Through the Window 2

by Mary Jane Ballew

  He looked at her intently and smiled just a little. “No, Miss Bingley, I do not think so,” he told her.

  “That is a shame,” she said softly. “I should have liked to see you there.”

  “Another time, perhaps,” he said before turning to go.

  Caroline heaved a frustrated sigh. She knew at once he was disappointed in her for her snide comments about Elizabeth’s mother and sister. Why had she said those things to begin with, after telling him she was working on avoiding that very kind of behavior, she wondered?

  Colonel Fitzwilliam walked over to where Georgiana, Kitty, and Maria Lucas stood together talking. He cleared his throat, “Miss Bennet, may I speak to you for a moment?” he asked her.

  Kitty smiled, “Yes, of course, Colonel Fitzwilliam,” she said as she excused herself from Georgiana and Maria.

  Georgiana narrowed her eyes just a little as she watched them go. She took in a small breath and did her best to ignore the jealousy she felt welling up inside her. Try as hard as she could, Georgiana felt it difficult to focus on the conversation with Miss Lucas.

  “Miss Darcy, did you hear what I said?” Maria asked her. “I said I wished it were me the Colonel was taking a turn around the room with.”

  “Oh well, I am sure he just wanted to speak with Kitty about some trivial thing. I do not think you should make too much out of it,” Georgiana replied politely.

  Maria lowered her voice just a little, “I suppose you must know, Miss Darcy, I think your cousin is very handsome,” she told her. “I find him very interesting, and most agreeable.”

  Georgiana could not help it; hearing her go on about her cousin made her feel rather awkward. She did not want to be rude, however, so she said. “He is very amiable.”

  Maria sighed, “I had hoped in coming to London to spend more time with the Colonel, but he always seems to be with Kitty,” she commented.

  “He is not always with Kitty,” Georgiana replied as she watched her cousin. Kitty and the Colonel stopped walking at the far side of the room near the window and continued their conversation. She had no idea what was being said, but she did notice that Kitty smiled a great deal as they talked.

  “You know your cousin very well, Miss Darcy,” Maria began to say, “Tell me, do you think he is in love with Kitty? She says that he is not, but I think she must be blind not to see that it is so.”

  Georgiana forced herself to look away from Kitty and the Colonel and turned her attention to Maria, “I cannot say,” she said, snapping at her just a little. “I believe my cousin is a very decent man, and would never lead Kitty to believe he had feelings for her if he did not. If he is spending so much time with her as you say, it is very likely he does have feelings for her.”

  Maria looked extremely disappointed by what she said, “Then he must be in love with her,” she said, sounding rather hopeless. “He has to be, for I have seen them together on every occasion that we have been in one another’s company since arriving in London. He is very attentive to her and speaks very highly of her. Just look at the way he is with her now.”

  Georgiana shrugged her shoulders, “I see no sign of affection or feeling between them,” she told her.

  Maria sighed, “How can you not see it,” she protested as they both looked in the direction of Kitty and the Colonel. “Look how he gazes into her eyes when they talk, and the way he guides her along. He takes such care with her,” she whispered in frustration. “Why, for all we know, he may just be asking her to marry him at this very moment. Oh, Miss Darcy, what shall I ever do if he is? My heart will surely break at the loss of him, and Kitty is one of my dearest friends as well! I will lose both the love of my life and my dearest friend all in one dreadful day!”

  Georgiana’s own heart sank. She had observed the same things and had been unwilling to believe that her cousin truly was in love with Kitty. However, now she felt she had no choice but to accept what was before her. “I am sorry, Miss Lucas; would you excuse me? I am feeling unwell,” she told her.

  Maria furrowed her brow, “Oh, Miss Darcy, what is it?” she asked her. “Should I go and get Lizzy?”

  “No,” Georgiana said grabbing hold of her hand. “I am not ill, just a little tired,” she explained. “So much has been happening of late. I think I will speak with my brother about returning to Windham House. If you will excuse me?”

  “Of course, Miss Darcy,” Maria responded. “I hope you will feel better.”

  Kitty looked up at the Colonel, “I believe you wanted to speak with me, Colonel Fitzwilliam?” she said after a few moments passed and he still had not said anything.

  “Yes, I did,“ he said somewhat hesitantly. “I wanted to say,” he stumbled over his words just a little, “That is, what I wanted to say was I think very highly of you, Miss Bennet. However, my financial situation being what it is, I cannot really offer you anything more than friendship.”

  “Do not feel awkward in telling me this, Colonel,” she told him. “I am well aware that as the second son of Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam, you are expected to marry very well and that my inheritance of £40 a year is hardly the kind of fortune your family was hoping for you.”

  The Colonel smiled, “You are far more perceptive than I realized, Miss Bennet,” he told her. “For my part, I feel that I have been remiss in my actions of late. If I did give you any cause to think or misunderstand my attention to you, then I humbly beg your forgiveness.”

  “Colonel Fitzwilliam, please do not concern yourself,” she assured him. “I have not been injured by your attention to me. I should tell you now I have always thought of you as a very dear friend and I have no expectation of anything more.”

  “You are most kind,” he said. “I am very fortunate to have you as my friend.”

  Kitty looked up and saw Georgiana leaving the room, “Tell me, Colonel, now that you have cleared things between us, will you finally come to terms with your true feelings?” she asked him.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam furrowed his brow, “I am afraid I am not sure I know what you are talking about, Miss Bennet?” he told her.

  Kitty laughed just a little, “Surely you must realize you have feelings for Georgiana?” she asked him, somewhat surprised by his response. “Whenever we are together you speak of her endlessly. You are always telling me about some time or other that you and Georgiana were together. I think you hold her in very high regard as well, Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

  Richard blushed just a little. He considered denying what she said, but decided not to. “I had not realized I was so obvious with my feelings,” he said, finally admitting how he truly felt about Georgiana to another person. “I promise you, Miss Bennet; I did not mean to take advantage of our friendship in any way. The truth is, I only recently realized that my feelings for my cousin have changed and that I find myself feeling very differently towards her than I once did.”

  Kitty shook her head, “Do not apologize, Colonel. As I said, I have not been injured in any way by your actions. I have enjoyed our discussion, and you have given me a great deal of confidence in my singing abilities, for which I am grateful. However, I do think you owe it to Georgiana to tell her how you are feeling,” she commented.

  “I do plan to speak with her, Miss Bennet. However, I am not prepared to do so yet,” he admitted. “You have not known Georgiana as long as I have. I want to be sure that speaking with her about the way I feel is something she would wish me to do. As her cousin and her guardian, my situation is a delicate one. She is still very young, and I would not wish to make her feel uneasy.”

  Kitty arched her brow, “Colonel, you do realize that Georgiana is not that much younger than I am?” she asked.

  He smiled, “Yes, Miss Bennet, I have been informed of that fact on several occasions now,” he told her.

  “If you know that to be true, perhaps you should stop insisting to yourself that she is so very young and take a deeper look to see how very grown up she truly is,” Kitty suggested. “I have no way of knowing he
r heart in this case. That is to say, she has not confided in me, but I do not think she is so very young or fragile that she could not hear you out on this matter. Of course, I will not say anything to anyone about what you have shared with me. I promise you, Colonel, I know all too well how much trouble gossip can cause. I will not say anything.”

  “Thank you for your discretion, Miss Bennet,” he said. “Would you like me to escort you back over to join your friend, Miss Lucas?”

  Kitty nodded her head, “Thank you, Colonel; that would be very kind of you.”

  Mary stood near the fire as Jonathan came up to her. “Are you well, Mrs. Godwin?” he asked her softly.

  Mary turned and looked up at him, “I am very well,” she assured him.

  “Why are you over here all by yourself?” he asked her.

  “I was thinking about how very wonderful the day has been,” she told him.

  “It truly has been,” he agreed with her. “The weather is lovely,” he commented. “We will have no difficulties with our travel. There is not a cloud in sight, and only a slight chill in the air.”

  Mary smiled, “I am looking forward to seeing the seaside and spending time with you there,” she said blushing just a little.

  Jonathan smiled, “I am very eager to show you Lyme and share some of my favorite places there. I may not have gone into the Navy as my father did, but I do very much enjoy being near the sea.”

  Mary smiled, “Goodness, this room is very warm,” she told him. “I think with so many people here, we hardly have need of this fire.”

  Jonathan smiled, “You are quite right, it is rather stuffy,” he told her. “Although, I believe that is the perfect excuse for us to leave now. If you are ready, I would like to be off. I have had enough visiting and would like nothing better than to begin our journey.”

  Mary nodded her head, “Very well,” she said.

  “Shall we go and say goodbye to your mother and father?” he asked her.

  Mary nodded her head, “Yes,” she said softly as he took her hand in his. Mary looked down at his hand as a strange feeling washed over her. As Jonathan began to guide them towards the door, Mary stopped suddenly.

  Jonathan turned back to look at her, “Mary, is everything all right?” he asked her.

  She took in a small breath, “I feel so very strange,” she commented.

  “How so?” he said his voice filled with concern. “Are you unwell?”

  She shook her head no, “No, I am well,” she assured him. She looked down at his hand and realized for the first time; she felt content. Her smile widened, “I feel happy,” she told him. “Not just happy, but truly joyful and content,” she said as her eyes shimmered with tears. “You have given me such joy, Jonathan, and I love you for it.”

  Jonathan laughed, “Mary, my dear, you almost make it sound as if this is the first time you have felt that way…” he told her.

  She laughed a little and admitted, “I believe it is, Jonathan,” she told him. “I believe it is the very first time I have ever felt this way, and it is because you are in my life.”

  Jonathan felt overwhelmed by her compliment, “Mary, that is the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me,” he told her, touched by her words. “I love you as well,” he told her as they gazed into one another’s eyes.

  Jonathan began to lean down to her when he stopped suddenly as Mrs. Bennet came into the room shrieking at the top of her lungs, “Mary!” she cried out, “You must not be hiding back here child, this is your wedding!” she scolded her. “You must come out and spend time with everyone!”

  Jonathan sighed just a little, “Actually, Mrs. Bennet, we are about to say our goodbyes. I prefer to be traveling in the daylight as much as possible,” he told her.

  Mrs. Bennet was about to protest when Mr. Bennet came and stepped in, “I was just about to come and suggest to you, my dear boy, that you should be on your way,” he told him.

  Mrs. Bennet began to cry, “Oh, but I have hardly spent any time with my dear girl,” she whined. “And I thought to have you play the pianoforte and for Kitty to sing,” she remarked.

  Mr. Bennet shook his head, “Kitty will sing another time, Mrs. Bennet,” he told her. “I believe they must be on their way.”

  Mrs. Bennet rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders, “All right, very well,” she said, sounding disappointed.

  Jonathan led Mary out to the waiting carriage as the guests followed along cheering and wishing them well. As they reached the carriage, Jonathan let go of Mary’s hand and helped her up into the waiting carriage, then climbed in and sat down next to her. They both waved out the window as the carriage pulled away and began its journey down the lane.

  Mrs. Bennet cried, “Oh Mr. Bennet, only one daughter left to marry,” she commented. “And how astonishing it should be that Kitty remains and not Mary!” she laughed.

  Mr. Bennet took in a small breath and guided his wife back inside. He was very happy for his daughter and rather pleased with her choice for a husband. Mr. Godwin was a very agreeable man, and he had every confidence the newly married couple would be very happy together.

  Elizabeth stood just near the gate watching as the carriage rode out of sight. She was very happy for her sister Mary and Mr. Godwin. Anyone who spent time with them could see they were a very good match. She sighed just a little. As she stood there waving goodbye, she thought about her other two sisters, Kitty and Lydia. Elizabeth considered how she might best help them both. Poor Lydia; married to such a man as Mr. Wickham was sure to have a lonely life and unhappy prospect for the future. Although, it was just as probable that Lydia would never really understand that she had been abandoned by her husband as long as he came around from time to time as he said he would. Elizabeth chewed her bottom lip as her thoughts turned to Kitty. Her mother was determined that her sister must marry well and do so very soon. She sighed heavily as the carriage passed from sight. As Elizabeth turned to go inside, she saw Kitty standing not far from her. “Kitty?” she called to her. “Are you coming in?”

  She shook her head, “Not just yet, Lizzy.” she told her. “I should like to have a moment out here, I think.”

  Elizabeth took in a small breath and sighed, “It is rather warm inside,” she said as she looked back over at the house. “If you like, perhaps we could take a turn around the garden?”

  Kitty smiled, “I think I would like that, yes,” she told her.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked her sister.

  Kitty shrugged her shoulders just a little, “I am fine,” she told her. “I suppose I feel a mixture of happiness and sadness today.”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “Why is that?” she asked her.

  Kitty shrugged her shoulders again, “I think because I am the last to marry. I am happy for Mary that she found Mr. Godwin, but I feel a little sad also.”

  Elizabeth reached over and wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulder, “Oh, do not be anxious, Kitty; we will find a husband for you,” she said, hoping to encourage her.

  Kitty sighed, “Oh Lizzy, I think my greatest fear is that I will not find one fast enough to suit Mama,” she admitted. “Do you know she was insisting that I sing for Mr. Fitzwilliam? When I told her I had no one to play the pianoforte, she actually went to speak to Mary about playing for me. I was so mortified,” she told her. “I will be forever grateful to Father for stepping in as he did.”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “Kitty, now that you are the only one who remains at Longbourn,” she hesitated for a moment, then continued. “Well, let me just say it is possible Mama will attempt to persuade you into doing things her way. You must not let her do that. You will need to stand up for yourself more with her. Do not let her have her way.”

  “Oh Lizzy, I am not at all like you,” she told her. “I am not brave when it comes to dealing with Mama.”

  Elizabeth sighed, “Kitty, I did not mean to upset you by saying this to you. I know Mama can be very difficult, but I will ta
lk with Father about Mama. For now, do not be uneasy about it. I believe Father plans to take both Mama and Lydia back to Longbourn very soon.”

  Kitty looked over at her sister, “Oh Lizzy, would it be very wrong of me to hope that he does?”

  Elizabeth shook her head, “Not at all,” she assured her as they walked along the path.

  Kitty chewed her bottom lip and considered her next words very carefully, “Lizzy, I must confess something to you,” she told her. “Something that I think will make you very cross with me.”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “What is it?” she asked her.

  “I suspected that Lydia was with Mr. Wickham long before she ever went to Brighton. I was never really sure, but I suspected,” she admitted.