Cowboys Don't Ride Unicorns

by Tara Lain

  “Danny?”

  Oh shit. “Yeah, boss?” He slowed.

  “Talk to you for a second?”

  Double shit. “Sure.” He walked to the porch, where Rand stood staring at the moon.

  Danny stopped at the base of the steps and stared too.

  “So I heard our guest came running out of the bunkhouse this morning crying and wearing not too much.”

  Three shits, you’re out. “Who told you that?”

  “Felicia.”

  “Umm.”

  “I figure it’s true since Felicia’s pretty reliable.”

  “Yep.”

  “So tears don’t suggest a night of illicit sex. Who lured who and who pissed who off?”

  Danny scuffed his boot on the dirt. “It was just a moment of poor judgment based on a pissed-off condition at a boyfriend.”

  “Laurie pissed at Grove.”

  “Yep. Grove took off and left Laurie here when he asked to go back to the city with him. Laurie got mad and I guess decided to get even.”

  “And you—” He waved a hand.

  “I kind of reminded him that he was shooting himself in the foot, which didn’t exactly please him at the time, and that resulted in the tears. Laurie apologized today after he thought about it.”

  “So you turned him down?”

  Danny sighed softly. “Yep.”

  “I gotta say, I’m damned proud of you.”

  “Oh?”

  “That couldn’t have been an easy ride.”

  They both stared at the moon. No need to reply. Rand was a gay man. He knew just how fucking right he was.

  Finally Danny spit out his piece of straw. “You coming to dinner?”

  “No. I think I’ll have a quick meal and do some bookwork.”

  Danny nodded. “If I don’t see you, sleep well.”

  “Danny?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks. Only a few more days and you can put this whole thing behind you.”

  Danny nodded. “Yep.” I’m counting on it.

  He walked slowly and steadily to the dining room. Would he be there? Just take a breath and eat.

  Friendly chatter and good smells drifted out the door. Danny pulled off his hat as he walked in and—stopped. Well, shit.

  Aliki giggled and Andy tried to keep a straight face. Manolo had joined the group, sitting next to Andy’s dad, and he looked about to split a gut. On the wall opposite the door, the rodeo poster fit right into the western décor. Not just any poster. The one for the rodeo starting in two days—right outside of Chico.

  Danny shifted his eyes and ignored the poster as he set his hat carefully on its crown next to the door and slid into one of the empty seats. No Grove, of course, and no Laurie. Danny nodded. “Dinner sure smells good.”

  Nora grinned. “It’s fabulous.”

  Felicia walked in with a full plate for him—fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. She tried to keep them all in greens. Danny dug in, still ignoring the poster. “Thanks, Felicia. This is wonderful.”

  Finally Andy couldn’t stand it. “Uh, Danny, did you notice the rodeo poster?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, uh—”

  Aliki burst to his feet. “Uncle Danny, you gotta go to that rodeo and ride a bull, you just gotta.”

  “Well, that’s not possible, Aliki, since I’m not entered in that rodeo or that event.”

  “You’ve got two days, Uncle Danny!”

  “They’d be closed to entries now. It’s a pretty good-sized PRCA event, so lots of riders will participate. Good thing I’m not in it or I’d of got my butt kicked.”

  “Who’s kicking whose butt?” Laurie walked into the dining room dressed in tight black jeans tucked into his shiny high boots, topped off with a pink silk shirt that opened to the middle of his smooth, lightly muscled chest. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I had some phone calls to make.” He walked straight to the kitchen and Danny heard him say, “Hi, Felicia. Let me serve myself since I’m so rude as to be late.”

  “Laurie, go sit down. I’m bringing your dinner.”

  “You’re an angel with a sauté pan.” He ducked out of the kitchen and sat across the table from Danny. “So, am I too late to participate in the butt kicking?”

  Aliki slid out of his chair and scooted down to Laurie. “Talk Danny into riding a bull for us, please, Laurie, please.”

  Laurie leaned toward Aliki and spoke in a stage whisper. “Uh, Aliki, I haven’t seen any bulls on the ranch, have you?”

  “Not on the ranch, Laurie, in the rodeo.” He pointed wildly toward the poster.

  “Ah. I see.” He looked at Danny with those Caribbean-blue eyes and blinked his enhanced lashes. “Please, please, Danny, ride a bull for us, puh-leeeeez.”

  Aliki snorted and ran around the table, dropping down on his knees. “Please, Uncle Danny.”

  Lani frowned and looked toward her brother. “Aliki, Uncle Danny does a lot for us, and it’s not appropriate to beg him to do something that he may not want to do and is dangerous on top of it.”

  Lani seldom got stern, and Aliki responded instantly. He stood and stared at his shoes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be in—uh, inappropriate.”

  Danny ruffled his hair. “It’s okay. Like I say, entries have probably been in for days or longer. But maybe we could get tickets to see the rodeo. Would you like that?”

  “That’d be really nice, thank you.”

  Not exactly overwhelming enthusiasm. “How about you, Andy?”

  Andy glanced at Lani, probably expecting a reprimand. “Yes, thank you.”

  Laurie pursed his lips and leaned his cheek on his palm. “So tell me why you can’t ride a bull, hmmmm?”

  “I’m not entered.”

  “So enter.”

  “It’s too late.”

  “Uhh. What about Maury Garcia? Bet he could get you in.” Manolo stared at his chicken like the damned thing might cluck and managed to control the laugh that obviously was pressing its way out of his mouth.

  Laurie perked up, taking Aliki and Andy with him. “Who’s Maury Garcia?”

  Manolo glanced at Danny. “One of the biggest bull riders in the world. Danny saved his life.”

  Kill the man. Kill him now. “That might be overstating the case about a hundred percent.”

  “No way. You waved off that bull and kept him off Garcia. That’s lifesaving, man.”

  Aliki lit up like a Roman candle. “How do you get ahold of Mr. Garcia?”

  “We don’t.” Danny frowned. Enough! “Look, guys, I barely know Maury Garcia, and I’m not going to piss—I mean, upset him by asking for favors when he doesn’t even remember my name. Let me know if you want to go to the rodeo.” He shoved a huge bite of mashed potatoes into his mouth and stared at his plate.

  Sounds of forks scraping plates filled the otherwise silent dining room.

  Suddenly a chair screeched back on the stone floor, and Danny looked up. Laurie pulled his phone from his pocket and started pushing buttons. He glanced at Danny. “This is bull, if you’ll pardon the pun. I’m calling Maury Garcia and asking him to enter you in the rodeo.”

  Aliki leaped up. “Yahoo!” Then he looked at Lani and sat back down.

  Danny shook his head. “You can’t do that.”

  “Watch me.” He looked back at his phone screen. “So he’s on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. Let’s see.” He pushed more buttons. “Friend request sent. Followed.” He pushed a few more. “And Liked. Cool.”

  “Come on, Laurie, you can’t be serious.”

  “Why? Manolo says you saved his life. I’ll just remind him of that.” He started searching again. “Hmm. This might be his cell number. I’ll give it a try.”

  “Laurie, stop. I don’t want to compete in this rodeo.”

  “Why? You might win some money for your fund. It says the winner gets two thousand dollars. Now I’ll admit, that’s not a lot for risking your neck, but if you’ll do it for less, why not more?�
�� He started putting in numbers on his cell.

  “Okay. I’ll call him.”

  Laurie looked up. “This might be the number.”

  Danny sighed. “I’ve got the number back in my room. I’ll call him when I go to the bunkhouse.”

  “You promise?”

  He glanced at Aliki and Andy, who both stared with wide eyes, squirming under Lani’s watchful stare.

  Manolo raised a brow. “Hey, Boone, don’t let us push you into committing to something you really don’t want to do. Especially not something like riding a bull. Jeez.”

  Oh hell. “No, it’s okay. I probably can’t get in, but I’ll call Garcia and try.” It’s just one rodeo. It’ll make the kids happy. Chances are good I’d never see anyone I don’t want to see anyway.

  Aliki threw his fist in the air and silently mouthed Yes!

  Danny finished his meal feeling the avid eyes of the group checking him out every couple of seconds. That included Mr. Caribbean Blue across the table. Finally, after some blueberries and cream, he gave up and pushed away from the table. “Guess I have a phone call to make. See you in the morning.”

  “Sleep good, Uncle Danny.” Aliki flashed his gap-toothed smile.

  “Yes, sleep good, Uncle Danny.” The breathy, sultry voice whispered up his spine. He suppressed the urge to flash his middle finger.

  Back in his room, he found the scrap of paper he’d saved in his top drawer. Guess if I really never wanted to call the guy, I would have thrown it away. He stared at the number, took a deep breath, and dialed. Probably won’t answer for a number he doesn’t know.

  “Garcia.”

  “Oh, uh, hi, Maury. You probably don’t remember me. This is Danny Boone.”

  “Hell yes, I remember you. How ya doin’, Danny?”

  “Good. I, uh, you said if I ever wanted to ride in an event that—”

  “Hell yeah, man. I’m glad you took me up on it. You want to sign up for the rest of the tour?”

  “Oh no, nothing like that. I know it’s really late, but the event coming up in Chico—well, some of the guests on the ranch where I work saw a poster for it, and they’ve been pestering me because they want to see me ride. I told them it was likely closed, but I promised I’d call you and ask.”

  “Yeah, sure. It’s only been closed for a couple days. I’ll call first thing tomorrow and tell them we’ve got a late entry. I’ll tell ’em it’s a cowboy who’ll be bringing a bunch of local fans. They’ll like that. If there’s any problem, I’ll call you back, but I expect it’ll be easy. So unless you hear from me, just show up for the event, and I’ll see you there.”

  “Man, thanks, Maury. I owe you.”

  “Hell no, you don’t. This is just a small down payment on a lifetime of gratitude, son. See you in Chico.” He chuckled as he hung up.

  That wasn’t so hard.

  Danny walked over to the old laptop he kept on his dresser. He opened it and signed on to his online banking. The balance in his savings—fifteen thousand and some change. Not much for going to school and building a ranch, even though his plans were modest. Still, every effing dollar could be tracked in long days, sore muscles, and a bruised butt. Two thousand bucks would boost that bottom line a little.

  Since I’ve got to go, I wonder if I can win.

  LAURIE WALKED back to the cabin. No, a better description was dragged his protesting body back to the cabin. What he wanted to do was go to the bunkhouse under the excuse of the bull riding and hang out with Danny. Inappropriate, as Miss Lani would say. Actually, hang out was likely a euphemism for far more pornographic activities. Even more inappropriate.

  He got to the door of his place, forced himself to open it, and went inside.

  Lonely.

  Weird. Hell, he spent hours alone in San Francisco, working on designs, doing research, reading, watching movies, and just enjoying his own company. Why would he suddenly start feeling alone? Because Grove left him here? Hell, half the time in the city, he didn’t care if he saw Grove from one day to the next. Sad but true. So what’s the story?

  He sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I really like the people here. Funny. He was used to being with decorators, architects, and artists, and Grove’s rich and powerful business friends. He forgot how fun it could be to just hang with regular folks—and kids. He hardly ever saw kids.

  Danny.

  Even though he sends my cock into orbit and we don’t understand each other a lot of the time, I feel—what? Easy came to mind. Like everyone in his life formed a walkway of eggs that he tiptoed over so as not to crack their delicate shells—protect Mama’s feelings, Daddy’s health, Grove’s ego. With Danny? Somehow Laurie committed fully. Fighting? Go for it. Teasing? Have at it. Fucking? He could only imagine. Is it because I don’t owe him anything? Because he doesn’t really matter to me?

  Oddly the answer was hell no!

  His phone buzzed. For a second he cringed inside. So many people he didn’t want to talk to. But when he glanced at the screen, he smiled. His favorite client. “Hey, Viola. How are you, dear?”

  “I miss you. Are you having a wonderful time?”

  “Yes, actually, I am.”

  “Tell those cowboys to take photos of you on a horse and send them to me. I can picture it now.”

  “I will.” He laughed.

  “So I’m sorry to bother you, but I got a call from Carlson’s assistant saying they couldn’t get that antique table we picked out. I was kind of sad, but I thought I’d make sure you knew. Carlson almost never calls me.”

  “That’s very odd. I actually don’t know anything about it, but I’ll call first thing in the morning and find out. And don’t worry. It’s probably just a mistake, but if not, I found another table here in Chico that you’d love, so we can use it as a substitute if we have to.”

  “Thank you, Laurie. I know you’ll make my new dining room a showplace. But just between you, me, and the crystal chandelier, I can live without calls from Carlson and his snooty assistants.”

  That makes two of us. “No worries, dear. I’ll have it all handled.”

  “Kisses. Keep having fun.”

  “Bye.” He made a kissing sound into the phone, and she giggled.

  He hung up and frowned. Why the fucking hell was Carlson messing with Laurie’s biggest client? She also happened to be one of the main revenue generators for the firm, so if Carlson knew what was good for him, he’d stay away from her, but Carlson Armisted seldom knew what was good. His style had been in fashion for a while. Long enough to start his business. But since then he’d built the company’s reputation off the work of his design directors—mostly Laurie for the last couple of years. True, taking credit for others’ work was a time-honored tradition in design—until the slaves revolted. Laurie planned his escape daily, but it couldn’t come fast enough.

  He flipped off the TV he wasn’t watching and walked into the bathroom. A quick shower later, he slid into bed and stared at the cover of the book he wasn’t reading. Bull riding. Two thousand pounds of power between your legs. Whew, that’s a hard-on.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPS AND cow shit. Lots of both everywhere. Not that he was complaining about the former—especially not on Danny. Holy cow, pun intended, those leather flaps did a good job of framing the target area. Laurie forced his eyes to the assembled group standing outside the bull-riding arena. Aliki stared at a poster on the fence, his dark eyes huge.

  “Uncle Danny?”

  Danny turned. “Yeah?”

  Aliki pointed at the poster. “Why does it say ‘the most dangerous eight seconds in sports’?”

  “That’s what some people call bull riding.”

  “Oh.” He swallowed hard.

  Lani gave Aliki an I told you so look but didn’t say anything.

  Danny glanced at Laurie, then the others. Everyone had come—all the ranch guests, Manolo, even Rand and Kai. Danny grinned, but he looked nervous. “Who’s minding the store?”

  Rand said,
“I left a couple of hands to take care of the animals, but I cancelled the lessons today. Hell, not every day we get to see you ride a bull.”

  Laurie had thought they’d get here, he’d hold his breath for eight seconds while Danny risked his life, and they’d go home. No such luck. The competition included two rounds. One in the morning and one in the afternoon—the “short go,” Danny told them. Of course, Danny might not make it that far. Shit, I might not make it either.

  The smell of horses, cows, and sweat filled his head like smoke. He’d imagined all that testosterone crowded into one place would be an aphrodisiac, but the arena had an odd feeling. Uncomfortable. Embarrassing to admit, but Laurie’d taken pains to look butch today—as butch as he could—so as not to make Danny uncomfortable, but apparently butch Laurie didn’t measure up in this rarified alpha-male universe. Cowboys walked by and eyed him, some looking shocked and others mean. Only a few appeared admiring or even neutral. Laurie shivered. Hell, he lived in San Francisco and decorated people’s houses. His personal style got him extra points in his world, but not here, baby. Pay attention. That’s how different you and Danny are.

  Danny was saying, “Okay, I’ve got to go back and get ready for my first ride.”

  Andy smiled, awestruck. “Did you already choose your bull?”

  “No, I don’t get to choose. I’m just an also-ran here, so my bulls are picked randomly.”

  “Do you know who you got?” Andy looked worried.

  “His name’s Humdinger. I saw him. I think he lives up to it.”

  Another rider walked by and gave Laurie a surprised look. Better than some. Laurie said, “Hey, Danny, where’s your helmet? A lot of the riders have them.”

  “I don’t use one. I need my hat for balance.”

  Laurie felt his mouth fall open. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

  Danny lowered his head and gazed at Laurie under the hat brim, which he reached up and pulled. “Hell, I gotta give that beast a fighting chance.” With a grin, he sauntered off toward the rider’s entrance to the arena.

  Rand snorted, Aliki clapped, and Laurie just stared, mesmerized by the flexing muscles in that gold-medal ass.