Determination

by Angela B. Macala-Guajardo

  “You have arrived at last, Roxie Lohr,” the boy said. “I am Thanatos, Keeper of Time, and god of the dead.”

  “And I am Keres,” the girl said, “his sister, Keeper of Souls, and goddess of the dead. Welcome at last.” Her gaze remained serious, studious.

  Thanatos said, “You have passed six trials to get here.”

  “We are the seventh and final,” Keres said. “Judgement.”

  Roxie said, “All those people were trials?”

  “Yes. They were all specters, nothing more.”

  “Pass this final trial,” Thanatos said, “and we will send you off to battle Nexus.”

  So she was going to have to face Nexus all again. Twice had been rough enough. And since that hadn’t been the real Aerigo, Roxie felt a wave of relief wash over her. And same with Daio. Hopefully this meant he was making progress with all his regrets.

  Keres said, “Fail and you will die.”

  Roxie said, “Why do I need to fight you? Haven’t I proven myself already?”

  “No,” they both said.

  Thanatos said, “When we fight you, we’ll be trying to kill you.”

  “Defeat us,” Keres said, “and we will let you go forth. If you fail, we see no point in throwing you at Nexus.”

  “It would be far more merciful to kill you ourselves.”

  “Nexus won’t give you a swift and painless death,” Keres said sadly.

  Thanatos raised his fists. “Show us what you’re worth, Aigis.”

  Chapter 23

  Identity Crisis

  Baku couldn’t bring the memories back or make Nexus return the worlds, but he could console Leviathan. The memories would stay repressed, unless Baku returned to the severed world. However, knowledge of having those repressed memories was fading, too. This happened because of safety measures put in place long ago. Passing divine ownership of worlds was virtually unheard of. No god wanted another meddling with their creations. It was like having completed an art project, putting it up for display, and then having someone come over and cover it in graffiti, or worse, destroy all that hard work.

  When a god revoked ownership of a world, by death or by choice, memory of its existence was forgotten by all who knew of it. The severed world could be rediscovered and reclaimed, or even taken up by another god, but in the few times worlds had become godless, it was rare to stumble upon them, and rarer still for them to be reclaimed.

  Now why was he even thinking about godless planets?

  Oh, that’s right: Nexus and his war.

  Nexus, still fifty feet tall, tossed Leviathan’s gargantuan body on the ground. The dragon coiled up and lay there, his huge body rising and falling with every breath. Nexus gave Leviathan a look of smug satisfaction and flew to the top of his plateau, shrinking out of sight. Baku and Kara alighted by Leviathan’s head and pressed their hands to scales as big as their bodies, hoping to comfort him. He’d suffered a huge loss, but Baku struggled to recall what that loss was.

  ‘Phaedra,’ Leviathan whispered longingly.

  “Who?” Baku said.

  ‘My world. Nexus abandoned one of my worlds. Have you forgotten?’

  “Forgotten what?” Baku looked to Kara but she only shrugged.

  ‘Phaedra was one of my worlds. Nexus inherited it when my mortals were wiped out, but the pain of their sorrow was too much for him and he severed his ownership of it.’

  So that was the real reason why Baku had been thinking about severed worlds. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry, Leviathan. My memories pertaining to that world have been repressed. I can’t remember any of it, unless you can take me back there. How do you even remember it exists?”

  Tears fell down his snout. ‘Because I made that world, and now I don’t even know where it is; only that it exists. No Creator can forget their creations.’

  “There has to be a way for you to reclaim it, Leviathan,” Kara said.

  ‘Not while your son lives,’ he said, closing his eyes. ‘This design. This stupid, selfish design... Us gods think we’re so much better than our mortals, but we couldn’t be any more wrong.’

  “What do you mean?”

  ‘I was there when we designed things to be this way. We all thought we were playing it safe, when in reality we were being selfish.’

  “Are you talking about hiding severed worlds from one another?” Kara asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Leviathan said unhappily.

  “There has to be a way.”

  ‘Aerigo is dead,’ the dragon said, turning his head so he looked at them with both eyes as big as them. ‘My last shred of hope lies with Roxie. Baku, where is she?’

  “Out of reach in the Realm of the Dead,” he said unhappily. He could see his reflection in both giant eyes.

  Leviathan bared his fangs. ‘Thanatos... He might kill her, thinking it an act of mercy.’

  “We have to believe in her,” Baku insisted.

  ‘I witnessed her release Frava,’ Leviathan said, a trace of awe in his baritone voice, ‘but I also watched her fall out of awareness. What makes you think she’ll fare better with a second attempt?’

  Kara stood behind Baku and wrapped her arms around his torso. “There’s nothing to say she will, but we have to have faith in her.”

  ‘She is strong, but so was Aerigo. He was a seasoned warrior; she’s a mere child thrown into chaos. Thanatos will know this when they meet, and he will judge her worth. Her task is nigh impossible.’

  “She doesn’t know that,” Baku said plainly.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  “Roxie doesn’t grasp how difficult her task truly is. She only knows it’s very hard. One of my mortals once said that it’s easier to achieve the impossible when you don’t know what you’re trying to do is, in fact, impossible.” Baku felt Kara’s face stretch into a smile against his shoulder.

  ‘You speak a contradiction.’

  “Reality is what you perceive it to be. Our vast knowledge works against us sometimes. Roxie sees her confrontation with Nexus as frightening and difficult, but something she must do. We see it from the perspective of gods who’ve watched so much unfold, calculated so many odds, planned for countless outcomes, etcetera. I’m as scared for her and just as daunted as you, but at the same time there’s always hope, possibility. The most improbable of odds happen all the time. We have to have hope for her, have to have faith in her abilities as an Aigis.”

  “I do,” Kara said.

  “Thank you.” He touched her hand affectionately. “I do, too, despite my fears. I can’t bring myself to believe I created her in vain. And if she does make it back, I want to help her.”

  ‘You’ll fight your own son alongside her?’ Leviathan tilted his head and looked at him with one eye.

  Baku bowed his head. “I believe it’s the right thing to do.” He looked up, suddenly remembering. “Leviathan, Vancor has taken hold over my son. Your suspicions were right.”

  Leviathan looked at them with both eyes again, his draconic face severe. ‘This changes many things. Your son may be innocent.’

  “I don’t think he entirely is,” Kara said unhappily.

  ‘We won’t know for sure, unless we can help Nexus free himself from Vancor’s hold.’ He gazed at the battlefield. ‘It would be better to have an army of Aigis clean up our mess, but I don’t see this war lasting long enough to give such numbers time to grow up and grow strong. Judging by the way this prophecy has unfolded, many are eager to see it through.’

  “If I help Roxie, you fear it’ll turn into another war between gods, don’t you?” He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was headed.

  Leviathan nodded. ‘We don’t want a repeat of that bit of history.’

  “No,” Kara agreed unhappily. “But we can’t all sit back and watch Roxie die like we did Aerigo.”

  Baku said, “I’m willing to risk a repeat of history to keep her alive and stop this prophecy from reaching completion.”

  ‘Have you tried persuading your son to call
it off?’

  “Nexus is dead set on seeing it through. He won’t entertain the possibility that the prophecy is Vancor’s want, and not his.”

  ‘You’re going to have to accept that it may very well be,’ Leviathan said, ‘leaving us with few ways out of this mess with only minor repercussions.’ He glanced at the plateau and Baku followed his gaze.

  From their steep angle, the plateau looked unoccupied. Even the tree lay out of sight.

  ‘Our armies may arise victorious.’ His voice grew distant, pained. ‘Those who survive will spare their respective gods from sharing the same fate as me. It would be better still to have the last living Aigis either kill Nexus or shatter his will. Remove the prophet and he can no longer see his prophecy through.’

  If or when Roxie returned to this realm, Baku hoped she had to only break Nexus’s will. He wanted a chance to get to know and love his real son, the person he was supposed to be.

  ‘However, it would be best to have your son call off the prophecy, instead of rely on an Aigis.’

  “But in order to do that,” Baku said unhappily, “we have to remove Vancor’s hold over him.”

  ‘And only Nexus can accomplish that.’

  Kara’s hug tightened. “I could break Vancor’s will for him. If we ever cross paths again, that satyr will feel a mother’s wrath.”

  ‘As deserving as he is, think of his mortals. They know nothing of their god’s selfishness. Don’t make them suffer for Vancor’s transgressions.’

  “I want my son back,” Kara said angrily.

  ‘Dare I ask what price you’re willing to make innocents pay to get what you want?’

  Kara glared over Baku’s shoulder. “The same price my family and I have. Vancor’s mortals will recover in time, as will we. I know it’s selfish, but what Vancor has done is far more selfish. But still, hopefully Roxie will spare his mortals from the fate I’m willing to give them. I would rather leave it up to her.”

  “Will you help me if she finally makes it back?” Baku asked her.

  “Of course.”

  ‘Help her fight your own son?’ Leviathan asked skeptically.

  Kara rested her chin on Baku’s shoulder. “If it’s just one-on-one, no. I feel it’d be best to stay out of it. But if others come to his defense, I will come to Roxie’s.”

  ‘Don’t.’

  “I understand there are risks, Leviathan, but I’m willing to take them.”

  ‘Don’t.’

  “Why not?”

  ‘You weren’t there for the War of Creationism. Learn from history. Please.’

  “But she’s only one Aigis.”

  ‘Let her accomplish what she can. We are better off picking up the pieces to the fulfilled prophecy than we are what’s left of a war between gods.’

  “There wouldn’t be much to pick up after the latter,” Baku said unhappily.

  ‘Exactly. We’d have to remake the universe yet again. We’d have to reorganize around shattered gods, along with those slain by Aigis who’d come after Roxie. Please don’t be the pebble that starts such a devastating avalanche. Please, Kara.’

  Raising her head, Kara stood quietly, forehead creased, thoughts racing behind her emerald eyes, and a slight frown on her face. She closed her eyes and let out a resigned sigh. “As much as it hurts, I’ll heed your wisdom. You were there for that war. I wasn’t.”

  ‘Thank you. My hopes lay with Roxie as well. For now, please let me go mourn my losses. My heart is heavy.’

  Baku nodded. “I’ll come by your realm after all this plays out.”

  “As will I,” Kara said. “I won’t let you mourn alone.”

  ‘Thank you. Farewell.’ Leviathan raised his gargantuan head and vanished, leaving a huge amount of empty space in his place.

  Baku took Kara’s hands in his.

  “I want to try talking with Nexus one more time,” Kara said.

  “About what?”

  “Promise to stay quiet and let me handle it, no matter what he and I say?”

  He raised an eyebrow at her.

  She shook his hands. “Promise,” she urged.

  “I don’t like the sound of this but I promise.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you want me to stay out of sight as well?”

  “No. I would rather you accompany me. Vancor might say things through him and I don’t want to be alone for that.”

  “I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you.”

  They kissed each other on the lips, something they hadn’t done in far too long, and kissed harder. Baku cupped her face and pulled her body to him. She pressed her weight again him and wrapped her arms around his waist. The war, the prophecy, Vancor--none of it seemed to matter now that he and Kara were together again. To love and be loved was the greatest feeling in the universe.

  The din of war ate at their moment of bliss and they pulled back. Baku ran a hand through Kara’s waist-length hair and she smiled. “I’m so glad to have you back,” he said.

  “I was always with you in spirit. Do you trust me after all this time?”

  “Of course.”

  Kara gave him one more kiss on the lips and flew to the top of the plateau. Baku followed and alighted behind her, sending dust clouds up around his ankles.

  Nexus stood near his gnarled tree, but spun, fists raised, at the sound of their bare feet slapping on the rock. When he recognized them, the wild look in his eyes vanished and he lowered his fists. “Now what do you want?”

  Kara said, “To have a mother-son talk.”

  “It can wait until after my prophecy is fulfilled.” He gazed out at the battlefield, shoulders tense, knees slightly bent, as if ready for a fight.

  Was their son starting to fray? He looked paranoid, as if anticipating Roxie jumping out and attacking him at any moment. Kara, does he look as unnerved to you as he does to me? Baku said telepathically.

  Yes. All the more reason to talk now.

  Scowling, Nexus took a step forward. “I see that look in both your eyes. What are you hiding from me?”

  Maybe you shouldn’t, Kara. It might push him farther away from us.

  I have to try.

  Good luck then, my beloved.

  Kara took a tentative step forward. When Nexus didn’t shy away, she took another. “Nexus, we’re hiding nothing.”

  “You were speaking telepathically. Try harder to mask your lies.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “It was necessary.”

  “You betray my trust, Mother. Now leave me be.”

  “Nexus, you’re not acting like yourself.” She took another step closer.

  “I said leave!”

  She held out her arms. “Is that you or Vancor telling me to leave?”

  Nexus opened his mouth to retort but he only sucked in a breath and fell silent, his brows creased with doubt. “I must concede we have no way of knowing, until I find a way to remove his hold over me.”

  “Then let’s focus on getting that done first.”

  “No! The culmination of my prophecy comes first. In addition, I’m trying to get used to this new awareness of worlds and mortals that are now mine. Leave me.”

  She lowered her arms. “How do you know the prophecy is what you want?”

  “It has given me the power of a Creator. This is what I’ve wanted for so long. How many times do I have to tell you?”

  “What about the part of your prophecy that goes, ‘and prophet: beware the sword of light’?”

  The wild look of a cornered animal passed over his face again. He looked around the realm and held out his arms. “Do you see any sword?”

  “Roxie had one.”

  He glared but fear lined his dark eyes. “Do you see her, either?”

  “She’ll try to get back here.”

  “Like Thanatos will let her march right out of his own realm. He’ll kill her like the intruder she is.”

  “I’m certain he’s aware of your prophecy and
how it’s upsetting things. What’s to say he won’t help Roxie in hopes of stopping you?”

  “Because he’s the outcast of our divine society. He likes dead things, that’s why.”

  “You don’t know him,” Kara said patiently.

  “No more than you do.”

  “Perhaps. He’s very reclusive. But that’s beside the point. If neither of us know him very well, then how can we know what he’ll do?” She took another step closer, bringing herself to just outside arm’s reach. “I’m trying to prepare you for your least-favored outcome and save your life.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Say that Roxie makes it back here. She’ll try to kill you or break your will, so your prophecy can’t be fulfilled.”

  “Aerigo was a thousand times the warrior she is and I killed him.” Nexus smiled. “Are you so desperate to persuade me that you’ll try to make me afraid of a child?”

  “You are afraid. You tried to have her killed before she even knew Mana and Frava exist.”

  “Father’s the one who created her. Not my fault she’s so young and inexperienced. I was simply being thorough.”

  Kara’s eyes hardened. “Then tell me: would you have arranged to get Daio killed as well, if Aerigo hadn’t been forced to kill him for you?”

  Nexus smirked. “Of course. He thought he did a good job of hiding his hate. He spelled his own doom with his lack of loyalty.”

  Kara took another step and slapped her son across the face. “Vancor, release your hold over my son now!”

  Eyes wide, Nexus staggered and clutched his cheek. “You... slapped me.”

  “Nexus, I don’t want you to die! You’re my son and I love you, flaws and all.”

  “Then protect me from your beloved Aigis you insist I should fear.”

  “I am trying to right now but you don’t see it.”

  “What I see is you trying to persuade me to call off my prophecy.”

  “Because that’s the only way I see how to save you.”

  Nexus gave her a flat look. “I’ll take my chances with a child. I’m not giving up on what I’ve worked so hard to accomplish. Now leave me.”