No End to Love
Page 18
He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the image away. Maybe he was delirious. That had to be the reason for his subconscious talking to him like Jiminy Cricket. He’d better wake her up and let her go back to her place, before he did or said something he was sure he’d regret.
When he touched her shoulder her eyes fluttered open. The sweet, slightly bewildered look on her face made him smile.
“You’re home,” she said, her voice still thick with sleep. Her arms were still wrapped around Sophie, and the way she said those simple words gave him a sense of peace and familiarity he never thought he’d feel again. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep sometime between Frozen and The Little Mermaid.”
He chuckled. “Disney marathon?”
She nodded and sat up straighter. He reached for his daughter and pulled her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. He needed a shower, and he was starving, but he’d missed his little girl, and after the day he’d had, he needed a reason to remind himself that the world wasn’t full of evil, that there were still good things worth living for. His daughter was one of them. She was the most precious of them all. He inhaled her sweet, baby scent, listened to her soft breathing, and everything felt right again. He felt right.
“You must be wondering why I’m here.” Ellie brushed her hands down the front of her pink pullover and straightened the scatter cushions on the couch. “Lauren had a yoga class and asked me if I could look after Sophie until you came home. She said she tried to call you but couldn’t get through.”
“Yeah, my phone died sometime between the fire and the explosion.”
Ellie frowned. “Explosion?”
“We went out to help the fire squad evacuate people from a building that was on fire. As it turned out, someone had deliberately started the fire in the restaurant on the ground floor, so most of the people living in the apartments upstairs were trapped inside. Some of the guys were still inside rescuing residents when the stoves in the restaurant exploded.”
Ellie let out a gasp. “Was Cayden there, too? Nate?” When Adam nodded, Ellie’s hand flew to her heart.
“They’re okay. The two of them were outside, but the following twenty minutes were a living hell. Until everyone came out on their own two feet or was pulled out, we couldn’t fully breathe, and even when they did, there was so much blood…” He placed a soft kiss on Sophie’s head, squeezed her a little closer to his chest, drawing strength from his sweet, innocent angel. “Thank God nobody died, and those who’ve been rushed to the hospital should be okay. At least according to the paramedics.”
“You must be wrecked. Are you hungry? I could cook something for you.”
He shook his head. “I’ll take a shower and pull something out of the freezer. How’s Sophie been doing?”
Adam looked at Ellie, standing in front of him with her green eyes round with worry and compassion. She was adorable, with a smile that softened the knot that had formed in his gut after being surrounded by chaos, blood, and desperation.
“She threw up a couple of times when she was with Lauren, and once after I came here. I made her some chicken broth for dinner, and I managed to get her to eat a little, with a few crackers.” The loving stare she gave his daughter went all the way to his heart. “I think her stomach has settled now. She didn’t throw up after dinner, and she was quiet while we watched the movies. I’m sorry, maybe she’s not supposed to be watching so much TV, but she could barely stand on her feet and—”
“As long as she watches Disney, it’s okay. I know she can be a handful when she’s sick, and movies are the best way to make her settle down.” He smiled, hoping it would be enough to reassure her. “I’d better put her to bed now and let you go back to your life. Sorry for monopolizing your night. I hope we didn’t spoil any plans.”
For some stupid reason he didn’t want to make too much of, he hoped she hadn’t had any plans that included a man. Not that it mattered, anyway.
“Other than writing the next article for Jared’s column, I had no other plans.”
Her stare was soft and her smile so sweet he wanted to kiss her right then and there. He blinked, gave himself a mental head slap for even thinking that and focused on what she was saying about some food Lauren had brought over from his mother-in-law and left in the fridge. He wasn’t even sure that was what she’d said. As grateful as he was, she needed to go, before he did something really stupid.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done tonight. You’ve been a real godsend.”
She nodded and reached for the door handle. “That’s what neighbors are for, right?”
“I thought they were for borrowing sugar and flour, stuff like that?”
Ellie chuckled, and he wanted to keep saying stupid things just to hear her laugh again and again, until the screams, the explosion, and the sirens that still echoed in his ears were drowned out by her lilting laughter. A sound that made him feel all warm and fuzzy and… just plain weird.
“Good night, Adam. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nodded like a bobblehead, unable to utter a sensible word after the adorable smile she gave him before walking away. He closed the door after her and squeezed his little girl to his chest, trying to remind himself why he couldn’t fall for another woman, why he couldn’t fall for Ellie—and was suddenly unable to come up with a reason.
Chapter Nineteen
Ellie had just finished planting some miniature pine trees recommended by Jocelyn at the flowers shop, when Adam’s car stopped outside his house late on Saturday afternoon. She looked up, ready to be assaulted by Sophie’s chatter and was surprised when he got out of the car and locked it.
“Didn’t you forget someone?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow. Adam let out a laugh, shaking his head.
“She’s having a girls’ night with her aunt and grandmother, complete with a Disney marathon.”
“Wow, that sounds cool. So you’re the master of your castle tonight, huh?” She smiled as she removed her gardening gloves. “You can eat leftover pizza, drink beer and watch football without anyone saying you can’t?”
Adam laughed. “Is that what you think men do when they’re alone?” Ellie shrugged, and he shook his head. “First of all, I don’t keep leftover pizza in my fridge. I might actually pull one out of the freezer, seeing as I don’t feel like cooking for myself only. You got the beer part right, but it would be baseball not football, if the season was still on. Well, I never thought I’d say it, but I don’t know what to do with my life without my little girl.”
Ellie’s heart warmed at the way Adam’s shoulders drooped, making him look like a lost puppy. He could be out on the town, having drinks with his friends and maybe checking out women on his free Saturday night. Instead, it looked like he was going to spend the rest of the night feeling miserable and lonely.
“I made lasagna. Would you like to join me for dinner, maybe?” The words left her mouth of their own volition, before her brain could suggest it was a bad idea. Heat flushed her cheeks when she realized that this wasn’t only a bad idea, it was a terrible idea. What was she doing?
Adam’s eyebrows shot up, but his dark eyes softened immediately afterward, and he gave her a beautiful smile. “You feeling sorry for me? Think I’d drink myself into a coma, feeling lonely and miserable?”
Ellie opened her mouth to say she wasn’t, but he let out an amused laugh and interrupted her before she could take back her offer.
“Because I think that’s probably what’s going to happen if I spend the night alone without my little one around. And right now, I could kill for a plate of lasagna. I bet it’s not from the freezer, is it?”
She shook her head, smiling as her belly became a flurry of crazed butterflies. “I made it earlier, but I guess I went a little overboard. I thought I’d bring some over to you and Sophie when you got home, but since you’re alone…” The nagging bug inside her mind hammered like a woodpecker, begging her to spin on the heels of her tennis shoes and run back inside.
She laughed and went back inside as soon as he disappeared. She’d only invited him over because he looked miserable. They’d agreed to be friendly neighbors, and this was what friendly neighbors did: they helped each other out, offered extra food so that it wouldn’t go to waste, things like that. This would only be a dinner between friends, with no romantic involvement whatsoever. They were both on the same page: neither wanted a relationship, and definitely not with the other.
She repeated her pep talk in her head like a mantra, while she set the table for two, then moved everything to the kitchen counter to make it feel a little more informal and definitely less like a date. She repeated it when Adam showed up freshly showered, wearing a navy blue jersey and a pair of stone-washed jeans, holding a bottle of red wine. She repeated it when he sat at the other side of the counter and smiled at her, thanking her once again for the invitation before digging into the food and eating everything with gusto. It never seemed to work.
“That was amazing.” he placed the fork and knife in the empty plate and smiled at her. “You’re quite an impressive cook. I thought mac and cheese was your specialty, but apparently your skills in the kitchen go way beyond that.”
“I’m half Italian, on my mother’s side: food pretty much runs in our DNA.” She smiled, remembering the big Sunday lunches she’d managed to attend only a handful of times, and the Christmas get-togethers when her grandmother and great-grandmother cooked so much food they could’ve fed the whole neighborhood and still have leftovers for the following day. “My great-grandmother, who lived in Italy until she was twenty and moved to the States to be with her one true love from Maine, was very adamant I should learn that the way to a man’s heart is always through his stomach. By the time I started high school I could basically cook a four-course meal with my eyes closed.”
Adam let out a belly laugh as he stood and picked up their plates. “Can’t really contradict her, seeing as my father says he knew my mom was the one the day he tasted a chocolate cheesecake she’d made for him.”
“Men are all the same, no matter their nationality. It was her motto; she repeated it to me whenever she saw me.”
She picked up the leftover lasagna, put it on a clean plate and covered it with kitchen foil.
“Hannah was a terrible cook, but I loved her all the same,” Adam said as he set the dishes into the sink.. “She barely managed to make toast and scrambled eggs without burning them, so I grew pretty much used to takeout and frozen food. She’d planned to take cooking classes before Sophie was ready to be weaned…”
He trailed off, and Ellie’s heart broke a little for him—and a little more for herself because she realized he hadn’t been joking when he told her he’d never want to replace his wife. He’d never gone a day without saying something about her, whenever he and Ellie had talked.
“I’m sure she had other qualities.” She turned on the tap and let water fill the sink. “Not everyone can be good at everything. I, for example, can’t sew on a button to save my life. And don’t get me started on how much I hate math, calculus, and anything involving numbers.” She scrunched up her nose, earning a chuckle from him. The cloud that had shadowed his face only a minute before was gone now, just like she’d hoped. “What are you good at? Apart from making a mean mac and cheese from the freezer, of course.”
Adam chuckled again and, oh gosh, the sound of his laughter made her knees go weak.
“Um, let’s see…” His index finger went to his lips, as he pretended to be thinking deeply. Ellie’s gaze followed the movement and settled on his lips for one beat too long. Some unidentified flying object fluttered inside her belly, beating against her ribcage like a trapped hummingbird. “I’ve been told I’m very good at telling bedtime stories. Sophie loves the way I make all the different voices, especially my impersonation of the big bad wolf in Red Riding Hood.”
“And I know for a fact you’re a good carpenter, too.”
Adam looked down, fidgeting with the strap of his watch, looking a little self-conscious and utterly adorable. Ellie, please stop! her heart begged, beating wildly in her chest like a crazed bouncy ball.
“It’s only ever been a hobby I shared with my grandpa, just to spend a little time with him when I was a teenager.” He turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankles and stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. She ordered her eyes not to follow the movement and concentrated on keeping her focus on his face. His oh-so-scruffily-handsome face.
Oh, for the love of all things holy, Ellie! Get a grip!
“I’m not ashamed to say that when I came home from Seattle I was a mess. My grandpa understood that taking it all out on an inanimate chunk of wood would be better therapy than talking to a shrink, and he was right.” He shrugged, looking up from his feet at Ellie. “It worked miracles and helped me earn a little extra money when I knew I wouldn’t be ready to focus on a real job. Now I only do it when my grandpa needs help with some orders. We’re currently making toys for the kids in the family shelter outside town. Gramps will dress up as Santa and deliver them the day before Christmas.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet of you.” And so totally adorable, but she obviously refrained from saying it out loud. “I’m sure the kids will love them.”
Adam smiled, a sweet smile that made him look like the young, hard-working and loving man he was, rather than the overwhelmed dad who had to juggle a job, a girl, and a puppy, all on his own.
When he offered to help her with the dishes, she waved him off, filled two mugs with hot coffee, and they went into the living room, chatting a little more about trivial things. He told her about all the things he’d created over the years, offered to take a look at the creaking cupboard door tomorrow and made her laugh when he told her stories about his childhood with two wild brothers, and Hannah and her siblings.
It was nearly midnight when they realized the fire in the hearth had died and the room was getting chilly. Adam did a double-take when he looked at the clock on the mantel and shot to his feet.
“Sorry, I’ve been blabbering all night. You probably can’t wait for me to leave.”
“No, it was fun. In case you haven’t noticed, my only company is a fat cat who doesn’t care about anything but his belly. Maybe because he’s a man.”
He smiled and took the three steps to the door. “Thank you for tonight. It’s been a while since I acted like a man instead of an old father.”
Ellie laughed. “You’re not an old father. You’re a cool, young daddy—you’re Sophie’s hero.”
“Well, it was good to be just Adam for a few hours.”
“I enjoyed getting to know just Adam and spending time with him.”
He lingered by the door, with his right hand on the handle, as a cute smile formed on his lips. In the weak light coming from the table lamp on the wooden console table in the narrow entrance, he was even more handsome than in plain daylight. The shadows emphasized his soft features, the straight line of his nose, his smiling dark eyes, his full lips. His strong arms and taut chest under that navy blue jersey.
She forgot to breathe for a moment, lost in his chocolate brown eyes framed by long dark lashes that made them look even deeper, even sexier. Deep pools she’d like to lose herself in, that she could get lost staring into every single minute of every single day.
What was this man doing to her? How had he climbed over her defenses, how had he stolen all of her certainties and reached her heart without her consent?
“I guess I should get going now.” His voice was a sexy rumble that turned her heart rate into a crazy hip-hop beat. She didn’t trust herself to speak without squeaking, so she confined herself to nodding. He pressed down on the handle and opened the door. Her heart slowed a little, as she let out a mental sigh
of relief. From the way he’d looked at her only a moment before, she’d really thought he was going to kiss her.
And she didn’t think she would’ve been able to pull back. And that was a very, very bad thing.
He stepped through the threshold, and she reached for the door handle, ready to shut the door as soon as he’d gone down the three steps. He took another step and turned around. When their eyes met, she could swear her heart stopped beating. The pull was almost tangible, the air crackled with the attraction she was sure wasn’t one sided—not from the way his eyes darkened as he took a step toward her, closing the distance between them.
She was still on the threshold, but when he moved closer her instincts got the better of her, and she took a tiny step back. Not big enough to put distance between them, because her body refused to move away from the handsome man who stalked toward her.
Two steps and he was back inside her house. He didn’t say a word as he pushed the door closed and reached for her face with his big and yet so gentle hands. She barely let out a gasp before his mouth was on hers, making her breath catch in her chest and turning her legs to jelly. She leaned against the door, and he pressed into her, his hands never leaving her face, his lips never leaving her mouth. His strong body the only thing keeping her upright.
This was better than she’d ever thought possible. Better than any other kiss she’d ever received. Better than anything else she’d ever experienced. The second his lips brushed hers, she felt as if lightning had struck her, and she waited for thunder to rumble in the distance. A red-hot current flew through her body, from her head down to her toes, and up again until it reached her heart, where it exploded into a million fireworks when he deepened the kiss.
Her mind was begging her to stop, to pull away, to save what little dignity she had left, but her body didn’t agree. She craved his touch, his taste, his gentleness and roughness all mixed together in what was turning out to be the most incredible kiss in the whole history of kisses. His right hand moved to the nape of her neck, and his left hand moved from her cheek to start a slow trail that stopped at her hand, where he intertwined his fingers with hers. She squeezed, and he squeezed back, and in that moment everything felt right.