Knotted Roots

by Kight, Ruthi

  I wasn’t looking for anything serious with him, that’s for sure. He would simply be a nice distraction for the summer. Someone to have fun with and avoid the boredom that was inevitable in this crappy excuse for a town. A knock at the bathroom door pulled me from my wandering thoughts.

  “In the bath!” I yelled, hoping she would just walk away. Instead, the door swung open and her wrinkled face popped around the door.

  “How long are ya gonna be in there? Company’s coming over soon,” she said.

  “Good for them. I’ll be in my room.”

  She let out a loud sigh. “Hiding in that room isn’t healthy. Eventually you’re gonna have to come out. Ya know that, right?” she asked.

  “This heat isn’t healthy. This humidity. The dirt that covers everything. But I’m still stuck here, so healthy went out the window a long time ago.”

  She shook her head and closed the door. I let out a sigh to match hers and drained the tub. I dressed quickly and returned to my room, and made sure to close and lock the door. I wasn’t in the mood to hang out with her company. I would rather pull every single one of my teeth out with pliers, without Novocain. Or shut my finger in the truck door repeatedly. Either would be great at this point.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next week went by in a similar fashion. I spent my days sleeping in, reading on the couch, and then retreating to my room as soon as Grandma got home. She hadn’t made any more attempts at drawing me out at night, which was a relief. I was beginning to get cabin fever though, which was really bad for someone like me. I was used to being on the go at all times, spending every day with friends.

  I spoke to my parents a couple of times throughout the week, but all of our conversations were awkward, filled with long silences. I didn’t bother to ask if I could come home. What was the point? They mentioned that a few friends had stopped by since I had left, and I assured them that I was keeping in touch (which I wasn’t). They kept saying that this was temporary. I still wasn’t sure if they meant where I was at, or what they were doing.

  I heard Grandma leave again this morning, but this time my curiosity was piqued. I wondered what she did every day, and who she did it with. I knew she was at the farm, with those beautiful brothers, but what did they do all day? Did they sit around a table at lunch and pretend that life was perfect? Did they ever wonder where I was at that exact time? Probably not. Grandma had given up wondering about me days ago.

  I decided that today was a good day to go for a walk. I had no idea where I would go, but anywhere was better than here. I put on my professionally frayed jean skirt, along with my light blue Gucci tank top, and then pulled my hair up in a messy bun. After I slipped my feet into a pair of wedges, I grabbed my cell phone and dashed out of the house.

  I walked out to the main road and started in the direction I hoped would lead me to town. The trees that I had loved so much when we first got here were even more breathtaking than before. There was something so serene about their presence. I felt calm and free as I lifted my eyes to the sky. The sun’s rays were peeking through, creating a splendid pattern of light and dark on the asphalt beneath my feet.

  An hour later I finally found what I had been looking for. My feet were tired and throbbing, but I kept going. I began to second guess my decision to wear my wedges, and the throbbing pain in my right ankle seemed to reinforce that assessment. It seemed that my life was filled with those a lot, especially lately. I found a bench on the side of the road, right in front of Mel’s Hardware, and sat down. I kicked off my shoes and wiggled my toes in the air. I had no idea how I would make it back to the house in those shoes.

  As I sat there I watched as people went about their daily lives, smiles plastered on their faces as if they didn’t have a care in the world. If only I could be that carefree. No one’s life was perfect, and I wasn’t delusional enough to think that theirs were, but it didn’t stop me from feeling a tiny bit jealous of their happiness. The sound of a door slamming behind me caused my head to jerk in the direction, finding a familiar face standing there, bags in hand.

  I hadn’t seen Brian since that night at the diner and I had forgotten how good looking he was. Dressed in his work clothes, dirt covered him from head to toe, but he still looked good. Nowhere near as enticing as Chase, but good looking in his own right. He smiled at me and approached where I was sitting. I smiled back before turning my head towards the road, slipping my feet back into my shoes. He sat down beside me and I caught the scent of sweat and patchouli.

  “Roxanne, right?” he asked as he looked at me, that smile holding firm.

  “Roxie,” I replied, not meeting his eyes.

  “Sorry. Roxie,” he said. “Whatcha doing out here?”

  “Baking cookies,” I replied with a laugh. He laughed with me, which was a good sign.

  “Sounds delicious. Let me know how that works out for ya,” he replied as he stood up. “Need a ride home?”

  “No,” I shook my head as I spoke. “I’m just taking a break before I get back to exploring this fine town you have here.”

  “How will you get back home?” he asked, concern lined his face.

  “The same way I got here. Walk.”

  “That’s quite a long walk. You sure you don’t want a ride?”

  “And miss out on all the sights in this bustling metropolis? Never,” I said with a mocking tone.

  “Well, I’ve got some time before I have to get back to work. Want a tour?” he asked as he set his bag down on the ground.

  “Wouldn’t want to keep you from anything.”

  “I don’t have to be back at Betty’s for another hour or so. Come on, let me show you around. It would kill me if you got lost your first time alone in town. Besides, it’s inbred in me to adhere to the Southern hospitality guidelines.”

  I really was tired, so I agreed to let him show me around. We walked to his truck around the corner to put his bag up and then we made our way back to Main Street. From where I stood there wasn’t much to see, meaning this would be over quickly. He pointed out every store that we passed by and gave me a heads up as to which ones to avoid. Evidently the Waffle House at the end of the street was a breeding ground for roaches. The thought alone made me gag and I swore, right then and there, to never go in.

  When we got to the end of the street I had seen pretty much everything that the town had to offer. It shocked me that there was so little to do here. I mean, even small towns had something for young people to do, right?

  “So, no movie theater. No mall. No nail salon. What the hell am I supposed to do here?” I asked him as we walked back to his truck.

  “Well, we’re about an hour away from the beach. Does that count?” he replied with a half-smile. I hadn’t meant to offend him, but I was truly in shock that there wasn’t more to do.

  “Really? That close? Hmmm....maybe I can talk Grandma into letting me borrow the truck,” I replied, hope finally blossoming within me.

  He laughed loudly and then struggled to get himself back under control. “Good luck with that. Betty doesn’t let anyone drive that truck.”

  I shrugged and kept walking. He obviously didn’t know how persuasive I could be when I really wanted something. That’s how I convinced Dad to buy me that Prada purse a couple of months earlier. All I had to do was bat my eyes and he was putty in my hands. I had been taught by my mother, a master of manipulation.

  When we reached his truck he opened my door for me with a gentlemanly bow, causing me to laugh, loudly. He smiled and chuckled then closed the door, shaking his head all the way to the other side. Once we were on the road back to the house he spoke again.

  “Did you want to head to the farm with me? Or back to Betty’s?”

  “The house, please. I’m hoping to avoid that stink pit for as long as possible,” I replied, turning to look at him. My words caused a frown to mar his face. “Nothing against anyone who works there. It’s just not for me.”

  “Ya know, just cause you say no offen
se, doesn’t mean someone won’t take offense,” he replied, his eyes never leaving the road. “You really have no interest in finding out what makes Betty tick? What she loves the most in this world?”

  I ignored him and turned my attention to the road as well. Of course I wanted to see what the farm was like, but how could I go there and watch as she carefully tended to her precious farm? It’s crazy to feel jealous of a place, but deep down I had a lot of resentment for that plot of land. It had been Grandma’s excuse as to why she could never come visit us in New York. At least, that’s what I had been told.

  The farm had meant more to her than my mother or me. And for that reason I hated the farm. I had no reason to go there. Well...other than the idea of seeing Chase again. Just the thought of him brought butterflies to my stomach and caused my cheeks to flame. I glanced over at Brian who was still oblivious. Thank goodness he hadn’t been privy to my inner-most thoughts. I could just imagine him telling Chase all about my sordid thoughts and daydreams. I hadn’t even spoken a word to him and yet his face was always there, taunting me.

  He dropped me off at home a few minutes later. I thanked him for the ride and the tour, and then quickly made my way into the house. My feet screamed at me as I slipped off my shoes, demanding a nice soak in the tub. I grabbed a book from the bookshelf and made my way upstairs. As soon as I was submerged in the tub my cell phone began to ring. I dried off my hands and grabbed it from the nearby counter, quickly answering the unknown number.

  “Hello?”

  “Roxie? It’s Brian. Betty wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home for dinner tonight. She’s taking everyone to the diner instead,” he spoke quickly, the twang in his voice making it hard to understand.

  “Umm...okay. Can you ask her to bring me something home?” I replied, the disappointment evident in my voice.

  “Sure thing,” he replied and hung up quickly.

  I stared at the phone for a moment, and then dropped it back on the counter. Let them go eat dinner together and enjoy each other’s company. It didn’t bother me. Not one single bit. Well...maybe a little bit. Why hadn’t they invited me to go with them? I mean, Grandma was supposed to be taking care of me, right? So why did she not even bother to include me in her dinner plans? Maybe it was time for me to stop wallowing in my own anger and pain.

  I’m not saying that I wanted to become a full-time laborer for her on the farm, but maybe I could at least go there and help a little bit. Nothing too strenuous though considering there wasn’t a nail salon anywhere near here. I had spent too much money on these beautiful nails to let them be ruined by hard labor. I closed my eyes and dunked my head underwater, my mind wandering as I relaxed. Later. I would deal with all of this later.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I heard when Grandma got home later, the front door rattling as she slammed it. Her heavy footsteps immediately pounded up the stairs and moments later there was a loud knock at the door. Before I had a chance to say anything she was already opening the door, a bag of food in hand. She walked over and set it on the desk and then turned to leave. She looked really angry which I didn’t think was possible.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” I called out to her as she stood in the doorway.

  “Nothing you need to worry about,” she replied and walked out. I heard her door slam moments later. I had no idea what could have made her so mad, and no idea how to approach her. Would she even want to talk to me? What if I was the reason she was so upset?

  I got up and went to her room. My hands shook as I raised my fist to knock. The door was snatched open and there stood Grandma, her eyes swollen and red. I took a step back, unsure what to say.

  “Umm...are you...I mean-” I tried to find the words, but she raised her hand for me to stop.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Nothing you need to worry about.” She started to close the door but I quickly stepped forward to stop her.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  She let out a loud sigh as her shoulders slumped. “Kate quit today. She got an early admission to USC. And that would be the University of South Carolina, just in case you were wondering.”

  “And that’s bad, why?” I asked, utterly confused.

  “She was a volunteer, Roxie. And a vital part of the team. I can’t afford to hire anyone else right now. Not to mention that there aren’t many teens out there willing to give up their summer to help out an old woman.” She leaned against her bedroom door, her head dropping back with a thud.

  “So...you need help? But instead of asking your granddaughter, you cry yourself into oblivion?” I asked, getting more and more upset. Did she really think I wasn’t capable of helping?

  “You have made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with the farm. Or me, for that matter. Why would I ask you?” she replied.

  She had a valid point, which made me feel even worse. Sure, she and I had our issues, and I still harbored quite a bit of resentment, but she hadn’t even bothered to ask me. She couldn’t possibly know that I would say no. I shook my head and backed away. I walked back to my room and shut the door. I walked over to the window and stared out, my eyes searching the clear sky above. I deserved to feel this way, I knew that, so why did it hurt so much? I had never liked letting people down before, but it seemed inevitable when it came to Grandma.

  I couldn’t compare to her, or my mother, especially when they both know where their roots could be found. Grandma had known what she wanted from the time she was a child. She hadn’t fought to figure out what she would do for the rest of her life. Mom...well, she’d known from a young age that her future wasn’t here. She left the first chance she got. But me? I didn’t feel like I was at home here, but when I thought about going back to New York, I couldn’t picture life there either.

  I envied Grandma for being so certain about what she wanted. Hell, I envied Mom too, but she was just as screwed up as I was, so that seemed ridiculous. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I needed to let everything go for a while and just enjoy what was here. I wasn’t used to hard labor, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t help Grandma, right? It was worth a shot, especially if it gave me an excuse to get out of the house. And of course a chance to ogle Chase, but that’s neither here nor there.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I ambushed Grandma in the kitchen the next morning as she prepared to leave the house to head to the farm. The shock on her face was worth waking up at four in the morning. Without coffee. I was sitting at the kitchen table munching on some toast and eggs that I had fixed as I had waited for her to make her way downstairs.

  “Roxie, what in the world are you doing up?” she asked after she swung through the western doors that separated her beautiful kitchen from the front of the house. She grabbed a piece of toast off of my plate and popped it into her mouth, smiling as she chewed.

  “I’m going with you to the farm,” I said as I casually picked at the food on my plate.

  “I didn’t tell you all of that last night just so you would help,” she said as she sat down across from me, a sigh escaping as she studied my face.

  “Good, cause that’s not why I’m helping,” I replied as I stood and placed my still full plate in the kitchen sink. I turned to look at her and there was a look of disbelief there, along with a hint of uncertainty.

  “Huh...well, okay,” she stood and stared down at me. “If you’re coming to work then you better go change your clothes. Wouldn’t want you messin’ up those nice clothes.” She nodded down at my expertly ripped jeans, lace covered pink tank top, and sparkly pink ballet flats.

  I flashed my biggest smile and raced out of the kitchen. I hit the stairs running and found myself standing in front of my closet in no time. I rummaged through my clothes, hoping to find something suitable to “work” in, but came up empty. All of my clothes carried expensive labels, proving Grandma’s point that I hadn’t done a hard day’s work my entire life. I settled on a pair of black yoga pants from Abercrombie and a white tank top fr
om Saks. Sure, they were expensive, but they were the most casual clothes I owned. Looking through my shoes I felt at a loss.

  “Are you almost ready?” I jumped when I heard Grandma’s voice at the door. I clutched my chest as I spun around to face her.

  “You scared the sh...Crap out of me!” I tried to calm my breathing. After a short moment I was finally able to speak again. “I don’t have any shoes to wear. I don’t own tennis shoes or boots.”

  “You’re about a size 8, right?” I nodded in response. “Come on, you can borrow a pair of my work boots. They’re not nearly as cute as those little flaps of material you had on earlier, but they will protect your feet.”

  She left the room in a hurry, so I followed quickly, grabbing a pair of socks from my drawer on the way out of the room. I hurried down the stairs, trailing her as she moved gracefully out of my line of vision. For an old lady she sure moved fast. I found her in the “mud room,” as she called it. Evidently it was a room built for the sole purpose of removing your muddy shoes so you didn’t track dirt through the house. Go figure. Another interesting factoid to take home with me at the end of the summer.

  “Here, try these. And hurry. We’re already running late,” she said as she handed me a pair of light brown boots, laces running up the front, and mud covering the bottom half of the shoe. I made a concerted effort not to turn my nose up at them as I took them from her. This day was just getting better and better.

  * * * *

  Turns out that the farm wasn’t far from the main house after all, but Grandma insisted on driving her truck over, confident we would need the vehicle later on to haul materials around the land. A short, five minute drive brought us to yet another open expanse of land. A large red barn stood off to the side, its doors flung wide open in greeting. I scanned the surrounding land, and noticed large areas of fenced in land with a wide variety of animals grazing lazily. Cows, pigs, and goats took up most of my line of vision, with what I assumed was a rather large hen house off to the side, also fenced in.