The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant

by John Warren

  Knots in scarves and panty hose are also notorious for jamming. Eventually, you are going to untie your submissive. It is definitely anti-erotic to break fingernails while struggling unsuccessfully with a balky knot. You are the dominant; you are supposed to be in control. Being bettered by an inanimate hunk of silk is not the image you are trying to project. Even more importantly, it interrupts the flow of the scene and destroys the mood for both of you.

  Plastic clothesline rope is a definite no-no. Not only can its wire core cut deeply into the submissive’s flesh, but it has an uncanny ability to jam almost any knot put in it.

  Leather laces are definitely another no-no for immobilization. First, they are so narrow it is almost certain to cut into the skin and stop circulation. Second, leather shrinks when it gets wet. Even if you’re not into watersports and don’t plan to dunk your submissive into a bathtub, he or she is going to sweat. Just a bit of sweat is enough to turn a tight, but safe, tie into a tourniquet. Worse, this same contraction will turn a relatively safe knot into a solid mass of dense leather.

  Thin cord or line can be used for a decorative binding to produce interesting patterns on the submissive’s body or for controlled compression of body parts, like the breasts or cock, but it should never be used for immobilization. For example, these should never be used for securing the wrists to each other or to a solid object. Keep thin cord for decoration or for secondary tying where a lot of strain will not be brought against the binding.

  What can be used for bondage. What to use, then? The best bondage tools are well-made leather restraints. Although they are expensive, and may be daunting to the novice, they are actually the safest way to render a submissive helpless. Their width and the nature of the material make it harder, although not impossible, to do something wrong, like cutting off the blood supply.

  Of course, leather binders do cut into the dominant’s creative flexibility. Wrist cuffs go on wrists. They won’t go around waists or upper legs. When using them, at least part of the choreography is already laid out.

  Rope is cheaper and inherently more versatile. Sisal or manila rope is rough and stiff. Some submissives like the harsh touch of these materials, and some dominants enjoy manila’s ability to hold knots without jamming. Both, however, have to be handled carefully because they can cause severe rope burns. Polyethylene rope, the yellow stuff that floats, is stiff and hard to handle, as is mountain- climbing rope which consists of a core of nylon lines inside a jacket of woven nylon.

  Before the ghost of my father, a Merchant Marine Officer, descends to crack me alongside the head and yell, “You’re talking about line, son!” I’ll admit that what seafarers call “rope” is more suitable for fastening the QE2 to a dock than a submissive to a table. However, rope is what most people call it. Sorry, Dad.

  Perhaps the best all-around material for bondage is plaited cotton rope. Cotton rope used to be used primarily to hold sash weights in windows and for clothes lines. With the passing of sash weights and the use of non-rotting nylon for clothes line, cotton rope largely disappeared. The modern version has a plastic stiffener inside which renders it inappropriate for use in bondage. However, some pure cotton rope is still available, and those who have been able to obtain it swear by the material and guard their supply with care. A number of these lucky individuals report buying theirs at a magicians’ supply store.

  If you are lucky enough to find some without the plastic stiffener, wash it first to get rid of the starch that manufacturers use to make it look pretty in the store. Follow the directions in scrubbing up in the appendixes for washing unless you want to spend the next few hours untangling a Gordian knot.

  The best generally available material, in my opinion, is nylon rope. It is smooth and flexible and takes knots well without jamming. I prefer 5/16-inch and 3/8-inch rope for immobilization bindings, while 1/4-inch and the so-called parachute cord are best for decorative bindings. Ropes of a half-inch diameter or larger are relatively difficult to work with, but can be worked into the scene as psychological props.

  Nylon rope usually comes in two surfaces, three strand twisted and plaited. Plaited rope slides more evenly over skin while the three strand can leave “interesting” patterns when it is removed and lends itself to splices. Three strand twisted should be cut by wrapping it with electrician’s tape and cutting through the tape. This also provides a nice temporary whipping.

  The ends of both kinds should be sealed with a flame so that they will not unravel. When you are melting the ends, keep away from the smoke, it is not healthy to breathe it. Work outdoors or in a well-ventilated room. The melted ends are also very hot. Use a stick or pencil end to tamp them down. Don’t even consider using your finger. If you are cutting a lot of nylon rope, you might consider getting an attachment that goes on a soldering gun and turns it into an electrically heated knife.

  For a really kinky look, dye the rope black or red. Cotton rope dyes easily with any commercial dye. However, nylon rope requires something more “enthusiastic.” I use a dye manufactured in Germany called Deka L. A ten-gram package is enough to easily dye fifty feet or so of 5/16 inch nylon rope.

  Another interesting bondage medium is mountain climbing webbing. Available in a number of colors, this nylon webbing is fairly thick and comes in widths from one to three inches. Because it is so broad, there is less chance of cutting off circulation, and it can be tied as easily as rope and does not jam. You can cut and seal it in the same way as nylon rope.

  The most common mistakes beginners make with rope is, first, to buy too little of it and, second, to cut it into lengths that are too short. The shortest useful length is generally five to six feet. Anything shorter tempts the dominant to tie the submissive incompletely and too tightly.

  You should have several lengths available. My kit usually contains five five-foot lengths, five ten-foot lengths and a twenty-footer. If I am planning a webbing (see further along in this chapter), I bring two fifty-foot lengths. Of course, specific plans may call for a different mix, but this combination is good for, say, a visit to Paddles or to a private party.

  It is a good idea to code your ropes according to their lengths so you can quickly and easily select the proper one for the job. I use plastic tapes on each end of the rope. As a mnemonic aid, they are coded by the spectrum. Blue (blue has the shortest wavelength of the visible colors) is for the six-foot length, yellow is for tens, green is for twentys and red for the fiftys.

  Colored tapes are also useful for establishing ownership at the ends of group scenes. All of my ropes have a black piece of tape at one end in addition to the color code.

  Of course, rope isn’t the only material to use for bondage. Fiberglass-reinforced packing tape is impossible to break. I like to run a few turns of gauze bandage over the area before putting the tape in place so that the adhesive does not bond to the submissive’s skin. That isn’t necessary, but if you are going to use the tape against the submissive’s skin, experiment by putting a small piece on his or her skin in an earlier session and checking later for any redness or other signs of an allergic reaction. In later scenes, keep checking because a single exposure may not be enough to trigger a reaction. Also, pulling fine hairs out as the tape is being removed may not be what your submissive would call positive pain.

  I’ve seen photographs of submissives bound in 12- or 14-gauge heavy-duty electrical extension cords. It looked attractive, and the thick plastic coating would provide more than adequate protection against cutting into the skin.

  Velcro provides impressive opportunities for creative bondage. One couple I know has glued strips of hook and loop Velcro together to make a versatile tool. To tie it, all she does is give the strip a half turn and presses it against the opposite side. I’ve seen Velcro replacement wrist-watch bands that look like they would be quite effective as cuffs if they were attached to wide pads so they wouldn’t cut into the skin.

  Hook Velcro will also stick to nylon rope although the bonding is not as stron
g as against the proper loop material. Velcro does have the tremendous advantage in that the dominant can free the submissive quickly and easily from most bonds using this material. SportSheets, mentioned in the toybox chapter, use Velcro in an interesting fashion to turn any bed into a bondage device.

  As you have read, I’m a fan of nylon rope. However, to be fair, there are a large number of bondage enthusiasts who prefer natural fiber rope. Because I’m not an expert in this area, I asked Tatu, a nationally recognized Japanese or Asian styled bondage expert to write the following section. You can read more of his work on his website (www.Ds-Arts.com) or write him at Tatu@Ds-Arts.com.

  Natural Fiber Rope for Bondage By Tatu

  Terminology. There is confusion in terminology in the retail marketplace concerning natural or vegetable fibers. The word “hemp” in the retail bondage marketplace erroneously refers to rope made from cannabis sativa as “hemp.” However, the word “hemp” in the industrial marketplace refers to any natural fiber rope that is made from the bast fiber of a plant, which would include jute, sisal and manila.

  Bast fiber is material from the skin, or bast, surrounding the stem of a plant. These fibers are selected because they have a much higher tensile strength than other portions of the plant. Tensile strength is the breaking point of any fiber or rope. They are used in the industrial marketplace to make rope, as well as paper, burlap and yarn.

  So the term hemp can be applied to any natural fiber rope, and it is used in that way by those who make natural fiber ropes.

  Sisal is a hard, vegetable fiber used in gardening, shipping, petroleum, mining, fishing, lumbering, architecture, and communications industries. There is also a large market for sisal in the pet industry in making scratching posts as well as in the arts & crafts market. It is what you buy at the U-Haul store for moving purposes, and it is not well suited for bondage.

  Manila is a hard, vegetable fiber used a lot in the public utilities, as it will not burn easily when in contact with electricity.

  Both sisal and manila are both very scratchy and can cause some nasty abrasions for bondage, which actually might be a plus for some. These ropes can also contain some very nasty chemicals that can cause other problems when in contact with roughed up skin. Be sure and read the packaging, before you use in contact with human skin. In general, sisal and manila are not the best choices for bondage and probably should be avoided.

  Jute is a soft, natural fiber rope in the hemp family, and, contrary to popular belief in the west, it is the rope of choice by traditional rope artists known as “Kinbakushi” or “Nawashi” in Japan. It is however harder to find in the west on the retail market. If you can get it, it is a lovely rope to use. Jute is mainly used commercially for wrapping bales of cotton, sacks, and a course cloth. In North America we generally refer to it as burlap. Its strength is similar to hemp.

  Hemp is a hard, fiber rope, which comes from the cannabis plant, specifically the cannabis sativa variety, which is the non-psychoactive variety in contrast to the cannabis indica variety, which has poor fiber quality and is used for recreational drug use. Cannabis indica has high levels of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Hemp (sativa) is what our bondage ropes are made from, so you won’t get a chemically induced high from your bondage rope. You may however get a natural high caused by the energy of your scene.

  It has historically been used mainly on sailing ships. Its fibers in an unfinished state are somewhat softer than sisal and manila.

  Finishing or conditioning hemp rope. You can buy finished hemp from several retailers on the Internet. If you choose to buy unfinished hemp, which comes in a scratchy and rough state, you will need to know how to end up with very nice finished form with a wonderful feel for bondage. I highly recommend a seven-step process pioneered by Angelene Black from the now closed “Helios Rope,” a process which is now used by Erotic Hemp of Chicago (www.erotichemp.com).

  Washing

  Drying

  Scorching the irritants off the outside of the rope

  Oiling the rope

  Hand rubbing the oil into the rope

  Pressure cooking the rope for softness

  Drying

  This process is completed a total of 3 times.

  After Helios Rope went out of business, I was able to obtain special permission to post at my website their process for finishing hemp. See ds-arts.com/RopeArt/hempropefinishing_ange/ene.pdf.

  Why hemp? The choice of bondage rope for many is often based simply on feel and cost so many will automatically gravitate to synthetic fiber ropes. Hemp and other natural fiber ropes, however, challenge the senses in other ways. Natural fibers have a feel to the skin which is desired by many. Some say they can feel the rope becoming one with their skin as opposed to the slippery feel of synthetics. The natural hemp color, which will vary from a light to dark brown, can look very natural and visually pleasing against the skin. Its look is appealing in an artistic sense to many, especially photographers. The earthy natural smell appeals to many rope bottoms and tops as well, as it challenges their senses in a very erotic way that synthetics do not. Many report that these natural fiber ropes gives a special energy to the rope scene.

  Hemp ropes also are superior at holding knots and stretch minimally, which makes it more appealing for those “get out” scenes centering on escape.

  Hemp rope care. Rope inspections should be done regularly. Get into the habit each time you bring out a rope of pulling it through your fingers to feel for abnormal broken or twisted fibers, excessive wear, cuts, nicks, signs of abrasions, reduction in diameter, or anything unnatural to the feel.

  Hemp rope can be washed. You should wash it in cold water with an unscented natural laundry detergent. Do not use any kind of fabric softener. Be sure and use a hosiery bag or you will end up with a tangled mess. Stretch your ropes out under some weight to dry.

  Natural fiber ropes will tend to dry out over time and will need to be re-oiled. Mink oil is my choice. Simply place light amounts in a heavy cloth and pull along the rope.

  Allergies are another factor in all rope choices, but especially in natural fiber ropes. Some people will have sensitivity to hemp and can have experience a breakout on the skin or cause excessive itch and dryness in the eyes. Hemp can be dyed in various color choices. It is the choice of many in the west who do Japanese styled bondage.

  Whipping the ends of your natural fiber rope. If you choose natural fiber rope, you normally will be able to buy it with the ends of the rope already whipped or perhaps it will come with a wall or crown knot in the ends.

  To whip the ends:

  Select a thin piece of a strong twine about ten inches long

  Begin by making a loop in the twine and laying it lengthwise near the end of the rope

  Hold the loop in place as you wind the twine around the rope 10-15 times starting about ½ inch from the end of the loop

  Once you reach the loop end, pull the twine through the loop

  Tighten by pulling both ends

  Trim off the ends and do the same at the other end of the rope

  Size and strength. Natural fiber ropes will come labeled in global measurements (millimeters) rather than western inches. So when you buy hemp you should know that 6mm is about 1/4 inch and 8mm about 3/8 inch. These will be the ideal choices for bondage use.

  One final consideration of natural fiber ropes is strength. Natural fiber ropes are not as strong as synthetic ropes. The recommended load is ten times the actual weight of your subject. So a 200-pound person should be held by a minimum 2,000 pounds of rope strength. Generally their breaking point for natural fiber rope is about 800 pounds so, if you use them for any sort of load bearing with a human, you need to use three or four strands to meet acceptable safety standards for safe support of your rope bottom.

  Knots: knot so mysterious

  There is nothing mysterious about knots, and a dominant need not become an apprentice to a pipe-smoking old tar to learn how to join two ropes together or how to fasten a s
ubmissive down securely. However, a thorough knowledge of a few knots should be part of your repertoire.

  resquare knot

  Square or reef knot — This is one of the most common knots. It works best with two ends of the same rope or with ropes of the same size and material. It is simply two overhand knots, one in each direction. Millions of ex-Boy Scouts tie it every day, muttering under their breaths, “Right over left; left over right.”

  Slipped reef or safety knot — This is a modification of the square knot in which one end has been doubled back like a half bow under the other rope. In an emergency, the dominant can give a good yank on the doubled back end and the knot will just come apart.

  Two half hitches — Because this can tighten, you should never use this knot directly on a submissive’s body. However, it is an effective knot to attach a rope to a ring or other inanimate object. Run the rope completely around the object and then back along the rope. Loop it around the rope with the end coming out under itself. Go down the rope a bit and then repeat this.

  bowline

  Bowline — The bowline lets you make a loop in a way that is less likely to slip than two half hitches. However, particularly with nylon rope, you have to be careful to tighten the knot after you tie it. The classic description of a bowline is, “The rabbit (the end of the rope) comes out of the hole (the loop you have made) goes around the tree (the part of the rope above the loop) and then goes back in the hole.” It sounds cutesy, but it is an effective memory aid.

  fisherman’s bend

  Fisherman’s bend — This is a knot that allows you to use rope as a less effective substitute for bondage cuffs. First wrap three or four loops of rope loosely around the submissive’s wrist or ankle leaving at least two feet of free end. Then wrap the end around the rope, loop it through the loose loops and then tie it off with a bowline. This makes the loops less likely to tighten independently and cut off circulation.