Shadow Dancer Boxed Set

by Courtney Rene

  "Whoa, that's a lot of ands," Taylor said. He chuckled.

  I took a deep breath and said, "Yeah."

  "Maybe instead of thinking about all the issues separately, you should think about the why of the whole."

  "What?" I asked.

  "Well, it seems to me that you are in the dark as much as the people here in Acadia," Taylor said. "If you take out all the other stuff, it all comes down to one question. Why? Why didn't you know about the kingdom, the rebels, the people, the king, the counsel, Kat?"

  The answer was simple. Leif didn't tell me. Intentionally, but that just asked another why question. Why didn't he tell me? "Are you sure you are only fifteen?"

  He smiled a big smile. "Almost sixteen actually," he said.

  "Ah, that explains it then."

  We fell silent again for a moment then I asked, "Are you going with the group of non-soldiers or are you staying here?"

  "I'm staying."

  "You know, I do have a king after me. You sure you want to do that?"

  "I'm not running. Is that what you mean?"

  I shook my head and said, "No. I'm just saying maybe with me is not the smartest place to be."

  "That's what friends do. They stand by you when you need it. I'm not going anywhere."

  "Well, all right then." I said it with nonchalance, but inside I was happily giddy at his words. I didn't think I could have too many friends right then.

  ~ * ~

  When I arrived back at my tent, it was to find Leif out in front. Waiting not so patiently, if his pacing indicated anything. I stopped several feet away from him and tried to think of something to say. I crammed my hands in my back pockets and stepped the last few feet.

  "Hey," I said. Eloquent, I know.

  "Hey," he said back.

  We stood like that for a tense moment, the silence heavy all around us. I wanted to say I had changed my mind, I wanted him, needed him, please hold me, but I didn't say any of those things. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched him.

  His face showed all sorts of emotions as well, but he didn't say what was on his mind either. Finally, he said, "Look, we think you should flee from the camp with the others."

  What? Run and hide with the old, weak, and the young? No way was I doing that. "Why? Why would you think I should or even would do that?"

  "Because if you stay, you would be right where the King wants you. We need you to be safe," he said.

  "Safe above all others," I asked, deceptively soft.

  "Yes. You are what's important," he said.

  "I am not more important than any other here. My life is not worth more. I won't stay safe and warm, closeted away while people are hurt, maybe killed."

  "God, Sunny! Don't you get it! You are more important. You are what we have been waiting for. If you die, what's the point of all of this then?" Leif replied. He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

  "I'm not leaving," I replied. "You can get as mad as you like, but I'm not going. With all your talk, you don't seem to understand my side either. Half of these people don't even believe in me or in what I am. They haven't been waiting for me. They have been surviving. I'm not about to let them down now that I'm finally here. I'm not going to go and hide. You are right. The King wants me. I'm staying."

  "No, you're not," Leif said.

  "Yes, I am," I said. I took a step forward. "Have you even met the King? Do you even know how unbalanced he is?" I asked.

  "I've heard," Leif replied. He also took a step forward.

  "Well, that's not good enough," I said, now almost nose-to-nose with him. "Listen good, I'm staying."

  "You are the most stubborn…" he began.

  "Yeah, I know," I said. He was so close to me that if I leaned forward just a breath, I would be able to kiss him, or if he wanted, he could kiss me. I waited.

  "Why now? Why do you suddenly have to be so stubborn now?" he asked, not moving forward.

  I thought about why and all I could come up with was, "Because I have to be."

  ~ * ~

  Leif left me soon thereafter. He either realized that I was serious about staying, or he was taking a time out to think up another argument. I didn't care what new argument he came up with. I meant what I had said. I wasn't going anywhere. Not yet anyway. I only had two more days left in Acadia. I was seeing it through.

  I sat down out in front of my tent in the sunshine. I watched as tent after tent was taken down. Wagons and horses were loaded full. The camp had a somber feel to it. A sadness to it. Maybe that was just me though. I didn't feel like I was doing any good there.

  A shadow fell over me and I turned to see Carrie standing next to me. Her long yellow hair matched mine as it shone in the sun. She stood and watched the tearing down of the camp with me for a few minutes.

  "So, are you really her?" Carrie asked.

  I felt a smile crease my face. "Yes, I am," I replied.

  "Are you going to save us all?" she asked, as only a child could.

  "I don't know. I'm going to try though," I said.

  "Can I still call you Sunny?" she asked.

  I chuckled softly and said, "Yes, you can still call me Sunny."

  "Kay," she said. Then she graced me with one of her own smiles.

  "Why are you still here?" I asked. "Are you all packed?"

  "I'm not going," she said.

  A shiver of fear for the little girl zipped through me. "Why? You have to go. It's not safe for you here right now."

  She shrugged. "Kat is staying, so I have to stay."

  "What about your parents? They are going to just leave you here?" I was astonished. What kind of parents were they?

  She gave me a confused look then said, "My parents are dead. Kat takes care of me."

  Why did I not know that? I had spoken to the little girl how many times and I didn't know her parents were gone. I looked out over the half empty camp and realized I didn't know anything about these people. Not really. A few conversations and meals spent together didn't make a bit of difference. I didn't know them.

  "Who takes care of you when Kat's away then?" I asked. She couldn't stay alone…could she?

  "I look after myself, mostly. People take turns checking after me though," she said again with a shrug.

  "Oh," I said. My heart seemed to beat really hard right then. Sadness and anger swarmed through me at the realization of the lives of everyone here; their constant struggle to survive, the death all around them, some closer than others. Taylor, Carrie, Leif, all of them. These people, my people, needed more than just my presence. They needed a leader. They needed me.

  They needed me and I was so afraid that I was going to fail them. Me. Seventeen years old, afraid of her gifts, struggling and unable to control them. Me.

  I couldn't let them down.

  She stayed with me for a bit longer then ran off at a call from, I assumed, Kat.

  She left with a wave and a, "See you later."

  I sat where I was for a long time. I needed a plan. I needed a way to help. I couldn't do that if I gave myself up to the King, but I was afraid that if I didn't, he would retaliate as he had warned and go after the rebels.

  Noon arrived too soon. I got up and went back to the barn where the meeting was to take place. I had a plan, not a good one, but I needed to make sure that what the rebels planned didn't interfere with my own.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Liars and Fools

  "My Lady?" a man spoke from behind me. When I turned, it was to see a very tall, very skinny man, with orange-red hair and freckles everywhere. He had a shy and kind face though, and I immediately relaxed.

  "Please, just Sunny," I said and gave the man a gentle smile. He seemed so nervous and jittery. His hands twisted before him and he shifted his weight continually from left to right on his feet.

  He tilted his head to the side, his face a picture of confusion. "But you are the Heir."

  I scrunched up my face and said, "Yes. I know, but…"

  "The
n you must be addressed property," he interrupted.

  I realized that I was fighting a losing battle and didn't protest anymore to him. It still made me feel funny though to be called "my lady" or whatever else they would come up with. At least no one had gone so far as to say 'your highness' to me, yet. Ick.

  "Okay, sure," I said, with a lift of a shoulder.

  "You are wanted over there," he said, and pointed over to where Leif stood.

  Many men surrounded him. There were only a few women that I could see, Leigha and Kat among them.

  "Oh, thanks," I said.

  I took in a deep breath and made my way through the people until I stood next to Leif. The noise was overwhelming there in the center of it all. All the talk and arguing was at a roar. I gave Gavin and Austin a smile, a bit relieved to see their friendly faces, or at least familiar ones. They returned my smile with one of their own, which immediately eased my nerves.

  Again I was in the dark about what was going to happen. I had to wait to learn my fate and my future along with everyone else. Only this time, it annoyed me. If they were making plans about me, then I should have been in on them. I was tired of running around trying to play catch up. Gabriel was right, I needed to take control of my own life, not be lead through it.

  "So, what's the plan," I said, my voice loud and firm.

  It was suddenly quiet, all the murmurs and talk ceased. I smiled at the crowd.

  Leif, as if he just noticed my arrival, looked at me and snapped, "We go to the meeting place."

  No 'My Lady' from him, obviously. Not that I had actually expected one. I looked around and saw that everyone else seemed to know what that meant as they all nodded.

  "What meeting place?" I asked.

  "On the other side of the kingdom there is a big open field that is used for meetings," he said slowly, as if talking to a child.

  I ignored his sarcasm. "You just march your way over to a pre-determined spot and then what? Fight it out?" I asked. That sounded stupid to me. Just line everyone up in rows and shoot? No, that couldn't be right. That was more like suicide than war.

  Everyone again nodded yes at me, though. That was exactly what they planned to do. No way! "That's stupid," I said. "You are all going to end up dead."

  Leif shrugged me off and said, "That's how it's done. You still want to join us? Now that you know how stupid we are?"

  Leif was really starting to get on my nerves. It was like he switched realms and with it personalities. "Stop being a jerk," I said. "You can try and scare me all you like, but I'm not staying behind.

  "Fine," he said then turned away from me and began addressing the concerns of another group.

  I stayed by his side and listened to all the plans and ideas that swirled around through the crowd. There were questions of how many arrows should they bring. Geez, arrows? At least I could help with that. I was pretty decent with an arrow.

  "Hey, Gavin, do you have a bow I can borrow? I didn't think to bring mine," I said. I had no idea that I was going to be doing battle while in Acadia. Next time I would know and be more prepared.

  Gavin nodded once at me then said, "I'll round one up for you."

  Yay. One problem solved. The next question I heard murmured was the question of horses. Were there enough for all the rebel soldiers? Since I had Poppy, I knew at least on that score I was also good to go. It was determined by Taylor that there should be plenty of horses to go around, along with a few spares if we needed them.

  I gave him a wave. He turned beet red at my singling him out but nodded in my direction anyway.

  Food would need to be gathered and everyone was to be in charge of their own rations. Ha ha! I was good with that too as I still had loads of granola bars in my pack. I had been saving them for when I was starving to death.

  "You have an hour to get what you need and meet back here. I want to leave as soon as we can," Leif said.

  Everyone hurried off to get prepared except for me and Kat and Leif. It could have been an awkward moment. I could have been a gank, but right then the mess I was in was more important than my heartbreak over Leif. If we made it through the next few days, I would worry about how to get Leif and I back on track, if at all. I did have to remind myself that it wasn't Kat's fault.

  Don't get me wrong, I wanted to hate her. It would have been so easy to hate her, to blame her for all my problems with Leif, but in the end, my problem was with Leif. If anything, she was only in the way.

  "So," I said.

  Kat smiled and said, "I can't believe you are finally here. After all these years, we found you, the real heir, the queen. Isn't it great?"

  Oh vomit. "Yeah, here I am," I said. I tried to keep a smile on my face but of all the things I wanted to talk about, my royalness was not one of them.

  "You better go pack what you need. You only have an hour," Leif said not just to me but to Kat as well.

  "Okay," Kat said. "You coming?" That, she directed at Leif.

  I waited to see what he would say.

  "No. I have my own preparations to make," Leif said. "I'll meet you back here."

  "I'll walk with you," I said to Kat. I had to walk right past her tent anyway on my way to mine. Why not?

  "Ah..." Leif began, but I cut him off.

  "Go on, we'll meet you back here," I said.

  He gave me a hard look which I interpreted as telling me to be good. Like I wouldn't be. I smiled a big toothy smile. He grunted and walked off.

  "Shall we," I said to Kat, and we headed into camp.

  "What's up with you two?" she asked.

  She wasn't as oblivious as I had thought. I didn't know what to tell her so instead I just shrugged and said, "We clash now and then. It's just what we do."

  "Well, he can be a bit overbearing. He just has these protective instincts. He can't help it. Try to be a little patient with him. He has been searching for you a long time. Since he was a kid."

  "Yeah, I know," I replied. "So how long have you known him?"

  "Forever, it seems," Kat said. "We grew up together. Did you know that? I was just a little girl trying to be like the boys. I wanted to fight and hunt and I wanted to be part of the search. He didn't make fun of me. He taught me and trained me. He is my best friend. We would go to the other realm and look for you. You have no idea how hard it's been. He was so determined. He had this idea of you and no matter how many times he came up empty handed, he wouldn't give up. So many others did. We all lost hope now and then, but not Leif. He never did. He never stopped looking. He's a good man."

  They had a history. They had a foundation that he and I would never have. She loved him. I could see it in her face when she talked about him and it broke my heart a little more. My smile wobbled, I felt it. My nose burned and my eyes misted up. I was thankful we had made it to her tent. I looked away from her, out across the almost empty camp then said, "I'll see you in bit then."

  I didn't wait for her reply. I just hurried on to my own tent. I rushed inside and sat down on my bunk hammock. I was a mess.

  Leif followed almost right behind me and stormed over to where I sat dejected on my bunk. "What are you playing at?"

  More tired and weary than anything, I looked up into his angry face. "I have no idea what you mean," I said.

  "What did you say to her?" he demanded.

  I stood up so that he wouldn't be towering over me quite so much. "Stop trying to bully me around," I said. "And for your information, I didn't say anything to her. That's your job."

  "Aaargh," he snarled. "Why do you have to make everything so freaking hard all the time?"

  "I'm not doing anything," I said. "This is all you, Leif. You."

  I pointed an angry finger in the direction of Kat's tent and said, "She loves you. Deeply. Does that not mean anything to you?" I pointed to myself, "I love you. What about that? Does that make a dent in your walls of armor? Do you feel anything at all?"

  He stood there. He didn't say anything. I couldn't really tell if he was thinking
or what, but soon the silence wore on my nerves and I snapped.

  "You know what? You make me sick. You are one of those guys, aren't you? You should have told me about her. I wouldn't have let myself love you. I wouldn't have opened up my heart to you. All this time, you have been playing me. You are a liar, Leif. It's what you do."

  "I did what I had to do for Acadia. Do you know what that means?" Leif asked.

  "I don't care what that means," I said. The tears that I had been able to shove back a moment before sprang forward again, only this time with more power than I had to hold them back. I felt them trickle, warm down my cheeks, leaving a wake of wet in their tracks. "You can say it's all for Acadia, but it's not. You did this. You thought you had to use my emotions to get me here. You were right, but not the ones you chose. You could have been my friend. I realize now that you were never my friend. You are a user and a liar."

  "Sunny," he said.

  I shook my head at him, uncaring of my tears. They may have been tears of sorrow for what I thought we had, but they were also tears of anger for what he had turned my love and my caring into. I didn't care if he saw them or not. I shoved him hard with my hands and said, "Get out."

  "Wait," he said. He grabbed my arms and tried to pull me into an embrace. "It's not like that. I really do love you."

  I shoved my way out of his arms and said, "I don't believe you anymore."

  "I'll fix this," he said.

  I shook my head at him again and said, "No. This is something that you can't fix."

  "Just wait. I'll fix it," he said, and then he left. He slipped almost silently from my tent.

  Leigha came in almost at a run and said, "What is going on?"

  I stepped past her outside. Gavin and Austin stood there as well. Gavin had a face full of regret. Austin's held nothing but pity. The pity is what finally sank in.