Totem

  I push the flowers to the corner of my desk closest to my bed. I want the sweet aroma to drift up to me as I fall asleep tonight. I admire the flowers for a few more minutes before pulling out my notes again. I hear Michelle push open the door from the bathroom.

  “Pretty flowers.” She comments.

  “They are from Ty.” I respond.

  “So I guess it isn’t over.”

  “I guess not.”

  This time I turn and give Michelle a genuine Kimber smile. For the first time in weeks, I feel at ease. I feel my hope rise and I cannot help but look forward to what next semester holds but, to get there, I have to finish this semester. Michelle, lulled by my change in mood, shoots me back one of her famous smiles before getting dressed. I draw my attention back to my notes and begin studying with a new found spirit. Inside me grows the discipline that only comes from being in a happy place.

  Chapter 15: Back in New Orleans

  Four weeks passed by too quickly with the family. An incredible Christmas followed by an extended family get together and a New Year’s Eve party at a family friend’s house filled the beginning of my winter break. The last week of the break went by the slowest. My sister and I were able to spend lots of quality time together. It was fun but eventually she grew tired of me, electing instead to hang out with the friends she made at her new school. Middle school was in full swing after the holidays and I was left to my own devices for entertaining myself. My mom and I would go shopping and bake dinner together. It was great spending time with my family, but I was ready to come back down to New Orleans.

  I was even more excited to see my roommate, Michelle, roll up as soon as I walked out of the baggage claim area at the Louis Armstrong airport.

  “Kimber!” Michelle yells out of her rolled down window.

  “Hey!” I shout back my chest bursting with joy.

  Michelle gets out and gives me the biggest hug I have ever received from a four foot eleven little girl. She quickly lets go and pops the trunk as cops look at us wearily. One day the airport security will calm down. I load the bags into her car. Nine eleven was a tragic time, but I miss getting through metal detectors in less than fifteen minutes. We hop in the car and speed off back to the dorms our small home that I so achingly missed.

  “So when we get home, the first thing you should do is start up your car. I barely used mine when home and it took me a while to get it started yesterday to drive back here.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” replies Michelle. “So, I have one more thing to tell you. I feel though, if I tell you, that you won’t go start your car right away.”

  I can hear the mischief in her voice. I look over at Michelle who is smiling from ear to ear. I know she has something good to tell me, but is drawing it out as long as she can.

  “What is it Michelle?” I pretend to be uninterested.

  Michelle catches on immediately. Fall semester brought us close together and we know what to expect from each other.

  “Well, I think I will wait for you to start your car first.” states Michelle.

  “Ugh.”

  I roll my eyes. She smiles. I know that is the reaction she was looking for. We pull up to the stop light which turns on to campus and into the parking lot beside the dorms. I see my old cougar as we pull up and park beside it.

  “You’re lucky I brought my keys home with me.” I state to Michelle hopping out of her car. “I was afraid of losing them through all my holiday travels.”

  I pull the keys out of my purse and stick them into the driver’s side door.

  “The lock still works.” I jest.

  I hop into the driver’s seat and place the keys in the ignition. I turn and get some clicks, but the engine does not turn on. I try again. Still the engine does not start. I am not really worried. Unlike most cars, my car does not warn you that the headlights are on when you park your car and hop out. I learned to check the hard way on numerous occasions. Often I would forget to turn off the headlights and hop out of my car to go to soccer practice only to come back to find the battery dead. My dad, partially as a joke and partially for my own safety, gave me a pair of jumper cables as a Christmas gift in high school one year. It turned out to be a very good investment. I keep them in the trunk of my car. If my car doesn’t start, I know I can always pop the hood and have Michelle give me a boost.

  I sigh and resolve to try one more time. The third time, I get some powerful clicks. Then, the engine revs to life. A big smile crosses my face and I look over at Michelle in triumph. Seeing her car is no longer needed, she turns it off. I roll down my window (in case I accidentally lock the door) and hop out of my car leaving the engine running.

  “I’m going to let the battery charge some before I turn it off.” I state.

  I open up Michelle’s trunk and grab my luggage. I close the trunk. The locks click and the familiar beep of Michelle’s car alarm sounds as I extend the handles on my suit cases.

  “You can head upstairs if you want. I will only be a few more minutes.”

  “Nah,” replies Michelle. “I’ll wait. Plus I want to be there to see the surprise on your face as you open the door.”

  I am getting eager. Obviously, this is something that I am not expecting and it is something that Michelle is in on. Maybe it’s from Ty.

  “Is it from Ty?” I ask.

  Michelle’s smile grows larger as a glint appears in her eye.

  “Maybe.” She replies.

  Upon hearing this, I cannot wait any longer. The only word I got from Ty this whole break was thee flowers during finals week and a text wishing me a happy New Year. I craved any attention he could give me and knowing it is upstairs makes me want it even more. Quickly, I open my car door, roll up my window and turn off the car. The battery is charged enough. Even if it wasn’t, I am going to pretend it is and deal with consequences later.

  “I’m ready.” I state to Michelle as I lock my door and hurry to the side door of Bienville Hall. The glass doors slide open and I bolt to the elevator with bags rolling behind me. Michelle presses the up button as I impatiently wait for the elevator to come.

  “So how was your Christmas break?”

  “I can’t complain too much.” replies Michelle. “Texas is Texas.”

  “So big and full of cows?” I ask jokingly.

  “Yep and men in cowboy hats and boots.”

  It is funny this little girl came out of a state so big.

  “How is your family?”

  “They are good.” replies Michelle. “Nate is growing so quickly. He has been taller than me for the past year, but now he is a foot taller than me. I have a feeling I am going to be the shortest kid in my family.”

  “There is nothing wrong with that.” I reply. “I am sure my little sister is going to be taller than me. She’s almost my height right now.”

  The elevator dings as the doors fly open. We pile in as if there is no time to spare. I press the second floor button. I usually would have just taken the stairs, but I had my luggage with me.

  The doors open and I step out. Michelle already has her keys out and ready to open the door to our room. She races in front of me as I wheel the two big suitcases. Michelle unlocks the door pushing it open with an over flourished bow to let me in. There on my desk and book stand are flowers! Not just any flowers, but white long stem lilies. It has to be Ty. I told him my favorite flowers are lilies. The vase on my desk has another envelope attached to it like the one I received before winter break. I drag my bags into the middle of the room and walk over to the note.

  “This is amazing!”

  “I know.” replies Michelle. “You are a lucky woman.”

  I grab the envelope and open it. Inside is Ty’s distinctive writing:

  Kimber,

  60 lilies for the 60 days that passed since I last saw you. Let’s not make it 61. Meet me at my house tonight at 6 pm.

  - Ty

  This beat out the last bouquet a hundred fold. My heart is rac
ing and I feel myself smiling a big goofy smile.

  “Well,” Michelle begins. “What does the note say?”

  I hand her the note. Like always when emotion overcomes me, I am at a loss for words and anything that I would have said would sound silly. I am walking on clouds. My world is fuzzy with so much happiness. It is as if I am in a dream. My mind is trying to bring my heart back to reality, but this causes questions to arise.

  “How did he know I would be back today? How did he get all the flowers up here?” I ask these questions out loud.

  “Guilty!” Michelle exclaims as she raises a hand. “Ty and I were talking through aim.”

  “How did you get his aim screen name?” I ask. I didn’t even know that he had one. I didn’t know superhuman beings would have alter-alter egos, but as soon as I thought that, I knew how silly it sounded.

  “He gave it to me when you were in the bathroom getting ready for one of your dates. As far as the flowers getting up here, well…I also helped him with that. I knew what time you were getting in. He dropped them off a few hours ago before I left to pick you up from the airport.”

  “This is one of the sweetest things a guy has ever done for me!” I exclaim looking around the room. “Thank you Michelle for helping.”

  Michelle smiles clearly pleased. In my book, it is well earned. One thing I feel guys never understand is a girl’s need for flowers. They can mean so many different things. If you were fighting, they are a way to say you’re sorry. They can also mean ‘I love you’ or ‘Hey, I am thinking of you’. Whatever they are used for, there is one undeniable and simple fact that they will always bring a smile to a woman’s face and warmth to her heart. Men should never underestimate the power of flowers. Surprise flowers are always the best. I am very happy Michelle helped orchestrate this with Ty.

  Although I have not seen Ty in well over a month, he is always on my mind. Judging from the flowers, it is the same for him. Perhaps tonight will bring closure to the questions left unanswered that day on the beach last semester. I look down at the note again. Immediately my heart begins to sink. My eyes dart to my alarm clock by my bed. The time reads 5:25.

  “Crap!” I exclaim as I throw the card on the table. “It’s already 5:25! I am supposed to be there at 6!”

  Immediately I throw my two suitcases on my bed and open them up. My heart is racing as I begin throwing things haphazardly around. I somehow need to take a shower (planes make me feel gross), find the perfect outfit, do my hair and makeup and be at Ty’s house by 6:00. I salvage through my messy suitcase. I brought all my good clothes home and figured this suitcase would have what I needed to wear. Rummaging around, I resolve to take a shower first and do my makeup.

  My frenzy becomes amusing to Michelle who hops in her bed and decides to watch the action going on. Throwing off my clothes, I grab a towel and dart for the shower. One good thing about the dorms is that hot water comes on almost instantaneously. A couple seconds later, hair pinned up, I am in the shower scrubbing down.

  A minute later I am out and running to my suitcase to grab my makeup kit drying my body on the way. There is no time to do anything dramatic. So I keep it light. I put on the foundation and immediately add blush. Then I add the white base above my eyes before applying layered brown Mac eye shadow. Finishing the final touches on my eyes, I thicken and curl my lashes with the mascara brush.

  “What time is it?”

  “5:40 pm!” Michelle replies. “I don’t think you are going to make it!”

  There is no time for lip liner so I opt for just lip gloss. A low buff color will draw attention away from my lips and to my eyes. Out of all the features on my face, I always loved my eyes. I thank my mom’s side of the family for that. A quick toss of the hair and a few spritz of hairspray to keep my hair parted to the side and out of the bathroom I run. Now comes the hard part; deciding what to wear. I begin throwing clothes all over the bed again.

  “I’ll clean it up later.” I say to Michelle, but know it is more directed towards me than anything.

  Outfits and combinations of what to wear flutter through my head as I pass over different articles of clothing. I pick up a sweater dress and hold it up to my towel wrapped body in front of the mirror.

  “Too plain.” chimes in Michelle.

  “What if I pair it with high boots?”

  “The black ones?”

  “Yea,” I reply.

  “No. You need something that will pop.”

  I throw the dress back on the bed into the discard pile and begin rummaging through my suitcase again.

  “What about that black skirt with that long sleeve red shirt?” Michelle asks. “If you pair it with those black ankle high boots it’d be pretty cute.”

  “Yea, but is it sexy enough?”

  Michelle lets out a laugh at my comment.

  “What about that French Connection dress you got on sale? You know which one I am talking about. It’s the one that reminds me of a dress from ‘Sex and the City’. That one should be sexy enough.”

  “Yea,” I reply. That dress definitely crossed my mind. “You don’t think that it is too dressy? I was thinking of saving it for a special occasion.”

  Michelle lets out one of her familiar giggles that I have come to love.

  “This IS a special occasion. A guy buys you lilies then surprises you with a date at his house. There is no other time than now to wear it.”

  I look at Michelle. Her smile radiates. Her intentions are so pure and all she wants to do is help me. She is a true friend and that is all the convincing I need.

  “Ok.” I say resolutely.

  I open up my closet for the first time in the year 2005 and pull out the special dress I have been saving. It is still in the clear plastic bag I brought it home in. The dress was left over from French Connection’s summer collection. As I bought it in the fall, it is almost half off. The earth tone mixtures of emerald green and tan, although very summery, seem to also belong to the winter season. Gently I pull the dress off the hanger and hold it up to my body in the mirror. Michelle is right.

  “Your tan shoes will pretty much match the tan in the dress. It’s a perfect pairing!” Michelle who is happy with herself exclaims.

  “Yea but it’s cold outside.” I said thinking of the thin chiffon material.

  “So put a jacket on. That is the dress you are wearing.”

  “All I have that is semi dressy is the black blazer and it doesn’t really match.” I reply.

  “I think it’ll be fine. The blazer is high wasted which will complement the waist on you dress. It’s perfect!”

  I shrug my shoulders and begin to dress. I zip up the back, grab the tan shoes out of my closet and walk to my chair at my desk. My heart begins to race again as I look at the clock. The time is 5:50. There is no way I will make it on time.

  High heel pumps on, I walk to my closet, grab my jacket and throw it on. I give myself one more look in the mirror.

  “I kind of wish my hair was up.” I say out loud.

  “There is no time. Besides, you look gorgeous! Your legs look awesome in that dress with those shoes and the jacket actually works.”

  I look at myself one last time. Michelle is right. The dress shows off my toned runner legs and the jacket hits just below my ribs making my waist look small right before the dress flares out in a brilliant skirt. It is the best I can look in twenty minutes. I smile as I walk over and grab my purse.

  “Thank you.” I say to Michelle as I head for the door.

  “I’ll walk downstairs with you.” replies Michelle as she hops out of her bed keys in hand.

  One thing about dorm life is that the whole building becomes your home. It doesn’t just stop at your room. Michelle quickly slips on flip flops and follows me out of the room. I am getting nervous as we walk to my car. Michelle soothes me as she jabbers on the whole way.

  A quick hug and a well calculated dress placement to hop in the car without flashing and I am on my way. I opt to take Lak
eshore Drive. It is longer with more curves, but it has less stop lights. This makes it a little quicker. I look to the right into the dark of Lake Pontchartrain. My mind quickly shoots back to the last time I saw Ty on the beach. How fitting that this night back together should begin with me driving past the same lake where we last met. I touch my lips remembering the sweet kisses that lingered there that day. Butterflies begin to rise up in my stomach. How I yearn to feel his lips against mine once again. Whatever happens tonight, I will resolve to make the most of it. Tonight I will live each precious moment with Ty as if it were our last. Whatever tomorrow may bring, I will go into tonight knowing that Ty cares for me and I for him and that is all I need.

  Chapter 16: A night alone with Ty

  I pull up to the gate of Ty’s boat house. The French style fence opens as if on command. There standing in the middle of his front door is Ty. The gas lamps flicker sending shadows dancing across his face. My heart leaps with joy as I see the welcoming smile I have been dreaming of for weeks. I pull in and taking the free parking spot. Ty walks toward me. I take a deep breath.

  Calm down, Kimber, I tell myself. Just play it cool. Just play it cool.

  I take another deep breath. I am so nervous. Just the site of Ty sends butterflies through my stomach, but all of this added attention has sent me over the edge. It’s a tidal wave of emotions that never ends and I never want it to. I look into my rear view mirror and see Ty. I hear the handle of my door click and the cool air hits my face. The salty brackish mixture of Lake Pontchartrain lifts my spirits to an even new high. No matter how many places I have lived, New Orleans will always be my home and that distinguishable scent will always remind me of that. I breathe it in, holding it in my lungs as I hear the sweetest voice that I have ever known speak my name.

  “Hi Kimber.” Ty greets with a husky voice.

  I look up and smile. He offers me a hand to help me out of my car. I adjust my legs and dress before I get out. Ty’s hand is strong and steadies me as I step out of the driver’s seat. My knees are weak after seeing him. I step away from my car and Ty slowly closes the door with his other hand. Still holding my hand in his, he grabs my waste with the other. Ty brings his lips close to mine sending my heart flying. I feel my composure begin to loosen. Just when I think he is about to kiss me, he speaks.