Shara's Happy New-foundland Year

by Tamie Dearen

  Dr. Garcia nodded, sporting a pasty smile. “Before we get to your nutrition, let me give you the results of your lab tests.”

  “My lab tests? I thought it would be weeks before we got the results back.”

  “Some tests only take a few minutes. For instance, it’s no surprise that you’re anemic, but one result was a bit unexpected.”

  Her stomach clenched, and the room swam. It’s a cyst. I’m going to need surgery, and I can’t afford it. Please, God, don’t let it be cancer. “If it’s anything that can wait, I’ll need to save up some money.”

  “Shara...” Dr. Garcia’s you’re-going-to-die-soon expression made Shara’s heartbeat pound in her ears. “You’re pregnant.”

  Black crowded the sides of her vision until the room disappeared.

  Chapter Eight

  The afternoon passed in a blur. Shara couldn’t even remember driving back to the dental office. She did her job on automatic drive, greeting patients with a mechanical smile. Dr. Madison accepted her explanation that everything looked normal and Dr. Garcia expected the spotting to stop soon. But as Shara reconciled the deposits for the week, Noelle stopped by the front desk.

  “Tell me again what the doctor said. There’s nobody here but you and me, so you can be honest.”

  “She didn’t say much. It was mostly routine.”

  “Shara, is that the truth? Why won’t you look at me?”

  Shara didn’t want to make eye contact, but she couldn’t hold out forever. She glanced up into Noelle’s sympathy-filled gaze.

  “There’s something else, but I can’t tell you.” How could she admit to Noelle she was pregnant? Noelle would be so disappointed in her, knowing she’d made a commitment to be a Christian. On the other hand, James had told his brother about that night, so Noelle might already be aware of her failing. If so, she’d never given a sign of that knowledge.

  Noelle grabbed a rolling desk chair and moved it beside Shara’s. “I promise not to tell anyone, if you don’t want me to. Didn’t I keep your secret when you first talked to me about the bulimia?”

  “Yes, but this my fault.”

  “How can it be your fault? It’s a medical issue.”

  “It’s like when a smoker gets lung disease.”

  “Shara, I don’t care. I love you, and I’m on your side. Whatever this is, you can’t face it alone. Or you could talk to James about it.”

  “No!”

  Noelle jumped, her mouth dropping open, and Shara realized she’d shouted the word.

  “Are you mad at James again? Did something happen this week?”

  “No, but James can’t know about his.” A lump formed in her throat, her eyes stinging.

  “About what? Shara, is it cancer?”

  “Do you promise not to hate me?” A tear spilled out, and she brushed it away.

  “Shara, I could never hate you. Just slow down. I think you’re hyperventilating.”

  She took a deep breath and held it as long as she could, following with slow, even breaths through her nose until her head felt clearer. “Okay, here it is... I’m pregnant.”

  Noelle’s eyes widened like saucers. Then a myriad of expressions passed across her face, ending with a joyous smile. She threw her arms around Shara’s neck. “We’re pregnant together! This will be so fun!”

  Stunned, Shara hugged her back, waiting until all the implications sank in and Noelle realized she’d slept with James after she claimed to be a believer. Sure enough, she sat back in her chair and a frown appeared.

  “Shara, you have to tell James. You can’t keep this a secret from him.”

  No condemnation yet. Noelle must be great at hiding her true feelings. Shara picked up a pen and began doodling on a piece of scratch paper, writing James in big block letters. “I can’t tell him. What do you think he would do?”

  “I think he’ll ask you to marry him.”

  “Of course he would, because he’d think it’s the right thing to do.” She scribbled hard, filling in the J. “And then he would end up hating me and the baby.” At Noelle’s hurt expression, Shara repented her harsh appraisal. “Okay, he wouldn’t hate the baby.”

  “James is a great guy,” Noelle defended. “You have to give him a chance.”

  “But he’s not ready to get married, much less to be a father.” Shara moved on to color in the A.

  “With God’s help, you two could make a marriage work.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say, but you and I both know I’ve already blown it with God.” She concentrated on her work, filling in the M, and avoiding eye contact with Noelle. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on her friend’s face.

  “You think God won’t forgive you because you slept with James?”

  She gave a sharp nod, finishing the M and starting on the E, ignoring the teardrop that fell and smeared the ink on her masterpiece.

  “Do you know the story of David and Bathsheba, from the Bible?”

  “No.” She couldn’t imagine wanting to hear a Bible story right now, but she didn’t object.

  “David was the king of Israel. He slept with Bathsheba, the wife of one of his soldiers, and she got pregnant.”

  Shara paused her doodling. “I’m guessing this didn’t go over well with God, huh?”

  “God was pretty angry. David didn’t slip up in a moment of passion. As the king, he had a whole slew of women to sleep with—they were called concubines. But he wanted Bathsheba and went to a lot of trouble to sleep with her. Then he plotted to cover up the affair and ended up having her husband killed. So no, I’d say it didn’t go over well with God.”

  The pen slipped out of Shara’s fingers. “What happened?” She picked it up and began scribbling inside the S, but she was concentrating on the story and drew outside the lines a bit.

  “There were major consequences—they lost the baby. But David repented and God forgave him.”

  “Like totally forgave him? Like he still went to heaven after all that?”

  “Like totally forgave him. And God used David and Bathsheba as the top of Christ’s family tree. Even after all the ways David messed up, he got to be Jesus’ great-great-great-a-bunch-of-times grandfather.”

  Shara sat staring at James’ name on the paper. Could she really be with him without making him lose his salvation? Then her mind returned to the more pressing problem—the baby.

  “But they lost the baby?” Her heart twisted in her chest.

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to lose your baby.” Noelle’s hand covered hers where it rested on the desk. “What did the doctor say about the baby and your... food issues?”

  “I have to go back into counseling. I’m already freaking out, imagining my body ballooning out of control.” She glanced at Noelle’s small baby bump, and her heart raced out of control. As the room titled, she closed her eyes and rested her head on the desk, wishing she could wake up and discover the whole thing was a nightmare.

  “Are you considering abortion?” Noelle’s voice sounded like it was in a tunnel.

  She didn’t lift her head to answer. “No. I don’t believe in it.” Though it would certainly make life easier.

  Noelle let out a huge sigh. “Good. I don’t, either.”

  She felt Noelle’s gentle hand rubbing her back. Gradually, the fog cleared from her head, and she sat up again. She risked a glance at her friend and caught her wiping tears off her face.

  “Why are you crying?” Shara asked.

  “I’m pregnant. I cry at the drop of a hat, and this is way more than the drop of a hat.”

  “Yeah, it’s more like the crash of a meteorite.” She swallowed hard and faced Noelle. “Thanks for not condemning me when you found out I was pregnant. I promise, we only slept together one time.”

  “I hate I ever gave you the impression I would judge you like that.”

  “I figured you would, since you’re such a good Christian and all.”

  “Christians aren’t supposed to judge p
eople.” Noelle snatched a tissue from the box on the checkout counter and dabbed at her eyes. “You know, Jesus got criticized for being friends with sinners. He even defended a woman who’d been caught sleeping with a man.”

  “He did?” She sucked in a shocked breath and started choking.

  Noelle patted her on the back. “We’ve got to get you back in Bible study. There are some great stories you’ve never heard. This girl had been sentenced to death for adultery, and the religious leaders were going to kill her by throwing rocks at her—it’s called stoning. And Jesus said, ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.’ One by one, all the men dropped their rocks and walked away.”

  Shara felt hope, for the first time. Maybe Jesus would be on her side, after all. Yet even with God’s help, her future seemed pretty dismal. She’d been swimming in a haze of depression ever since the doctor dropped her little news bomb. “Noelle, you can’t tell anybody, especially James.”

  “Can I tell David if I make him promise not to tell James? We could both be praying for you.”

  “I guess so. I think he already knows what happened.”

  “You can’t keep it a secret forever.” Her earnest gaze made Shara squirm with guilt. “You have to tell James, sometime. Eventually, you’ll start showing.”

  “Right. Eventually.” Unless she wore loose clothes and didn’t gain much weight.

  NOELLE AND DAVID HAD clearly lost their minds. James felt lucky when he managed to escape from their overbearing onslaught. He’d cut them both some slack for being emotional expectant parents, but they crossed the line when they demanded he join their insanity. It all started when he arrived to pick up Fezzik, planning to dash in and out and arrive home with plenty of time to prepare for Shara’s arrival.

  “Hi, James.” Noelle met him at the door, linking arms and pulling him toward the family room. “If you have a minute, there’s something I want to show you.”

  “Uhmm... okay. But I’m kind of in a hurry.”

  “This will only take a second. Anyway, you beat David home, and I know he wanted to talk to you. On the phone he told me, ‘Don’t let James leave. I’ve got something important to talk to him about.’ You know, it’s probably a work thing.”

  “He’s had all day to talk to me. What suddenly can’t wait until Monday morning?”

  “I have no idea.” She gave a little shove, and he fell back onto the couch. The satisfied expression on her face gave him his first hint of the craziness to follow. She sat beside him, wedging him against the end, and a picture album appeared in his lap. “Oh, look! It’s you as a little baby! Aren’t you cute?”

  She pointed to a bald, wrinkled infant, screaming in the background of the picture, with a foreground image of a toddler—surely David.

  “Not really. I honestly don’t think newborns are cute.” Her face fell, and he hurried to add, “But I’m sure your baby will be attractive.”

  “Haven’t you ever thought about having a child? Wondered what your baby would look like? See, here’s another picture of you and David, when you were old enough to walk. Isn’t that adorable?”

  “I’ve seen this one before, I think. But I’m not much on baby photos.” He sat forward, ready to escape.

  “Wait!” She put a hand on his shoulder, dragging him back. “I need your advice on something.”

  “My advice?”

  “Just a second.” She picked up her phone and thumbed through her photos. “See these two cribs? They’re hand-tooled by craftsmen. I think the woodcarvings are absolutely gorgeous, don’t you?”

  “I have to admit, that woodwork is beautiful.”

  “Can you help me choose one?”

  “I guess. Let me see...” He flipped back and forth between the two images. “I guess I like this Mahogany one. It’s intricate, but not flowery, like the other one. How much is it?”

  “I don’t know... maybe three or four thousand.”

  “Three or four thousand? Are you kidding me? For a tiny bed a baby sleeps in for a couple of years?”

  “We could always get a cheaper one.” Her lip trembled like she might cry, and James remembered—too late—David talking about how emotional Noelle had been with the pregnancy hormones.

  “I’m sorry, Noelle. If that’s the bed you like, you should get it. Or do you want me to buy it for you? Is that my job as an uncle?”

  “No.” She sniffed, averting her eyes, tears trickling down her cheeks. “I wanted to find a crib you would like.”

  “But I do like it. I really do. Please don’t cry.” He searched in vain for a box of tissues. “I’m sorry I complained about how much it costs. That’s probably a bargain for a hand-carved crib. What do I know?” At this point, he would’ve claimed he liked one with dancing ballerina hippos carved on the side.

  She sniffed again. “Okay. If you’re sure you like it.”

  “I do.”

  “You could help me choose a dresser.”

  The sound of the garage door opening set Abby to barking. James had never been so anxious to see his brother. “David’s home. I should go catch him in the garage.” He leapt to his feet. “Since he wants to talk about work and all.”

  “Right! Go on. Talk to your brother.” She waved him off with a wide smile, all trace of her former breakdown having vanished. The story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde came to mind.

  James darted to the door, reaching it as it opened. “Hey, David. Noelle tells me you need to talk? Should we go out in the garage where we can have some privacy?” He let his eyes bug out as he darted his gaze in the direction of the garage, a desperate, silent message that they should talk alone.

  David glanced at Noelle, who nodded like a bobble-head doll on speed. “It’s nothing that requires secrecy. We can sit down to talk.”

  “I really need to be going. Shara’s coming over later and—”

  “Shara is really a beautiful girl, isn’t she?”

  “Ummm... Yes. I think she is.” He glanced over his shoulder at Noelle, whose smile drooped a smidgeon at the corners. Perhaps she hadn’t heard David’s faux pas. “But of course, your wife is gorgeous. You’re a lucky man. She’s a one-of-a-kind, that Noelle.”

  “Noelle is great, of course. But Shara... now that girl has some good genes, don’t you think? With those huge blue eyes and high cheekbones? Some lucky man is going to have some seriously handsome progeny with that girl. Right?”

  “Right. Right.”

  “I think,” Noelle commented with icicles in her voice, “we’ve more than established how beautiful Shara is, compared to your fat, pregnant wife.”

  David’s face blanched. “Honey, I didn’t mean it like that. Weren’t you and I both talking about how beautiful Shara is? I was repeating what you said.”

  “You don’t have to be so enthusiastic about it,” she said petulantly.

  James only hoped he could escape before the next deluge of hormonal tears.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” David started toward her, his face downcast.

  “Well, that’s my signal to go. Thanks again for watching Fezzik.” James strode toward the gated-off area, where Fezzik danced in anticipation.

  “Wait!” In a miraculous move, David appeared in front him and stepped over the gate, retrieving Fez. “I wanted a chance to see Fez before you took him away for the weekend.”

  “Since when have you bonded with Fez?”

  He held the squirming puppy up to his face and let him lick his mouth, his words garbled. “He’s so cute. How could I not bond with him? You know, having a puppy is a lot like having a baby.”

  “Yeah, I can see how having a kid would make you exhausted all the time from lack of sleep, like having a puppy.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I was talking about how adorable they are and how you fall in love with them and can’t imagine your life without them. Don’t you already feel like that with Fezzik?”

  “Not really. In fact, I’ve about decided I’m not cut out to have a puppy. I’m p
robably not cut out for fatherhood, either.”

  “Don’t say that!” Noelle had arrived behind James’ back, scaring him out of his skin. “You’ve only had Fezzik for a week. And having a puppy is nothing like having a baby—your own flesh and blood.”

  James scratched his head. “But a second ago, David said it was same.”

  “He’s never had a baby. What does he know?”

  “I know as much as you,” David defended. He set Fez on the floor, and the pup immediately made a huge yellow puddle the size of Lake Michigan, and proceeded to walk in it, his furry feet soaking up the pungent urine.

  “I’m carrying the baby. I understand better than you.” Her tone rose to a shrill pitch, her eyes narrowing to slits.

  “Where can I find an old towel or something to clean this up with?” James interrupted.

  “Oh, I’ll get something for you.” Noelle’s personality changed back to the sweet one, but James couldn’t remember if it was Jekyll or Hyde.

  “No, I’ll clean it up,” said David, holding her shoulders and planting a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Of course you know things I don’t. You’re the mother.”

  She sniffed. “No, I was too harsh. You’re the father, and you’re as important as me.”

  David kissed her again, lingering until James felt certain they’d forgotten his presence. He picked up his stinky dog and his bag of accouterments and slipped to the back door. As he closed it, he heard David’s voice. “That went well, didn’t it?”

  Chapter Nine

  Shara lay on the couch, her trusty plastic-lined trashcan at her side. It had to be psychological, but since learning of her pregnancy, she seemed utterly incapable of keeping food down. It came back up, almost as fast as it went down. As a consequence, the prescription nausea medication hadn’t stayed in her system long enough to be absorbed.