Fifteen minutes later they were standing in the foyer of the ballroom. Crowds of incredibly beautiful, incredibly well-dressed people stood chatting comfortably. Beth tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t. She was shaking. This was all a big mistake, she thought to herself as her hands curved around in a death grip on the slender strap of her borrowed silver evening bag. Todd had probably been kidding about staying in the room, but the thought of getting naked with him wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the potential for embarrassing herself in front of Houston’s social elite.
‘‘Don’t be nervous,’’ Todd told her as he led her into the main room. He’d given his name at the entrance and had been handed a card with their table assignment. ‘‘You look amazing. Everyone is going to want to know who you are.’’
‘‘That doesn’t make me feel better,’’ Beth murmured back as she eyed a diamond necklace that looked expensive enough to feed a Third World country for a month. The dress had been a mistake. ‘‘What if she’s here?’’ she asked.
‘‘Who?’’
Beth hadn’t realized she’d spoken aloud.
Todd looked at her and she was trapped into answering. Between her nervousness at the unfamiliar surroundings and the line dance by the butterflies in her stomach, she wasn’t thinking.
‘‘The former owner of the dress.’’ Beth quickly recounted how she’d wanted something spectacular for the evening but the price of designer originals wasn’t in her budget this month.
Todd’s gaze never left her face which, oddly enough, made her feel better. ‘‘If she is here, which I doubt, the only thing she’s going to think is that you look a hell of a lot better in the dress than she ever did. You’re stunning, you’re funny, you’re smart and I’m incredibly lucky to have you as my date for the evening. You’re going to be fine.’’
When he went all sincere like that and gave her the smile that made her toes curl in her pumps, she couldn’t help but feel better. She kept her feeling of confidence all the way through the walk to their table and the introduction to the three other couples with whom they would be dining. Introductions passed in a blur of names she was never going to remember, then Todd had her in his arms and out on the dance floor.
The live combo was fabulous and Todd led her through an intricate set of steps she hadn’t realized she’d known. The lighting was soft and flattering, the crowd well mannered and well dressed. She was sure dinner was going to be delicious. What was there not to like?
‘‘Are you having fun?’’ Todd asked as the band switched to a slow tune and he pulled her close.
‘‘Very much so.’’
The music surrounded her in a cocoon of sensual pleasure and safety. In Todd’s arms, she could do anything.
‘‘Still nervous?’’ he asked.
She shook her head. She didn’t care that her dress was used, that she couldn’t breathe very well or that her feet hurt. In fact, she couldn’t feel her feet.
‘‘I’ve never been to one of these before,’’ she said. ‘‘Is it just dinner and dancing?’’
‘‘Sometimes. Tonight there’s a silent auction, as well.
I’ve bid on a few things, mostly artwork for the office.’’ His smile turned wicked. ‘‘If I didn’t think you’d slap me, I would have bid on a weekend retreat they’re offering. It’s at a private island hideaway complete with blue water and white sand.’’
‘‘It sounds lovely.’’ And romantic.
He leaned close until his breath whispered against her cheek. ‘‘Native custom requires no clothing for the visit. Everyone’s naked.’’
She laughed. ‘‘You’re right. I would have slapped you.’’
‘‘I like this,’’ he said as he ran his hands up and down her back. ‘‘I like the pace we’ve set. I like being with you, but don’t for a moment forget that I want you.’’
His gaze turned intense. Beth found herself battling nerves again. She didn’t know that people—men really— were so up-front about what they wanted. His words made her want to run for cover…or toward that big empty suite upstairs. They were playing a dangerous game, one in which he was the expert. Eventually they would reach a point when he would want to claim her or walk away. Beth sensed that right up until that moment, she wouldn’t know how she was going to respond.
She found herself smiling as she realized that it was far more exciting to be chased at thirty-eight than it had ever been at sixteen.
*
An hour later she found herself chatting with Mary Alice whose last name she’d forgotten. They were at their table, between courses. Todd and Mary Alice’s husband were discussing business, leaving the women to amuse themselves.
‘‘Todd mentioned this was your first fund-raiser for the cancer center,’’ Mary Alice was saying. ‘‘They get bigger each year.’’
Beth glanced around at the expensive decorations and the gleaming chandeliers glimmering overhead. ‘‘It’s an impressive setting. I hope they do well.’’
‘‘Even after expenses, the committee will be able to donate close to two million dollors.’’ Mary Alice, a trim forty-something blonde with green eyes and beautiful long nails that made Beth curl her fingers into her palms and hide her hands on her lap, smiled. ‘‘When Todd mentioned he was dating someone new, we all groaned. That man is not known for finding ladies who are able to hold up their end of a conversation. But he promised you were different.’’ Her smile broadened. ‘‘I’m so pleased he was telling the truth.’’
Beth didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted. She felt like a new puppy being shown off for company. Yes, folks, Sparky is even paper trained.
She made a low noncommittal sound in her throat.
Mary Alice leaned close and touched her arm. ‘‘Did that come out wrong? I do put my foot in my mouth. Martin is forever scolding me. I meant that in a nice way. You’re very pleasant and I hope that Todd realizes he’s found a prize this time.’’
Now Beth knew she’d been complimented, but again words failed her. ‘‘You’re too kind,’’ she murmured.
‘‘Not at all.’’ Mary Alice’s expression turned confiding. ‘‘We all think it’s so romantic, the way you two met. What with your friend buying him for you at that bachelor auction. Fate can be very mysterious.’’
‘‘Yes, it can,’’ Beth agreed, knowing she sounded like a fool but not sure what else to say.
‘‘Todd talks about you all the time,’’ the other woman continued. ‘‘He adores your kids, which is saying something. I can’t keep him in the same room as mine.’’
The woman kept talking, but Beth found it difficult to listen. Todd talked about her? To his friends? What did that mean?
She filed away the question, determined to ask him later. For now it was enough to bask in the glow of Mary Alice’s compliments and acknowledge that fate could indeed be very mysterious.
*
Later that night, while sitting next to Todd on her sofa, in her temporarily kid-free house, Beth told herself that now was the perfect time to ask her questions about him talking about her to his friends. The only problem was that her throat was too tight for her to actually form words. After all, they were alone…and likely to stay that way until morning.
‘‘You’re quiet,’’ he said, resting his arm along the back of the sofa and letting his fingers tease the hair at her nape. ‘‘Are you wondering if I have ravishment in mind tonight?’’
‘‘Me?’’ Beth looked at him with what she hoped was real innocence. ‘‘The thought never crossed my mind.’’
‘‘You don’t lie very well,’’ he told her. ‘‘I think that’s probably a good thing.’’
Beth thought about trying to defend herself, but claiming to be a good liar wasn’t much to brag about. Besides, Todd was right. She’d never been good at stretching the truth.
‘‘I had a wonderful time today,’’ she said, thinking that a change in subject might help her relax. ‘‘The boat, the helicopter ride, the par
ty. Everything was great.’’
He shifted until he was facing her on the sofa. ‘‘You’d been worried about fitting in with everyone there, but it was fine, right?’’
She nodded. ‘‘The people I met were very polite.’’ She paused. ‘‘I take it that Mary Alice and her husband are friends of yours.’’
‘‘I’ve known them for years.’’
He’d taken off his tuxedo jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to just below the elbow. His skin was dark and tanned. She could see the muscles in his forearms. The man made her want to melt right there on her family room sofa.
‘‘She said you talked about me,’’ Beth blurted out, then clamped her hand over her mouth. ‘‘I didn’t mean to say that out loud,’’ she mumbled.
Todd frowned. ‘‘Why do you look worried? Yes, I’ve talked about you. That shouldn’t be a surprise. We’re dating. At least I thought we were.’’
Dating. As in going out together? As in just the two of them?
Beth considered the idea. She supposed that even with her limited experience she might have categorized their relationship that way, but it had never occurred to her that he would think the same.
‘‘Was I wrong?’’ he asked.
‘‘No.’’ She wasn’t about to explain why the word sounded so strange coming from him. Dating. Wow! Then she had another thought. ‘‘Um, are you dating anyone else?’’
‘‘No. You?’’
She thought he was teasing and laughed. But his serious expression didn’t change. ‘‘I’m not kidding,’’ he told her. ‘‘As far as I’m concerned this is an exclusive relationship. Do you feel the same way?’’
She could feel her heart pounding harder in her chest. Next he was probably going to ask her to go steady, and she didn’t think she would survive that. ‘‘I’m only dating you,’’ she said in a small voice. ‘‘I can only handle one man at a time.’’
‘‘Good. I’d like you to keep it that way.’’
He sounded possessive. There was a flame flickering in his gaze, one that warned her he wasn’t playing around about any of this. ‘‘So, um, we’re going to keep going out with each other for a while?’’ she asked.
‘‘I’d like to. I think this relationship has a lot of potential. On the surface our lives are different, but we have a lot in common. We’re both intelligent, we find the humor in the same things, I like your kids and I think they like me.’’
‘‘But I’m nearly your age,’’ Beth said, as if he needed reminding.
‘‘That’s not a bad thing.’’
He was asking her to take a chance. Beth wanted to tell him that she couldn’t. That she was too afraid. What if she continued to see Todd? What if she fell for him? It was just a matter of time until he figured out that she was incredibly ordinary and left her for one of his exciting young women.
She had to tell him no. She had to tell him that this was a really bad idea and they should just forget it. But…
She stared at him, at his handsome face and the way he looked at her as if she had the power to make him happy or sad. Did she really matter to him? Could she let him walk away without finding out how wonderful it could have been? He was asking her to trust in him—in them—when she didn’t know if she wanted to be a ‘‘them.’’ She still half thought of herself as married to Darren.
‘‘Handsome princes don’t fall in love with women like me,’’ she said at last. ‘‘I’m having trouble believing this is real.’’
‘‘Why? What are you afraid of?’’
‘‘That you’ll break my heart.’’
He shook his head. ‘‘If anyone’s heart is going to get broken, it’s going to be mine when you find out I’m not going to be able to measure up to the memory of your late husband.’’
She stared at him, not quite able to believe his words. ‘‘You’re scared, too.’’
‘‘Yes.’’
‘‘But you’re not going anywhere.’’
‘‘If I leave, I lose you.’’
His logic was so incredibly simple. Why hadn’t she thought of it like that? ‘‘Okay, I can be brave, as well.’’ He leaned close and kissed her. ‘‘If you get scared, just tell me and I’ll hold on tight until the fear goes away.’’
Chapter Thirteen
Beth finished fluffing her hair and set her comb down on the bathroom counter. All the fluffing and moussing and using other hair care products wasn’t going to change the fact that she was nervous.
‘‘There’s no reason to be,’’ she told herself. After over three months of dating Todd, she was completely used to the fact that he not only made her nervous, but also made her talk to herself.
She double-checked her makeup, then grabbed the small bag resting on the counter and left the room. ‘‘I’m fine,’’ she said, repeating the phrase that she thought might get her though the evening. ‘‘It’s just another date.’’
A small lie that offered no comfort. If this was a regular date, it would be easier. She’d actually gotten pretty good at the whole dating thing. She and Todd had fallen into a routine that had them seeing each other several times a week. If the kids were home, they all hung out together, going to dinner locally or ordering in. Sometimes Beth cooked, but not often. Todd claimed she worked hard enough without having to prepare dinner for him. On the weekends the two of them usually went out alone. Sometimes they went to see a touring theater company, sometimes it was just dinner and a movie. Once he’d flown her up to Dallas to see a country music concert.
Beth walked downstairs and set her bag next to her purse. Going out with Todd was a lot of fun. As he’d promised, they had more in common than she’d first realized. They laughed a lot, they argued about politics. He’d given her several great ideas for stories for the magazine and was terrific with her children. He’d also kept his word about the physical aspect of their relationship. Every time they parted company, he kissed her, but nothing more. There had been no repeats of the petting they’d indulged in on her sofa so many weeks ago. He was a perfect gentleman…and he was driving her crazy.
Beth sighed. She wanted more from Todd, and she was terrified of getting more. Nothing was how she thought it was going to be. Every week she half expected Todd to disappear from her life and every week he kept calling. She didn’t know what drew him to her, and until she understood that, she wouldn’t know why he bothered to return. She hated living in constant anticipation of the worst. It was making her crazy.
She also couldn’t forget what he’d told her after the hospital fund-raiser nearly three months before—that she would break his heart because he didn’t measure up to Darren.
Beth still didn’t know what to make of that statement. She’d had a wonderful marriage with her late husband, but she didn’t want another one just like it. She wasn’t the nineteen-year-old girl Darren had married. She’d changed and her needs had changed. While she would still love Darren if he was alive, she wasn’t looking for a clone of him.
So what was she looking for?
In moments when she was brave enough to be honest with herself, she could admit that she wanted Todd. But she wasn’t convinced he was available to her, and she didn’t want to have to recover from a broken heart, so she held parts of herself back from him. She waited and watched and wondered when he was going to grow tired of her.
And if he didn’t?
Beth didn’t like to think about that. She just assumed Todd would grow tired of her. If he didn’t, well, she might fall in love with him and that thought terrified her.
A knock at the back door interrupted her thoughts. Beth saw Cindy standing on the porch and quickly let her friend in.
‘‘We’re back,’’ Cindy said, plopping down in one of the kitchen chairs. ‘‘An amusement park in June. What on earth was I thinking?’’
‘‘Hot and crowded?’’
‘‘Oh, yeah, and rain. But we all had a good time.’’ Her friend grinned. ‘‘I think Mike enjoyed it as much as the kids.
’’
While Beth poured them each a glass of iced tea, Cindy recounted the highlights of her one-week vacation. When she was finished, she leaned back in her chair. ‘‘So what’s new with you and your boyfriend?’’
Beth winced. ‘‘It’s going well. He got Jodi a great job working for a friend of his. She’s basically a gofer in an advertising company and she loves it. The hours are long, but it’s good pay and not too far from here. She’s already talking about wanting to work in that industry.’’ She rubbed her fingers up and down her sweating glass. ‘‘Matt’s off at baseball camp this week. He gets home tomorrow night.’’
‘‘Ah, so the two of you have had plenty of time alone.’’ Beth made a noncommittal noise in her throat.
‘‘Do you still like him?’’ Cindy asked.
‘‘Of course. He’s wonderful. Very thoughtful and fun to be with.’’ Liking him was not the problem. ‘‘I keep telling myself that he’s a guy and this is courtship and this is as wonderful as it’s ever going to be. If we were in a longterm relationship, things would slack off. But considering how good they are, we’d have a long way to go before we got to boring.’’
‘‘That’s great,’’ Cindy said enthusiastically. ‘‘So why aren’t you bubbling over with happiness?’’
‘‘I am.’’
Cindy raised her eyebrows.
Beth shrugged. ‘‘I usually am. I still wonder what he wants from me. I’m still waiting for him to leave, and he keeps staying. That’s nice, but it makes me nervous, too. I’m having trouble keeping my feelings in check. I don’t want to fall for someone who is going to move on anytime soon. Anyway, it’s going great and I am happy.’’ She glanced at the clock over the double oven. ‘‘He’s due here in about a half hour. We’re going back to his place. He’s going to cook dinner for me. That will be nice. I’ve never seen his place before. It’s a penthouse. I didn’t know actual people lived in penthouses. I thought they were just used in the movies. Oh, and he asked me to spend the night and I said yes.’’
Beth and the Bachelor Page 17