Determination

by Angela B. Macala-Guajardo

  He wore a desperate gaze with blue-glowing eyes. “Roxie!” He ran over and kneeled before her, clutching her skirt. “Kill me. Please.”

  Roxie stared in openmouthed disbelief. She glanced at the archway leading farther up. Should she just ignore him and keep going? Probably. There was no way this could possibly be the real Daio. She turned for the stairs but Daio tugged on her skirt.

  “Please kill me.”

  “Why?” she asked, bewildered. This wasn’t the real Daio but she couldn’t help it. He looked and felt so real, and the pain in his voice gave her pause.

  “Do it for Sassy and Aerigo. And for me.” He grabbed her hands, clenching them in his frozen, desperate grip. “I’m afraid of disappointing everyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again, but I’m afraid Nexus’ll find a way to control me in death. Please destroy my soul, Rox.”

  “But you’re not under Nexus’s control anymore. This is your opportunity for a second chance.”

  “I can’t take it. I’ll disappoint everyone. Please, Rox.”

  Roxie guided Daio to his feet and pulled him into a hug. “You won’t disappoint them. You didn’t disappoint me. You really are a good person. Sassy still loves you, and Aerigo’s happy to have you back as his little brother. And I don’t hate you.”

  “I don’t deserve a second chance with Sass. What if we reincarnate together and I kill her again?”

  Roxie took him by the chains around his shoulders. He looked at her with blue-glowing eyes glistening with tears. “You won’t.”

  The glow in his eyes shifted from blue to yellow and his hands drifted to his neck. He made a choking sound.

  “Daio?”

  He clutched at his chains and stared vacantly at the ceiling as he struggled for air.

  Roxie seized the chains but she couldn’t break them with her superhuman strength. “Daio, stop!” He sank to his knees and his face started turning blue. She tried wedging her hands between his neck and the chains, but they only coiled tighter around his larynx and he fell onto his back. She kneeled beside him, listening to him suffocate, at a loss for how to help him.

  The glow faded from his eyes and his pale irises stared lifelessly at the ceiling.

  “Daio?”

  His form turned black and spectral, then darted towards the archway Roxie had entered through and vanished from sight. She got back to her feet and calmed herself with several deep breaths before exiting the chamber.

  When the archway sealed up and darkness enveloped her, a wave of emotion washed over her and she stopped, bracing her hands against a wall and gasping for breath. Hopefully the real Daio didn’t feel the same as that specter had. He needed and deserved a second chance, despite all he’d done. Sassy honestly loved him and Aerigo was so happy to have him back as a friend and brother. Hopefully the real Daio was clinging to those truths and steadily freeing himself of all those chains.

  Roxie steeled herself for the next round of winding stairs, straightened up, and started climbing. More sprites accompanied her to yet another empty chamber and she groaned inwardly as she stepped inside. How many more of these stupid chambers were there? She trudged up the steps, not sure how much more of this she could take.

  The tip of her sword clanged against stone and that’s when she realized she still hadn’t sheathed it. She raised the business end and kept climbing. It was probably a waste of effort to put it away, just to have to draw it again. Roxie climbed the steps with mounting dread, fearing what she might meet next--or rather who.

  As one side of the next archway came into view, Roxie’s steps faltered and she cringed. She didn’t want to deal with another soul, real or fake; she just wanted to reach Thanatos so she could finally confront Nexus and take him down one way or another. Her pace moved at a crawl as the entire archway came into view, and she grit her teeth as she looked inside yet another chamber.

  It was empty.

  Roxie relaxed her limbs and let out a sigh of relief. She sheathed her sword and walked across. No ghosts manifesting in front of her, no shadows, nothing of the likes; just one clear path with no obstacles.

  She stopped halfway when a second arch appeared next to the first. She felt the color drain from her face as footsteps pattered closer and her heart felt like it was beating a hundred times for every step this ghost took.

  A tall figure stepped into the room. Her eyes stung and throat constricted when she recognized Aerigo. This was beyond cruel. “No,” she whispered thickly. “No...” The strength left her legs as Aerigo smiled. She sank to her knees.

  Aerigo rushed over and wrapped her in a frozen hug. “Don’t cry, Rox. I’m here.”

  It couldn’t be the real Aerigo. She wanted it to be so bad but it would be better if it wasn’t. Their goodbye exchanged had been a final one. She fought back tears but they still fell of their own volition.

  “Shh. Don’t cry.” He gently rocked her side-to-side. “I’ve come to take you with me.”

  What? She stared blankly over a strong shoulder at the archway, tears flowing freely. “What do you mean?”

  Aerigo sat up and held her by the shoulders. “I’ve come to save you from facing Nexus. You don’t have to fight him anymore. Come with me instead.”

  “You don’t mean that. You know I can’t.”

  “You can and I do,” he said with a nod.

  This couldn’t be the real Aerigo. He’d never say such a thing. “What about acting for the greater good?”

  “I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of putting everyone and everything before me, before us.” He guided Roxie to her feet and held her close. “Come with me.”

  Roxie could understand reaching a breaking point, but Aerigo had been prepared to kill her if she’d failed to control her Mana power while learning to draw it out. How could he want to throw all that away, ignore everyone’s plight, and think of just the two of them?

  It’d bring immense relief to not have to anticipate confronting Nexus but she’d never be able to live with herself for letting so many people die.

  “We’ll be like Daio and Sassy and reincarnate together.”

  Roxie blinked and she wiped her eyes. “Don’t I have to die first?” She did her best to hide the pain of Daio’s encounter from her voice as it tried to well up. Her brain was struggling to keep up with the present.

  “Of course. Come back with me and just stop eating. You’ll die peacefully. I want to be with you so bad, Rox.” He cupped her face and leaned in for a kiss.

  Roxie put a hand on his chest, his powerful, sculpted chest. She wanted to bury her face in it and hide in his arms, but this couldn’t possibly be the real Aerigo. He wasn’t making any sense.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Looking at his chest, she said, “How can you expect me to behave so selfishly? How come you’re behaving so selfishly all the sudden?” She was fairly certain this wasn’t the real Aerigo but at the same time she wanted it to be so bad. She felt safest and the most at ease when with him, but right now she was so confused and unsure. Everyone she’d met inside the mountain had thrown her off kilter.

  “I’ve spent so much of my life being selfless to the point where I’ve neglected my wants. It’s something I learned on my soul’s journey. A line has to be drawn somewhere.”

  “Why now?”

  “Why not?”

  “I have to stop Nexus, remember?”

  “Let the gods solve their own problems. I dedicated over three thousand years of my life doing what they asked of me. They can take it over from here.”

  He was making less and less sense. “But what about what Nero said about Aigis stepping in where gods can’t?”

  “Do you really want to spend all ten thousand years of your life being Baku’s slave? Look at where it got Nero with Olod.”

  “Aerigo, you’re not acting like yourself.” He sounded perfectly logical but at the same time it didn’t line up with the Aerigo Roxie knew.

  “Of course I am. I see everything so clearly now.” He
cradled her in his frozen arms. “I’d die for you, Rox. Would you die for me, so we can be together?”

  Roxie gazed up into his handsome blue eyes that looked upon her so lovingly, and Sekiro’s advise to keep moving if she met any other souls whispered in her head again.

  Would Roxie die for Aerigo? Yes. But right now with all this responsibility on her shoulders? It was tempting, very tempting. She didn’t want to have to kill Nexus, didn’t want to fight in a kill-or-be-killed scenario, didn’t want to have to resort to murder for the sake of protecting others. She loved Aerigo so much. She wanted to be with him, not have him as her spirit guardian. In order to have that, she had to die, or rather commit suicide.

  Aerigo cupped her cheek again. “Would you?”

  Roxie held her hand over his and closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his hand on her face, cold as it was. On top of that, she wasn’t sure if this was the real Aerigo or not. Her gut said it wasn’t but this ghost standing before her was so aesthetically compelling. “How did you get past the wardens?”

  “They don’t want you to die at Nexus’s hand either.”

  She opened her eyes. “I thought you were certain I can defeat him. You were so convinced before we parted.”

  “You have the potential, but I don’t want us to be apart anymore.”

  And that’s all she needed to hear to be convinced that this was just a trial, and that she had to just listen to Sekiro and keep moving. With a heavy heart, she removed Aerigo’s frozen hand. “I have to go, now. I’m sorry.”

  “Go where?”

  “To Thanatos and to Nexus.” She stepped back and walked around him.

  He caught her hand. “Please don’t. Please come with me. I don’t want you to go through the pain of fighting Nexus.”

  She kept walking. “I have to. It’s for the greater good. You know deep down that I’m doing the right thing.” Her eyes blurred with tears. Fake Aerigo or real, this was tearing her apart. She wanted to find somewhere to hide and cry alone.

  “No, you’re not. Come with me. I love you.” He tugged her towards the archway he’d entered.

  Roxie pried her hand free and kept moving for the exit on the right. She wiped her eyes and sniffed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Please don’t go, Rox. I love you so much.”

  Bowing her head, she closed her eyes as she walked through the archway.

  “Don’t you love me? Rox?”

  Covering her ears, she took her first step up the stairs and heard Aerigo say, “No, Rox” in a thick voice. The archway sealed up, plunging her in darkness yet again. She took one more step and sank to her knees, overcome with grief. She pressed her forehead to a stair as she fought back tears, the stone cold against her burning skin.

  “No more,” she whispered between sobs. “Please no more.”

  It felt like something or someone was trying to steer her away from Thanatos, discouraging her with one obstacle after another. Part of her didn’t want to go through any more pain, emotional or physical, but life was full of challenges that needed overcoming one by one. She just had to dig deep and keep moving forward.

  Roxie wiped her eyes and gazed up the archway stairs lit by energy sprites. How much farther was it? How much more did she have to endure? Why was she even being put through all this? It seemed so cruel.

  Whatever the reason, she had to get up and keep moving.

  After some time and the tears slowed, Roxie slowly got to her feet and took several deep breaths. She honestly didn’t know how much more of this she could take. Would it be worth the effort? If Thanatos refused to help, then no. But if he did, she’d make sure it all wouldn’t be a waste. But...

  Roxie shook her head. She needed to focus on getting out of the Realm of the Dead, not stress over how tough things got. She had too many people counting on her to have her morale break now. She resumed trudging up the stairs.

  This flight stretched on and on, and she began to worry her next trial was to climb stairs until she could climb no more. It’d be a welcome change of pace, compared to dealing with souls that wanted to steer her away from her task. However, another archway appeared around the bend and her steps faltered, her chest tightening. She swallowed and resumed climbing the last several steps, clutching her hilt for comfort. Once she strode inside, she stopped, confused. There’d been at least one archway in every chamber up to this point, but not in this one.

  The archway behind her sealed up, rendering her trapped with nowhere to go.

  “Trying to get out, little Aigis?” a familiar mild voice said.

  Roxie’s stomach dropped to her feet. That voice belonged to Nexus. She drew her sword and held it tight, her entire body shaking. She tried to slip into her emotionally detached state but it just wouldn’t come. She was too scared.

  “I’d wondered if I’d actually killed you.”

  Roxie turned around and around, trying to pinpoint where the voice came from but everywhere she turned, it always sounded like he was right behind her.

  “Now I’m glad I’ve come to check and make sure. Time to join your beloved Aerigo in the afterlife.”

  The instant Roxie felt something metallic and sharp press against her neck, she swatted it away and flailed her sword. Nexus jumped out of the way, a replica of Aerigo’s dagger in one hand.

  Sight of that blade made her livid. If Nexus was smug enough to think he could kill her the same way, he was wrong. Dead wrong. Eyes and sword glowing, she yelled, “Kneel!”

  Nexus dropped to his knees, then held up his hand wielding the dagger. His arm elongated, the dagger’s tip aimed right for Roxie’s heart.

  “Stop!” The blade stopped a foot away from her cuirass. “Drop the dagger.” The blade clanged onto the stone floor and Nexus stared at her helplessly. Roxie stomped on the blade shattering it, then ground the shards with a heel, turning the metal to powder. No way she’d give him the chance to use the shards either.

  Nexus’s arm lengthened and wrapped around Roxie’s neck like a whip. She severed the arm and tore the coils of flesh off. He screamed in agony and surged to his feet.

  “You arrogant brat!” He lunged at her with the intent to kill her with his bare hands as he reformed his arm.

  Ducking, Roxie sliced through his arms at the elbow and speared him in the back of the head with the serrated edge of her shield. Nexus went down face-first, then rolled onto his back and sat up.

  “Die!”

  Roxie felt her chest tighten as he willed her heart to stop beating. She mentally pushed him away, flinging his body into the wall. He fell in a heap and she marched over, glowing sword at her side. When he sat up, she pressed her sword to his throat, her whole body shaking. She stabbed with all her superhuman strength and the blade plunged through flesh, bone, and stone, burying itself halfway to the hilt.

  Nexus’s dark eyes grew vacant as blood poured down his bare torso, a bubbling gurgle coming from the stab wound. His body turned to smoke and dissolved, and so did the blood on her sword. When every last scrap of him disappeared, Roxie yanked her sword free and stared at the empty space.

  Had she really just...? Was it really all over? Or had that been a fake? She stood, breathing hard as her body came down from an adrenaline rush.

  No, that couldn’t have been the real Nexus. There’s no way he’d go down so easily.

  Or did it really have to be as hard as she imagined it would?

  A huge hole in the ceiling opened up over the center of the chamber and light poured down in a column.

  Roxie cautiously stepped into the middle and looked up. The hole looked like it stretched for miles, all the way to the top of the mountain. The opening at the other end looked no bigger than a distant star.

  Roxie spread her wings, testing to see if she had enough room to extend them to their full span. She had a few feet to spare on either side. Good.

  No archway had appeared. This hole was her only option. Taking a deep breath, Roxie crouched, then launched into the a
ir, flapping her wings hard. She willed herself higher and higher, and the air whipped in her face and ears. She kept her gaze fixed on the opening as she watched it steadily grow, and beat her wings with thud after feathery thud.

  Once the opening started looking as big as the other had, she realized that sunlight was pouring in. There was more stone directly above the hole, but she didn’t care. Sunlight meant she had access to outside the mountain. If she had that, then she had to either be there or almost there.

  She slowed her ascent and arced over the lip into a vaulted chamber with many tunnels leading away in all directions. She alighted near the hole, sword held low at her side, and looked around as the hole sealed up seamlessly, like all the archways had. Roxie stared a moment, then shook the sight off. It didn’t matter. There was only one way out: up. And very far up she’d gone. On top of that, there was no turning back. Holes sealing up or not, it made no difference.

  Roxie took a second look at the chamber. Every last square inch of wall and ceiling was carved into the likeness of life-sized creatures, some she even recognized from Earth, human and animal. Were these replicas of every last living thing in the universe? Craning her neck, she took it all in, awed by how expansive and detailed the stonework was. How long had it all taken?

  Come to think of it, the answer didn’t matter. What really mattered was finding a way out, the right way out. She stood inside the hub to a dozen tunnel openings, carvings lining each one.

  In one corner free of tunnels lay two stone thrones sitting side by side, the armrests and chair backs covered in geometric lines. Roxie walked up to them but remained wary of her surroundings, stopping at what felt like a respectable distance away.

  Two figures wandered in from tunnels and marched purposefully up to the thrones.

  Children! They were children no more than ten, a boy and a girl. The boy had light hair and light skin like Roxie’s. The girl had dark hair and mulatto skin. She wore a white sundress and her feet were bare. The boy wore a black button-down shirt with black slacks, and no shoes as well. Both children fixed her with serious gazes that gave her the impression they were wise beyond their years. They both had two different-colored eyes, one blue and one brown.