Forgiving History

by Jenni M. Rose

  “I’d never,” he repeated.

  “I told Mike I knew there was something wrong.” Andy brought her hand to his cheek, reveling in the warm skin beneath her palm. “I trust you, Owen, and more than that, I love you. There was never a doubt in my mind.”

  His smile was nearly enough to make her day complete. For years, Owen had been the very last person on earth she wanted to see, though his absence had cut deeper than she’d cared to admit. Their road to finding love again had been long and winding but oh, so worth it. When she’d finally let go and put her trust in Owen, he’d never let her down. Not once.

  She didn’t expect he ever would.

  “Have I told you how much I love you?” he asked.

  Andy smiled and noticed all the wedding guests, watching them. “You have, but if you wouldn’t mind, there are a few people here that kind of wanted to see the whole show.”

  Owen noticed them too, but didn’t give any indication that he was going to let her go. “Are you saying I should go change now?”

  “You could probably stand a shower first,” she said, brushing a cobweb off his shirt.

  “What are the chances I could talk you into joining me?” The look he gave her was full of hot promise and her cheeks heated.

  “After getting my hair done for an hour this morning? Zero.”

  “I had to ask.” He shrugged and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth.

  “The justice of the peace is here,” she told him, pointing to a nice lady that happened to be a regular at Walker’s. “Let’s meet in the backyard in half an hour and get married.”

  He kissed her again. “Make it twenty minutes. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

  It was funny that Andy, of all people, was taking the total chaos of the day in stride. She was usually one that liked things in order, to follow a plan.

  This day had not gone as planned at all, Beth thought. It had been chaos from the get-go.

  Andy, however, looked serene as she gazed out the window, like nothing could touch the cloud she was floating on. There were no last-minute details to iron out, no flurry of activity in the bridal suite.

  Just Andy and her siblings, having a quiet drink in the master bedroom before the processional started. Beth’s glass was filled with ginger ale, though her siblings didn’t notice as it looked similar to their champagne.

  Owen and his crew were gathered in the guest room and would signal when they were ready. Jenna and Dad were making sure all the guests were settled in the backyard for the ceremony.

  “Say something,” Spencer whispered in her ear. He was tall enough that he had to lean way down, and she laughed at how ridiculous he looked. Dressed to the nines, looking broad and powerful, he should have looked untouchable.

  Instead, he looked panicked.

  “Like what? A speech?” she whispered back.

  Andy didn’t look like she needed a pep talk. If anything, she looked like she might give one.

  “I don’t know. This is the part in movies where someone says something moving, and they play sappy music, and you all cry.”

  Beth sent him a glare.

  “We all cry,” he corrected.

  Alexa coughed into her hand and then raised an eyebrow at them, motioning her head toward Andy. Spencer waved a hand at her. Beth shrugged.

  “You know I can see you in the window reflection.” Andy turned, a laugh on her lips. “What are you all going on about?”

  “Spencer was just saying that he wanted to say something about this momentous occasion, but didn’t want to ruin your moment,” Beth said, smiling up at her brother.

  His face was murderous, but none of them would do anything to jeopardize Andy’s wedding-day happiness.

  Andy looked to Spencer, and Beth got the distinct feeling her sister knew he’d had no intention of making a speech.

  Alexa looked on, smirking as they all watched him.

  “Yeah,” Spencer murmured, shuffling his feet a bit. “Here’s the thing. From the minute Owen walked back into the bar, I wanted him gone.” He shrugged. “I didn’t want to see you hurt again and I sure as shit didn’t want Jenna hurt.”

  “That’s really moving,” Alex commented on his language.

  “Shut up,” he told her without heat. “To be really honest, I spent a lot of years being Jenna’s number one guy and I didn’t want to share her. I still don’t. I liked that you came to me for help and I liked being there for you. For both of you.” He shook his head. “This isn’t coming out right.”

  “Keep going,” Andy whispered, her eyes a little misty as she watched Spencer struggle to form the right words.

  “I like that we’re all a team,” he said. “Beth, you rotate in and out, but you’re always right there with us. Since Mom died, we’re a team. I didn’t want anyone else on the team.”

  “Owen’s not going to come between us,” Andy told him.

  “No,” Spencer argued. “That’s not what I mean. Sorry, I suck at this. I thought you were going to bail on us. I thought you’d fall in love with him and then it would just be the three of us.” He pointed to himself, Alexa, and Beth. “But it hasn’t been that way. You’re better with Owen, Andy. You’re more you than you’ve ever been. I want that for you.” He let out a dry laugh. “Hell, I want that for all of us. You laugh harder and your eyes light up when he’s around.”

  Beth saw Lex look away and wipe a thumb under her eye.

  “There’s more, but I don’t know how to say it.” Spencer held up his drink. “May we all, someday, love as hard as Andy and Owen.”

  Beth held her drink to his. “May we all, finally find what we’re looking for.”

  Alex joined them. “May we all take what life gives us and make it our own.”

  Beth felt a knot form in her throat. That was something their mom always said.

  Andy looked at them all, waiting for her to join them.

  “I don’t get to have you all together as much as I’d like, but while I do, I’d like to thank you. For helping me raise Jenna. For holding me up when I wanted to fall down.” She looked at Spencer. “For being my rock, when I might have otherwise floated away. Owen is the love of my life, but you guys have been with me every step of this journey. Ups and downs, and everything in between.” She smiled and then looked at Beth. “If there’s one thing I could ask for, more than I already have, it would be for Mom to still be here. She is still greatly needed in this world and no matter how hard we all try, her shoes are far too big to fill.” She raised her glass to meet theirs. “May we all remember where we came from and the people that stood by us while we were there.”

  Owen had known she was going to be beautiful. How could she not be? He’d seen himself standing at the end of that aisle, in his mind’s eye, smiling and holding out his hands for her.

  He hadn’t expected to freeze.

  He was not frozen in fear or regret. He hadn’t changed his mind.

  He just hadn’t expected Andy to literally, take his breath away. She’d stepped out of their house, the home they were making together, and she’d looked up at him, waiting for her.

  The smile that lit her face was of another world. It went beyond simple happiness.

  “O,” Doc whispered, his hard elbow hitting Owen’s rib. “You still with us?”

  “I have never wanted to be anywhere more than I want to be here right now,” he murmured as Andy and her father approached.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” Doc said.

  It wasn’t Andy’s fancy white dress or her bouquet of flowers, nearly as big as she was. It wasn’t her bright blue eyes that danced with laughter or her very shiny lips as they stretched into a smile. It wasn’t that he knew what she was or wasn’t wearing under her dress or the plans they had for their honeymoon.

  It wasn’t those things that made him freeze.

  He was suddenly struck with the idea that somehow, he’d become lucky enough to get a second chance with her.

  What if he’d never hurt his
hip and come home to Freehope?

  What if he’d never walked into Walker’s that night for a beer?

  What if he’d never found out about Jenna?

  His life was a series of twists and turns that had all led him to this moment. One wrong move and he could be somewhere else, never knowing what he could have missed out on.

  “Look alive, Monroe,” Doc whispered again. “You’re ruining the photo op.”

  He wasn’t sure if the smile he plastered on his face was believable or not, but hopefully he wouldn’t look as dumbstruck as he felt.

  Andy finally reached him and Charlie gave her away, if not a little grudgingly.

  They stood there, holding hands and staring at each other, taking it all in as the justice of the peace droned on.

  They’d opted for a short ceremony and within minutes it was time for him to recite his vows.

  His eyes never left hers and she kept him grounded.

  “I had my vows written down, but I’m going to leave those in my pocket,” he began. “They don’t say anything I haven’t already told you about how I feel. When I saw you walk out of the house just now, I was struck by how incredibly lucky I am. If I go back, way back, luck doesn’t always seem to play a big part for you and I. Between my parents being gone and your mom, we’ve lost more than our fair share. We lost years together, and that too, seems so unfair.

  “But I look at you, Andy, and I know I’m the luckiest man alive. I’m lucky I came home when I did and lucky you took another chance on me. I’m lucky to have such a smart and capable daughter that loves me so unconditionally. Despite the world being cruel and unfair sometimes, it also gives back. It gave me you and Jenna, and there’s nothing more I could ask for. Your love and trust in me is a gift, and I hope you know I’ll hold onto it with the gentlest of touches. I’ll treasure it, and you, and treat you with the respect you deserve.

  “I love you, Andy.” He held out a hand to Jenna, who hurried to be by his side, her face buried in his suit jacket. “And I love you too, J. More than you can ever know. I promise to love and cherish you both, for all the days of my life.”

  “Andrea?” the justice of the peace whispered, wiping her eyes.

  “I can’t top that.” Andy laughed, the guests doing the same. “And my vows are short.” She too reached for Jenna until the three of them stood together, bound by the ceremony. “I spent a long time telling myself that you weren’t what I was looking for.” That elicited another laugh. “Luckily”—she winked—“you’re persistent and proved me wrong. No one likes being wrong, but I wish for us many happy years of the love you were so sure of from the beginning.”

  Despite being short, Andy’s vows did the job.

  He slid his ring on her finger and within moments, she was his forever.

  Officially.

  5

  Logan knew where Beth was every second. He’d like to pretend it all came down to his military training, but that would be a lie.

  It was just her.

  Wherever she was, he felt a magnetic pull in that direction.

  At the bar, surrounded by men. Her friends from town, he knew, but it didn’t take the sting out of it. She’d largely avoided him most of the evening and he’d let her. This was part of the game they played with each other.

  There was no doubt she felt what he did. Stupid to say, but his damned soul burned for her. Didn’t matter if it was cliché. Didn’t matter that they barely knew each other. They both felt it. It was there, no matter how far they both ran.

  Last time she ran, he’d followed suit. He’d ended up overseas in some godforsaken desert and had blown his knee out in a stupid act of heroism. He wouldn’t take back what he’d done, but he’d be damned if he didn’t regret it some.

  As his doctor had told him, he was one tweak away from a permanent handicap. Hell, he was barely out of a brace as it was; he’d be lucky to ever get back to full duty.

  He watched Owen and Andy, dancing on air with nothing but stars in their eyes, and wondered if retirement would bring him the same amount of joy.

  His gaze swung to Beth and their eyes clashed.

  Yeah, she felt it too, there was no doubt in his mind. Problem was, Beth was running from something. He knew her story, where she came from and what her life was like. A woman like her, she should have been stable as hell. All her siblings had their shit together, but Beth? She was a runner.

  He just didn’t know why.

  Far be it from him to pin down someone that didn’t want to be pinned down, but he just didn’t get it.

  And she sure as hell wasn’t sharing her reasons.

  He’d run the argument around in his head already, numerous times. Every time they spoke on the phone or texted, he went over it. Every time they ran into each other at one of these things, he went over it. Every time he woke up alone, after she’d left him in the dead of night, he went over it.

  In the end, he wanted to have her more than he wanted to let her go. He either had to settle for her, knowing she’d run in the end, or not have her at all.

  There were no options, from what he gathered.

  It was pathetic, no doubt. It made him sound a little desperate, too.

  But when she broke away from the group she was with and glided over to him, the pieces of the puzzle melded together. At least momentarily.

  Her dress was a burnt-orange color that made her hair look luminous and the exposed expanse of her skin sparkle. It may have been a side effect of the twinkle lights hanging in the tent, but Logan didn’t care. All he saw was Beth sashaying toward him, her eyes never leaving his and a secret smile on her lips.

  She was coming in for the kill.

  She’d played whatever game she was playing and now, she’d come to her end game. He’d known she would. They’d spent the day sending each other heated glances so it was no surprise.

  He’d have rather spent the time wining and dining her, feeding her out of his hands and slow-dancing with her in his arms, but he’d take what he could get. With Beth, he’d settle for crumbs.

  “Are you lost in thought over here?” she whispered, her fingers trailing up his lapel when she approached.

  “Not lost, no,” he told her, holding her hand to his chest. “Just thinking about you.”

  “Good thoughts?”

  There was a wobble in her voice and he knew then that she knew how she’d been acting. Some things, you just couldn’t help. Whatever kept Beth running, was something she struggled with, always.

  “Always,” he said with a smile. “Are you done playing now?”

  “Playing with who?”

  “Me.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear, pulling her closer. “You’ve teased me enough today, don’t you think, Sugar?”

  “I suppose I have,” she admitted. “I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

  “I know you didn’t. Doesn’t mean I liked it, but I know you don’t do it on purpose.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes a clear crystal blue, just like her sisters, and he saw infinite sadness. Beth wasn’t one to let her guard down very often, mostly keeping her mask on all the time, but once in a while, she let it slip and when she did, he finally caught a glimpse at the real woman he loved.

  She was in there, somewhere.

  “I know I’m a shitty person,” she said. “I know I should stay as far away from you as I can.”

  “I’m not a big fan of that plan,” he told her.

  “Every time you and I are together, I end up ruining everything. I don’t want that for you.”

  “Oh,” he mused. “You want to stay away for my sake?”

  “You know what I mean,” she said. “We’re like…like…”

  “Fire and gasoline?” he finished.

  “Either way, we both end up burned,” she pointed out. “That’s what I’m trying to avoid.”

  “Well, don’t do me any favors, Sugar. I can handle it.” He ran his fingers down her face and smiled. “Can you?”

  She sh
rugged and looked away. “I’ve been telling myself for months, I was going to stay far, far away from you at this wedding. I’m trying not to make it worse!”

  “Seeing you and not being able to touch you is about the worst thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

  “Worse than the knee brace?” she asked, looking at the offending leg.

  “Way worse,” he confirmed, though it may have been a stretch. The knee thing was a huge pain in his ass and potential career killer. “I could stand to get off my feet, though.”

  Her eyes got dark as her lids drew lower. “Is that a hint?”

  “It might be. If it was, where’s the closest place you might be able to help me get some rest in private?”

  Beth had to give it to Logan, he was smooth. Not in a seedy way and not in that smarmy, looking to hook up way. It was charming when he did it, relaxed in a way she didn’t think she could fake if she tried.

  She wanted Logan, there was no question about that. She wanted him more than she wanted her next breath. The problem was, she wanted to keep him, too and she couldn’t do that.

  He deserved more than she could give him, though he’d never understand that. He was the kind of guy that could make the best of a bad situation and would take what she gave him. But she wasn’t a whole person and he deserved more than she could give him.

  It would be appropriate to say that she was tired of the game they’d been playing. They played hot and fast, tumbling past the line in the sand, without their clothes, on every chance they got. She loved every second of it.

  Logan was a hot ticket. Sweet and charming, the epitome of a southern gentleman. Maybe not a gentleman, but fairly close. His vocabulary was far too dirty to be classified as a gentleman and the things he did with his tongue that would make a hooker blush. He was also sharp and observant, two things that equally fascinated and terrified her. Every word she spoke, he analyzed and processed in a way she only wished she understood. Highly intelligent, he told her once that he believed all relationships were just cause and effect at its most complex.