Loving My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  “I kind of liked it, too,” I giggle.

  Ash laughs, his wide smile and perfect teeth making an appearance before he turns more serious and sighs. “As much as I want to stare at your gorgeous naked body all day and watch you fall asleep, I really should get back to piloting this tin can.”

  “Can’t the autopilot thingy fly the plane?” I almost whine. He’s so comfy and I don’t want to move.

  He cups my chin, bringing my face around so can place sweet kisses all over it. The kiss to my lips is light but filled with appreciation, tenderness, and love. My heart swells. “It can, but I don’t trust it for long periods of time. Not with you and the baby on board. Besides, you should go shower and eat something before you sleep again.”

  With those words, resolve seems to come over him and he helps me to my feet, helping me into my sweater and slacks. He doesn’t bother with the rest, knowing I’m going to shower anyway.

  Before I leave Ash presses his face into my tummy, letting me stroke his hair as he promises the baby that I’ll give it some food real soon. I smirk down at him, shaking my head. He doesn’t baby talk like some of the others. He speaks to it like it’s a tiny adult. I find it charming.

  With great reluctance and a pleasantly sore body, I find myself in my second shower of the day. Albert had looked quite flustered when I had walked through, keeping his eyes to the window the whole time. Jace hadn’t paid me any attention. Instead, he chose to glare at Albert with his arms crossed. I didn’t have the attention span or mental capacity to ask what that was all about, so I had just quickly walked through. Now, I let the hot water soak into my skin, hopefully washing away all signs of my earlier distress. Oddly, it makes me feel stronger. I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future.

  When I return to the bedroom wrapped in a towel, it’s to find another set of clothes laid out for me. This time it’s a tight pair of black leggings, soft as a peach. Yet another thick sweater and cami set are present, this time in a pale pink, matching the lace panties and bra. I forego the bra, figuring the sweater will hide anything worth hiding. I’m only sitting around and probably sleeping soon.

  Returning to the small bathroom, I brush out my wet hair and blow it dry. I braid it to either side of my head, tying them off with ribbons I found on soap boxes under the cabinet. If I had been awake when we left I could have packed my own bag, and I definitely would’ve remembered hair ties. Though, I do like these white ribbons.

  Albert is waiting for me outside the door. “The Beta Ash has told me you’d like to try some packaged food. I wasn’t sure what that meant, exactly, but I’ve set a few things out.” He gestures for me to walk ahead of him into the cabin area.

  On one of the tables is an odd assortment of frozen meals that heat up in the microwave, cracker and cookie boxes, canned vegetables and fruits, and two different types of sliced bread. “Oh…ummm.” I look over everything, hoping I’ll be able to eat some of it, knowing Tristan didn’t have anything to do with it.

  “There is peanut butter and bread. I could make you sandwich,” Albert offers.

  “No!” I shout, my heartrate spiking instantly.

  Soldiers standing against the walls. Gilded framed paintings. Hot breath at my ear. The knife. Concrete floor. So cold. “If you eat, I get to touch you.”

  “I’ll handle this, Albert. Why don’t you go grab a shower and a change of clothes?” Jace says calmly as he slips in from the control room, closing the door shut behind himself. My eyes connect with his as I try to stop my shaking. I use him as my anchor, keeping me firmly here. Not in that dining room. Not that in house.

  Albert doesn’t argue, just bows in my direction and heads to the back of the plane. Jace studies the table momentarily, circling around me to take a seat at a different set of table and chairs. “You didn’t think this through very well,” he comments casually as he inspects his nails.

  I blow out a breath. “Yeah, well, we can’t all be logistical wizards like you,” I grumble unhappily. He saw what flashed in my head. Does he really not care?

  He smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “No, but you are mated to me. I could have helped you with this problem if you would have let me. I could have had Tristan prepare enough meals to last you for this trip, but…here we are.”

  My nails dig into my palms as I squeeze my fists tightly. “You’re here, aren’t you? Right now, you’re here with me. I have eight mates, Jace. Any one of them would have came with me, but it was you and Ash that I woke up to. No one is forcing you to stay with me. If you want to be mad at me, fine. Go be mad at me somewhere else. Right now, I’m hungry and I need to find a way to eat.”

  He stands to his feet, rebuttoning his suit jacket. “I’m here because I’m the best at diplomacy and negotiation, not to mention a “logistical wizard”, as you so eloquently put it. Believe it or not I’m actually good at a few things, Princess Ivaskov.”

  I throw my hands up, frustration taking over. “What do you want from me, Jace? I apologized. I’m sorry, okay? Nothing I did had anything to do with your ego. I know very little of what you actually do, but I have no doubt that you’re the best at it. It’s just who you are. You work hard at everything you do. You can keep up with Finn when he spouts scientific babble, you’re just as knowledgeable as Reed with art and artists, you’re a good sparring partner for Ash, advise Remington, assist Kellan when he needs help…I get it. You’re good at what you do. I never said you weren’t!”

  He steps close to me, invading my space and forcing my head back to maintain eye contact. Stupid tall people. “You implied it when you left me out of the loop. Like I wasn’t good enough to help the fierce and mighty Kitten take the wolf world by storm. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished. I just expected to be by your side when it happened.”

  “You are!” I scream at him.

  I shove at his chest. He doesn’t move an inch. “You’re here! What don’t you get about that? All I’ve done without you is make a few phone calls. Even then, I spoke to those people like I was one of nine members of a team. Promises I made included things only you and the others could accomplish. Because, Jace, what I accomplish, you accomplish, I can’t do anything without all of you. Do you truly believe that I was never going to tell you any of it?”

  “You would’ve had to at some point. When was that going to be, though? When we were breaking bread with the Alphas of the world?” he scoffs.

  I scrub a hand down my face. “No, Jace,” I say quietly, all the fight leaving me. “It would have ended this morning, either way. I should have woken up squeezed between the twins, but someone carried me onto a plane. I know it wasn’t Albert, as he wouldn’t have dared. I’m not his. But even if I had walked onto the plane myself, a note was left, explaining everything. More importantly, when I did wake up today I was ready to turn this plane around and head back to all of you, because I finally realized my mistake. So, hate me if you want, but don’t go making things up in your head just so you can stay angry.”

  He scoffs. “You think that’s what I’m doing?”

  I step around him, only looking back to shake my head sadly. “I think you’re hurt, and I think you’ve put me in the category with everyone else who has ever hurt you. But you’re mine, Jace. Mine now and forever. I won’t let you walk away from me or harden your heart against me. I’ll love you even if you hate me. If it takes hundreds of years to earn back your trust, then it will be worth every moment. Because you’re worth it. To me, you’re worth anything.”

  I fail at holding back the never-ceasing tears, but I manage to hold back the painful sobs until I close the door on the tiny bedroom. Fine. Not crying isn’t an option, it seems. But I refuse to let them see me cry anymore. Especially Jace.

  Later that night I’m partially awoken from a dream to something being set on the bed beside me. It’s a silver tray, filled with a few packaged food items and a note. The note simply reads: “These are things Tristan doesn’t make by hand, that yo
u eat all the time. Fresh fruits and vegetables should also be fine.”

  I stare at the little slip of paper, wondering who wrote it. Albert is my guess, and I’m just thankful he didn’t make me a sandwich.

  I’m able to force down quite a bit of what’s offered. The crazy dream I was having begins replaying in my head over and over again.

  “Get out here, boy!” Father’s shouts can be heard from every corner of the estate. Servants scurry past me on their way to anywhere but near him. If only I could run away as well.

  “Yes, Father?” I ask woodenly, entering the sitting room where my mother lies in a crying heap at my father’s feet.

  “Don’t you “yes, Father” me, boy! Did you, or did you not, reject the invitation to the princess’ ball?” he bellows, swaying slightly on his feet in his drunken state.

  I swallow thickly, lifting my chin. “I did.”

  Swearing profusely, my father’s dirt-brown eyes glare daggers at me. With a sickening smile, he reaches down for my mother. Backhanding her harder than I’ve ever seen him hit her, he points to me. “I may not be able to hit you and get away with it, but I’ll take it out on this filth if you upset me again,” he threatens.

  “You’re going to send a reply to the princess, informing her that you were mistaken before and that you will be attending her ball.” His tone brooks no argument. “That little twat has been after your hand since she could babble. Your refusal to offer her father a contract is getting old, boy. I’ll see myself in that castle before year’s end, or so help me I’ll kill your mother and burn this whole place down to the nothing you deserve!” As if I’d ever want to step into his role as a duke.

  I watch helplessly as he shakes my mother like a ragdoll before tossing her to the side like she’s nothing. “I’ll send a messenger this evening,” I reluctantly agree.

  Now satisfied his will will be carried out, he leaves us, sending for his man to help him undress. I rush to my mother, helping her onto the settee. “Forgive me, Mother. I know not why he takes his anger out on you. I will end your suffering one day soon,” I promise her with all the strength I have in me.

  Her delicate hand reaches up to stroke my face. “I have every faith in you, my dear boy. Don’t fret over me. Tell me, how was the square this evening?” Her dull gold eyes, a shadow of their former brilliant glory, implore me to let this go. Just like all the other times I’ve witnessed him beating her.

  She knows not what she asks of me. How much longer do I have stand aside, watching the sham of their marriage play out before he eventually kills her? He would’ve killed her long ago if it wasn’t for me, I know it. He hates her. Knowing that her heart belongs to another, a woman, in fact, has been slowly driving him mad for years. Only the birth of his heir saved her. Not so much for the other woman. He held out hope that my mother would come to love him, save him the embarrassment and shame of her actions. That’s never happened, and now I fear he has given up hope of it ever happening. It puts her in more danger than she knows.

  God help me, but I can’t do this anymore.

  It isn’t one of my own memories, I know that. It’s Jace’s. Feeling his helplessness first-hand is crushing. I don’t know if he’s sleeping and slipped up, allowing me to see a glimpse of his past, or if he pushed it at me on purpose. If so, I can’t figure out what he was hoping I’d learn from it.

  Yes, no doubt it was an accident. A rare peek at what haunts Jace behind that perfect façade of his. I really hope my actions didn’t bring this on for him.

  I feel better now that I have food in my stomach. I’m sure the baby is happy about it, too. Shoving the tray aside, I curl up with the spare pillows. I wish it was one of my mates, but Ash has to fly the plane and Jace…Jace hates me. It’s a been a long time since I’ve felt this alone.

  Chapter Eight

  Stepping off the plane is an experience in and of itself. The sun is blindingly bright, the dry heat washing over me like when you open an oven door too quickly. And…we’re in a desert.

  Don’t get me wrong, I knew Australia had a large stretch of desert in the center, but almost all the people seem to live around the lush edges, which is where I thought we were going. Oh, and the half-wolf/half-humans surrounding us with guns and spears is a new experience as well.

  Ash stands firmly in front of me, his body tense as his eyes scan the threat around us. I feel Jace and Albert behind me, Jace’s hand tightly gripping my arm as if he wants to pull me back into the safety of the plane. The half-shifted wolves stand their ground silently, neither retreating nor moving in for the kill.

  They’re waiting. It only takes a few minutes to find out what for. I can feel the power rolling off the very large, yet very different-looking Alpha wolf weaving a path to the front of the crowd. His stance is predatory, lips pulled back in a rumbling warning growl, teeth bared.

  I sigh heavily. Well, this isn’t going how I wanted it to. And we’ve only been here for mere minutes. I put my hand on Ash’s shoulder, leaning around his large frame. I smile brightly at the angry wolf, waving cheerily. “Hello, Alpha Kendrick! You wouldn’t answer our calls, so we thought we’d stop by on our way…around the world? I don’t know, we’re here, so, nice to meet you,” I chirp awkwardly.

  He barks viciously in our direction, the wolves around him bending their knees, readying to pounce. I slip by Ash, moving in front of him. He grunts in disapproval, but I stay close enough that he can reach me, so he allows the move.

  Pressing my lips together in a frown, I place my hands on my hips. “This is no way to greet your future allies. This is my first trip anywhere and I won’t have it ruined by a stubborn Alpha. We’re going to talk, and we’re going to find a way to be friends. We get it, you’re scary and we’re outnumbered. Point made. Though, I do have six other mates back home who won’t hesitate to finish off the rest of you if any harm comes to us.” I add the warning at the end with a pleasant smile on my face, like I don’t have a care in the world.

  The Alpha shifts in an instant and I keep my eyes trained on his face. “The rest of us?” he asks with scorn.

  I bob my head. “Oh, yes. I’m sure the two Betas with me will end quite a few of your lives before you manage to subdue us all.”

  “Kitten, chill,” Jace whispers harshly, now standing closely behind Ash.

  I turn my head to whisper back. “No, he’s a bully and this this how you deal with them.”

  Jace glares at me. “This isn’t your typical human bully. This one can kill you.”

  Our argument is cut short as the Alpha gestures the armed wolves forward with a flick of his wrist. “You dare come to my lands, unannounced, to threaten me?”

  I put one hand out in a stopping motion. “No, I came here to talk with you. To make peace. If I wanted to fight you, I would have brought a whole fleet of planes. You’re the one too busy to answer a phone, or else we’ve would have been announced.”

  I quickly turn back to Jace. “Is a group of planes called a fleet? Or is that just boats?” I whisper quietly.

  “For the love of god, Kitten. Focus!” he demands.

  I huff my annoyance, turning around to face the Alpha again. If Finn were here, he would have answered me.

  Kendrick now paces below the steps, his eyes narrowed in thought. He takes his time, clearly thinking his next move through carefully. I grow impatient, stepping down a few more stairs, lowering my voice to a normal volume.

  “I really do wish to simply speak with you. I don’t know what this war is about, or why you declared it in the first place. If nothing else, am I not owed an explanation?”

  Kendrick comes to a halt, blinking big eyes at me. He appears stunned. He studies me, coming to some conclusion as he releases a harsh laugh. He stands with hands on his hips as he addresses me. “You honestly don’t have a clue, do you? How is that even possible?”

  I don’t know if he’s speaking to himself or to me, so I shrug my shoulders. “Maybe we can figure that out together once we sit do
wn and talk.” I smile sweetly at him.

  To my relief he laughs again, less harsh this time. “You know what? Fuck it, let’s have a chat, little princess.” He turns abruptly, clearing a path through his men and gesturing for us to follow.

  I twist around to smile happily at the guys, seeing them already making their way down the steps. Ash still seems wary, and Albert flustered, but Jace actually looks impressed. That makes me smile wider.

  My mates take positions on either side of me, Albert trailing behind us. I meet the eyes of all those we pass, smiling to them as well and nodding to those who do the same to me. We walk for what feels like forever, the Australian wolves flanking us, many still half-shifted and meeting our pace. Alpha Kendrick is way ahead of us, his stride quick and sure.

  I watch as he enters a very tall rock formation through an arched opening. The rock is the same reddish color of the sandy dirt that stretches as far as the eye can see. I would call the cluster of them mountains due to their size but I feel that would be the wrong word, as they seem to be free-standing, almost like they were placed here by a giant in the middle of a flat desert. I find it enchanting. Magical, almost. My excitement skyrockets as we approach the entrance, which I now can see is a tunnel carved through, and I can’t wait to see what awaits inside.

  Ash moves to take the lead as we step through the dimly-lit tunnel. It only takes a moment for my eyes to adjust after being under the bright sun for so long. The shade is blissful, but short- lived as we step out of the other side of the tunnel into the center of the rock formations. I gasp in awe at what I see. On every surface inside of the mountainous rocks are more tunnels, arched caverns and bridges connecting them all. In the center is a large, circular home built with large beams and sitting on a raised platform over a deep-looking pool of water.

  “It’s not as fancy as your castles and whatnot, but it’s home.” A sneering voice makes me close my open mouth and leaves me blinking dumbfounded at the Alpha.