Maggie Lee (Book 16): The Hitwoman Plays Chaperone

by Lynn, JB

  “We?” I gulped and squeezed the steering wheel harder. The idea of my over-the-top friend trying to navigate a sensitive investigation alarmed me.

  “A lot easier to protect him if you know who the enemy is.”

  “Don’t you think that’s something that should be handled by the authorities?”

  She twisted in her seat to stare at me. “You, who breaks the law on a regular basis, want to trust the Po-Po?”

  Startled I looked over at her, afraid that in addition to figuring out that I talk to animals, she’d somehow divined that I’m a part-time assassin.

  I couldn’t read her expression except to know that she felt intensely about the subject matter.

  “Wh-what do you mean?” I stuttered, forcing my attention back to parking the car in the B&B’s driveway where Angel was putting out the trash.

  He waved a greeting. I lifted my hand in response.

  “Po-Po….the police,” Armani explained fiercely. “Useless pieces of…”

  “I thought you like Detective Griswald,” I interrupted, not wanting to hear a misguided diatribe against the men and women, who, while not perfect, did their part to try to keep the balance of peace in the world.

  “I do,” she huffed. “I wouldn’t have set him up with Stephanie, the dog trainer, if I didn’t.”

  “How’s that going?” I asked quickly, hoping that switching her attention to a subject she’s passionate about would get her to drop the whole investigation line of thinking. I got out of the car before she could answer.

  “PMS is great!” Armani declared enthusiastically as she climbed out. “Best thing I’ve ever done.”

  Angel raised his eyebrows at the ridiculous statement.

  I shrugged at him. While I personally am not a fan of PMS, I was glad that she was happy with her Psychic Matchmaking Service, despite her unfortunate choice to refer to it by its initials.

  Noticing Angel for the first time, Armani beamed. “Hey there, handsome.”

  “Hi, beautiful,” he responded with an answering grin. “Keeping out of trouble?”

  “Getting into it,” she replied with a saucy wink.

  My chest tightened a little as jealousy coursed through me at their effortless flirtation. Part of me knew it was harmless, but the other part of me hated their easy repartee. “Anything new?” I blurted out, awkwardly inserting myself into their exchange.

  If they noticed my bungling, neither acknowledged it.

  “Susan’s on the warpath,” Angel replied easily.

  “What else is new?” I muttered.

  “Give her a break. Darlene’s arrival has been a shock to everyone,” Angel rebuked gently. “She’s just having a hard time accepting all the changes.”

  “What changes?” I asked suspiciously.

  “Katie wants to sleep at their house tonight.”

  “No!” I spat out.

  Angel and Armani shared a look.

  I knew that my knee-jerk refusal didn’t look good. “It’s too much change at once,” I tried to explain.

  Angel cocked his head to the side. “That was Susan’s reaction too.”

  “It’s freezing out here,” Armani complained. “Can you two finish bickering inside?”

  “We’re not bickering,” Angel and I said simultaneously.

  “Look at that,” Armani mocked. “You two agree on something.” She limped toward the kitchen door.

  “I just think that it’s all too much too soon for Katie,” I tried to explain, falling into step behind her. “She already had a busy day with the field trip.”

  “Kids are resilient,” Angel countered.

  “It won’t kill her to wait a couple of days,” I snapped.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his hands in surrender. “Whatever you say, boss.”

  Remembering how he’d taken care of me after the field trip fiasco, I halted and reached out and touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

  He covered my hand with his own and stared deeply into my eyes, gestures that were both oddly intimate and exciting, if the fluttering of my core was any indication. “Darlene’s return has been hard on you too.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not hard. I’m just happy she’s back.”

  “Yeah,” he replied dryly. “You’re so happy. Your face may crack from all the smiling you’ve been doing lately.”

  I blinked, unsure of how to respond to his observation. He was of course right that I wasn’t happy about Darlene’s return, not that I wanted her to go away again, but the reunion hadn’t gone as smoothly as I’d hoped.

  “Not everyone is as hot blooded as you, Angel,” Armani called, beckoning with her good hand for us to join her indoors. “Let chica inside.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a wide grin, releasing my hand and indicating I should proceed him.

  I stepped into the kitchen, out of the cold and straight into the burning fires of hell.

  Chapter Nine

  Or at least my version of hell, the one that consists of crying family members, demanding animals, and being eyed suspiciously by a member of law enforcement.

  At one end of the room, Aunt Susan and Marlene were faced off. Marlene had tears streaming down her blotchy face, while damp trails leaked from the corners of Susan’s eyes.

  At the other end of the room, Katie was sobbing uncontrollably despite the tearful ministrations of Aunt Loretta, who was leaning heavily on her walker, inadvertently flashing my niece with her lace-encased, heaving bosom.

  Meanwhile, DeeDee was on the other side of the kitchen door, whining incessantly, “Out me let. Out me let.”

  And Detective Brian Griswald had his arms crossed over his chest and was glaring at me as though the scene was all my fault.

  I took a step backward, thinking I’d rather run away and freeze to death than deal with the chaos, but I bumped into Angel. Glancing up I realized that he looked as shell-shocked as I felt surveying the carnage.

  “Wow,” Armani gasped. “There is way too much energy in this place for me. I’m outta here.”

  She practically ran me over to make her escape, muttering, “I think the letters mean Scorpio” before colliding into the wall that is Angel.

  “Scorpio?” I asked, wondering what that was supposed to mean.

  “Usually I’d enjoy the opportunity to feel you up, Muscles,” she quipped, completely ignoring me, “but right now I need you to get out of my way.”

  “Some other time then,” he joked, moving out of her way.

  “Crazy people,” she muttered, pushing past him, and breaking free of hell.

  The vacuum her exiting presence made drew everyone’s attention to me.

  “Maggie,” Marlene cried with relief.

  “Aunt Maggie,” Katie cried pitifully.

  “Margaret,” Aunt Susan began sternly.

  “Maggie?” DeeDee barked. “Maggie? Out me let.”

  “In the name of all that is holy, let the beast out,” God boomed from his terrarium in the basement. “I’m holding on to my sanity by a thread.”

  I knew the feeling, which is why, despite all the humans who wanted my attention, I responded to the dog. “Hold on, DeeDee,” I called. “I’m coming.” I took the few steps to the basement entrance and yanked the door open.

  The Doberman bounded out liked she’d been locked up for years. “Maggie! Maggie!” She jumped up, her paws hitting my shoulders, almost knocking me over. “Back you’re! You missed!”

  Gently, shoving her so that all of her paws were on the floor, instead of on me, I knelt down and hugged her tightly, grateful that someone was glad I was home. She licked my face.

  “Go lick away Katie’s tears,” I whispered, so that only she could hear.

  Not needing to be told twice, she rushed across the room, and did exactly as she’d been told.

  As I’d hoped, Katie stopped sobbing and wrapped her arms around the dog’s neck.

  Slowly standing b
ack up, I caught Angel’s eye.

  He nodded his understanding. “C’mon you two,” he said with an easy smile. “Let’s go in the other room.” Walking over to Katie, he swept her up in his arms and walked out, DeeDee trailing obediently behind.

  “Good dog,” I said softly as she left the room.

  She flashed me a toothy grin, which coming from a Doberman pinscher is a little scary looking, but I knew she meant well.

  Loretta pulled a tissue out of her bra, then two, then three, like they were some kind of unending magician’s scarf. She dabbed away her tears, patted her cheeks, and slowly, with the help of her walker, shuffled out of the room.

  That left just Marlene and Susan and the scowling detective for me to deal with. It still felt like too much to contend with, and once again I wanted to bolt from the room.

  Instead, I forced a smile and said, “Nice to see you, Brian. Looking for your uncle?”

  He shook his head. “You.”

  “Me?” I’m pretty sure my voice squeaked an octave higher than usual. I know my heartbeat sped up.

  That’s the problem with being an assassin: any time someone in law enforcement wants to talk to me, I’m convinced they’re going to lock me up.

  “I need to talk to you about the Concord incident.”

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I forced myself to breathe.

  “After we discuss some family business,” Aunt Susan decreed haughtily.

  Brian, who’d dealt with my family enough to know that he’d be wise not to cross our matriarch, nodded. “I’ll wait in the foyer.”

  He strode out, leaving me with Marlene and Susan.

  I turned to face them grudgingly. “What did I miss?”

  “She—” they began simultaneously.

  I held up a hand to silence them. “One at a time. Susan first.”

  Marlene gave me the same look she had when we were little kids and she’d thought I was a traitor of the worst kind.

  “This whole house is in chaos,” Susan began.

  I nodded slowly. I didn’t disagree with her assessment. The B&B was crazier than usual. Which was saying something.

  “We need rules,” she continued.

  My chest tightened. I knew that tone. I’d lived under her rules.

  I felt my inner teenage-self yelling, “Hell no!” but I tried to keep my expression blank.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re all adults here,” Marlene interrupted hotly.

  “Except for Katie,” I inserted.

  “In case you haven’t noticed,” Susan spat back at my sister, “this is my house. My house, my rules. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

  “Don’t say that,” I interjected hastily.

  The last time Marlene had left home, she’d become a prostitute. I didn’t want Susan to push her back into that life again.

  “Let’s everyone just take a breath,” I suggested, looking from my aunt to my sister.

  They each wore identical expressions of outrage.

  “Darlene’s return has been really stressful,” I said slowly. “No one should make any hasty decisions.”

  Susan balled her hands into fists. “Things are out of control.”

  “I understand,” I soothed. “And I agree some things could change, but making proclamations from a place of anger or hurt isn’t going to lead to the best decisions.”

  They both tilted their head to the side like synchronized swimmers and stared at me like I was a creature at the zoo they’d never seen before.

  “Wouldn’t you agree?” I prompted.

  “Yes,” Marlene admitted grudgingly.

  Susan nodded slightly.

  “So why don’t you both go to your separate corners and we’ll talk about this later,” I urged, moving toward Marlene and giving her a hug.

  “Thanks,” she whispered, squeezing me tightly before hurrying out of the room.

  I turned to Susan.

  “That’s a very mature mindset, Margaret,” she said with a tinge of awe.

  “Maybe I’m finally growing up.” Smiling I opened my arms to her.

  She stepped into my embrace and hugged me tightly. “I’m proud of the woman you’ve become.”

  A lump rose in my throat. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I choked out.

  “That color orange is dreadful on you,” she muttered. Pressing a kiss to my cheek, she strode out of the room, unshed tears glittering in her eyes.

  I leaned against the kitchen counter for a moment, feeling drained. I plucked at the hem of the offensive t-shirt.

  “You okay, sugar?” Piss, wound her way around my ankles.

  I didn’t know where the cat had come from, but I was glad for her companionship. Bending down, I picked her up and held her against my chest. “It’s been a long day.”

  Instead of asking questions or offering advice, she just purred. The vibration soothed me and for a moment, I closed my eyes, and basked in the simple peaceful escape.

  “Thank you,” I murmured. “Thank you for not asking anything of me.”

  “My pleasure,” she rumbled, rubbing the top of her head against my chin.

  I could have stood there forever, but I still had to talk to Brian Griswald.

  So I gently put her back down, and gave her a cat treat from the jar in the cupboard.

  Alerted that there was food available, DeeDee raced back into the kitchen like she hadn’t eaten for weeks. She looked at me hopefully.

  Lacking any willpower, whatsover, when faced with those warm eyes, I tossed her a treat too before ushering both animals into the basement.

  Squaring my shoulders, I took a deep breath, and marched out in search of the police detective.

  Chapter Ten

  True to his word, Detective Brian Griswald was waiting in the foyer. His cell phone was pressed to his ear, and the weight of the world seemed to be pressing down on his shoulders.

  As I approached he raised one finger, indicating I should wait to speak.

  “Yes, sir,” he said. “I understand. Yes. Yes, sir.”

  His tone was polite and deferential, but the tightness in his jaw told me that the conversation was stressful.

  Finally he disconnected the call and shoved the phone into his pocket. “Sorry about that.”

  “I made you wait a lot longer,” I excused easily. “I know you said you needed to talk to me about what happened with the Concord kid, but I already told the officers on the scene what happened.”

  He nodded. “I saw the report, but…” he trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

  I waited silently, trying to understand his tension. Brian Griswald may be a member of the police department, and is logically a threat to my safety, but I liked the guy and wasn’t happy that he seemed so stressed out.

  “The chief is on me to figure this out,” he explained apologetically, “because the mayor is hassling him. The Concord family contributes to his campaign.”

  “What is it that you’re trying to figure out?”

  “Why someone wants the Concord kid dead. Today was the second time the kid’s almost died in a week. If you hadn’t been there…”

  I shuddered, knowing that if Mike hadn’t had his bird’s eye view and helped me, the boy would have surely drowned.

  Brian nodded, his expression haunted. “So I’ve got to ask, did you see anyone strange or suspicious lurking around?”

  For a split second, I considered telling him that a guy who looked a lot like my father had been there, but thought better of it when I remembered Brian often looks at me like he thinks I could be my mom’s roommate in the loony bin.

  Brian raised his eyebrows inquisitively.

  “You mean besides all the men in suits who were dressed for Wall Street rather than a George Washington reenactment? Because they were pretty suspicious.”

  Brian shrugged. “They were the boy’s protection detail.”

  “They did an awesome job,” I said sarcastically.

&
nbsp; Brian smirked. “Those who can’t cut it as cops go into security saying they’re doing it for the money.”

  “Speaking of the kid’s protection…” I swallowed hard, knowing he wasn’t going to like what I had to say next.