by Chloe Walsh
"Do you wanna check out the hot tub?" I asked her, more out of desperation than anything. "There's an enclosed glass porch out back, so it's warm…heated floors?" Lee handled her grief with gracious dignity, but she was hurting deeply and I felt useless. Her mood had plummeted and nothing I seemed to say was pulling her back up. She had this horrible habit of retracting into that shell of hers and I knew she was slipping into the past. I needed to pull her out of there and fast. Our past didn't exactly paint me as a gentleman… "Or we could watch a movie?"
"I think I'm going to go lie down if that's okay," she mumbled. She just sat staring at me for ages until I realized why. She was waiting for permission. Fuck. I nodded my head and clenched my jaw as I forced a small smile. Pushing back her chair, it scraped over the kitchen tiles as she slowly stood up. "Do you mind if I clean this up in the morning?" she asked pointing to the dinner plates.
"No, I don't mind," I said in an emphatic tone. "You don't need my permission if you don't want to wash dishes, baby. This is your house." I fucking hated when she became docile and pliant. It didn’t happen often anymore, but when it did it hurt. It made me wonder if a small part of her still lived in that house in Montgomery.
Jimmy Bennett left his mark on her…
Besides, she didn't have to ask my permission to do anything in this place. This really was her house. I had the property contracted solely to Lee. She thought it was in both of our names and I let her think that. She'd freak out otherwise and I needed to know that she had some security to fall back on. This was my reasoning when I'd deposited one hundred thousand dollars into her personal account this morning–the one I'd made her open after Hope was born. I needed her taken care of.
No matter what.
Cam's death had fucked my head up, too. Lee dealt with it by hiding her pain with a smile. Derek: by shouting and getting angry. I dealt with it by making a plan. That was my thing. Cam's death had made me see how fickle life could be. I needed to know Lee would be taken care of if anything was to happen to me. Call it being morbid, but I hated the thought of her being dragged through the courts by my father if I was to die before I got her up that aisle. We weren't married yet and I knew he would. Hope had security, she was my flesh and blood, but Lee…God, she wasn't strong enough to fight him.
According to my father, David Henderson, my inheritance was undeserving. That fucker would do just about anything to get his hands on the hotel chain his father–my grandfather–had left me. I couldn't underestimate him. He was a shrewd opponent… "You make the rules around here," I told Lee as I pushed all thoughts of my father–and hers– to the back of my mind. "In this house you are the boss."
My words got a small smile out of her. "And what are you?" she mused as she leaned against her chair. "In this house, I mean."
"Well," I said with a grin as I stretched my arms over my head. "You're the queen of this house. You can order me around all you like…but in our bedroom I'm your motherfucking king."
I must have said the right thing again because she awarded me with a megawatt smile. "King," she said in a teasing tone. "Do you want me to make you a crown? I'm sure we have some paper and glue somewhere."
"I'm serious," I told her even though I was thrilled that she was smiling.
"So am I." Lee smiled. "Now, do you want me to use the blue crayon or the green one for your crown?"
"Red," I chuckled as I stood up and grabbed our plates from the table.
"Why red?" she asked quietly as she hovered behind me.
"I don't know." I shrugged as I scraped the remainder of Lee's burnt chicken casserole into the trash before loading the dishwasher. Girl couldn't cook for shit…"I like red. Red's a good color for a crown."
She was silent for so long that I'd thought she had left the room. Then I heard her whisper, "I didn't know that."
"Hey," I said softly as I closed the door on the dishwasher and turned around to face her. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she sighed as she fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt. She looked deep in thought as she frowned at the floor before looking up at me. "It's just that the night I was…" She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes flickered to the ground and then to the fridge. She shook her head and shivered.
"You were…" I coaxed as I walked over to her. Tipping her chin up with my fingers I stared down at her lonesome expression. "You were what, baby?"
"I was wearing red the night she shot me," she blurted out before shuddering. "It's probably stupid, but I really don't like red anymore. The color makes me nauseous…Reminds me of the blood."
Thank fuck I hadn't painted any of the rooms in the house red…
"Lee," I sighed, pulling her body into mine. "It's over, baby. She's never gonna hurt you again." I pulled back to clasp her face in my hands. "In a couple of months she'll be locked away forever."
"I know that," she whispered. "It's just going to take me some time, you know? Some things stick in a person's mind. I can't help it, but I am trying to move forward. I promise I am."
"I know you are," I said in a gruff tone as I stroked her back gently. "God, you're doing so well. I'm so proud of you for handling all of this with such dignity."
"That's because of you," she replied in a soft tone as she tightened her arms around my waist. "Being with you makes it easier to breathe, Kyle. When I'm with you I feel like I am wrapped up in a protective blanket and nothing can harm me…but it's also a scary feeling because I should be able to take care of myself, you know?"
"No," I replied as I looked down at her. "No. I don't know, princess. You're mine and I'm gonna take care of you. There's nothing scary about that."
Lee squeezed me tighter. "Kyle, people who try to protect me get hurt," she whispered. "Bruno…Cam…oh god, if anything ever happened to you…"
"Shh," I crooned as I held her face to my chest. "You're safe. Hope's safe. I'm safe," I said softly. "I promise you. I fucking promise you things will be better for us here. I'm not gonna let a damn thing happen to you. Never again, Lee. I swear to you."
"We'll survive together," she whispered, squeezing me once more before stepping away from me and walking towards the door. "Night, Kyle."
"Night, princess." I watched her tiny frame retreating with a heavy heart. It was only seven pm. "I'll be up soon."
"Take your time," I heard her say as my eyes followed her until she slipped out of my vision.
I was feeling jittery and had an unusual amount of excess energy thrumming in my veins that I needed to burn off before I could even think about lying down.
Sometimes I had a really hard time just trying to sit still and relax my brain. It didn’t bother me too much since I'd always been like this, but every now and then I thought back to my childhood and something I once overheard one of my foster-parent's discussing with my case-worker when I was ten. I'd heard them talking about my mother and how she'd taken drugs throughout her pregnancy with me. They had come to the conclusion that my tetchy, volatile behavior was a result of being exposed to the intravenous drugs my mother had taken. After a lengthy discussion with my case worker about my aggressive nature, the Osborne family had come to the conclusion that I was too high-risk to be around their other children. The following day my bags were packed and I was shipped on to the next family. Of course, my volatile behavior had nothing to do with their asshole fifteen year old son who'd kicked me in the balls for using the shower before him and I, in turn, had retaliated by breaking his nose. Assholes…
Pushing those memories to the back of my mind, I tidied up the kitchen, went through the quarterly financial report for the hotel in Denver, called Derek to check in, and then spent about thirty minutes admiring the alarm system before conceding to exhaustion.
"The alarm system in this place is awesome," I said in a hushed tone as I climbed into bed next to Lee. "A fly couldn’t get into this place unnoticed…" I poked her in the ribs gently. "Hey, Lee, you awake?"
"Yeah," she whispered as she rolled onto her back and looked up at me. H
er eyes were puffy and swollen. "Did you remember that it's Halloween tomorrow, Kyle?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion.
"Yeah," I mumbled. "I know." I had hoped she wouldn’t remember. The thought of taking her out in the dark, with idiots running around the place wearing masks and setting off fireworks made my blood run cold.
"I don’t…" she paused, closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. "I know it's Hope's first Halloween, but can we stay at home this year?"
I felt like sagging in relief. Stretching out on my back, I pulled her body closer to mine and wrapped my arm around her. "That sounds like a pretty good plan to me, princess."
"Are you sure?" she asked as she snuggled into my side.
"Yeah, baby," I whispered. We had enough monsters lurking in the shadows. No need to go out looking for more. "I'm sure."
****
Chapter 11
Power rangers and Barbie dolls
Kyle
Halloween had passed in a–mostly–drama-free blur. Hope had woken up with two new teeth and an upset tummy, and Lee and I had been too elbows-deep in baby poop and vomit to even think about the date. Her tummy had settled by evening, and when we got her down for the night we'd both collapsed from exhaustion and worry. I hadn’t been too stressed about Hope's diarrhea–it always happened when she cut a new tooth, but Lee had been frantic.
The following morning Lee asked me to take her to the cemetery–and every day since–and I took her there, no questions asked. I wasn't happy about her going there so much, but I was just grateful she was asking me instead of sneaking out behind my back. I was trying to pull her out of her sadness and Lee was trying, too, but she went to bed early since we moved in, and even though she tried to be quiet about it, I heard her crying into her pillow in the middle of the night when she thought I was asleep. Her nightmares were just as vicious as before and it tore my goddamn heart up that I couldn't fix it. All I wanted was for her to be happy again.
This was the seventh night in our new home and I was relieved as hell that Lee was in better spirits tonight. Cam's photo had messed with her head, and to be honest, I had a feeling it still was messing with her head. Every now and then I caught her looking up at it and discretely wiping her eyes. I debated whether I should take it away, but I didn't want to upset her further.
"How was it?" Lee asked as she snuggled into my side. We'd bathed Hope and put her down for the night and were crashed out on the couch watching some shitty chick flick in front of the fire. This was the first night in a week that I'd persuaded her to stay up later than nine o clock, and I hated to admit it, but Lee's taste of movies was growing on me. She'd chosen Dirty Dancing for us to watch and I was feeling a little put out that I couldn't dance like that. Jesus, what the hell was this woman turning me into?
"How was what?" I asked turning down the volume of the TV with the remote.
"Your childhood," she replied breaking me out of my reverie. "You never say much about it. I know you were in the system, but you don't say anything else about it."
"It was what it was, princess." I really didn't know what she wanted me to say. Yeah, I'd been dealt a crappy hand, but it paled in comparison to what she'd gone through with her father. I had been one of the luckier kids. As a child I was like an alley cat–more than capable of fighting my own corner. "I was tall for my age," I told her as I stretched my legs out next to hers. "And I had a mouth that got me out of as much trouble as it got me into."
"That sounds like you," she chuckled as she played with the hem of my t-shirt. "Did you get into many fights?"
"Define many," I teased as I looked down at her smiling face. Keep talking, Carter. Keep her smiling… "I was a horrible kid," I laughed.
"Where did you see yourself when you were older?" she asked.
"In one place," I told her. "I never had a clear idea of what I wanted to do. I just knew whatever it was, it would be in one place with my own house, not moving every six months."
"Was it hard?" she whispered.
"It was fine." I didn't want to bum her out. She needed to smile. "What about you?" I asked her. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"
"Alive," she said and her honesty took the breath out of me.
"Okay," Lee grinned as she pulled herself up to sit cross-legged. "Let's play a game."
I raised my brow in amusement. "A naked game?"
She rolled her eyes. "A getting to know each other better game."
Laughing I sat up and mirrored her body language. "Uh, engaged with a kid here, princess…"
"Don't spoil it," she growled as she leaned over and pinched my nipple.
"Shit, baby," I groaned. "That hurt." It didn't. I just wanted to be petted a little. Her raised eyebrow was a sign that there would be no petting. "Fine." I sighed. "Let's play your game, brat."
****
Lee
"Tell me a secret?" I asked Kyle as we sat facing each other on the couch. Kyle had forced me to watch a movie with him and I had to admit that I was feeling the best I had in days. It was nice to do one of the normal things that couples were supposed to do. Maybe we could make it a regular thing…Movie night. Kyle complained throughout the entire film, but it hadn't slipped my attention that he'd tapped his feet during every dance scene. At one point I'd actually thought he was going to jump off the couch and start dancing to the mambo…
Leaning forward, Kyle placed his beer bottle on the floor before sitting cross-legged facing me. "When I was nine, I went through a phase of thinking I was a power ranger."
"No way," I spluttered as a mouthful of coke spilled from my lips.
He shook his head and laughed. "Way. I was obsessed. One of my foster mom's bought me the black power ranger costume for my birthday. I thought I was the shit," he chuckled as he wiped my lip with his thumb. "I slept in that suit every night for a month."
"When I was nine I used to peek down Cam's Ken dolls pants," I admitted before covering my mouth with my hand to stifle a laugh.
Kyle grinned and tipped his head sideways. "You little pervert."
"What?" I said defensively. "I didn't have a clue back then. I thought that's what it looked like."
"Ha," he snorted. "You must have been surprised when you saw my it."
"Um…" I pretended to think about it and Kyle narrowed his eyes.
"Shut up," he growled nudging my knee with his hand.
"I'm kidding," I told him. "I really should've been looking at the black power ranger figurine. What was it again? Morphy nine?"
"Morphing Time," he stated in a serious tone. I had to hold in a laugh at his serious expression. "It's morphing time, princess."
"Rats make my skin crawl," I confessed. "Our house got infested once. It was terrifying. They were huge."
"Turtles freak me out," Kyle said deadpan.
"Oh my god. Are you serious?"
"Come on," he argued using his hands to shape a turtle. "You don't think it's creepy when they look at you with those…beady little eyes." He shuddered. "No, fuck it they freak the hell out of me."
I had to hold my side I laughed so hard. "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard."
"Not as funny as you and your Ken fetish." He waggled his eyebrows. "I better tell Hope to lock up her dolls around you."
"I think I prefer the real thing," I chuckled, loving every moment of this conversation.
He smirked. "Good to know, baby," he purred. "If you're a good girl, I'll let you look down my pants later."
"What's the weirdest thing you love but you'd never admit?" I blurted out, trying to veer the topic of conversation away from sex. If I didn't, we would be naked...
"What the fuck kind of question is that?" Kyle shook his head and chuckled. "If I'll never admit to it then why are you asking me?"
"Because I'm going to be your wife," I teased. "And it is my eternal right to know all things Kyle Carter."
He smiled fondly at me. "You're a pain in my ass."
"So, you secretly love that I'm a pai
n in your ass?"
"What can I say?" Yawning loudly he stretched his arms over his head. "I'm a glutton for punishment."
"Have you…"
"Wait," he said grinning. "Do I get to ask a question?" The way his eyes danced with mischief worried me.
"All right." I rolled my shoulders and sighed. "Give me your worst, Carter."
"If you could have something," he said grinning. "Right now. What would it be?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Is this a trick question?" I thought Kyle would use his question to ask something…worse.
"No," he grinned. "If you could have something just for you–something realistic–what would it be?"
"My driving license," I replied honestly. I didn't have to think about it I was dying to get behind the wheel of Kyle's beast of a car.
"Huh…" he mused as he scratched his chin. "You want me to teach you?"
"Oh my god! Yes," I squealed. "Will you? You're not just saying this? You really will teach me?"
"Of course I will," he said with a smirk. "But only if you call me Master…no, wait. Call me Sensei."
"I thought you were afraid of turtles," I teased. "Now you want me to call you Sensei?" My comment backfired on me because I visualized that ugly cartoon rat and shivered.
"I'm not afraid of them," he growled. "I just happen to believe they are creepy little fuckers. There's nothing normal about their eyes, Lee."
"Okay," I crooned. "I'm sorry, Sensei."
"Favorite breakfast food?" he asked grinning.
"Eggs."
His eyes twinkled. "How do you like your eggs in the morning, princess?" His grin widened as he asked, "Fertilized or not?"
"You're sick," I groaned.
Kyle laughed. "Sorry, baby. I always wanted to say that."
"What does it feel like to have a penis?"