Forgiving History
Page 5
She found him enthralling.
If she had her way, she’d be pregnant and barefoot in his kitchen, waiting on bated breath for him to come home every night.
But she wasn’t that girl.
If things had gone differently, maybe.
If Andy hadn’t been drugged and raped. If Owen had stuck around.
If her mom hadn’t gotten sick and died.
Cause and effect.
Moves and counter-moves.
So far, their move was sex. Her counter-move was run.
She didn’t see this going any differently but couldn’t stop herself from having him again. One of these times, she might stay. She might be moved to make a change.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she told him honestly. “I hate that we’re hot and cold all the time.”
“I prefer you hot,” he said with a seductive smile, intertwining their fingers. “But I can be realistic about where you are.”
“And where’s that?” she asked, not sure she liked where the conversation was headed.
“Don’t bug out on me now, Sugar.” He gave her arm a tug and led her toward the house. As they climbed the porch and went inside, he spoke, “You want me, I know. You care for me, just like I care for you. You’ve got demons. Hell, I’ve got them, too. You tend to run out on me when I want you to stay.”
“You tend to ship out overseas when you don’t get your way.”
“My way?” he asked, pulling her down the wall to the guest room. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you for much, Beth.”
No, he hadn’t. “Sorry,” she said.
He shrugged as they walked, slipping his other hand around her waist. “I like that you worried about me while I was out there. Makes me feel good.”
“Well, I was worried sick,” she said primly. And she had been, though from his perspective, she had a shitty way of showing it.
Logan said nothing and it almost made her feel worse than if he’d called her out.
She’d still never told him that he knew the guy she’d slept with in that bar. Deep down, she wondered if it would be the final nail in her coffin.
With a small push, he propelled her into the guest room and closed the door quietly behind him.
He didn’t advance on her, didn’t make his move.
He just watched her.
With the lights low and the din of the wedding guests just outside, the seclusion of the room was a welcome relief.
Logan took a few steps to sit on the bed and Beth noticed his limp.
“How bad is it?” she asked, hurrying over to him and helping him sit.
“Pretty bad. I think if I could just get you to tell me how worried you were about me, minus that dress, and add on a lap dance, I’ll be okay.”
A laugh burst out and she slapped him on the shoulder. He took advantage and grabbed her hand, pulling her on top of him. He helped her bunch her dress at the top of her thighs, giving her legs room to move as she straddled his lap.
His hot palms slid up the outside of her thighs and up to her backside as she settled on his lap, her hands on his shoulders.
He was hot under her hands, and she wondered if he could feel the heat from her core, seeping onto his cock.
“Is this your way of getting that lap dance?” she breathed.
He pressed his hips up, his hardness rocking against her heat, making her head tip back.
“I can make you dance this way too,” he said, his voice hushed. “Now you just have to tell me how much you missed me.”
“I can show you instead,” she whispered, tipping her lips to his.
His lips were warm against hers, soft and inviting before he broke away.
“I’ll take that too, but a man like me could used to hearing those words from you, Sugar.”
“A man like you?”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You know, a man in love with a woman that can’t love him back.” His eyes were soft, no hint of accusation directed at her. He wasn’t tossing it in her face that she had commitment issues. He wasn’t holding it against her.
How could she respond to his statement? Arguing seemed silly because they both knew he was telling the truth. She was damaged goods. Always had been, always would be.
Loving Logan would saddle him with a lifetime of regret and disappointment.
Beth felt her heart crack inside her chest, the same feeling she got whenever she let herself imagine what Logan’s life would look like with her in it.
Empty, was always the first word that came to mind.
“Don’t disappear on me now, Beth. I just got my hands on you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she said again.
“Then don’t leave me here alone. Just be with me now and we’ll figure out later another time.”
“You won’t hate me?”
“Not possible,” he whispered, pulling her down for another kiss.
This time, he flipped her around so he was on top and she had nowhere to run.
“Well, Mrs. Monroe,” Owen said to Andy as they watched the last of the wedding guests leave the tent. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”
Jenna had left a few hours before with Charlie. Spencer and Alexa had made sure all the guests got on their way and they too, left. Their family and friends had stayed and celebrated their wedding late into the night and it had all been magical.
Watching them leave, however, was almost a relief.
“Thank God.” Andy laughed. “I thought they’d never leave.”
He pulled her in close, wrapping her in his arms.
“Next time we get married, it can be just you and me.”
She laughed. “You’re planning to marry me again?”
“Gorgeous, I’d marry you every day if you let me. I’d like a chance to not screw it up,” he said.
The strains of a slow song bled softly out of the speakers. They both looked to the DJ, who winked in their direction as she continued breaking down some of her things.
“May I have this dance, Mrs. Monroe?”
She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of being called that.
Andy let him lead her to the dance floor where he proceeded to cocoon her in his arms and spin her around.
“You’re all I ever wanted,” Andy told him, the words choked as she pushed them out. “I’ve been lucky enough to get more out of life than I thought possible, but you’ve always been what I wanted.”
“Even when I was a bonehead?”
Andy let out a watery laugh. “Even when you were a bonehead.”
“Just keep wanting me, Andy,” he said as he leaned his forehead against hers and held her hand against his chest. “Keep giving me a chance to love you and Jenna. You both make me a better man and I’ve never wanted to be anything more than I want to be a good husband to you and father to her.”
“You already are a great father to Jenna,” Andy told him.
“So, I just have to work on the husband thing?” The smile that spread across his face was full of humor, his dark eyes warming under the twinkle lights of the tent.
“I’d say this wedding is only missing one thing so far,” she hinted.
“A groom at the end of the aisle?” he returned on another laugh.
“I was thinking more of the finale,” she said, one eyebrow raised.
Owen barked out a laugh. “I see. I think I can fix that.”
In a quick motion, he swept Andy into his arms and strode out of the tent, both of them laughing all the while. When she thought he’d hurry into the house, he did the opposite. He stopped and turned so they both surveyed the big white tent in the yard, fairy lights everywhere and flowers placed in every corner.
“What are you doing?” Andy asked.
“Making a memory.”
“Our wedding wasn’t enough?”
“Oh, I’ll remember that until my last breath, Andy. But this?” He motioned with his head to the yard. “I want to remember what this looked like and how I felt,
knowing you were going to be mine forever. I don’t think I’ll ever see things the same way again.”
“Owen,” Andy whispered, surprised at how sentimental he was being.
He looked down at her again. “Too mushy?”
She shook her head. “Just right.”
He turned then and brought them into the house, with nothing but the brightest of futures on their minds.
Logan wasn’t going to move. He’d known all along she was going to run out on him.
Sure, he’d been hoping it would be in the morning after he could make her coffee and breakfast.
Instead, he found himself wide awake in the dead of night with Beth sneaking around the room, putting her clothes on.
It was dark enough that he could watch her without her noticing he was awake, if he kept still enough. Her skin glowed in the moonlight as she slipped her dress back on, her red hair tousled and messy.
She kept looking back at him, and he wondered if she knew he was awake and watching her. The air between them was thick, heavy with words unspoken.
He loved the woman. He had since he’d first met her. She was fun and vibrant, with a brain that worked in the most interesting way. Her sense of adventure was unparalleled, and when they got together they often spoke about the things they wanted to do. Things like hiking Machu Pichu and kite surfing. She was everything he wanted in a partner to share his life with and, at the same time, the worst person for him.
Despite their commonalities, she wasn’t interested in having a partner.
Case in point, as she hung her heels off her fingers and tiptoed to the door.
She was going to leave him at her sister’s house to wake up alone. Who knew what her plan was? Maybe she was leaving town already. Maybe she’d hide out at her father’s or Spencer’s until he left.
She didn’t have to worry. He was on a flight out in a couple hours and he’d be out of her hair.
For good this time, he told himself.
No more going back and forth. No more being the one that got left behind.
He might love the woman, but maybe she was right. Maybe they just hurt each other too much and that alone made their relationship not worth it.
Who was he kidding? Beth skulking out of the room was the crux of their relationship.
When she got to the door, she stopped and stood ramrod straight.
He was still in a swath of blackness, but when she turned around, her eyes met his and though he knew she couldn’t see him, she looked right to the heart of him.
“I’m sorry, Logan,” she whispered.
She didn’t linger, stepping out into the hallway and disappearing into the night.
Without a sound, also, she stepped out of his life that night.
“Me too, Sugar. Me, too.”
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<<<<>>>>
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If you liked this book and want to keep reading, head over and take a look at Confessing History, Beth and Logan’s book!
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They’ve been playing a bit of a cat and mouse game these last two books but they finally get their moment in Confessing History!
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Also - I wouldn’t be offended if you wanted to leave a quick review on Amazon HERE for Forgiving History: A Wedding Novella.
Also by Jenni M Rose
Dead and Buried: Chasing Happy - Book 1
Chasing Happy
Dash of Destiny: A Fortune’s Bay Novella
Forgiving History
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And Coming Next!!
Beth and Logan’s Story: Confessing History