Christmas at Willowmere

by Abigail Gordon

  Glenn was perched on the corner of Georgina’s desk with a mug in his hand and seated behind it the other permanent doctor in the practice was smiling across at him.

  There was nothing wrong in what she was seeing, she told herself as she filled the kettle. The doctors always tried to manage a quick coffee some time during the morning, and if the two of them were enjoying getting to know each other, what was wrong with that?

  Georgina would be a lovely woman to have for a friend if she had the time, but Glenn had all the time in the world and must see her as a pleasant diversion from an ex-girlfriend who was friendly one moment and un-approachable the next.

  He’d seen her go by and on her return journey to the nurses’ room was waiting for her in the passage.

  ‘Need any help?’ he asked as she stood before him with two mugs of coffee, adding, before she could reply, ‘But I’m repeating myself. I’ve already asked that question once today and got nowhere. So I’d better let you pass before your coffee gets cold.’

  ‘Yes, you had,’ she said quietly, and went into her own domain.

  Glenn and Georgina would make a striking couple, she thought as she drank the welcome brew. Both darkly attractive and free of commitments, as far as she knew. She felt like a pale-skinned, pale-haired nonentity by comparison.

  James rang in the early evening to say he’d arrived safely and was already making the necessary arrangements. ‘I’m hoping that the funeral can be arranged for Saturday so that I won’t be missing from the surgery again,’ he said, ‘because I’ll have to come back for it. Otherwise there will be no one there and I can’t let that happen. Julie was very fond of her Aunt Alice. But it will mean leaving you with the children again, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Just do what you have to do,’ she told him, ‘and here are your son and daughter to talk to you.’

  When Glenn came in from the surgery she was standing at the cooker ready to serve the evening meal for herself and the children, and when he appeared in the kitchen doorway it was an awkward moment.

  She didn’t know whether James had done as he’d suggested and asked him to join them each day for their main meal and when he said, ‘I’ve just stopped by to say I’m off to the Hollyhocks. I’ll see you later,’ she couldn’t let him go foraging for a meal on a winter night when he’d been coping with extra pressures at the surgery all day in James’s absence.

  ‘I’ve made enough for four if you’d like to join us,’ she said evenly. ‘I know that James intended asking you to eat with us in the evenings while you’re here.’

  ‘And you don’t mind?’

  ‘No. It’s as easy to cook for four as it is for three.’

  ‘That wasn’t what I meant. When I came to Willowmere I told you that it was for a short visit, but it hasn’t turned out like that. I’ve taken employment with the practice and am living in what used to be your old home. To have you cook for me into the bargain is really too much to ask of you.’

  ‘You aren’t asking,’ she told him chidingly. ‘I’m offering. It’s the least I can do.’

  ‘You mean it is what politeness demands?’ he questioned dryly.

  A pan on the hotplate was threatening to boil over and as she adjusted the setting she said gently, ‘Don’t make something out of the offer that isn’t there, Glenn. Shall we say it would be nice if you would join us?’

  That brought a smile. ‘Then I would be pleased to accept the offer.’ As the four of them sat down together, Anna felt tears prick. It would be so easy to pretend they were a family, but the children belonged to someone else and every time she saw the man sitting opposite she had to remind herself that she’d sent him away once, and it was going to be a thousand times harder to do it a second time.

  When the meal was over Pollyanna and Jolyon went upstairs to play until bedtime. Deprived of their childish chatter, the two adults sat in silence until Glenn said, ‘So what sort of a day have you had, Anna?’

  ‘Busy, as usual,’ she said with a smile. ‘Blood tests, injections, changing dressings, diabetes clinic first thing after lunch and the rest, but it is I who should be asking you that. James wasn’t happy at leaving you on only your second day in the practice.’

  ‘Neither of you need fret about that,’ he said easily. ‘I’m enjoying every moment of it. It’s the nearest I’ve ever been to proper family life and I’m loving it.’

  Don’t, she begged silently. Glenn had no idea how much it hurt to hear him say that and how much it confirmed that she’d done the right thing all that time ago. Without making any comment, she got to her feet and began to clear away.

  He was beside her in an instant. ‘I’ll do that while you’re seeing to the children’s bedtime. I’m a lodger, not a guest, and I haven’t come to your village to muscle in on your life. I came for one last time before I sort out the rest of my life, and now I’m here I think I have my answer. I can see that if others need me, you don’t.’

  Pollyanna and Jolyon came running downstairs at that moment and Glenn sighed. Was he ever going to get an answer from Anna in words? he wondered. It was there in her actions but he wanted to know what the score was from her own lips.

  ‘If you don’t need me for anything, I’ll go to the pub when I’ve done the dishes,’ he said above the noise that the children were making. She nodded, relieved that they weren’t going to be closeted together all evening.

  It was ten o’clock and there was silence in the house. The children were asleep, but it had taken Jolyon longer than usual to settle down. He’d been fretful and kept wanting James, and it had taken Polly, who was a loving child, to console him by letting him hold her teddy as well as his own. He’d eventually gone to sleep holding a bear in each arm.

  Anna had heard Glenn go out while she’d been supervising bathtime and thought she didn’t blame him for going to the pub for some cheerful company. There weren’t many laughs to be had at Bracken House when she was around.

  She decided to have an early night and once she’d undressed she went down for a last hot drink before going to bed. As she sat by the fire sipping it slowly, Anna heard Jolyon coughing up above.

  It was a harsh, grunting sort of bark, as if his airway was blocked, and she was up the stairs in a flash.

  He was awake and the moment she reached the side of his bed she could see that he had a temperature. His brow was glistening with sweat, his cheeks bright red, and at that moment, woken up by the noise of his coughing, Polly, frightened by the sound, began to cry.

  ‘Shush, Polly,’ Anna said gently as she raised him up off the pillow. ‘Jolly’s just got a cough. He’ll be all right in a moment.’

  But she was not to be comforted and her crying grew louder as Anna loosened his pyjamas and tried to soothe him into letting her see down his throat, but he wouldn’t let her and the dreadful coughing continued until she thought he was going to choke.

  She was afraid to take her eyes off him, but if it was croup, and it sounded like it, Jolyon needed to be in a warm steamy atmosphere to ease the membranes of his throat. Propping him beside the bed in an upright position, she ran into the bathroom, grabbing a couple of towels and soaking them under the tap.

  As she was hurrying back across the landing to drape the wet towels over the radiator she heard Glenn come in and shouted down the stairs, ‘Glenn! Thank God you’re back! I need your help.’

  He came up the stairs two at a time, exclaiming, ‘What a racket! Whatever is wrong with the children?’

  ‘I think Jolly has got croup and Polly is frightened by the noise he’s making,’ she said.

  ‘It does sound like croup,’ he agreed, above the noise of Polly’s sobs and Jolyon’s coughing. ‘Do I take it that it came on suddenly?’

  ‘Yes, out of the blue, and suppose it isn’t croup. That it’s…’ She couldn’t put what she was thinking into words. It was too frightening.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Diptheria! The symptoms are similar at the onset,’ she choked as she spread the wet to
wels over the radiator. She knew she was overreacting but the cold hand of dread was upon her heart.

  Glenn was already carrying Jolyon to sit beside the radiator and reassuring him gently at the same time, and as the towels began to give off steam the coughing started to ease and Polly’s sobs weren’t quite so loud.

  ‘Surely the children have been vaccinated?’ he said.

  ‘Yes, of course they have, but suppose it didn’t take effect for some reason.’

  ‘Anna, don’t torture yourself. It’s croup. I saw a child at the surgery this afternoon of a similar age to Jolyon and she had it. It’s infectious, as we both know, so most likely they’ll have picked it up at school. Keep your fingers crossed that Polly doesn’t get it. Look, you can see the humidity is bringing relief and now that Polly is calming down, he’s breathing more easily.’

  His manner was reassuring, cool and matter-of-fact, and Anna would have been amazed if she’d known how he longed to take her in his arms and tell her not to worry, that he was there and always would be if she would let him.

  If only he hadn’t been so full of his own plans and ambitions when they’d graduated. If only the children’s mother hadn’t been taken from them, if only…He could go on for ever recounting his regrets, but what use would it be? The pattern had been set and it looked as if Anna wasn’t ever going to budge from it.

  ‘I wasn’t expecting you back yet,’ she said as she gave the children a drink before settling them down again. Jolyon’s temperature was more normal now that the coughing had stopped, and she was hoping that soon they would be fast asleep again. But there would be no sleep for her in case there was a repeat of what had just happened.

  ‘I only went because I didn’t want to be in the way, but I’d had enough after a couple of drinks,’ Glenn explained. ‘Would you have phoned to ask for help if I hadn’t arrived at that moment?’

  ‘There hadn’t been time. It all happened so quickly,’ she told him, avoiding his glance. ‘But you were a most welcome sight when you appeared.’ Her voice thickened. ‘I thought he was going to choke, Glenn. How would I have explained that to James?’

  He held out his arms and said softly, ‘Come here, my poor frantic one.’ And as if some unseen force was controlling her movements, she went into them, unable to stop herself.

  All she needed at that moment was comfort, he thought as he stroked her hair gently and pressed his lips against her brow. It was far from being an occasion for anything else and he was grateful that he was there to offer it.

  But suppose he hadn’t been present. There must have been countless occasions when she’d needed someone to be there for her besides James with his busy life. Yet it seemed that she hadn’t wanted him, Glenn, to be the one, and she didn’t seem to have found anyone else to fill the gap. He would dearly like to know what went on in Anna’s mind.

  ‘Go to bed,’ he said as she withdrew herself from his hold, but she shook her head.

  ‘I’m concerned that I mightn’t hear Jolyon if he has another attack.’

  ‘I’ll stay up just to be on the safe side. I’ll find a book and settle myself in a chair beside the bed.’

  ‘I can’t let you do that!’

  ‘Oh, yes, you can.’ He gave her a gentle push. ‘Away with you, I promise I will come for you if he needs you. OK?’

  ‘Yes, all right, and thanks for everything, Glenn.’

  With his deep blue gaze darkening, he told her, ‘I’m just happy to have been there for you and the children. No thanks are necessary.’

  She nodded and as she went slowly to her room she was fighting the urge to go back to the warmth of his arms.

  The rest of the night passed uneventfully. Anna slept fitfully and once when she went to the children’s room to check on them she found Glenn observing her from his bedside vigil.

  ‘Everything is fine,’ he said in a low voice as she looked down at them. ‘I was going to make a drink. Do you want one?’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied, and they went noiselessly downstairs together.

  While they were waiting for the kettle to boil he went across to the window and looked out into the winter night where the village lay dark and still.

  ‘It’s only a short time to Christmas,’ he remarked. ‘I suppose it’s pretty dead here and most people leave the village for their festivities.’

  Anna turned away to hide a smile. ‘We get by,’ she told him. ‘The farmers are always glad of help with plucking the turkeys, or there’s following the gritting truck to make sure they don’t miss anywhere, and if we want to do something really exciting, we tidy up the graveyard.’

  He was laughing. ‘All right, I get the message. Maybe I should wait and see.’

  ‘Yes,’ she told him. ‘Maybe you should. Have you brought anything suitable for a black-tie affair?’

  ‘No. Should I have?’

  She didn’t answer, just smiled across at him, and knew she was happy that for once at Christmastime Glenn would be where she could see him, touch him even.

  As he poured the tea she said, serious once more, ‘There will be two of us absent from the surgery tomorrow unless I bring Jolyon with me, as he won’t be going to school, but I don’t really want to do that. He needs to be kept away from any other infections.’

  ‘We’ll manage,’ he told her. ‘If James gets home tonight, he’ll be back on the job tomorrow.’

  She was feeling comfortable in his company for the first time since he’d come back into her life, Anna thought, and this was how she wanted it to stay. Maybe it would if she could only relax and stop fretting about what was and what wasn’t happening.

  ‘You’ve been a true friend tonight,’ she told him. ‘I’m sure you weren’t expecting to be asked to join the surgery and spending the night on a chair watching over a sick child when you arrived in the uneventful countryside.’

  He smiled a lopsided smile. ‘You’re not going to let me forget that, are you?’

  She managed a smile of her own. ‘With regard to Christmas, I should warn you that we have lots of holly and mistletoe around the surgery at Christmas and some of the staff can be women of strong passions.’

  ‘But not you?’ he questioned quizzically, while groaning inwardly at being described as merely a friend.

  ‘No. Not me. I find life to be much simpler without them.’

  He wasn’t going to fall into any more traps of his own making so he didn’t reply to that. But it didn’t stop him from remembering, as he’d done a thousand times, that when he’d known her before she’d been a sweet, joyous thing in his arms when they’d made love.

  It was coming up to six o’clock and he got to his feet in the cosy kitchen. He wasn’t sure if his relationship with Anna had moved on during the night or taken a step back, but whatever it was there was time, he thought, lots of it, and Christmas was coming. If he had to resort to the mistletoe, he would hold her in his arms again somehow.

  A knock on the front door announced a farmer delivering a chicken and some eggs, and when Bryan Timmins saw Anna he said, ‘Hello, there, Anna. Have you heard I’m going to be a dad again? Talk about life begins at forty! Our young Josh is tickled pink, which is surprising for a lad of his age.’

  ‘Yes, I’ve heard about the baby, Bryan,’ she told him with a smile. ‘Congratulations! And Josh is really good with children—you should see him with Polly and Jolly.’

  He nodded. ‘Aye, I know. His mother and me are sorry we haven’t given him some brothers or sisters that would have been nearer his own age. But she had a bad time when Josh was born and this is a midlife surprise that we weren’t expecting.’

  ‘Josh?’ Glenn questioned when the farmer had gone on his way.

  ‘He’s sixteen years old and a lovely lad. I’m very fond of him.’

  ‘I see,’ he said, and thought there was love in abundance in Anna’s life. She’d had love for him once, but it hadn’t lasted and there were no indications that it was going to be rekindled.

  Glenn ha
d left for the surgery, promising to ring at lunchtime to see how Jolyon was doing, and Anna phoned James to let him know what had happened.

  ‘I am so sorry not to have been around when one of the children was poorly,’ he said heavily. ‘Thank goodness Glenn was there with you. I hope he isn’t feeling that he is too near us for comfort.’

  ‘I don’t think you need fret about that,’ she told him, ‘or the fact that they’re going to be you and I short at the surgery. He said not to worry. I suppose that what to us is a cause for concern will seem just a minor hiccup, compared to what he’s been used to.

  ‘Yet he didn’t treat Jolyon as if it was something and nothing last night. He was calm and gentle, knew he was frightened and had to reassure me into the bargain as, although croup is bad enough, my imagination was running riot.’

  ‘He’s a good man,’ James said approvingly, and Anna silently agreed. After chatting a little more, he told her he would be leaving for home mid-afternoon and rang off.

  Glenn’s first patient of the day was a newcomer to the village like himself. Alex Graham had moved into a flat above the antique shop, his intention being to paint the attractions of the Cheshire countryside, which were not in short supply.

  The River Goyt and Peak Forest Canal ran side by side in rural splendour through the village. Willowmere was an artist’s dream with its limestone cottages and shops that were far removed from the mass-produced, packaged image of the supermarket. But for any aspiring artist the lake, tranquil and ageless amongst the graceful trees after which it had been named, was always top of the list.

  ‘I take it that you’re here about the test results,’ Glenn said as the lean, long-haired, thirty-plus patient seated himself opposite him.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I’ve been visiting relatives and when I got back late last night there was a message on my answering machine to say that the results of the tests I’ve been having had arrived and that the surgery wanted to discuss them with me.’

  Glenn nodded. ‘Yes, that is so. I’m sorry to inform you that the pain and inflammation of your joints is caused by the onset of rheumatoid arthritis.’