Maggie Lee (Book 16): The Hitwoman Plays Chaperone

by Lynn, JB

  The detective scowled. “What about it?”

  “I’ve sort of agreed to watch him at some fundraiser in a couple of days.”

  “You what?” His incredulity bounced off the walls.

  “His grandmother asked,” I replied weakly. “Edith. Nice woman. Very hard to say no to.”

  “You can’t.”

  I cocked my head to the side, knowing I had to tread carefully. “Do you mean I can’t legally?”

  Brian frowned. “Well, legally I can’t stop you.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll do it.”

  “But,” he protested, “you shouldn’t. Leave it to the professionals.”

  “The ones you just told me aren’t up to the job?”

  He frowned.

  “I’ll just be an extra set of eyes,” I pledged. “I won’t get directly involved.”

  He shook his head. “No offense, Maggie, but it’s been my experience that if there’s trouble around, you’re involved.”

  He was right.

  And the trouble was just getting worse.

  Chapter Eleven

  Not that I didn’t try to avoid trouble. After all, I’m not a glutton for punishment or anything. I really would like to have a calm, drama-free, trouble-free life, but that seems to be impossible.

  Before I continued to referee whatever was going on between Aunt Susan and Marlene, or Aunt Susan and Darlene, or even Aunt Loretta and Katie, I ducked into the basement, needing to escape human contact and receive the counsel of my animal friends.

  But of course nothing ever goes according to plan.

  “It’s been a hellish day,” I announced as I ran down the basement stairs.

  “You’re telling me,” a voice replied.

  Not the voice of any of the animals.

  Startled, I stumbled to a stop, only managing to stay upright because I grabbed the railing and held on for dear life.

  “Everything is going to shit, Maggie,” Zeke announced.

  He sat on my sofa, cradling his head in his hands.

  “He’s been carrying on like that for an hour,” God complained from his terrarium.

  “Forever!” DeeDee barked, since dogs seem to have no concept of the passage of time.

  “More like five minutes,” Piss corrected from beneath the couch.

  “See?” Zeke moaned. “Even your pets agree with me.”

  “Hardly,” God sniffed indignantly

  Suddenly so exhausted I could barely stand, I shuffled over to the sofa and sank down onto the cushion beside Zeke. “What happened?”

  “Besides Susan being on the warpath all day long? Isn’t that enough?”

  “Compared to the day I’ve had, that’s nothing,” I muttered.

  “Well add on to that the fact that Darlene’s been acting squirrelly.”

  “Squirrel?” DeeDee jumped up and ran around in a circle searching for a rat with a fuzzy tail. “Squirrel?”

  “Squirrelly,” Zeke groaned. “The whole world has gone squirrelly.”

  “Squirrel!” DeeDee barked excitedly.

  “There are no squirrels here you nincompoop!” God bellowed, beating his head against the glass wall of his terrarium. “Do you see what I’ve had to endure all day?”

  “Squirrel no?” DeeDee asked me, cocking her head to the side like she couldn’t grasp the concept.

  “There are no squirrels,” I confirmed tiredly.

  Sighing heavily, the dog sprawled out on the floor, resting her chin between her paws.

  “What did Darlene do now?” I asked Zeke.

  “She seemed intent on picking a fight with Susan, acted strangely around Larry Griswald, and then ran off with no explanation.”

  “Well, in her defense, sometimes it’s hard not to fight with Susan,” I said slowly. Plus, I sometimes act strangely around Susan’s fiancé too, considering he’s not only Detective Brian Griswald’s uncle, but a US Marshal.

  Zeke threw his arm around my shoulder. “That’s my girl, always seeing the best in people.”

  “I wouldn’t say that,” I corrected quickly, not wanting him to think I was a better person than I am. “I’m just biased about what a pain in the butt Susan can be sometimes. What did Darlene do around the marshal?”

  “She looked like she was pissed at him.”

  “And what was his reaction?”

  Zeke shrugged. “Who knows? That guy has one hell of a poker face. I never know what he’s thinking.”

  “Maybe she’s uncomfortable with his place in Aunt Susan’s life,” I mused. “I mean, he is the closest thing to a patriarchal figure this family’s had in a while.”

  “Ever,” Zeke corrected mildly. “It’s not like anyone ever had much respect for your dad even when he was around.”

  I nodded. “About my dad…”

  Zeke groaned. “Just to make the day worse?”

  I quickly told him about my dad’s doppelganger and his actions at the Revolutionary reenactment.

  “That’s weird,” Zeke agreed.

  “I have a theory about that,” God offered from his enclosure.

  “We’ll talk about it later,” I told him.

  “Good,” Zeke said, thinking I was speaking to him. He was clearly relieved that the field was open to returning to his problems instead of mine.

  God let out an indignant, “Humph!”

  “And,” Zeke continued dramatically, “to top everything off, Ms. Whitehat is on the warpath.”

  I slumped deeper into my seat. It was definitely not good news that the head of the secret organization that blackmailed both Zeke and I into doing work for her was in a bad mood. “Maybe that’s why Darlene disappeared.”

  “Nope.”

  “You don’t know that,” I countered. After all, I had the distinct impression Darlene had been working for the organization for a lot longer than I had.

  “Whitehat called looking for Darlene,” Zeke replied.

  “Oh.”

  “Oh,” he parroted.

  Stumped and exhausted, I fell silent.

  I also fell asleep.

  I know that, because I woke up with a start, feeling someone watching me.

  Blinking, I realized that Angel stood nearby, arms crossed over his chest, a slight frown tugging at those kissable lips of his.

  I didn’t understand his unhappiness until I realized that my head was resting on Zeke’s shoulder and his arm was looped around me. Glancing up, I saw that Zeke’s eyes were still closed. Either he was faking being asleep, or he really was that exhausted.

  Taking care not to wake him, I carefully extricated myself from his embrace and got off the couch.

  Angel turned on his heel and marched up the stairs, into the kitchen.

  I stopped just long enough to scoop up the lizard and dump him in my bra before following him upstairs.

  When I entered the kitchen, Angel’s back was to me as he poured two cups of coffee. “Nice nap?”

  “Guess I was more tired than I realized,” I answered carefully, knowing he wasn’t happy about finding me in a semi-intimate position with Zeke.

  “Understandable. You’ve had a long day.” Turning to face me, he handed me a cup of the steaming brew.

  “Thanks.” I tried to read his expression, but he could give Griswald a run for his money in the poker face department.

  He sipped his coffee. “Well, boss, I thought you should know I’m a bit concerned about Katie.”

  I was so alarmed by his concern that I didn’t even respond to being called “boss”. My heartbeat sped up and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

  “What’s wrong?” The lizard and I asked the question simultaneously.

  Angel’s eyebrows shot up at my squeaking chest, but he didn’t comment on it. “She’s exhausted. I don’t know if it’s the field trip or the excitement of meeting her cousins or what, but the combination has been too much for her. Her balance has deteriorated and her strength is sapped.”

  “Do you think I need to take her to the
doctor? Should I take her to the emergency room?” My words tripped over themselves in their rush to leave my tongue.

  “Yes,” God answered. “Immediately.”

  Angel chuckled at the squeaking, which offset my desire to pound on my chest to muffle the lizard.

  Angel rested his hand on my shoulder as though he knew I needed to stay grounded before my panic got the best of me. “She’s going to be okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  He smiled reassuringly. “Yes. But your instincts were right to not let her do the sleepover. She needs to take it easy for a day or two. Better to err on the side of caution than to let exhaustion get the upper hand.”

  “I should have said no to the field trip,” I muttered.

  He shook his head. “No, it was good for her. She just needs to pace herself. Like her aunt should be doing,” he chided gently.

  “I’m trying,” I responded automatically.

  He leaned close.

  My breath caught in my throat, thinking he was going to kiss me. It had been a long day and I was too tired to resist. Hell, I didn’t want to.

  His lips hovered over mine and then he kissed me.

  On the tip of my nose.

  “Pinocchio,” he teased, moving away from me.

  I blinked at him, unsure if I was relieved or disappointed.

  As though he read my mind, he said, “You’ve got enough on your mind right now. I’m not going to make trouble for you, sweetheart.”

  With that, he toasted me with his coffee cup, spun on his heel, and walked out of the kitchen.

  I leaned back against the counter, realizing his closeness had left my knees weak.

  He popped his head back in. “Oh, speaking of trouble, my uncle said to tell you not to be a stranger. You know what that means, don’t you?”

  I nodded.

  If the mob boss wanted to see me, it could only mean one thing.

  “More trouble,” God whispered from my chest.

  Chapter Twelve

  After explaining to Katie that she couldn’t have a sleepover with her cousins because I didn’t want her to end up in the hospital, an idea that made her eyes go wide and had her nodding her agreement before I even stopped speaking, I went to deal with Susan.

  I left God to keep Katie company, not needing him to offer his opinion during my discussion with my aunt.

  Despite the fact it was freezing, she was sitting on the front porch.

  Shivering, I stepped outside. “Okay if I join you?”

  She nodded. “We need to do something about Marlene.”

  Wrapping my arms around myself, I sat in the seat nearest her. I didn’t like the sound of the proclamation. “We?”

  “You,” she stressed.

  I liked that even less.

  Susan sat up straighter. “I don’t approve of the way she’s carrying on with Doc.”

  I recognized that tone. It was the one she used when she was desperate to control something she shouldn’t be. I knew I had to tread carefully. “Carrying on?”

  “The man has practically moved in.”

  “So has Griswald,” I reminded her gently.

  “That’s different,” she huffed. “Lawrence is a fine, upstanding man.”

  “And Doc’s not?”

  Susan shrugged. “He makes most of his money bumping and grinding.”

  I couldn’t argue with that, since Doc did work as a male stripper. “But he’s doing it to put himself through school,” I reminded her.

  “That doesn’t mean he and Marlene can be banging the headboard at all hours.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t that what Loretta has been doing for the last couple of decades? You never stopped her.”

  “That’s because my sister is incorrigible.”

  “And Marlene is fragile,” I chastised gently.

  “Fragile?” Susan shrieked the word in a tone that threatened to pierce my eardrums.

  I turned sharply toward her. “Yes. Fragile. Or have you forgotten that we lost her for years?”

  Marlene had essentially run away and turned to prostitution to support herself. I was worried that if Susan pushed her on the issue of Doc, who, as far as I could tell, was a decent guy, despite his second job, that we’d lose Marlene again.

  Susan hung her head.

  “Please don’t push her away,” I begged.

  Susan grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. “I forgot that this is hard on you too.”

  “So hard,” I agreed. “And it’s harder not having any answers from Darlene. Has she told you where she’s been all these years? Or why she stayed away?”

  Susan shook her head.

  “I asked one question and Aunt Loretta practically accused me of waterboarding her,” I complained. “But her disappearance blew a hole in my life…” I paused, trying to make my reaction as dramatic as possible, “…sorry, in all of our lives. And when we thought she was dead…” I trailed off.

  Susan patted my arm. “I know.”

  “I’m just so, so…” I pretended to search for a word, knowing that I had to sell Susan on the idea that I’d had no idea Darlene was still alive.

  “Hurt,” she whispered so softly that I barely heard her.

  “Hurt,” I repeated, realizing that Susan wasn’t angry and on the warpath like Zeke had supposed. “And so confused.”

  She nodded. “It’s like the world’s been knocked off its axis.”

  “You can say that again,” I murmured, thinking that my own sense of equilibrium had been upset by Darlene’s reintegration into the family.

  “No one will listen to me,” Susan pouted.

  I chuckled. “I know the feeling well.”

  We both fell silent. I rubbed my arms trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

  “What did the Concords want? Besides to make you wear that horrendous shirt?” Susan asked, changing the subject, letting me know that she was willing to drop her argument about Marlene.

  “They want me to keep an eye on the kid.”

  “You refused of course.”

  I shook my head.

  “Margaret,” she sighed her exasperation.

  “I know, but it’s just one night.”

  “One night?”

  “There’s a fundraiser at the planetarium…”

  “You need to learn to say no,” she said, getting to her feet. “Ready to go inside?”

  I wanted to say no just to be a smartass, but I was quickly turning into a popsicle so I kept my mouth shut and followed her inside.

  As soon as I stepped into the foyer, DeeDee ran up to me. “Gotta! Gotta!”

  “Let me grab a coat,” I told her.

  I ran down to the basement where Zeke was still lightly snoring on the sofa. I picked up the first piece of warm clothing I saw, a ratty old sweatshirt, and hurried back to walk the dog.

  Thankfully, she was content to conduct our walk in blessed silence as she carefully sniffed every blade of grass and clump of dirt she encountered. I didn’t mind though. The longer she took, the longer I could stay away from the B&B.

  I’d finally started to relax when a car slowly pulled to a stop beside us.

  “Pay attention, DeeDee,” I warned through clenched teeth.

  Her ears perked up. “What to?”

  “The car.”

  “Car what?”

  She really isn’t much of a guard dog, at least on the alertness scale.

  Before I could tell her that I wanted her to watch the car that was stopped right next to us, the passenger window lowered.

  I glanced over, half-expecting to see the muzzle of a gun pointed at me. After all, I’d made some enemies in my work as a hitwoman.

  “Hey, Mags.” The man’s familiar voice rolled over me like a warm, soothing wave, washing away my anxiety.

  “Patrick! Patrick!” DeeDee yipped excitedly, jumping up and putting her paws on the car door so that she could peer inside.