "I was at the barn!" I yelled right back.

  He tossed a look at Taylor as though finally placing his face. "What for?"

  Taylor replied for me. "She comes every day to check on her horse."

  I hadn't expected him to cover for me. I was grateful for it.

  Leif didn't understand how uncontrollable that gift was. How hard it was on me to use. He had always refused to listen when I'd tried to tell him. He always responded that I just needed to practice. I finally stopped trying to explain it to him.

  "Look, we have more important things to worry about right now. I think I need to meet with the counsel," I said, changing the subject.

  "Why?"

  "Because I had a lovely chat with the King today," I said, with a hard edge to my words. "I think I should discuss it with the Counsel, don't you?"

  Taylor and Leif both let out gasps of surprise.

  "You met with the King?" Leif said. "And you didn't tell anyone? Are you out of your mind?"

  I sighed. "I didn't plan for it to happen."

  "No, of course you didn't," Leif said.

  "Hey," Taylor said.

  "You stay out of this," Leif snapped.

  "Don't you talk to him that way," I snapped right back.

  "Whoa, hey guys. What's going on?" Austin asked. He stepped between Leif and me. I hadn't realized until he did that Leif and I were nose-to-nose, just about snarling at each other.

  "I want to meet with the Counsel," I said, trying hard to speak louder than Leif.

  "She met with the King today and didn't tell anyone," Leif interjected.

  "He's being a jerk," was Taylor's contribution.

  I rubbed my forehead. My head was killing me. "Can you set up a meeting with the Counsel or not?" I asked.

  "Yeah, we can do that," Austin said. He tossed a strange look at Leif.

  "What?" I asked. I felt so tired.

  "Give us five minutes. We'll meet you back here," Leif said.

  Taylor and I watch Leif and Austin until the darkness swallowed them up.

  "You okay here?" Taylor asked

  I sighed. "Yeah, I'm good."

  "All right then, I'm going to head home. I'll see you in the morning?" he asked.

  "Of course," I replied. I dug up a smile for him.

  "Good, you can tell me what happens with the Counsel," he said.

  "You can stay if you want.

  "Nah, they'll want to have a private meeting. You can tell me tomorrow," Taylor said.

  ~ * ~

  True to his word for once, Leif returned within five minutes. Austin, Gavin, and Leigha joined him. That was it.

  "What's going on?" I asked from my perch on the ground, just inside my tent.

  "You wanted to meet with the Counsel, so here we are," Leif announced.

  My brain whirled around for a moment. "Is this some kind of game?"

  Gavin shook his head and said, "No."

  Furious, I slowly rose to my feet. "I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me you guys were the Counsel? Is this it? Just you four? But you always said 'the Counsel', like it was someone else," I said. "You made me believe…Why didn't you tell me?"

  "You never actually asked who the Counsel was," Leif said. "So we never told you."

  "Why are you doing this? Why are you lying to me?"

  "Sunny, it's not like that," Leigha intervened.

  "Yes, it is," I said, with a strange realization. My gaze fell upon Leif. Something inside me changed at that moment, shifted into place. I guess you could say I came out of hiding. I realized that I couldn't be that naive little girl anymore. I had to face and take control of my own life, if I was ever going to be of any help to Acadia. I had to make my own path, not follow docilely behind like my horse, wherever I was lead.

  I let go of my anger. I straightened my spine, pulled my shoulders back and said in a new firm voice, "I knew it too. Back at home, you lied to me once, and I forgave you. You know how much it hurt me. Why are you doing it now?"

  "We were only trying to protect you," Leigha said.

  "Well, stop it. Right now. I'm not a child anymore. I need to understand what is going on. Don't you get it?" I said. I turned to Gavin and said, "You know I'm right too. Don't you?"

  Gavin didn't answer me, but he did toss a hot glare at the others. With that look, I knew he got it.

  "Look," I said. "We have more important things to discuss here. I'm warning you now though, if you guys lie to me again, I'm out of here. You hide anything from me, and I'm out of here. I'm tired of running around in dark. Are we clear?"

  They all looked at one another.

  "I mean it," I said.

  "Fine," Leif said.

  "Is there anything else you guys forgot to tell me?" I asked. I looked hard at each face.

  "No," Austin said, "I think that about covers it."

  "You sure?" I asked, just because I felt like being mean.

  "Yeah, I'm sure," Austin said.

  "Let's sit then. Figure out what to do from here," I said.

  I told them briefly about my conversation with the King. I told them about how he knew when I tried to pull up energy. I told them how I believed the King was unstable crazy. Lastly, I told them about the ultimatum.

  "What should we do?" I asked.

  "He didn't say when, except for two days?" Austin asked. By the hard look of concentration on his face, I could tell that he was already in strategy mode.

  "No," I said. "I think what we need to do is to get the children and anyone that is not a soldier, out of the camp. He knows where we are. He could come any time."

  Gavin was nodding his head even before I finished speaking. He said, "That's a good plan. Leigha and I will spread the word. We can get everyone on their way out of here by morning."

  "Austin and I will g
ather up the rest, anyone that can fight," Leif said. "We will all meet at midday to discuss what to do from there."

  "Don't you think we should tell everyone why they are running and why they are getting ready to fight?" I asked.

  Again, the four of them had a silent conversation with only their eyes.

  Leif looked at me and said, "Are you up to it?"

  I shrugged. "It should have been done a long time ago."

  Leif nodded. "All right then, spread the word. I don't want it to be a formal gathering or anything like that. Just start talking."

  Tasks set, everyone got up to leave. "Leif, can you stay a sec?"

  After the others had left, I took a calming breath and asked, "Who's Kat?"

  I crossed my arms protectively around my body.

  Leif's eyes widened at my question. He shook his head and said, "I don't know who you mean."

  "Don't lie," I said with a shake of my head. "I saw you."

  I could tell he was trying to decide how to respond. Finally, he said, "It's not what you think, Sunny. I swear."

  "Maybe you didn't hear me," I said. "I. Saw. You."

  "I heard you. I did," he replied.

  He stepped toward me and I backed away. I needed the space between us in order to keep my mind clear and my heart out of it.

  "Maybe this isn't the right time to get into it, "Leif said. "We have a lot more important problems going on right now."

  "This is a good time for me," I replied. "Are you in love with her?"

  "Sunny," he said

  "Is that why you always push me away? Why you won't make love to me?" There, I said it. I got it out.

  "It's not like that."

  "What's it like then?" I asked. My heart trembled inside me. Like it waited on a precipice to see if it was going to be smashed.

  "Kat and I…I've been gone for months and months, Sunny. With you," he said.

  "You've been back to Acadia several times since we met!"

  "You don't get it. This group of rebels? It was just a pack of wanderers wishing for a better future, talking about a fairytale, and half hoping for it to be true. Sometimes they would go on a search for you. Sometimes they just wanted to go over to the Water Realm. Then they found me, and I believed. I grew up with Leigha and Austin and Gavin and we formed the real rebel cause. We did. We believed in you when no one else did. We continued to search. We continued the fight."

  "Kat, she came along and she was like me. She wanted to believe in you. She is one of our best trackers. Yes, we were a thing, had been for a while. But," Leif said, "that was before I met you. You changed everything."

  "She obviously didn't know about me, and you didn't seem to care either," I said.

  "Do you mean the kiss," he asked.

  "Yes. I mean the kiss."

  "Sunny, she kissed me," he said.

  How did I know he was going to say that? "No. That was a joint kiss. She may have kissed you first, but you kissed her back. Don't pretend you didn't."

  He took a deep breath then finally said, "Yeah, I did. It was just that I was so happy to see her. I haven't seen her in months and months and I just forgot about everything else for a moment. It didn't mean anything."

  It sounded to me like it meant a lot more than even he realized.

  "Leif, if she is the one you want, why are you fighting it? I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me. I want you to want me, need me. I want you to be that happy when you see me. You aren't the same with me. You haven't been in ages. Even here in Acadia, you have changed. It's like you can't even stand to be around me. I saw your face today when you saw her. You lit up like the sun. You used to look at me like that."

  "She and I," Leif said, "we grew up together. She's one of my best friends. She's like me in a lot more ways."

  "If she's your best friend, why have I never once heard about her until today?" I asked.

  "I don't know," he said.

  We were silent for a moment then I said, "Well, then you should probably take some time to figure it out."

  "Are you," he said, "breaking up with me?"

  My heart jumped at those words. Was I?

  "I think maybe you need some time to decide what you want. You don't seem like you really want me lately. You don't touch me…like you did her," I said.

  "It's not because of her that I don't. Sunny you are the heir to the Acadian throne. Do you understand what that means? I'm just an orphan. I'm just a soldier. You belong with someone…more."

  I wanted to gather him in my arms and tell him that he was more. I did deserve him and he deserved me, but he needed to figure that out for himself. I don't think he would ever believe me. He would always doubt.

  I didn't want to let him go, especially since I knew he and Kat had a thing no matter what he said. I had to. We couldn't go on like we were, tearing apart what we did have with doubts and fear. I turned away from him. I didn't want to see his face when I said, "Maybe you are right then."

  I waited for some type of response. When none came, I turned to face him and saw the cold man that I had first met. His eyes were like ice and his face was closed. I had a moment of regret, "Leif..."

  "Don't," he said. "We meet at noon tomorrow at the barn. You know where that is."

  He left me standing there, wondering if I had made the right decision. Maybe he just needed to be told that he was the man for me. Maybe I was wrong to let him go. Then I saw that kiss in my mind again and knew I had made the right decision.

  I didn't want anyone to stay with me because of an obligation. I wanted desperate, never ceasing, passion. I didn't have that with Leif right then. I had, in the beginning, but not then. He had too many doubts about us and they were tearing us apart. He was tearing us apart. He had to decide if he wanted me or not. I hoped that when he did finally figure it out, it wasn't too late.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Royalty in the Midst

  I tossed and turned that night. I had been with Leif for long enough to be afraid of who I was without him. I got up once in the still darkness of the early dawn and tip-toed over to his tent, but when I looked inside, it was empty.

  I tried really hard not to dwell on where he might be, but images of him and Kat refused to leave me alone. It was a miserable night to say the least.

  Dawn finally arrived, like it always does, and along with it came the realization that I only had two more days left in Acadia. It seemed like I had been there a lot longer than seven days, but then it also felt like I had just arrived.

  I hurried to the shower. That, at least, was getting easier. The cold water was chilly but not quite the freezing shock it had been on day one. I dressed and wrapped up my hair in a messy bun. My leg finally was healing. It still looked horrible and would have a lovely scar, but I could live with that. I re-mossed it and wrapped it and it was set for the day.

  After I dropped off my things at the tent, my next stop was the barn. Camp was unusually quiet. Normally, the place was a bustle of activity. That day it was very subdued. People quietly worked or went about their own chores. I was usually stopped several times along the way with a hello or something. I wasn't that day. That day, I was at best ignored, and at worse, didn't exist.

  Taylor was not out that morning, which was very strange. I had never seen him anywhere else. When I went into the barn I noticed there were a lot of empty stalls. Poppy however, was right where I expected her to be.

  She huffed a noisy breath at me as I came into sight. I patted her forehead and scratched up by her ears.

  "Good morning to you too," I said.

  I brushed her down and turned her loose in the pasture. My one duty for the entire day complete, I was at loose ends, until noon anyway. I huffed out a breath myself, and leaned against the fence. Now what?

  "So, the Queen?"

  I turned to Taylor and said, "Something like that. Good news travels fast in this place, I see. Where have you been?"

  "You should have told everyone as soon as you got her
e. You could have at least told me," said Taylor.

  I saw the hurt on his face, in his eyes. I felt like crap.

  "Why did you hide it?" he said.

  How to answer? "It was decided that I should wait," I said carefully. "With the issues I was having with the King, we didn't want to advertise that I was here. Right under the nose of a King that was not very happy at my existence."

  "That's a bunch of crap."

  Sadly, I had to agree with him. I didn't understand the need for the secrecy, but I hadn't done anything about it either, so I was as much to blame as anyone else. I shrugged and said, "We did what we thought was best at the time."

  "You still could have told me. I thought that we were friends," he said.

  "We are friends. Taylor…please don't," I said. "Honestly, I've had a rough couple of days and I don't think I can take much more. Please just don't."

  My emotions were more fragile than I thought. My eyes got teary, so I turned away from him. I didn't want him to see.

  "This trip is not turning out anything like I thought it would," I said. I laid my head down against the top rail of the fence. I was already getting a headache. I blamed lack of sleep, but most likely I was worn out, both physically and emotionally.

  "Why?" he asked after a moment. He came to stand next to me against the railing like he always did.

  I felt a small smile crease my face. I lifted my head and said, "You sure you want to know?"

  He shrugged at me then said, "Sure, why not?"

  "All right then, but remember you asked for it," I said. Then I let my thoughts spew out in a rush, "Nothing has gone like it should have. First off, we get swarmed by the Shadow Guard, as if they knew we were coming, but then we haven't seen them since. Then I get separated from Leif. He finally comes for me, which, why did it take him so long? I finally get here and it's not like I thought it would be. I'm living in a tent, which isn't all that bad actually, but still. No one knew of me, and some flatly didn't even believe in me at all. I had been told differently. I had been told that there was a kingdom that needed me desperately and that's not what I found. I meet the King who I expect to be some evil, hard man, and instead he's just flat out loony. Yes, I see the evil in there, but I also saw good in him. Leif is part of the mysterious counsel and Kat loves him. I wish I could hate her for it, but she was nice, and I don't think the fault is hers. I think it's Leif's, but if that's true, then he's a liar even more than I thought, and…"