Barbour, Carolina - Watch Me, Desire Me (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Watch Me, Desire Me

  As habit, when their conversation lapsed into an area of discomfiture, Juden grew silent. Something inside her heart pinged, and she forced herself not to let the daunting reality—forever wasn’t possible with Juden—destroy the moment.

  Then Juden smiled at her, and the simple action made everything right. He had an effect on her. His uncanny ability to make her believe with a simple gesture matters between them weren’t precarious. Her soul swelled at his unselfish approach to protecting her feelings, at the risk of her anger, he continued to portray a civilized demeanor, a maturity she lacked, even when he knew eventually he would leave Dandelion for good. In love, infatuated, whatever her emotions toward Juden, she was inept at controlling the whimsical fantasies. Hopelessly, nothing she did or said would end her suffering He touched her cheek tenderly, a light sweep of his fingertips down the bridge of her nose, his way of showing affection or love, if she dared risk that analogy. Once again, she fell into the illusion Juden created, without acrimony, more so, longing for the pretense world of happily ever after.

  Unable to speak, her throat locked and tears clouded her vision, she went eagerly into his arms. His embrace strong and protective, she fought against the need to sob. After gaining some composure, she finally whispered, “Take me away from here.”

  He lifted her chin, planted a kiss, a placating motion, as if in apology. He said, “If I could, I would.” He sounded honest, his words spoken with conviction.

  “You can do anything you want.”

  “Not at the expense of ruining your life, Saxby. We both know if you abduct me from Milo, the King will seek revenge, taking your actions, mine, as a blatant affront to his authority. It could bring about a war between my people and humans.”

  “What if I address the King and beg him to release me from my obligation.”

  “No,” he gently replied. “You would be putting yourself in jeopardy. The King could declare your request of a traitor and kill you. I won’t allow that to happen.”

  “I will risk such. If I can’t have you—”

  “No,” he said empathetically. “Now let’s end this discussion. In fact, my preference is not to talk at all. How does that sound?” He moved over her, slid his erection forward to remind her of their tasks.

  “What about our child?”

  Juden blew out his breath. “Don’t,” he said with a sharp edge. Then his voice changed as turbulent feelings surfaced hearing her distress, causing a strong impulse to toss caution to the wind and give into her whims. He struggled to tamper the ridiculous thought. “This is not about our child. It will not be the first bastard born.” She wondered if Juden realized how callous he sounded. Did he care?

  One hand slipped down between the fragrant valley of her breasts. He pulled her close and planted a tender kiss on her forehead. “I didn’t mean to be crass. I apologize,” he said caressing her cheek gingerly. “It was a stupid comment made without thinking.”

  “You don’t have to try and placate my feelings, Juden. You spoke the truth,” she said quietly.”

  He cupped her cheeks, covering her mouth with his, and eased inside her slowly as he kissed her. His touches delicate, a whisper of lips, easy thrust, everything slow and easy, and in her mind his tenderness was a way of apologizing for the cruel words he said earlier. Warm fingers framed her face possessively, almost desperately so telling was his hold, as he murmured, “If you don’t want this, say so.”

  “I shouldn’t need or want you so much.”

  “Is what I offer so horrible, darling?”

  Saxby didn’t answer. Unable to, she was lost in the totality of his ardor expertise, precise committed strokes, his actions a fluid combination of passion and fever and tenderness made his movements unquestionably ardent in nature. He made love to her with an adept tact, as with everything he did. Effectively, he charmed her like no one else could, she thought somewhat resentful, mostly too much in love for her sanity when she knew better than to make that fatal mistake with a man like Juden VanZandt. She was married, while he was free to be self-indulgent and do as he pleased. The shame of it, she knew this from the beginning and still allowed him to take hold and snare her heart.

  Suddenly he stopped moving and panic surfaced. She pawed at him desperately pleading for their time, this moment, never to end. “Don’t leave me.”

  He pressed his fingers to her lips for silence. She stared at him not understanding. His attention was focused above her head. He looked past them into the cluster of trees. She watched his eyes turn limpid, the silvery-light dimmed and an icy hardness displayed.

  Juden was up and on his feet in a millisecond. He slipped on his pants, boots, secured the leather belt with his sword around his waist, and the smaller weapon tucked in his boots. Without facing her, his attention distracted by something, he said, “Get dressed. Don’t leave this spot and stay hidden.” He disappeared into the forest leaving her heart thumping wildly and locked in dread.

  So much time passed Saxby almost fainted with relief seeing Juden break through the high brush and come toward her with Sasha and Rogue at his side. She moved to go to him, stopped abruptly, when he signaled her not to move. Worriedly, she waited for him to come to her, which he did, but the sight of slashes and blood on his chest didn’t decrease her fear.

  Her fingers trembled when she reached to touch the wounds, unsure it was real, not wanting to believe he had been in harm way, possibly killed. “Juden, what happened?” she whispered.

  “We need to leave. The situation isn’t good.”

  He never sugarcoated anything for her and she appreciated his straightforwardness. That didn’t mean he hadn’t just scared her. If Juden said their circumstances were bad, which meant things were worst then she believed.

  Before Saxby could ask him to elaborate, Juden took her hand and led her through the thick labyrinth that took them deeper into the wooded area into the belly of the trees away from what lurked and followed their escape.

  Chapter 41

  Aware their nemeses could be experts, Juden avoided the main path of the forest most traveled, sticking to the shaded areas amidst the towering pines with broad treetops added a layer of darkness, and provided a decent cover to gain a lead on their trackers. Fortunately, familiar with the area, he knew unused paths and passages to take would lead them out of the woods to the River Gorge in less time than if he utilized the well-known trails.

  It would take them over rough terrain, and he considered with Saxby in tow, knowing it would be difficult enough for her to keep up his pace on flat land, managing rugged cliffs and narrow byways would add to her duress. He explained why he had left his horse behind. Riding the huge mount made them more visible over the tall grass, and no matter how stealth his horse was trained to move, the sound of horse hooves were distinct and audible to receptive ears and would draw attention.

  That is what alerted him earlier when he had to hastily withdrew from the delectable lady, he heard riders coming, though far enough he could have finished. He was damned close. But, putting Saxby in unnecessary danger due to selfishness would have been asinine. Even in his current state of horniness, perhaps enthrallment, or both, he had the sense enough to recognize the truth.

  Juden looked up and a raindrop splashed his forehead. Unsure if it was a good or bad sign, he cursed beneath his breath knowing a light sheen might not cause harm. Anything short of a downpour, and their footsteps would be molded in the mud. A heavy rain meant their trail would be washed away, if not, difficult to follow. Although, that was the least of his worries, Saxby appeared winded, and he knew she couldn’t keep up with him for much longer even though he slowed his pace. He remembered accidently coming upon an abandoned hunter’s hut on his way to Dandelion. The small cottage was nestled behind a cluster of trees, practically overgrown with foliage and vines, told him it hadn’t been occupied for a long time, if years. Even still, if he calculated correctly, it had to be a good hour of more away, and possibly his only option. He could continue wi
thout a break, Saxby was his concern, getting her out of the weather in case it turned harsh, and he wanted her out of harm’s way.

  He welcomed the descent of the sun fading behind the mountaintops, adding shade to the area and another layer of protection from their pursuers. His exceptional night vision made things more manageable. Now with the blaring sunrays gone it didn’t distort his sight, objects were clearer. Though, he believed Saxby didn’t have the same belief, he heard her mumble some unlady-like expletives each time she almost smacked into a tree or a distended tree branch thwacked her in the forehead. He wouldn’t allow any type of damage, man or element, to come to her. This he assured her of countless times. Still, she responded and astounded him with the expanse of swearwords she knew. Juden grinned, thinking to bring up the subject later. Much later, when they were alone and he was sure she was safe.

  Several hours later, he carried Saxby up the steep slope leading to the hut. She protested greatly, which he ignored, knowing she was almost dead on her feet, he was sure in hindsight she would appreciate his chivalry. Standing on the stone steps Juden examined the hut with a practiced eye. It slanted precariously to the left. A good gust of wind might send it careening over the edge he fretted. He would take the chance, though. The wind was brisk, rain slashed across his face, and Saxby shivered in his arms. Something was better than nothing. He tested the frame throwing his weight against it. When the wood creaked, then held, he deemed it safe enough to venture inside.

  He leaned her against the wall, lowered his chin so she could hear. “I will make sure no vermin is inside, and then we can enter.” Saxby nodded. He noticed the small effort taxed what little energy remained.

  Juden returned minutes later, cleared away the last few stems that blocked entry, and lifted her over the threshold. Setting her down on a cot, he slipped back outside to ensure they weren’t followed. He checked the perimeter, circled back around…retraced their steps flying over the area before he felt secure they were alone. When Sasha and Rogue sauntered up to the hut and placed themselves in front of the entrance, it furthered his belief no one was about. Obsessively protective, the animals would have alerted him.

  Saxby was protected, for now. Sighing, he entered the hut and walked over to where she lay. He stooped to lift her in his arms, cradled her, he realized she was already asleep. He didn’t want to wake her, only make sure the cot was free of debris and as clean as expected given the circumstances. Saxby nestled against his chest and murmured something inaudible while he patted down the covering checking for anything that might cause her harm.

  When he laid her down she curled her arms around his neck, whispered with appreciation, and fell into a deep slumber. He stood there a minute watching the heavy rise and fall of her chest shocked to find his reaction to the sight of the loveliness, mussed hair, disheveled state, and all curled up and snoring slightly. With all the nuisance occurrences, exhausted, and knowing danger prowled nearby, he would have thought the last thing on his mind would be sex. He throttled his urges and told himself to stop acting uncivilized. He left Saxby alone to rest while he went outside and scoured the area for food.

  Chapter 42

  The small room was nothing short of a single square with the necessary comforts he imagined a man would need for a couple of nights. Glancing around, Juden took in the sparse surroundings, quickly assessing what was at his disposal, if needed. At the most, from what he saw he appreciated the slender bed, barely enough for two, where Saxby slept. It offered her some measure of relief, and that was important.

  The owner of the cottage didn’t require any type of grandeur, not even the smallest of luxuries, he noticed. Everything that he saw was a necessity more so than a want. A cracked basin, pitcher atop an iron stand, slated wood oversize bucket, a table one chair, metal, oblong cylinder, and a hearth in the corner was no more than a bricked hole in the far wall. A bow and arrows peaked his interest, anything that added to his weapon arsenal would, and he counted the arrow tips extended pass the top of the quiver. Eight in total, all seemed in relatively decent condition as far as he could see from his location where he sat on the edge of the bed.

  There were shelves with cooking utensils, all rusted or decaying in some manner, especially the pottery, knives, and an axe. Again, Juden was elated to see more means for defense if it came down to it. Comforts aside, now that was what was most important to him. He could provide food, warmth, shelter, and anything else Saxby needed. Being well equipped with weaponry was priceless when faced with an unknown threat, unsure of their numbers, but knowing they outnumbered him.

  After everything he’d been though he should have felt fatigued. He might have been if he hadn’t stolen a quick swim in the chilly water to cleanse himself of the filth and blood and his own stench before returning to the hut. He froze his butt off, a required evil. The thought of coming to Saxby with fresh kill still on him was repulsive.

  A scratchy blanket, worn fur pelt, shouldn’t have seemed like bliss when Juden laid his head down it felt like a cloud of soft and silkiness cocooned his body. Maybe he was tired, or perhaps delirious, whatever he welcomed a place to ease the weariness he felt suddenly overcome him like a potent narcotic.

  An added perk was Saxby cuddled beside him, gloriously naked because he felt obligated to undress her for ease, whether his or hers was irrelevant, he thought accepting her in his arms when she rolled in a languorous movement and curled around him. Her breast brushed against his back, burning him, and the supple contours of curvy flesh molded around his spine and along his buttocks, a satiny smooth leg slid between his, and a thigh brushed his sacs. The action innocent, he heard her breathing, he took advantage and sought to heighten the pleasure of feeling the nearness by pressing back into the luscious breasts.

  The instantaneous erection jolted Juden alert, he throbbed hard, harder than he ever recalled in his life. He stirred wondering if he drifted off into a dream-state and imagined the lustful rage of boiled want within him. All rushed toward his cock, bloated the head and left his skin stretched uncomfortably over the swollen crest.

  Saxby murmured, flung a leg over his thigh, and rubbed her silky mound against his butt. He was wide-awake, no dream could be as vivid. He smelled the scent of his woman and the heady fragrance of arousal prevalent, unmistakably present teased his nostrils.

  The right thing to do was to leave her be until morning. It was a gallant thought, short-lived, when he glided his erection over the damp portal—wondering if her dreams were the cause her sex was ready—it was a consideration, and forgotten as easily as it surfaced, feeling the friction of wiggling bottom prod his cock to enter.

  He should have taken Saxby’s generous offer. Why he didn’t was beyond even him. Maybe some civility remained even in his delirious state made him further contemplate his actions. She was barely awake, not conscious, and probably unaware of her actions. It would be beastly of him to take advantage.

  Laying his head against the slender slope of her spine, eyes closed, he inhaled sharply, and slowly released to throttle the lustful surges.

  The sudden sound of her voice broke through the quiet. “I want sweet dreams tonight, Juden. In case there is no tomorrow.”

  He moved and kissed her, a buoyant kiss, innocently gentle. He murmured, saying, “I promise you an infinite amount of tomorrows. Trust me.”

  Her arms slide around his in velvety acquiesce. She moved so he could enter her from behind. “I do. Make love to me please.”

  “Since you asked so nicely, how can I say no?”

  “You can’t and maintain your gentlemen standing,” she whispered.

  “We wouldn’t want that now would we,” he breathed, entering her a pulse later, giving into what she wanted, what they both wanted, to forget and lose themselves in oblivion.

  Well into the night, their lovemaking endured, rash, unbridled, full of desire to mutually appease carnal pleasure took both of them to the brink of madness, and reckless submission left both pleasantly exhauste
d, splendidly so.

  Saxby lay atop Juden with her head rested against his shoulder and fell into a baby slumber.

  Juden finally succumbed to exhaustion and slept like the dead.

  * * * *

  Maynard and reinforcements came in the wee hours of the night and stopped at the bottom of the slope leading to the hut. He surveyed the area with a practiced eye for any signs someone traveled this way. They searched the dense foliage, the outskirts of the entire landscape, no rock was left unturned, and no signs Juden travelled this way were present. The notion wasn’t good enough for Maynard. His senses told him something was amiss. He signaled for two of his men to scout the hillside again, spanned another pair in a different direction with crisp orders to check every nook and cranny before they returned.

  He waited impatiently for some useful clue that Juden passed by, or more importantly, he still remained. But after a significant amount of time lapsed and his men returned empty-handed, his frustration mounted to the point of being combustive. It was obvious Juden outsmarted him, escaped once again, and the thought made him taste bile.

  One of his men, not sensible enough to realize he should have kept his distance approached Maynard. “‘Tis seem the Black Bastard is not here, perhaps he did not come this way.”

  Maynard gave him an acidity look. “Tell me something I fucking don’t know,” he cursed, shouting.

  The man retreated and joined the men who kept their distance who were intelligent enough not to approach Maynard in the first place.

  Maynard refused to believe Juden slipped through his fingers again. Coolly, unwavering eyes assessed the grounds with a hawkish appraisal, examining everything for anything indicating he missed a hint, a trace, of Juden’s presence. Nothing.

  “The bastard eluded me again,” Maynard uttered more to himself then his men. Fury raged, knowing what was at stake if he failed. The thought unacceptable, he had to find the pair in order to reap the rewards promised him of riches beyond his wildest imagination. “We keep riding, searching and I don’t give a damn if no one sleeps for a week. I want Juden found! We don’t stop until the bastard is dead!” he snarled, signaling for them to ride out.