by Paige Notaro
“Now,” he said, his lips brushing my ear. “I’m tired of lying apart from you. When can you leave?”
“Calix,” I sighed at first, just lavishing in his touch on my arms. Then, I remembered where we were and how dangerous this was. “Calix!” I yanked to my feet.
Lilly was snickering. Even the teen couple was huddled and laughing behind their intake form. It took everything not to go over there and tell them to shove it up whoever’s butt wasn’t presently occupied. The last thing I wanted was to make this more memorable.
Instead, I patted myself down and said firmly to Calix, “You can’t do that. I’ll be off in a minute.”
He laced his arms around my legs. “Then stay with me through it.”
His grip was like a vise, a promise that I couldn’t get too far away and a promise that he didn’t want to let go.
The elevator doors chimed behind me. I sighed in relief. My replacement was here. A moment later and Calix might have had me straddling him.
But I turned around and saw the person behind me was not a tiny woman in scrubs at all. No, it was a tall man wearing a doctor’s coat and eyes as wide as if he had caught me being mounted.
No, no, no. Lem was the last person who needed to see us together.
I tried to break out of Calix’s grip, but the guy would not let go of me. I glared down at him, and stepped over his arms like they were a fence.
“Hey Dr. Sygard,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“I was coming to ask how things were going.” His eyes moved past me to Calix. “But I see that you are occupied.”
“Doctor,” Calix muttered.
“Mr. Black.” Lem came up, stopping so close to us that I could smell the cinnamon and orange tea off his breath.
“How are you doing?” Lem asked Calix. “Not here to remove another bullet, I hope.”
“I’m fine, doctor. How’s your wrist? I trust it recovered intact.”
I backed away towards Lilly. Getting in the middle of this didn’t seem like it would help anyone. But Lem’s face relaxed and he simply smiled.
“No worries, Mr. Black. I’m just glad to see you back to your old self.”
That was almost the most shocking thing he could have said. It was way too generous. But Lem had always been generous. His parents had donated money for a hospital wing - it was easy when you came from wealth like that.
Maybe I was being too harsh on him. He’d been annoying yes, but that was it. I was ready to allow him his earlier lapse in judgment.
After all, I was hardly a saint. I’d just been thinking about how nice it’d be to see Calix paw at his face.
The elevator doors dinged open again. This time, Tina came out, blowing gum into a bubble just a shade less red than her hair. It popped wetly in the quiet room.
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking at the three of us.
“Nothing,” I said. “I was just about to leave.”
I looked at Calix and ticked my head at the door. Then, I turned to Lem.
“Did you say you wanted to talk?” I asked him.
“I just wanted to tell you something strange I saw upstairs today.” A nervous smile crept up Lem’s face. “But it’s not urgent. You go have fun.”
“You can tell me tomorrow,” I said.
“Yeah.” He seemed to stand a little taller, before he turned and headed off.
Maybe he was trying to hit on me again. Well, at least seeing his competition hadn’t driven him mad. Then again, he’d never really been in the running.
I caught Tina up on the status of the teen couple, who seemed like they might just be sticking with a high fiber diet. I hugged Lilly goodbye, then washed out of my scrubs and into jeans and an ugly black T-shirt. I had meant to change into something better back home, but I guessed Calix would have to be content with just getting me out of these as soon as possible.
Calix hooked me by the waist and led me out. When the doors shut behind us, I was finally able to relax and enjoy being lost in his strength. The air was gentle and just warm as we walked up, but the streets squawked with backed up traffic.
“I hope you didn’t drive here,” I said. “I usually take the MARTA home.”
“I did,” he said, glancing around. “But this shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Why?”
He peppered me with a smile, held out his hands and twisted invisible grips.
I realized just what he meant. “Oh, god. Not again.”
His chopper was parked in the hospital lot. The thing was black and slick and shiny and crazy dangerous looking. But he pushed me onto the back and handed me the walnut shell helmet.
“Just hold tight,” he said. “I’ll keep you safe.”
He’d never broken that promise before, so I trusted him. We roared out and plunged through the roads. Calix shot between the stuck cars like they were road markings.
This sort of danger, I had no idea how to handle. I shut my eyes, but that just left me with the engine rattling my legs apart and the whiz of music from the cars we passed.
Somehow, we ended back up at my place still alive. Calix helped me off, and I nearly fell to my knees. My legs were too jittery to work. Calix laughed that deep booming laugh and held me up by an arm like a wounded soldier.
“Never again,” I said. But then I saw the stairs leading to my house, and I realized that promise was already dead in the water.
Elsa was kicked back on the porch, dressed in street clothes and smiling as she texted on her phone. Her earbuds were in, but when she saw us, she pulled them out.
“Hey, you two,” she said.
“Hey yourself.” I said. “What are you doing here?”
But she was busy patting down her straight dark hair and beaming at Calix.
“You joining us for dinner, Calix?” she asked, all but batting her eyebrows.
I felt annoyed a second, jealous for another, then, just felt amused.
“Perhaps.”
He glanced at me and shrugged. He’d eaten with my family once. Elsa and Mama loved him. He didn’t say much, but that was already an improvement from other guys I’d dared bring home.
It’d been nice to see how well he fit in, but family dinner was not part of tonight’s plan.
“I thought you guys had a church potluck?” I asked.
Elsa rolled her eyes. “That was yesterday. Do you even remember us anymore?”
“Oh right.” She had a point; I’d been with Calix then, too. “Actually, I was just going to get something before we headed out.”
“Something for what?”
“For…hanging out.” I’d meant it to sound like a change of clothes, but there were plenty dirtier ways to interpret my words. “Actually, it’s not that important.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, channeling all of Mama’s judgment for the both of us. “Well, alright, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No, I’ll be back by-.”
I cut off, realizing what sort of details I’d almost spilled. Goddamn, was that girl good at snooping out gossip.
“Come on.” I tugged Calix and we walked away. “I guess we can just go get dinner or something.”
“I want more than dinner.” His words could have been a harsh breeze. A couple leaves trickled past us, clipping to the sidewalk on top of each other.
“Should we go to your place?” I whispered.
“I can’t take you back to base.”
“Your father’s house then.”
His brow wrinkled and he took my shoulders. “It’s too far. I can’t wait that long.”
I realized I didn’t want to wait either. I waved a quick goodbye to Elsa and we got back on the bike. We drove out through Little Five, down a few blocks and turned into a cheap motel. Calix booked a room quickly, and then led me firmly to it.
My legs were already wide apart by the time the door closed between us. Maybe the whole ride had been really rough foreplay.
We stared at each other a moment, th
e dark room drenched with all sorts of possibilities. After all the restraint, it was hard to decide where to start on each other.
Calix took over completely.
He held my face up to his by my chin and kissed me hungrily. He tasted my mouth and pressed me back step by step. His hands moved down my body, one grabbing teases of my chest, even as the other swam up and under to my bare skin. In one swoop he lifted my shirt off and moved his mouth down against my exposed belly.
His stubble itched me, but I barely noticed once he yanked down my left bra and sank whole onto my tender breast.
I grasped at the short hair of his head and cried uselessly through the flimsy walls. Let people hear us. That’s what this place was for anyway.
His mouth moved wet and firm onto my other breast and I cried out again. I took another step back, hit the bed and tumbled onto it.
Calix followed me on, finding the edge of my pants and ripping them down. He moved towards me, like a predator cornering its prey. I had nowhere to run, nothing to hold him back but pillows. His eyes seemed to glimmer.
Oh god, how I loved that look. I loved being consumed by men who protected me everywhere else.
And he had shown he would stand up for me today in the hospital. It had been foolish and reckless, but god help me, it was what I wanted, and he had done it without me even pressing. It was just his nature.
And this was nature, too, right? Giving myself to my alpha man.
I lay back onto the bed and spread open for him, already hating every second he wasn’t inside me. He pulled his shirt off and made the final approach. I was ready. I wanted him as tight against me as I could hold.
He plunged into my depths and I got my wish. I sang out to the ceilings as he snuggled me into his strength and carried me, thrusting into me over and over and over again.
I shut my eyes and basked in his power. I needed him this close always.
Cause deep down, even in depths of my ecstasy, there was a feeling I couldn’t shake. That even though things were so good, there was still something hidden about this relationship that would make it blow up like all my others.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Calix
“Private, please tell me you know how to provide covering fire.”
“Sir, I do, sir.”
“Sir?” I said, smiling as the well-worn line formed in my mouth. “I work for a living, Private.”
“Yes, Corporal.”
The chubby kid trembled as he stood on the lawn before the course. I hovered over him, waiting until the lesson sunk in.
He was so fresh from Basic that the mess hall hadn’t thinned him out. If he was assigned here, he might finish his tour without ever seeing combat duty.
That was no excuse not to be able to run a simple drill. He might be called in as a last resort. If that happened, it’d be his squadmates who’d pay the price for his lack of commitment.
He would be abandoning them to their fates.
I released the private back to his squad to run drills through the course. However, my mind still tumbled through that last thought.
Until two weeks ago, I had been part of another brotherhood. There were no tours of duty for the Storm’s Soldiers MC. I had committed for life.
But now they were fading in the side mirrors. I’d had time to reflect in the weeks since I’d cut those ties. I could see how clear that fork in the road had been coming. I had left them to join the army. They needed a man with skills and privilege inside, and I was the only one capable.
Now, it seemed my leaving might have been a response to our growing differences, not just the cause of them. The divide had only grown wider in my absence. They’d become something I truly couldn’t tolerate.
They might say the same about me, given the company I now kept.
My fists clenched at the thought. None of them had the right to judge Rosa. She was far better than all of us. I loved how open she was about her thoughts, even as she cared for those around her. The fact she came in a pretty, little package was just a bonus.
I watched my soldiers shout orders and surge through the course. It was lucky that my indiscretions hadn’t cost me my position here. These men might be sweating and running headfirst into simulated fire now, but I could be proud of serving with them. They were a far better fraternity than the Storm’s Soldiers.
There was still another brotherhood I shared, one that I had dropped years ago. There was no breaking this one though. It came as natural as the blood through my veins.
I thought it through uselessly as the men finished their drill. I came to the same conclusion I always had: it was not time yet to find him.
There was no use bringing the family back together. My only objective now was to find a way to stay true to my father, and stay true to Rosa.
And somehow keep those worlds apart from each other.
The drill ended, and I dismissed the men to the showers. I dropped off a completed evaluation and set to work on my own training.
The base gym had a couple treadmills. Most soldiers would never choose it over the track. Most had also not taken a bullet through the thigh just weeks back. I was still not fully recovered.
I set the machine to a low rate and began to jog. It had only been a week since my limp faded. Even at this speed, old pains returned. It was no matter. The scar tissue had to be torn and reassembled purposefully.
An injury this size always left its mark. The best thing to do was confront it early and minimize its effect. I had demanded that Sergeant Lilton place me on full duty soon after the injury. Now I needed to make the same demand of myself to restore physical capacity.
Sweat ran freely down my neck by the time I finished. I went back to my locker and found that my phone held messages.
Even the sight of the pixelated ‘Rosa’ on screen had a smile warming my face. I might have to purchase a smartphone for her. This one couldn’t show me a picture of her face when I wanted.
We meeting tonight? the message asked.
Absolutely, I said.
I locked up and started for the showers, but the phone rattled on its metal shelf right away
You really haven’t had enough of me? it read.
I wanted to call her an idiot. I didn’t trust the phone to convey the tone right. Rosa was many things, but not a girl you wanted to misunderstand you.
Instead, I sent her another truth: I haven’t even begun to taste you.
I sat waiting a while, but she didn’t answer. I understood. She had lives to save, far more than I ever did.
But as if she’d been watching and waiting, the phone rattled right after I finished locking it up again.
Seems like you ended up addicted to something after all.
I smiled and locked it up for good. There was no better end to the conversation than that truth.
When I came back from the shower, another surprise awaited me. This one was far less pleasant.
Montego was leaning on the door sill by my locker comfortably, fully-uniformed. His black hair seemed slick with grease. His pale, round face held a wispy smile.
“Looking good, Corporal.” He whistled as if I was a supermodel. A guilty soldier might look that way in the eyes of the military police.
“What do you want now?” I dressed slowly and turned away, so I didn’t have to meet his eyes. The last thing I wanted was a literal dick-waving contest.
“Just seeing how my good friend is doing.”
“I was better moments ago.”
“Oh come on, we’re not enemies, Corporal. You know it’s my duty to investigate any injury like yours.”
“So you’re still investigating?”
“Not much.” He pinched his fingers to show me how little. I didn’t trust a word.
“Enough to keep the case open even after I gave my formal testimony.”
“What can I say, you’ve led a long and interesting life. In fact, I only recently found out that you’ve been a soldier for quite some time.”
&nb
sp; The breath caught in my lungs. My affiliation with the Storm’s Soldiers was visible enough if you went digging. I had known he would find it, but his voicing it meant something more.
“That was my old life,” I said, with the strength of the truth.
His copper eyes had a dangerous luster though. “Doesn’t seem all that old. What do you see before you, Corporal? An asshole MP, or an asshole spic?”
“I would not say that word,” I growled.
“Sorry, I’m not up on my racist lingo. What would your people say?”
“I am telling you those people are my past. It has no bearing on your investigation.”
The last part of a lie, but I did wish it to be true. I wanted this secret dead and buried.
“Well, see now,” Montego said. “It does affect my investigation.”
He tossed me a rolled up newspaper. “It seems that your skinhead friends have been getting shot much like yourself. They’ve got their own little war going on.”
The newspaper had already been folded back to a page. It showed a black and white picture of police tape around a toppled black and chrome chopper on some country road. A blue tarp lay lumpy on the road, with two pairs of boots sticking out from it.
“Larson Flynt and Jerald Harper, both gunned down in a fire fight. They managed to take out three Mexicans though, so you know, that’s always good.”
Wasted lives, that’s all I saw. I suppressed the rage and tossed the newspaper back. “I don’t know anything about this. I don’t know the men. They must be new.”
He pulled out a folder that must have been tucked into his waist This one held face shots of the dead men.
“You sure? You guys all look alike with those buzz cuts. Ironic, really.”
The two looked young and exhausted in death. They were no older than the men I’d been training outside. It was getting hard to contain my fury at the callous end they’d been sent to.
I might have been training them instead, if things had been different. If the army had not given me the distance to see the Storm’s Soldiers anew. I pocketed my wallet and phone and shut my locker.
“I don’t know anything about those guys,” I said, stressing every word.
I moved for the gap in the door, but Montego’s hand blocked it. He had the sense to keep it off my body.