by Kyle Autumn
His words stop my heart. And time. Everything comes to a point as I take in what he just said. He loves me. Still loves me. After all this time. After no response from that text message. After everything we have and haven’t been through. He loves me.
Tears clog my throat, so I can’t say it back. I want to. Because I do. So much. It’s always been him. And I don’t have time to think about how I can’t give him the life he’s pictured because he’s kissing me, setting me back on the bed, and working himself out of his boxers.
Our kisses are frantic. Desperate. We can’t possibly make up for six years in one weekend, but he sure as hell will try. When his erection presses against my stomach, my need for him skyrockets. I wrap my legs around his waist, helping him to position himself at my opening. Before he enters me, though, he reaches between my legs.
He must find what he was looking for, because he moans into my mouth. “So ready for me,” he mumbles against my lips, his own curled into a smirk.
“Mhm,” I moan back, arching my pelvis forward to spur him on.
Finally, he takes the hint. Inch by slow inch, he eases into me. His gaze stays locked on mine as he buries himself to the hilt. Once he’s fully inside, he pauses, holding himself up with his hands. Then he lowers one arm so he’s resting on that forearm, brings his lips to mine, and slides his free hand up my arm to hold my hand above my head. After that, he keeps his gaze on mine and finds a slow, easy rhythm. In and out. In and out. Glorious friction and sweet aches.
“God, Nic,” he says reverently. “You feel so good.”
It’s been too long since I’ve felt this taken care of. This loved. This adored.
He showers my face with kisses, not missing my jaw or my neck. His pace is exactly the one I need, and it’s almost like he can read my mind when he speeds it up a little. My breathing starts to pick up as a sensation I’ve never felt before spirals through my lower belly and all throughout my body. My legs begin to shake, and my toes curl as my body tenses up. Then, all at once, everything explodes.
I do. He does. We’re a tangle of groans and shouts. Words like Nic and Aidan go flying around the room just like I do, because I’m floating as colors explode before my eyelids. My entire body goes limp in a matter of moments, and I can’t seem to catch my breath yet. But I do manage to open my eyes and find him breathing just as heavily—but he looks a lot more alert than I feel.
“What?” I ask nervously, wishing I could cover my face.
“You’re cute when you get all shy on me.” He leans down to kiss me one last time before slipping out of me. Then he pops off the bed and disappears into the en suite bathroom. A few moments later, he returns with a damp washcloth. “But you’re so sexy when you’re carefree and coming on my—”
“Okay!” I try to snatch the washcloth from him, but he holds it out of reach.
“See?” he says before bopping me on the nose. “Cute.” He winks at me, and all I can do is laugh.
Gently, he spreads my legs and cleans me up with the washcloth. I watch in awe as he works so carefully between my legs, and when he’s done, he catches me.
“We, uh, didn’t use…” He points at the apex of my thighs to finish that question, raising the washcloth.
“Oh, yeah.” I wave a dismissive hand. “That’s okay.”
After he quirks an eyebrow, he freezes. “It is?”
“Yeah, I mean…” As I try to explain, I realize who I’m talking to. This is Aidan, not Mason. This isn’t usual for him, and he doesn’t know the truth. So I clear my throat and figure out how to make sense. “I’m healthy. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but…” He throws the washcloth into his laundry basket. “What about babies? We could have just made one.”
At his words, I swallow hard. My own words get lost between my brain and my mouth. The fact is that’s not possible right now—not in my condition. I just can’t get his hopes up. His eyes are lit up like a Christmas tree at the idea, which makes sense. The Aidan I know has always wanted a family. I guess I have to count my blessings that he wants one with me.
I hope he’ll accept me, my flaws, and what the future holds in order to have that family with me though.
“We’ll be more careful next time.” I kiss him on the cheek and get up to go to the bathroom.
“As long as there’ll be a next time!” he playfully calls after me.
I close the door, clinging to his words.
***
Aidan
Somehow, I was able to separate myself from Nic for work. I kissed her goodbye when I dropped her off at Jeremy’s house—the one he’s not sleeping in at the moment. But it wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it’d be. We agreed that we’ll actually go on a date when she’s a little more settled into life. Probably after Cadence and Matt come back from their honeymoon. Nic has a lot of training to do with Cadence before she leaves, and then Nic will be running the office while she’s gone. I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize Nic’s job. Even if that means putting our first date on hold until she’s ready. It’s a small price to pay to get the girl—and the life—of my dreams.
“Are you whistling?” Matt says as I walk to my Jeep after work.
I pull my keys from my pocket and smirk at him. Then I shrug and unlock my car.
In the middle of the parking lot, he slugs me on the shoulder. “You’re fucking whistling.” He’s smiling as he says, “Happy Aidan is weird. He whistles.”
I’m too happy to care about any of that. Because he’s right. I’m just damn happy. I got the girl. I can’t complain about my job. My friends can be dicks, but they mean well.
Life is good.
“Who whistles?” Jeremy asks as he shuts the driver’s side of his car. He jerks his head back and lowers his eyebrows when he sees me. “You? You’re whistling?”
“Right?” Matt reaches his vehicle. But then he does a double take toward his brother. “Wait a minute. Why are you here?”
Jeremy holds his uniform up in the air. “Just came in to drop this off.”
“I could have done it for you,” Matt tells him. “Why didn’t you ask me to do it?”
“I didn’t mind coming in, and I wanted to get my last check while I was at it.” Jeremy gives me a glance. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”
“It is good,” I tell him, smirking. Then I open my door and start whistling again as I bend to get in.
Once inside, I check my phone to see if I have any messages from Nic. I’m supposed to pick her up at five, but I think I might head there now even though I’ll be a little early. Watching her work is certainly not a hardship. I’ll be just fine.
Then a knock sounds on my window and startles me. When I see that it’s Jeremy, I roll the window down. He puts a hand on top of the roof and leans in a little.
“You’re good?” he asks, his eyebrows raised.
Slowly, I nod. “Yeah, man. Really good.”
He peeks around the parking lot, and when he’s satisfied, he leans in toward me a little more. “Does that mean Nic told you what’s going on with her?”
I squint at him. “That thing you were talking about before?”
He nods.
“No,” I answer. “I guess not.” Probably because we haven’t been talking a whole lot.
After a scoff, he wipes his mouth with one hand. “So she didn’t tell you.”
It’s not a question. It’s a statement. But I’m still confused as hell.
So I ask, “What is she supposed to tell me?” After a beat, I add, “And why do you know and I don’t?”
“I don’t know what it is,” Jeremy says, though that clears up nothing. “Not exactly. I just know that she got a phone call while she was here the first time. It sounded serious, and she seemed…off afterward. And I told her I wouldn’t tell you, but I can’t sit by and let her pretend like nothing’s wrong.”
I shake my head, putting one hand on the steering wheel. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but she’d tell
me if something were wrong.”
Jeremy shifts his weight and puts a thumb to his forehead. “Man, I’m telling you. I know what I heard. We had a conversation about it. She just didn’t tell me what it was. But you should really talk to her. Ask her what’s going on. It didn’t sound like it was no big deal.”
My anger starts to spike. “Dude, back off. If she wants to tell me, she’ll tell me. Honestly, I don’t give a shit about whatever it is. If you lost Amelia, you’d do anything to get her back.” I huff out a breath. “Don’t you think that’d include having a little patience when it came to her private shit? Let it the hell go.”
Backing up, he raises his hands in a surrender position, his old uniform dangling from one hand. “Fine, man. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that, he spins around and heads into the office.
The fuck was that about? If there’s something going on with Nic, she’d tell me. Right? If it were important, she’d want me to know. There’s nothing she can’t tell me. She has to know that by now. If we’re going to make this work, we need honesty. But we also need trust.
As I pull out into traffic, I wonder just how much leniency I should give her on this. What if it’s something like her health? Could she be sick? Dying? Is that why she came back now? Did she find the courage to leave my brother and live the life she wanted before because she’s been given only a few months to live?
No, that’s ridiculous. Anyone given a few months to live doesn’t immediately start working in a real estate office. And I only found out she was here because of that errand I ran. She didn’t come straight to me. Who knows when she planned on telling me she was here. She eventually would have. She would have had to, considering who she works for and has become friends with.
Really good friends with, actually.
It makes me so damn happy that she gets along with the people I’ve come to know lately. We all feel like this big happy family, and the more we pair off, the better it feels. The happier we become. I never dreamed I’d get this kind of life, but it’s in my grasp. And I won’t even think about letting it go. So if that means letting Nic tell me about whatever’s going on with her on her own time, so be it. It’s the least I can do if it means I can keep her around and earn her trust.
Earn her love.
She didn’t say it back yesterday. Granted, I didn’t give her that much time to do so. I didn’t want her to say it back just because I did. And I didn’t want her to feel compelled to explain why she doesn’t love me yet. It’s been two fucking days and I’ve barely given her any of that room to breathe she asked for. I get it. So I moved things right along in an effort to let her off the hook.
But when she does say it? Holy shit. I’d be able to die a happy man right then and there.
Or I could do that right now. Because, as she struts out of Cadence’s office looking all professional businesswoman, my pants get snug and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. That fine-ass woman is mine. Maybe not officially or whatever. But just knowing that she’s heading to my Jeep to go home with me? That’s enough. That’s everything I’ve wanted out of life.
So what could she possibly say to make that any different?
It doesn’t matter. Not one bit. Just having her in my passenger’s seat, in my car, in my town, in my life—that’s enough.
As soon as she’s in the car, I kiss her. I have no idea how long she’ll keep letting me do that, so I’m going to take advantage of every single chance I have. And having her lips on mine makes every single thought of whatever might be going on with her fly right out of my head. They vanish into thin air.
“How was your day?” I ask her, my lips brushing against hers as I lean over the center console. I could totally get used to this.
She backs away and puts her seat belt on. “Surprisingly good. Informative.” She smiles at me, beaming a proud expression my way.
I start driving, heading back to my place. “Is this job better or worse than the ones you’ve had before?”
When she opens her mouth, no sound comes out. Then she looks a little like a fish as she opens and closes it some more.
“You have had a job, right?” With narrowed eyes, I glance at her.
Her hands slap her skirt-covered thighs. “Actually, no,” she answers cautiously.
At that, I give her a second glance, this one a bit longer. “Mason was the only one who worked? What happened to your dreams of opening a yoga studio?”
“Eh.” She shrugs, attempting to look casual and nonchalant. But she’s anything but—I see right through her. “I was volunteering to teach the classes your mom took when the previous instructor got sick, but other than that, I didn’t put that hospitality degree to work until Cadence needed my help last week.”
“Really?” I’m in total disbelief. If she didn’t have a job… “Then why do you already have these clothes?” I pinch a section of her skirt. “The Nic I knew wouldn’t have been caught dead in this crap for no reason.”
“It’s what my dad thought I should wear as the wife of a successful businessman,” she quietly responds. “Mason didn’t care, but he liked having my dad’s approval, so he bought me new stuff all the time. So I have a ton of it. But it comes in handy now, with this job.”
I didn’t get a moment’s worth of eye contact with that answer. And my heart breaks for the Nic I was best friends with. This isn’t the life she would have wanted for her future self. And it’s not the life I want her to have now.
I cover one of her hands with mine, gripping her fingers in a comforting squeeze. “If that’s something you still want, you should do that.”
When she peeks over at me and says, “I think it is,” a few thoughts occur to me.
One: She’s comfortable enough to tell me the truth.
Two: She’s thinking about the future, so she’s probably not sick like Jeremy thinks she is.
Three: I’ll do whatever the hell I can to help her reach her dreams.
And I mean anything. Because that smile on her face? The one she has right now as she pictures herself owning her own studio and teaching other people how to do poses I can’t ever pronounce?
I’ll go to the ends of the Earth to put that smile on her face. No matter what.
Chapter 16
Nic
Being with Aidan is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Even though I said I wanted space and time, I don’t. Because there’s nothing as amazing as going to sleep next to Aidan at night and waking up next to him in the morning. After dinner tonight, we’re going to get more of my stuff from Jeremy’s house so I can stay throughout the week. My reasoning is the fewer things I have at his place while he’s trying to clean it up to sell it, the easier it’ll be for him. And I need to do pretty much everything to keep him happy right now.
He’s uneasy around me normally, but tonight, it’s even worse. We’re all at Matt and Cadence’s house four days before the wedding for the rehearsal dinner. They would have done it on Friday like normal weddings, but Cadence wants to do as much as she can at the office through Friday. No one’s coming in from too far out of town, so doing this on a Wednesday isn’t a big deal, I guess.
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been married. But maybe in the future…
Would I marry Aidan? In a heartbeat. I should likely have already gotten married to him. But the past is what it is, and we’ve decided to move on. Start fresh. As Aidan and Nic 2.0. But, when Jeremy spies me from across the room, I can only hope that an Aidan and Nic 3.0 will happen once I destroy this version of us.
He’s just looking out for his friend. I understand. But feeling like he’s pressuring me into telling him doesn’t make it any easier.
“You okay?” Aidan asks, his fingers intertwined with mine. He grips them a little tighter and raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I tell him, nodding to reinforce the idea.
He kisses my knuckles, and then we take a seat at the patio table in Matt and Cadence’s backyard. It’s the u
sual crowd, but everyone’s dressed up a little nicer. Also, Cadence’s sister, Gina, is here with her husband, Paul. Her mom is also in attendance. And Matt’s parents—also Jeremy and Dani’s parents—have come in the few hours to stay through the weekend too. It’s a nice change of pace, and hopefully, with his parents here, Jeremy will stay off my back for the rest of the night.
Dinner is a buffet of delicious-looking food. Bread rolls, lasagna, salad, baked potatoes, and a few desserts take up the long middle of the table. Once we’ve all made our plates and dug into the food, Cadence’s mom, who’s on my right, asks if I’ll pass her the bottle of wine. When she’s done with it, she asks me if I want any.
“Oh, no, thank you,” I tell her politely. Then I sip some of my water.
“Do you not like it?” Aidan asks me.
It’s not something we’ve talked about—mostly because we haven’t done a ton of talking. Our bodies have done that for us. And, yes, we’ve used condoms since that first time. But the wine thing…
“Mason liked when I drank wine at parties to appear more upper-class,” I explain. “It’s never really been my thing.”
He smiles at me. “I didn’t think it would be. It certainly wasn’t before.” Then he winks and scoops up a forkful of lasagna.
I smile back, loving how well he knew me back then and realizing how much I want to be that girl again. Well, I miss parts of her. Not the part of her that turned him away.
However, Jeremy’s stare pins me from across the table. I feel the weight of it and glance up at him. Then I turn my attention back to my plate, hoping to avoid this topic in front of a bunch of people I don’t know.
Dinner goes smoothly after that. When we have mostly clear plates, conversation starts around the table. Desserts begin disappearing and the wine flows. Soon, we’re all full, happy, and relaxed. Which is just what I needed after feeling so on edge with Jeremy.
Suddenly, a ting, ting, ting noise comes from Matt’s direction. He’s clinking his fork on his wine glass, preparing to make a speech, and we all quiet down and give him our attention.