Starving For Vengeance

by Debra Kayn

  "Where the fuck is Lilly?" Rain widened his stance. "No talking in circles either. I want it straight. Is she okay?"

  "Far as I know." Lee caught sight of Bruce behind the bar and held up a finger in acknowledgement. "She's staying with Kurt and Risa at their house, and hanging with the Silver Girls. Hell, Prez, it's Federal. She's surrounded by family. What can happen?"

  "Everything, or have you forgotten Los Li has been there twice and we're lucky our numbers didn't drop," Rain said.

  Lee dropped the charade. "The wars over, Prez. We're finally free."

  "I heard." Rain grabbed Lee's neck, squeezed with a strength that came as no surprise to Lee. "No words, brother, for the sacrifices you made for all of us."

  Lee braced at the emotions pooling to the surface. His reasons were selfish. He'd made a promise. He'd had a purpose.

  "You haven't seen Shari from Federal, have you?" Lee said.

  "Right." Rain's mouth twitched in amusement. "She's in the office with Torque, Brandy, and your parents."

  Lee slapped Rain's shoulder. "Thanks, Prez."

  He headed down the hallway. The first thing he wanted to do was talk to Shari, then speak with his parents, and then he wanted to get the hell out of Pitnam and take Shari back to Federal where they could start over.

  He knocked on the door with one hand, and swung it open with the other. His gaze passed over his dad, Slade, and his step-mom, Taylor. Torque and Brandy moved into view and he looked behind them. The only person he needed to see wasn't in the room.

  "Where's Shari?" he asked.

  No one answered, and instead they all grinned at him. Except Taylor, she covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. He stepped forward, opening up his arms and held his step mom.

  Taylor's body rocked with silent sobs. His dad cupped the back of his head, leaned forward, and kissed his forehead. That's when it hit him. He'd denied himself the pleasure of having his family, security, and love in his daily life for a vengeance he'd fulfilled.

  "It's over," he whispered, swallowing hard.

  There were months he wasn't sure if he'd live through the danger, the gunshots, the injuries, the threats. For years, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to return to Bantorus, let alone his family, and be true to himself. He'd done things he was ashamed of and broken more laws than he could name.

  Yet, here within his family, within his club, he was accepted. He cleared his throat and leaned back, breaking Taylor's hold on him. Everything he had would be so much more if he could find the woman that belonged to him.

  "Prez said Shari was in here." He reached over and knuckle bumped Torque's hand.

  "She was," Torque said.

  Brandy gave him a quick hug. "He's messing with you. He just dropped her off at Raul and Crystal's house and arrived a few seconds before you stepped in the room."

  "Thanks, sweetheart." He kissed Brandy's cheek. "Good to see you all, and I'd catch up with you, but I have a woman that needs to listen."

  Taylor leaned into his dad, who put an arm around her shoulders. "Slow down and give her a chance to talk with you."

  He stopped and looked at Taylor closely. "What?"

  His dad held Taylor tighter and added his own two cents. "Be you. If that means talking through the night until you've said everything your heart tells you, then you talk through the night. A woman willing to listen will always be there for you, son."

  Slow down? Talk? He left the room more confused than when he'd entered. He texted Shari again as he walked out the back door of the bar to avoid being stopped again. He pocketed the phone and jogged around the building to his Harley. He had no idea what was going on, and when the hell had his dad started spouting advice as if he was that Confucius dude?

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Shari sat in Raul and Crystal's rambling ranch house staring at her phone. Her hand shook, and she put the cell on sleep mode and slid it back into her pocket. Lee had texted her three times in the last hour, and she found it hard not to push the call button and hear his voice. She was anxious to find out what he wanted to tell her, and scared it was too soon.

  Lee needed time to make sure he knew what he was doing and he was ready to put himself into a relationship with her. She couldn't go on being his lover, when she loved him. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the man for her, but she needed him to be in the same place as she was and open himself up more, to accept the things he'd done, and look forward to the future. Lee was stubborn and he'd lived through so much, it might not be possible for him to find the peace he needed to be happy.

  Over the phone it was hard to tell if he was being his normal bossy self or actually needed something from her. She blinked hard, and brought her attention back to Raul.

  "Sorry. It was Lee." She leaned forward, hoping whatever reason Raul had her travel from California to Pitnam in the middle of the night and half the morning was important.

  Raul reached over and placed his hand on Crystal's leg, while directing his attention to Shari. "Are you planning on returning his call?"

  "Is that why you had Torque and Brandy bring me to another state and pull me away from starting my life over? You want me to tell you what's going on between Lee and me?" Shari asked. "You wasted both our time."

  Raul smiled. Shari eased back in the chair and tried to calm down. He was a rather striking older man with gentle eyes and a killer accent that could've swayed her to listen to what he had to say about her uncle if she wasn't more concerned about Lee.

  "I won't make you wait any longer." Raul's voice softened and he continued. "I trust that this will stay between you and me, amiga."

  She nodded, used to secrets and keeping her mouth shut. "Of course."

  "Before I became a Bantorus MC member, I was the president of Lagsturns MC out of California. Your uncle joined Lagsturns while I was in charge of the club." He paused, waiting for her to ingest the information.

  "Okay," she said.

  "Prior to being the president, I was a federal agent working undercover in the same division as your uncle, first for Lagsturns Motorcycle Club—"

  "Oh, God." She covered her mouth, not expecting to hear Raul was a Fed, or he'd belonged to the outlaw MC out of California.

  "I walked away from being president with an outlaw MC to become a lifer for Bantorus. My decision saved my life. When Crystal received a death threat against her life from Los Li, I decided then that I would do anything to keep her alive," he said, his accent growing thicker.

  "Of course you would," she said. "But what does that have to do with Uncle Ted?"

  "Your uncle was in Lagsturns to keep an eye on Crystal to find if there was a connection to the mafia through my old lady and her father who was an evangelical preacher." Raul looked at Crystal. "Her father was caught smuggling money out of the country for the mafia. Of course, Crystal had no idea what her dad was up to, because she'd been estranged from her parents for years. In the end, Tango was the man who arrested Crystal's father."

  Crystal had placed her hand over the center of her chest, between her boobs, and fingered the tattooed skin showing over her tight Tee. "It's okay. Go on and tell her."

  Raul turned back to Shari. "When the events during that time period ended, Tango was taken off the case—or so I was told by my supervisor. I continued to work undercover, half-assed, I might add, until I retired five years ago."

  "You never saw my uncle again?" She tried to count back the years. "This was what...twenty two years ago? I would've been eight. It was after my parents died and I was living with Uncle Ted. He couldn't have been working the field, because he was raising me."

  "Twenty four years ago. Your parents were still alive."

  She rubbed the back of her neck. "Okay, that makes sense then."

  "A little over five years ago, I received an early morning visit from your uncle. He trusted me because of our days in Lagsturns MC, and told me some facts he wanted you to know in case anything happened to him. You see, he was under some heavy pres
sure by Los Li and feared he'd gotten in too deep. I've held on to what he told me, hoping our meeting would never be necessary. As you've probably guessed, the federal government isn't quite so generous with their information they pass on to family members. I swore on my life, on the brotherhood, that I'd deliver the information so that you could heal and find closure. That's why you're here today," Raul said.

  Her stomach clenched and she scooted forward in the chair. "What did he tell you?"

  "First, you need to remember what all Lee and your uncle accomplished by bringing in Los Li. Their numbers are down to nothing, making them no longer a threat to anyone. It'll take years, our lifetimes, for the mafia to find enough loyal members to rebuild to the size they were just two weeks ago." Raul struggled to his one good foot and hopped around to the other side of the coffee table, and sat in front of her. "Give me your hands, amiga."

  She placed her hands inside of his. He squeezed, and her heart pounded loud enough to muffle the steady ticking of the clock behind her on the wall.

  "You were told your parents died during a vehicle accident when someone ran through a red light, and that's not the truth. That story was told to a young child who was heartbroken and too young to be told what really happened," he said.

  Hope filled her and she held on to his hands, pulling herself closer. "Are they alive?"

  "Oh, sweet girl, no." His chin dipped to his chest, and he paused before looking up at her again. "Your parents were involved in an automobile accident, but it was a hit from Los Li toward your uncle who had been discovered working undercover within Los Li. They retaliated by harming Tango's family—your parents. That was your uncle's warning to back off Los Li."

  She pulled away from him and stood, walking to the other side of the room. Her whole life she'd thought her parents were at the wrong place at the wrong time. A freak accident. An unfortunate loss.

  Uncle Ted had told her stories for months, going through all the details making sure she knew they never suffered, that someday she'd see them again, and that he loved her and would always be with her. She curled her fingers and bumped her fist against the mantle several times. In the end, Los Li killed every person in her family.

  Her eyes burned, but the tears never came. She'd already cried herself out, and all she could muster was anger. Her family was innocent, and they'd paid dearly with their lives.

  "Your uncle wanted you to know the truth in case he couldn't finish the job and Los Li still posed a threat. That's not the case, and he finished the job with his life."

  She shuddered, shaking her head. Overwhelmed with the information, she tried to understand the life long battle to take down Los Li.

  "I'm sorry, amiga." Raul muttered in Spanish. "Tango would've liked you to never learn the truth, because he wanted to give you a carefree life. He loved you very much."

  She pulled her shoulders back and turned. "Is that all he said?"

  Raul nodded.

  "Okay..." She blew out the bitter air that threatened to suffocate her. "Thank you."

  Raul frowned. "Shari—"

  "No." She held up her hand, backing toward the door. "I appreciate the information. I do. It hurts, and I'm angry. I'd like to make each one of the members of Los Li feel the pain of losing their family too, and I never thought I'd be the kind of person who wishes to harm another. I'd like to..."

  She closed her eyes for a moment. Rage bubbled inside of her, and she wanted to strike out on everyone who had a hand in disrupting her life.

  "Shari, go to Lee." Raul pushed himself into a standing position, wobbling on one foot. "He's the one person who knows what you are feeling. He's watched Los Li scar his family. He's watched a man who stepped into his life and feed his anger toward Los Li die a week ago."

  She pressed her hand into her stomach, sick, and more wrong than she'd ever been before. Walking away from Lee broke her heart, and she'd thought he needed to learn to love himself when what he really needed was her love. She understood why he fought to bring down the mafia his whole life.

  "I need to go." She moved forward and hugged Raul tightly. "Thank you for being loyal to my uncle."

  "Go to him, amiga. Don't let Los Li continue to win," he whispered in her ear.

  Desperately needing to leave and go back to Federal, she agreed. "I'll try."

  "We're here if you need us, honey," Crystal added.

  "Thank you," she mouthed, already planning her trip to Federal.

  Nervous energy left her jumpy and hurried her along. If Torque weren't able to drive her to Idaho, she'd use the money in her purse to fly to Spokane. From there, she'd hitch a ride if she had to, but she needed to explain to Lee why she'd left. He had to understand she was doing what she thought was right and giving him time to adjust and forgive himself.

  God, she was so wrong. She should've stayed with him, and instead she'd hurt him more.

  Outside, she looked for Torque's car in the driveway, and found Lee sitting on his Harley. Her whole body tingled in awareness. The adrenaline over finding him here fed her. The sun warmed her. The breeze refreshed her.

  Overstimulated and overwrought after going a week without Lee in her life catapulted her forward. She studied every inch of his body, afraid to take her gaze off him only to find out she was hallucinating. His windblown hair tangled at his shoulders and his eyes—God, his eyes were alive and they were locked on her.

  The closer she got to him, the easier it was to breathe. He'd come, and he was wide open, letting her see inside of him.

  He continued to watch her, not saying a word. All he did was toe the foot peg up and straighten his Harley. That was enough. She climbed up behind him without any hesitation and wrapped her arms around his waist.

  Hard, warm, and alive, he anchored her to the back of his motorcycle. She laid her cheek against his shoulder. The bike started, and Lee turned in the driveway and took off down the street. The engine roared, the wind blew, and she took the most important ride of her life.

  There were no words exchanged between them. He wanted to put her on the back of his motorcycle, pledge his life to her, and claim her as his woman. She had no reason to question him, because she believed in him.

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  The door to Cabin B behind Cactus Cove stood wide open. Lee led Shari in by the hand and shut the door. One of the old ladies must've came out and aired out the place, knowing he'd be staying here today.

  "Whose cabin?" Shari said, breaking her silence after hopping on his motorcycle.

  Lee stood in front of her, itching to put his hands on her, and knowing when he did, he wasn't going to stop touching her. "Bantorus owned. The single riders and the bitches stay in them."

  "Ah." She caught her lip under her front teeth and looked everywhere but at him. "That's where Kurt got the idea for the Federal Charter to build a cabin for us...the girls."

  "Doll, look at me." He slipped his hands into his back pockets, unable to trust himself not to rush.

  Shari gazed up at him in wonder. "I got on the back of your Harley," she whispered.

  "Yeah, you did," he whispered back.

  Suddenly, he had all the time in the world. She understood her actions, and he damn sure took her warming his back to heart. Everything else would work out, given time.

  "I'm about three seconds away from falling apart, and the only thing I want to tell you right now is...I've fallen in love with you." She inflated her cheeks, looking adorable, and blew the air out. "This last week was the worst week of my life without you, and yet because of all the bad things that'd happened, I understand you so much better. I was wrong about you needing to wait."

  He shook his head. "I wasn't going to wait. I was heading to California as soon as I finished my business here to be there when you were ready. I tried giving you space and time, but there was no way I was going to let you leave my life...even if that meant relocating near you and making sure you were happy."

  "You were coming to California?" she said, stepping c
loser.

  Everything in him relaxed, except his cock, which pulsed to life. "I promised not to leave you, doll. I should've told you instead that if you leave me, I'm going to track you down and do whatever I have to so that you don't feel like you have to walk away from me again."

  She raised her hands and cupped his face. "Touch me."

  He freed his hands and stared up at the ceiling. "About fucking time."

  Then her hands were at his waist. His gaze came down on her and he felt alive again.

  "You've got too many clothes on, doll," he ordered, his voice thick.

  In her hurry to undress, she tripped over her shorts without taking her shoes off. He steadied her, while she toed off her sneakers, and helped her with her top and bra. He'd flustered his dancer, and knowing he affected her that way had him wearing a shit-ass grin.

  "I want you," she said, wrinkling her nose when she pitched forward with her panties around her ankles. "God, get them off before I break my neck."

  He planted his boot between her legs, lifted her by the waist, and stood her naked in front of him. Then he took off his vest and T-shirt while he watched her watch him.

  Her eyelids half covered her eyes as she took him in. His balls tightened and ached in pleasure at her attention. She lowered herself to her knees and unlaced his boots. He paused undoing his zipper and plunged his hand into her hair. Damn, he'd missed her.

  Nothing was right with her away from him. She'd stepped into his life with a solid attitude and strength that had him thinking the impossible. She'd wrapped her legs around him, forcing him to make decisions he'd never thought about before. Without her constant reminder that he was worth the trouble, he would've been lost.

  "Every night you're in my bed," he said.

  She pulled off his boots. "That's the only place I want to be."

  He had the rest of his clothes off in seconds. "Bedroom."

  She searched the cabin, spotted the short six-foot long hallway, grabbed his hand, and led the way. Once inside the bedroom, he picked her up, and covered her on the bed, bracing his weight.