Sorority of Three: Freshman 101

by Melissa Brown

  “But—”

  “But…” He hesitated, fidgeting with the silverware in front of him. “Being away from you is going to be unbearable. I’ll be jealous, I know it. I’ll be defensive and protective, and you’ll end up resenting me for it.”

  “Sawyer, I won’t—”

  “And you don’t trust me, not entirely. You’re suspicious about my frat.”

  “I apologized, and I meant it.”

  “I know you did but that night, I saw a different side to you. And I didn’t like it.”

  “Wow.” I recoiled, sitting back in my chair, shocked at his words.

  “I’ve never done anything to make you not trust me, Sunny.”

  “You mean, besides having a girlfriend when we met.” I glared at him.

  He opened his mouth as if to speak, but said nothing. Like he’d honestly forgotten about the girl he’d dated before me, or he just thought I’d never use it against him.

  “I was always honest with you. Always.” His expression was pained.

  I wanted to run far away from this conversation. I knew we were headed to a breakup and that prediction made me sick to my stomach.

  “Just say it,” I said, glaring at him.

  “Maybe we need to take a step back, just for the summer.”

  “What?” My chest was heaving as I attempted to stay calm. “Like see other people or something?”

  “Yeah. My roommate and his girlfriend did it last summer. They agreed to see other people and got back together in the fall.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am. Come on, we can do this, Sunny. It makes sense.”

  “None of this makes sense to me.” My arms crossed in front of my chest as I glared at Sawyer. His expression was soft and kind, like he was begging for me to understand his intentions. But I didn’t. I felt betrayed, broken…destroyed.

  “It takes the pressure off, you know? I won’t have to get pissed off if you go out with other guys, and vice versa.”

  “But what about the Greek stuff? That doesn’t do anything to fix that.”

  Sawyer nodded slowly, avoiding my eyes.

  “You’re punishing me, aren’t you? Punishing me for my feelings.”

  “That’s not it, Sun.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I told you, I don’t want to break up.”

  “You never said that,” I said defensively, daggers in my eyes.

  “I should have, I’m sorry. We can still date, just…not exclusively.”

  And then it hit me. Maybe Sawyer wasn’t worried about who I might see while I was at home. Maybe he was worried about who he might see. Jealousy built within me as we sat in silence, the only sound coming from my fingers drumming on the table.

  “I have to go,” I said after minutes of silence. We hadn’t ordered our food yet and I hated to leave abruptly, but I couldn’t handle the way he was looking at me with pity in his eyes. I hated that I clearly wasn’t enough for him anymore. I hated that he wanted to see other people. I hated everything about this night.

  “Please don’t. It’s our last night together,” Sawyer pleaded as I rose to my feet.

  “I have to. I can’t be around you right now. You’re breaking my heart.”

  Sawyer stood and took my hands in his. “Look at me, Sunny.”

  I stared down at our hands before finally meeting his gaze. “What? What is it?” My breath was labored as I held back tears.

  “Don’t leave like this. I told you, my feelings haven’t changed.”

  “Obviously, they have. That’s just the point. And I need to go before I say anything I’ll regret.”

  “I’ll call you this weekend, okay?”

  As much as I tried to hold it in, a tear slipped from my eye and slid down my cheek. And with that one tear, I felt exposed to the world. My heart was breaking. My fairy-tale romance was coming to a screeching halt, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  “Sure,” I said softly, looking back down at our hands.

  Sawyer kissed me gently on the lips. I didn’t want to return the kiss, but felt my resolve crumble as he pulled me toward him, wrapping his arms around me. My hands drifted to his cheeks as his tongue caressed mine. I allowed him to deepen the kiss as tears streamed down my face.

  I pulled away, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand, then took a deep breath. “Good-bye, Sawyer.”

  “Good night, not good-bye,” he said, his brown eyes glistening. “I’ll call you. This weekend, I promise.”

  Wrapping my purse around my shoulder, I turned to leave, stopping at the archway of the dining room.

  “Good-bye.”

  • • •

  Sometimes when something awful happened, I’d wake up thinking it was only a dream. It would take me a minute to realize that it was, in fact, a reality, and it was like it happened all over again. The pain, the agony, the heartbreak. It all happened again.

  I woke to the sound of Gracie banging on my door. Her voice was chipper and excited, and for a minute, I thought my awful dinner with Sawyer had been nothing but a nightmare. But when I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I felt the familiar burn of last night’s tears and I knew it had happened. And it was all happening again. All of it.

  Although I was tempted to pull the covers back over my head and pretend I didn’t hear her, I knew I needed to say good-bye to my friends. They deserved that.

  As soon as I opened my door, Grace’s expression changed completely. Her bright eyes dimmed, the color drained from her rosy cheeks, and her lips pursed together.

  “What’s going on?” she asked as she walked into my room, then closed the door and locked it behind her.

  “We broke up,” I muttered, tears making a reappearance from my already sore eyes. “At least, I think we did.”

  “Tell me everything,” Grace said, taking my hands in hers.

  I did my best to tell Grace everything about the dinner the night before. The good, the bad, and the absolutely heartbreaking.

  “Oh my God,” Grace said when I finished.

  “I know,” I said with a whimper, wiping my cheeks with a tissue.

  “But you guys, you’re like…the perfect couple. How is this happening?”

  “Maybe it was too good to be true.” I shrugged. “Maybe he was never as serious about me as I was about him.”

  “I don’t believe that, Sun. I was there, remember? The Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt. The boy’s crazy about you.”

  “He was anyway,” I said.

  “He told you that his feelings haven’t changed. He said that.”

  “I know, but he wants to see other people. He wants me to see other people.”

  She shook her head. “Not really. You said yourself he was jealous over Danny. Maybe he really is just trying to keep things from falling apart.”

  “And yet they did anyway.”

  Grace was silent, then nodded her head slowly. “Yeah, I guess they did. I’m so sorry, honey.”

  “It’s okay. I’m pissed that he’s spoiling my last morning with you guys, though.”

  “Not possible. I’ll grab Claudia and we’ll go down for breakfast. Sound good?”

  “I’m not hungry. Listen, when are your parents coming?”

  Grace glanced at her watch. “In about an hour, I think. They’re not coming far.”

  “That’s right. Come by before you go and we’ll say good-bye.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Go finish packing. I’ll be okay.”

  “All right. Holler if you need me. I’ll tell Claudia, too, when I see her.”

  I nodded, closing the door behind her. Then I sank to the floor, my elbows digging into my knees as I sobbed into my hands.

  I’d lost him. I’d really lost him.

  My sobs were so consuming, I almost didn’t hear my phone ping. I didn’t want to hope that it was Sawyer; I didn’t want to get hurt all over again. I had to assume it was my mom updating me on t
heir arrival. But it wasn’t.

  Don’t give up on me, Sunny. Please.

  My heart jumped when I read that simple text. As I searched my brain for the proper response, my pulse raced. I had to be strong despite the ache in my heart, despite the ragged sobs that had released from my chest just seconds before this text came through. So I texted back:

  Only if you don’t give up on me.

  I waited for a response, but it didn’t come. It took all the strength I had not to collapse into another fit of tears. Instead, I grabbed a towel from my closet and wiped my face.

  “Sunny, are you there?” Claudia knocked on my door. “Come on, Sun. Answer the door. I have something for you.”

  I took a deep breath and opened the door.

  Claudia stood with her arms crossed in front of her. Her hair was in a bun on the top of her head, dark-rimmed glasses sat on her nose. She was always beautiful, always flawless, even like this.

  “You okay?” she asked, her voice low. Before I answered, she looked down the hall. My ever-protective friend didn’t want our floor mates to know I was dumped.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “You sure? Because, um…I’ll tell him to go if you want.”

  “Him? What are you talking about?” I asked, confused. Stepping out in the hall, I saw him leaning against the wall, another bunch of daisies in his hand.

  “Sawyer,” I managed to say before turning my attention back to Claudia, who pulled me in for a tight hug.

  “Hear him out, okay? He’s a good one, Sun. I feel it.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. “I promise.”

  “Good,” she said. “Listen, my folks will be here any minute. So this is good-bye for me.”

  “Seriously?” I was crushed. I thought we had more time.

  “Yeah, they woke up at the butt-crack of dawn. I guess they want to get this over with.” She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll call you tomorrow, ’kay?”

  “’Kay.” I wrapped my arms around her for one last hug. “I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  And with that, she walked away. I had no idea when I’d see her again, but was content knowing we’d crossed several hurdles in our friendship and had come out stronger for it.

  When she walked away, Sawyer and I stood a few feet apart in silence.

  “Can I come in?” he asked. “To talk?”

  “I guess. My roommate left yesterday, so…”

  “Great. I just…I need to clear up a few things.”

  I closed the door behind us and leaned against the wall.

  “These are for you,” Sawyer said, placing the flowers on my desk.

  “Thanks.”

  Awkward. So very awkward.

  “Listen,” he said slowly, looking at the floor. “I hated the way we ended things last night. That wasn’t my intention.” His gaze lifted to mine. “I only suggested seeing other people because I thought it could work. I really did. But if you don’t want that, then we can figure something else out.”

  “That’s what you want, though, right?”

  He nodded.

  “Don’t be with me out of pity, Sawyer.”

  “You think I pity you?” he asked incredulously.

  “Well, yeah.” I placed my hands on my hips, feeling myself getting defensive all over again.

  “I’m just trying to be realistic, that’s all. I told you, my feelings for you—they haven’t changed.”

  “But what you said…about seeing that other side of me.”

  “I know, I did say that.”

  “And you meant it, I know you did.”

  He nodded again, looking sheepish.

  “You’re confusing me. I don’t understand.”

  Sawyer pulled me in for a hug. “I’m trying to give us a fighting chance. It’s only a few months. Let’s just see how things go.”

  “And what? We’ll magically get back together in the fall?”

  “If that’s what you want, yeah.”

  “How do you know it’s what you’ll want?” I asked, desperate for a solid answer.

  “I feel it in my gut, Sunny. We’re far from over.”

  He stroked my hair and I sobbed into his shoulder.

  “Just for the summer?” I asked, feeling myself giving in.

  “Three months, that’s all. And we’ll still talk all the time. We’ll talk and e-mail, and I’ll work on my dad about coming to visit.”

  “All right,” I whispered.

  “Just don’t give up on me,” Sawyer murmured into my ear.

  “I’ll try not to,” I said. And it was the honest truth.

  I had no idea what the next three months would do to us, if seeing other people would be a blessing or a curse. Everything was uncertain, but when the boy you loved asked you not to give up on him, you did your best not to.

  And I was going to do my best.

  My very best.

  Three months. It was just three months. We could do this.

  Couldn’t we?

  The truth was, I had no idea. But we were about to find out.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you so much to my beta group—your support and enthusiasm turned this story into what it has become…the start of a really fun new series and the rebirth of characters I gave up on a very long time ago. I loved your responses to posted chapters, to the characters, and their drama. You all made this experience a WONDERFUL one!!!!!

  Kim August

  Sally Bouley

  Deb Bresloff

  Jen Campbell (Captain of Team Ross)

  Pamela Carrion (Captain of Team Trevor)

  Sharon Cooper

  Allison East

  Megan Kapusta

  Kate Mathias

  Erin Roth

  Diane Stuercke

  Denise Tung

  and

  Laura Wilson

  Pam Berehulke of Bulletproof Editing, I am officially addicted to your editing. Wow, you’re amazing. Thank you for making time in your schedule for this project. I’m so grateful for your knowledge and wisdom. Thank you so much!!!!!

  Heather Bowser at Heather Bowser Studios, your photography is so gorgeous and exactly what I pictured in my head. Thank you so much for all of the time and energy you put into making the perfect photos for this project! I can’t wait to work with you again in the future!

  Thank you also to Melissa Perea, Garyn Chiles, and Esther Shokair for modeling as Sunny, Grace, and Claudia. You were perfect and I’m so grateful that you took the time to pose for Heather and to be a part of this project!

  Lindsay Sparkes, thank you for your gorgeous cover design. You are so creative and I was so excited to work with you!

  Beth Ehemann, for being such an awesome sounding board while I was struggling to revive this story! Our brainstorming sessions helped a bunch!!!!

  Thank you, Janna Mashburn, for the beautiful book trailer!!!!! You are SO talented—I am constantly blown away by your creativity!

  Thank you to my writing family/ “coworkers.” Your support means the world to me! I’m not going to list everyone because I know I’d accidentally leave someone out and that would be unacceptable. But, know that I love and appreciate every single one of you!!!!!

  And finally a huge thank-you to my readers. I hope you will enjoy “the girls” and their series. More to come later this year! Thank you for your support!!!!

  About the Author

  Melissa Brown is a hopeless romantic living in the Chicago suburbs with her husband, Chris, and their two children. Aside from writing, she enjoys reading and baking. She also has a slight obsession with actor Henry Cavill. This is her fifth novel.

  Connect with Melissa Brown online:

  Melissa’s Blog:

  http://melissabrownauthor.blogspot.com/

  Facebook page:

  https://www.facebook.com/MelissaBrownAuthor

  Goodreads Author Profile:

  http://www.goodreads.com/melissabrown

  Twitter:
<
br />   @LissaLou77

  Also by Melissa Brown

  Bouquet Toss

  Champagne Toast

  Picturing Perfect

  Unwanted Stars