Christmas at Willowmere

by Abigail Gordon

  I could never have too much of your company, she thought, even though we seem to move from one delicate situation to the next. I’ve been starved of it for years.

  ‘I’ll risk it,’ she replied lightly.

  ‘Be it upon your own head,’ he said whimsically, and then went on to say, ‘What time do you want me round to help fix the tree?”

  ‘When I’ve cleared away here,’ she told him, and hoped that the rest of the evening would be amicable and stress-free.

  To Anna’s relief it was. There was no dressing up on her part tonight. When she opened the door to Glenn she was wearing the inevitable jeans with a cotton top, scant make-up and minus perfume, and he had to hide a smile.

  The message was loud and clear and it would have been easy to tell her that she was beautiful to him no matter what, but he’d already decided that tonight there was going to be nothing but friendliness as they decorated the tree that he’d brought her, and that was how it was as they hung less fragile baubles than those on the tree next door and put a star on top instead of a fairy.

  When it was done Anna smiled her satisfaction and told him, ‘My tree had never been in place so early or looked so good, and it is thanks to you.’

  The Christmas spirit was taking hold of them, he thought, and said laughingly, ‘So shall I take a bow or put the kettle on?’

  ‘Both,’ she replied, matching his mood, and while he was in the kitchen she switched on a CD of carols and left them playing softly in the background.

  They sat in silence by the fire, drinking the coffee she’d made and listening to the music. She wished it could go on for ever, with no questions to answer, no anxieties regarding those she loved, and as if he’d read her mind Glenn said, ‘Sometimes I think we fret too much for the things we can’t have and miss out on what is already there.’

  Anna didn’t reply because tears were threatening and she didn’t want to break the peace between them in these quiet moments, but it didn’t stop her from wondering if, unknown to him, his words had held a message for her. But it wasn’t as simple as that…was it?

  He went not long after and she didn’t try to stop him. His departing words had a comfort all of their own. ‘Goodnight, Anna. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She rejoiced at the thought.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘ENJOY your shopping trip,’ James said the next evening as Anna and Glenn prepared to go out to buy a wedding gift for Montrose and Tabitha. ‘Have you warned Glenn that their weddings are not short affairs?’

  ‘Yes, I have been warned,’ Glenn said as he came downstairs, ready to leave.

  Anna was laughing and he thought how great it was to see her happy as she said, ‘Maybe I should also explain that huge sides of beef and pork will be roasting above the fire for hours before the ceremony begins and, as I’ve already said, it could go on for ever.’

  ‘So there’ll be lots of gravy,’ he joked, and her eyes sparkled back at him.

  ‘I can see that you two are going to enjoy every minute of this wedding,’ James said, and would have liked to have followed it with, When are you going to do something about a wedding of your own? But there was no way he would want to embarrass them, although when the moment was right he intended to have a serious talk with his sister.

  As they strolled from store to store Glenn took Anna’s hand in his and she let it stay in his warm clasp. It was all around them, the excitement and expectancy of Christmas and as they stopped beside Santa seated in front of a huge tree in one of the shopping malls he said, ‘I can’t believe that we’re going to be together for one of the happiest times of the year.’

  He was smiling, but when she looked up at him he sensed that the habitual wariness in her that was like a barrier between them was back.

  ‘What?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you feel the same, Anna?’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied, and thought that Glenn wasn’t the only one who’d had some lonely Christmastimes. It was possible to be with relatives and friends, surrounded by affection and goodwill, and yet still feel alone.

  ‘Has James ever thought of remarrying?’ he asked with an easiness that concealed the importance of the question as they watched children taking their turn to sit on Santa’s knee.

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe. We haven’t discussed it, but I wouldn’t want him to rush into any decision that he might regret on my account,’ she said levelly. ‘He adored Julie and she was like a sister to me so, you see, I don’t look upon the life I lead as a penance.’

  ‘I never thought you did, but don’t you want children of your own one day? I’m sure James would wish that for you.’

  James wouldn’t want for me what I can’t have, she thought despondently. It was another opportunity to be honest with Glenn, to tell him that circumstance had denied her children, but once again the words stuck in her throat, and instead of giving him a direct answer, she sidetracked his comment by saying, ‘I have Pollyanna and Jolyon in my life. They’re all I need.’

  He wasn’t prepared to leave it at that. ‘Yes, but—’

  ‘Can’t we talk about something else?’ she interrupted flatly.

  ‘Sure,’ he agreed with the same deceptive easiness, and pointed to a shop that sold kitchenware.

  They chose a huge casserole dish from a well-known brand as a gift for Montrose and Tabitha. It would hold enough to feed both their families and more besides, and having felt the weight of it they arranged for the store to deliver it the next day.

  When that was accomplished and Anna had bought a few extras to go in the children’s stockings he said, ‘Shall we go for a coffee? Or find a bar somewhere?’

  He’d stopped holding her hand after what had ended up as a depressing insight into her mind and now just wanted them to sit quietly in some place where they could unwind and talk about ordinary everyday things rather than the rest of their lives, which always ended up in heartache.

  ‘A glass of wine would be nice if we can find somewhere that isn’t crowded,’ she replied, feeling remorseful after bringing gloom into the precious time they were spending together. ‘There’s a bar near where we parked the car, but it won’t be much fun for you if you’re driving.’

  ‘An orange juice will suit me fine,’ he said, ‘so let’s go and see if we can get a couple of seats.’

  The place was crowded and it was noisy, but the atmosphere was good as everyone seemed happy enough to be out and about on a night so near Christmas. They managed to find a small table tucked away next to a large Christmas tree, and Glenn went to the bar, returning with a glass of wine for Anna and an orange juice for himself. Settling into his chair, he said, ‘So, tell me what Pollyanna and Jolyon are getting for Christmas and bring me up to date with what is going to be happening in the village during the next two weeks.’

  Relieved to be on safe ground again, she smiled. ‘Santa is bringing Polly a new doll and a buggy to push her out in, plus a pretty party frock and some ballet shoes as she’s going to start having lessons after Christmas.

  ‘Jolyon has asked Santa for a fort and a fireman’s outfit, and they’re both getting their first little bikes, so there’ll be some excitement on Christmas morning. If you feel like getting up at the crack of dawn you’ll be on the spot to watch them as they discover what has arrived while they’ve been asleep.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ he said, and immediately wondered what he could buy for the children that they hadn’t already got.

  She was smiling across at him and it wiped away any pain that their previous conversation might have caused as she said, ‘And as to what will be happening in Willowmere, the answer is lots of things. There’s the Mistletoe Ball that I told you about on the Saturday before Christmas Day, and this year it has been decided to hold it in a huge marquee on the school playing fields.

  ‘The candlelit carol service in the church is on the Sunday after the ball, followed by coffee and mince pies at the vicarage, and then some of us go round the village to sing for the people who couldn’t get to th
e service.’

  ‘What do you do for music?’

  ‘We have our own brass band to accompany us.’

  ‘Really? I wouldn’t mind being involved in that if I had my trumpet. It got left behind in the last-minute rush to get to the airport when I was coming home and I don’t expect to see it again, but even so I will enjoy hearing them play.’

  She was pleased to see his interest and told him, ‘I thought you’d be impressed to know we have our own band.’

  ‘I most certainly am,’ he affirmed, and she recalled how he’d loved playing the trumpet at every opportunity and how talented he’d been. She’d been debating what to give him as a Christmas gift and knew now that nothing would please him more than a new instrument to replace the one he’d lost.

  Glenn’s thoughts were running along different channels. ‘So how do I get us tickets for the ball?’ he was asking.

  ‘Jack and Amy at the post office are selling them and will have kept some for James and me. It’s a very popular occasion, gives everyone a chance to dress up, which brings us back to the matter of your dinner jacket and dress shirt.’

  ‘And the bow-tie that goes with it.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘No problem. If we’d thought of it earlier I could have got kitted out tonight. What time is the wedding on Saturday?’

  ‘Four in the afternoon.’

  ‘So I’ll come into town first thing in the morning and get my outfit for the ball sorted. Do you and James attend as a regular thing?’

  ‘No. It isn’t always convenient.’

  ‘Don’t you ever leave the children with a child-minder?’

  ‘Yes, occasionally, but there’s only one person we trust to look after them and she hasn’t been available of late.’

  ‘Who is she, some teenager who needs the cash?’

  ‘Not exactly, Jess is twenty-two and the daughter of Beth, the other nurse at the surgery. She’s a lovely girl and dotes on Polly and Jolly. We haven’t seen much of her in recent weeks as she’s been on a course, but she’ll be coming to see us some time soon.’

  As they drove home Glenn said, ‘So I’ll have a word with your friends at the post office regarding tickets. Will they have put three to one side by any chance? If there are only two, I can’t take James’s.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll ask him if he intends going, but I doubt it. He’ll be pleased to hear that I’m going, but will almost certainly say no with regard to joining us. His evenings are taken up with practice work and getting ready for Santa’s visit.’

  When Glenn stopped the car in front of the surgery she already had her door key in her hand and was out in a flash. Getting the message, he said softly, ‘Goodnight, Anna,’ and stayed on his side of the car to avoid throwing all his promises to the wind and sweeping her into his arms.

  ‘No, thanks just the same,’ James said when Anna asked him if he wanted to go to the ball. ‘For one thing, Jess isn’t around to ask if she will mind the children, but I’m pleased that Glenn is taking you.’

  He’d had a few enquiries from available women of the village as to whether he would be present on the occasion and had known they’d been fishing for invitations, but he was aware that if he appeared in front of everyone with someone local it would set tongues wagging, and he had no taste for that. If he ever found someone to replace Julie he would be happy for the whole world to know, but that day had yet to come.

  In the middle of the following morning Clare Halliday, the elegant, middle-aged owner of the art gallery, came to the nurses’ room to have blood tests taken at Georgina’s request.

  ‘I’ve just seen Dr Adams, Anna,’ she said worriedly, ‘and I’ve a feeling that she thinks I might have something wrong with me. She wants to see me again as soon as the results of the tests come back.’

  ‘So what might make her think that, Clare?’ Anna asked. ‘It isn’t often we see you at the surgery.’

  ‘Yes, I know,’ she replied. ‘I’m here because I’ve had heartburn and indigestion for months and nothing I take seems to relieve it. Also my stomach is sticking out a mile. I look as if I’m six months pregnant, and to make matters worse my mother has come to live with me and she is not the easiest of people to get on with. I’ve also got the business to run, which is what I enjoy doing the most.’ She sighed. ‘Talking about the business, the new doctor was in the other day, buying a watercolour by a local artist. He’s very attractive.’

  ‘Yes, that would be Dr Hamilton,’ Anna told her, and thought that the description suited the man who was half in and half out of her life very well.

  When she’d taken the blood she told Clare, ‘Dr Adams has asked for a quick report on these tests so you should know something soon.’ And added with a comforting smile, ‘So go home and try not to worry until the results come through. It could be something quite simple that is causing the symptoms.’

  ‘I hope so,’ she said dismally as she prepared to depart. ‘One hears of such dreadful things these days.’

  The owner of the picture gallery had barely closed the outer door of the surgery behind her before Georgina appeared in the nurses’ room.

  ‘Has Clare Halliday had the bloods taken?’ she asked, and when Anna pointed to the phials ready for off she said, ‘I’m very concerned about her.’ And on that sober comment she went back down the corridor to where the rest of her patients were waiting.

  ‘What do you think she meant?’ Beth said when she’d gone.

  ‘Who knows?’ Anna said. ‘But Georgina doesn’t let the grass grow under her feet. If the results show anything that could be serious she’ll send Clare to see a specialist without delay.’

  Saturday mornings were not as hectic as weekdays. There wasn’t the same urgency to get the children ready and off to school, and as Anna stood gazing out at a frosty morning from the window of her sitting room she saw Glenn striding purposefully down the path towards his car.

  Her heartbeat quickened as it always did at the sight of him. He was tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed and lean, every woman’s dream man. Yet it was still her that he seemed to want, the nondescript practice nurse with hazel eyes set in a plain face, her only claim to beauty being her red-gold hair. What did he see in her?

  He must have decided to go into town early to get the suit before the place became packed with Christmas shoppers, and as he drove off without being aware of her at the window Anna’s mind was on the days to come.

  Days when the life she’d made with James and the children would still go on. Not because it had to, James would never tie her down with his domestic problems if she wanted to stretch her wings. It would be because she had nowhere else to go.

  Having Glenn in Willowmere was a mixture of joy and sadness to her. Every moment they spent together was engraved upon her heart, and if he should tire of her lack of response and decide to go away again, the memory of those times during one of the most special seasons of the year would have to suffice.

  Like the wedding they were going to in just a few hours, where Montrose and Tabitha would make their vows to each other in front of their families and the others who travelled with them. There would be no trappings of church or registry office, just two people in the dusk of a December afternoon promising to be faithful.

  Once that was done the festivities would start, the food and the wine, an abundance of it, with music all around them. And when their appetites were appeased there would be dancing around the campfire and lots of good-natured merriment.

  When Glenn’s car had disappeared from sight she went upstairs to get out the clothes she intended to wear. They consisted of a brightly coloured shawl of greens and gold that suited her colouring perfectly, and a warm top to go underneath to keep out the cold. Matching the shawl was a long green skirt, flared so that it would swirl around her as she danced. Calf-high boots on her feet completed the outfit.

  As she took in the effect, excitement was rising inside her. She’d felt threatened ever since Glenn had come back into her li
fe. He’d shattered the safe cocoon that had gradually formed around her as she’d accepted what the fates had meted out on an icy road five years ago.

  But today it was different. She felt alive, ready to throw off her cares for a while. Remembering how he had accepted her stipulation of no strings attached, what could possibly go wrong?

  He rang her bell in the late morning and informed her that he’d bought a suit for the ball and gifts for the children, who hadn’t yet got back from their Saturday morning visit to the park with James.

  He’d brought the presents with him and said, ‘I thought you could whisk them out of sight while Pollyanna and Jolyon aren’t around.’

  ‘Yes, and thanks for remembering them,’ she said softly, and wondered if he was thinking that it might be the nearest he was ever going to get to being with children in a family setting at Christmas. Unless he gave up on her and chose someone else to give him little ones. The thought was like a knife in her heart.

  ‘Do you want to come in?’ she asked, stepping back, but he shook his head.

  ‘Another time maybe. I’m going to clean the car and then have a shower. Are we walking or driving to the wedding? The gypsy camp isn’t that far, is it, but it is cold out here.’

  ‘Let’s walk,’ she said, eyes bright with anticipation, and he observed her with raised brows but didn’t comment.

  ‘Yes, all right,’ he agreed. ‘But are we sure it’s on for today? What about the old guy I had admitted to hospital? Didn’t you say that he’s the bridegroom’s father?’

  ‘Yes, and I’ve checked that he’s home, but Marco will have to watch the proceedings from inside the caravan and keep warm.’

  ‘And how are we going to keep warm? What are you intending wearing?’

  ‘A shawl, a long skirt and boots, with gold hoops in my ears. What about you?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Probably a shirt and black trousers, with boots and a leather jacket. What do you think?’

  ‘That sounds fine to be wearing as we mingle with them, though I’m expecting the folks there to be decked out in their finery. I saw an advert for wedding dresses for gypsy brides once and some of them were very impressive, heavily beaded in Renaissance styles, so we’ll have to wait and see. It’s not far to the site so if you call for me at a quarter past three it should be soon enough.’