Deep Spoilers - Gamer #4

by Ryder Windham

  "Deep Spoilers"

  Ryder Windham

  Gamer #4

  A Gungan danced at the starting line, frantically waving a fan of translucent opee fins. The crowd roared within the great bubble of the Otoh Gunga Garden, muting the engines of thirty-two bongo subs as they blasted out of their pens and gurgled onto the water track.

  The Otoh Gunga Challenge was open to anyone with a single engine sub that could achieve a speed of at least 100 longos, fast enough to outrun a klaa fish on its best day. Weapons were not allowed, and military subs were prohibited unless they had been decommissioned. Beyond that, the rules were as wide open as an opee's eyes.

  The contending subs had varied designs, but all were rigged for speed. Some were organically engineered monobubbles, with single hydrostatic field canopies to protect the cockpits. Others were the more prevalent tribubbles, with their port and starboard compartments sealed and flooded. This left the "blinded" sub with only the forward cockpit bubble, enabling the power unit to direct more energy to the electromotive field generators. Some cockpits carried three Gungans, but most contained a single pilot.

  The bongos sped out of the launch pool and into the half-kilometer-long water-filled race tube that wrapped around lower interior of the Otoh Gunga Garden. The race tube led to a portal that emptied into lake paonga, where the race would continue. Commanding the early lead was the Opee Fleer, a decommissioned military sub with a crew of three. Compared to the sleeker designs, it was a cumbersome vessel that needed to slow down to make the sharper turns, but its breadth made it difficult for other subs to pass it in the narrow race tube. Pursuing the Opee Fleer were three blinded monobubbles piloted by Tup Tup Grizbain, Friggy Squig, and Zak "Squidfella" Quiglee. After them came the purple custom-grown monobubble bongo helmed by Brooboo Seep, the oldest pilot in the race and favored by many on the Rep Council.

  The first five subs tore through the portal and into the dark waters of lake Paonga. Spectators in Otoh Gunga Garden quickly redirected their eyes to the large orb-shaped monitors suspended from the arena bubble's ceiling, but others kept their gaze on two subs that were still heading for the portal, operated by Spleed Nukkels and Neb Neb Goodrow.

  Humming to herself as she weaved past a broad-bellied bongo, Spleed Nukkels felt downright cozy in her blue blinded monobubble, with its distinctive elongated forward diving plane. Her wake flipped the broad-bellied bongo into a roll, spinning it toward the green, custom monobubble bongo hounding her tail. In the green bongo, Neb Neb Goodrow was chewing on a stick of gimer bark. Neb Neb's bongo had a bulked-up engine with rotating, clipped electromotive fins that allowed for tight turns. Certainly it was not the design of these two bongos that captivated spectators; rather, it was the reckless manner in which the two Gungans steered them.

  As Spleed and Neb Neb accelerated through the race tube, other bongos got out of their way. By the time they reached the portal for lake paonga, they were traveling side by side and had left a dangerously churning wake behind them. While the trailing bongos slowed to navigate through the swirling bubble trail, Spleed and Neb Neb bolted after the leading subs.

  Early in their racing careers, Spleed and Neb Neb had been accused of collusion by their competitors. Working together to ram or drive other bongos off course was not allowed in any official competition. These accusations ended after race officials reviewed recordings of the two in action, and determined that Spleed and Neb Neb were indeed competing against each another. The problem was that they weren't competing with anyone else. As Spleed had been widely quoted, "Mesa racen Neb Neb Goodrow. Everybody else just inda way."

  Not surprisingly, several bongo racers had submitted requests to have Neb Neb and Spleed banned from the sport. The common gripe was that they were too reckless, that they had given the sport a bad name. Squidfella Quiglee stressed that unless officials revised the rules of the game, it was only a matter of time before Neb Neb and Spleed's breakneck antics got somebody pasted. Responding to Squidfella's accusations, Spleed commented that any racer who worried about getting pasted should stay at home. Neb Neb laughed, adding, "Squidfella's got mesa un Spleed all wrongo. Mabee wesa lookee reckless, boot it taken a lotta skill to blast past da otter racers un let dem live."

  Squidfella Quiglee had gone so far as to file official charges, cosigned by his fellow whiners, Tup Tup Grizbain and Friggy Squig. Unfortunately for the disgruntled trio, the charges were tossed out by the Gungan race commissioner and never reached the Rep Council.

  The Opee Fleer maintained its lead and was the first bongo to reach the buoy making a confident, wide turn before heading for the next transport tube, a floating construct tethered to the lake floor. The tube had a larger diameter than the one in Otoh Gunga Garden, and its five-kilometer length spiraled downward along the continental slope to the water-filled underwaterways below lake Paonga. Dozens of orb-shaped remote-seein devices floated beside the transparent tube, ready to broadcast images of the race to the spectators in Otoh Gunga Garden.

  With a great burst of speed, the Opee Fleer shot into the transparent tube, followed by Squidfella, Tup Tup, and Friggy. Seconds later, Brooboo Seep's bongo entered the tube. Brooboo had his eyestalks trained on the tail of Friggy's craft when Neb Neb's green bongo shot underneath him, its wake propelling Brooboo toward the tube's ceiling. Brooboo pushed down hard on his controls, sending his craft into an angled dive. Spleed's blinded monobubble soared over his canopy and forced him to execute a tight roll to avoid collision. As Brooboo straightened out and watched Spleed's blue bongo zoom ahead of him, he realized he was holding his breath. He sucked in some air, briefly wondered whether he should retire from bongo racing, then stomped on the accelerator.

  Spleed shot past Neb Neb and came up fast behind Friggy. She did not have to look at her navigation sensor field indicator to know that Neb Neb was right behind her and would try to overtake her before reaching the end of the tube. Even if she had looked at her sensor, it would have been little use, since it was still broken from the last race. In front of Spleed, Friggy was maintaining a long twisty, steering his sub through a controlled roll in an effort to prevent Spleed from passing him.

  "Tube hog," Spleed muttered, then sped forward, aiming for Friggy's fins.

  Seated in his spectator box in the Otoh Gunga Garden bubble, Boss Nass grinned as the bongos - visible on the Garden's large monitors - careened through the race tube in Lake Paonga. However, the ruler of Otoh Gunga was not looking at the monitors but at the gathered crowd. Naturally, many of them were, like himself, Gungan bongo racing fans, but there was also a new element to the audience.

  Tourists.

  And not just the human population of Naboo, although they were well represented in Otoh Gunga Garden that night. Boss Nass had to admit that he would have had difficulty distinguishing one humanoid species from the next were it not for their clothes. In his eyes, the Naboo dressed better.

  Since the Battle of Naboo, word had spread of the courageous and resourceful people that had crushed the Neimoidian Trade Federation. Although Boss Nass was immensely pleased and proud of his alliance with the humans of Naboo, he was even more delighted by the countless representatives of Republic planets who had contacted him personally, requesting visits to Otoh Gunga and audience with the Boss who commanded the Grand Gungan Army. With great discretion, Boss Nass had asked around about whether Theed had received as many requests from outlaunders. If the information he had gained were true, Otoh Gunga was definitely the more popular destination.

  As it showdabe, he thought - and without any malice whatsoever to the brave citizens of Theed.

  Theed was a city rooted in soil and exposed to sky, like so many other cities on Republic worlds. Otoh Gunga, on the other han
d, was mysterious. Far below the surface of Lake Paonga, Otoh Gunga was unaffected by clouds or starlight, representing the most advanced underwater civilization in the known galaxy.

  Boss Nass narrowed his eyes and surveyed the crowd. He recognized some of the more distinctive alien species, including contingents from Duros and Moonus Mandel, who waved penants that displayed the names of their favorite racers. It seemed that everyone had been caught up by Bongomania.

  Boss Nass noticed one of his advisors, Rep Teers, hopping up to his box. Rep Teers leaned close to Boss Nass and said, "Da Ithorian ambassador sayen dat da Otoh Gunga Challenge is mure exciten dan da Podracen on Malastare!"

  Boss Nass grinned. He did not know anything about Podracing, but if the Ithorian ambassador thought it was inferior to bongo racing, that was good enough for the Boss.

  Suddenly the crowd gasped, and Boss Nass followed their collective gaze to the monitors. "What gooie-on?!" Boss Nass demanded. "Where da replay?"

  Boss Nass had missed a crash in the race tube.

  ***

  "Ouches," Neb Neb Goodrow commented as he steered deftly past the wreckage of Friggy Squig's bongo, just before the organic race tube-engineered to eject slow-moving objects opened at the side and spat the demolished sub and its seething pilot into Lake Paonga.

  Neb Neb wondered, What was dot lame-noggin tinken?! Anyone who perpetrated a twisty in front of Spleed Nukkels was about as stupid as...well, Neb Neb was at a loss for an appropriate metaphor. Sometimes, Neb Neb suspected that Spleed lived to teach painful lessons to show-offs like Friggy. The instant Spleed's extended diving plane had tapped Friggy's fins, she threw her sub forward and pulled up sharply, forcing his fins back against the underside of her bongo. Friggy might as well have steered into the side of the tube on purpose.

  Distracted by Friggy's lack of brains, Neb Neb almost did not see Brooboo Seep creeping up along his starboard side. Neb Neb wagged his side stabilizers, which alarmed Brooboo and made him slow down, then sped after Spleed's bongo.

  Spleed was right behind Squidfella Quiglee and Tup Tup Grizbain, who were swerving along the interior of the tube, apparently working together to prevent Spleed from slipping past. Neb Neb dropped below Spleed and maneuvered into a narrow opening between Squidfella and Tup Tup's bongos. Neb Neb heard his engines whine as he swooshed between his rivals and was swept up in the wake of the Opee Fleer, which was nearing the race tube's exit. As the Opee Fleer approached the mouth of the tube, Neb Neb deftly hurtled past the larger sub and maneuvered in front of it, then swerved out of the tube and into Lake Paonga.

  The Opee Fleer hit Neb Neb's hard wake, shuddered, and slowed. The over-eager Tup Tup slammed into the larger sub's stern, nearly pulverizing both bongos. Squidfella frantically steered his bongo past the disabled vessels and miraculously exited the tube without damage.

  Spleed shot from the tube after Squidfella and Neb Neb, stealing a glance to check on the other racers. She spotted Tup Tup, who had abandoned his damaged bongo and was rising up to the surface in his escape bubble. Then she locked eyes on the cockpit of the Opee Fleer, in which three irate Gungans seemed on the verge of strangling one another.

  Spleed steered through an open crevice and plunged into the dark depths. She caught sight of Squidfella's navigational lights and chased his bongo, gliding past a school of luminescent fish. Spleed couldn't spot any remote-seein devices in the crevice, but a moment later she saw why: An electric kreetch eel was chomping on the last one - quite a disappointment to the eager spectators back at Otoh Gunga Garden.

  The eel ignored her, so Spleed accelerated and came up alongside Squidfella's bongo. Perhaps Squidfella had noticed that the remote-seein' devices had been eaten, or maybe he was frustrated with Spleed's tenacity. In any event, without any spectators watching over him, he smiled at Spleed, swung his bongo to the side, and rammed her hard.

  Spleed gritted her teeth but kept her composure, swerving in front of Squidfella. Up ahead, she saw Neb Neb's bongo angling through the cavern. Squidfella rammed her again. This time Spleed slowed down, figuring that she would let the goon pass her, but then felt Squidfella's bongo slam her a third time.

  He wasn't passing.

  Spleed flashed her navigational lights three times at Neb Neb, signalling him that she was in trouble. Traditionally, racers used the signal to warn others of dangerous beasts, but under the circumstances, the signal seemed in order. Squidfella slammed her bongo again, shorting her lights. Spleed didn't want to be anywhere near him, but she didn't much like the idea of flitting about in the cavern without lights. Fortunately, she still had engine power. She tightened her grip on the controls and sped after Neb Neb's sub, with Squidfella chomping at her fins.

  She lost sight of Neb Neb's sub, the only light source coming from Squidfella's bongo behind her. She threw her sub into reverse and bounced off Squidfella's hull.

  Bright lights appeared from behind a jagged outcropping of volcanic rock up ahead. Spleed could see Neb Neb's bongo. He had seen her signal after all and turned about. Neb Neb sized up the situation in an instant and headed for Squidfella, aiming his forward diving plane at Squidfella's cockpit canopy. Squidfella's eyes went wide as his rival's diving plane pierced one of the canopy braces. Spleed spun around in time to see the momentary collision, a flash of light, and the look of horror on Squidfella's face as water sprayed him through cracks in his canopy.

  While Squidfella tried to secure the canopy and halt the leak, Neb Neb and Spleed gazed out through their own hydrostatic canopies to see Brooboo Seep tooling through the open water in their direction.

  Spleed's navigational lights came on, as if on cue. She smiled and stuck her tongue out at Neb Neb, and then both took off, leaving Squidfella with his sinking sub.

  Brooboo Seep's purple bongo was now in the lead, followed by Neb Neb and Spleed. Brooboo emerged from the crevice, returning to Lake Paonga, then skirted around a marker buoy and headed for an underwater mountain. The racers veered toward a narrow, rock-walled tunnel cut through the base of the mountain that would take them back to Otoh Gunga Garden and the finish line.

  Neb Neb and Spleed cleared the crevice and chased after Brooboo. The three submersibles knifed through the deep water, racing over the mountain's foothills and toward the passage. Several remote-seein' devices bobbed around the tunnel's entrance.

  Neb Neb's sub lifted and rolled. The daring Gungan felt his long earlobes flop against the ceiling of his upside-down bongo's canopy, and he stomped on the accelerator. The roll was a deliberate, perhaps even clever attempt to make an inverted pass over the Brooboo's bongo and gain the lead. There was only one problem with Neb Neb's tactic: Spleed was attempting the exact same maneuver.

  The collision was spectacular. There was a loud whummfas a bright spark flared between Neb Neb and Spleed's bongos, which had swung directly over Brooboo Seep's sub, and an explosion of bubbles spilled outward in all directions. The blast pushed down on Brooboo's bongo, tearing at his sub's rotating fins and causing him to swerve, but Brooboo held his course.

  Neb Neb and Spleed were less fortunate. Spleed's forward diving plane had been sheared off, Neb Neb's starboard buoyancy tank had ruptured, and both subs were spinning toward the jagged cliffs of the underwater mountain. As Brooboo vanished into the tunnel's dark orifice, Neb Neb and Spleed punched their respective ejectors, and both pilots - still contained within their hydrostatic cockpit bubbles - were catapulted, seats and all, away from their subs. A split second later, their bongos crashed into the mountain, spraying debris across the lake floor.

  The two ejected bubbles carried their occupants up from the depths, rising with a current that flowed past the side of the mountain. The bubbles were close enough that Neb Neb and Spleed could see each other, and they exchanged knowing glances. Having crashed in previous competitions, they could easily anticipate what would happen next. They would have to face their sponsors, who would no doubt be angered at the loss of the expensive bongos. Then there would be the outcries from
the sport's critics. Dubbed by bongo racers as "fun-boggers," these were the clean-up squads and safety consultants, conservation groups and concerned parents, all of whom would be relieved and delighted were bongo racing abolished.

  Despite these concerns, both Neb Neb and Spleed took certain comfort in one additional bit of knowledge: They were famous. By the next Otoh Gunga Challenge, some race enthusiasts would have to consult a datapad to recall that Brooboo Seep had claimed the last trophy, but nobody would forget the incredible crash and the two Gungans who had survived it.

  Neb Neb and Spleed's hydrostatic spheres broke the water's surface, and the Gungans squinted at the brightness of the daylit sky. They deactivated the upper half of their spheres, leaving each of them sitting in a transparent saucer. Although neither had won the race, both had survived, which was reason enough to perform their post-race ritual. As they were rocking with the waves in their floating hemispheres, the ritual's degree of difficulty was increased greatly, but both believed that to forego the ritual would almost certainly bring bad luck.

  Neb Neb and Spleed faced each other, nodded once, then spoke simultaneously: "Mayda bubbles always bees behind yous." Then they cocked back their necks, hawked, and spat high into the air. With some satisfaction, they watched the twin gobs of saliva arc over the water and collide with a stomach-churning splat. Their aim was true and their good luck was intact.

  Or so they thought.

  ***

  "Yousa revoken uss-ens bongo licenses?!" exclaimed Spleed, who stood beside Neb Neb in the Otoh Gunga office of the bongo race commissioner, Cova Burmooze. Hearing the words "revoken" and "licenses" in the same sentence, Neb Neb looked like he was about to fall ill. It was bad enough that Cova didn't believe a word they'd said about Squidfella Quiglee. lt was even worse that Squidfella's bongo had been found empty in the crevice, and that no one had seen him since the race. Even worse was the fact that Neb Neb and Spleed were widely suspected of having killed Squidfella in the crevice. But now, having their licenses revoked...well, that was the very worst indeed.