A Sweet and Sassy Match

by Stevie MacFarlane

  “You know it does,” he said firmly.

  “Well it pleases me, too,” she told him. “I know you’ve always held back with me, afraid to hurt me. Tonight was the first time I saw you like me. Do you understand? You were full of passion and fire, unable to control your instincts…almost,” she frowned, remembering how at the last moment he’d taken the upper hand.

  “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I thought you were holding back from me and that I won’t allow.”

  “As if I could,” she whispered. “Are you sorry you slapped my ass?”

  “No,” he laughed. “I love spanking your ass.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” she sighed, settling back down on his chest.

  “Johanna is this going to be a problem?” he asked quietly, dreading her answer.

  “I don’t know yet,” she replied sleepily. “I’ll let you know when I decide,” she told him yawning.

  Seconds later he heard a soft snore. Well, hell, he thought before closing his eyes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sam tossed and turned most of the night until he finally slipped out of bed just before dawn. Pulling on his boxers, he quietly left the room and headed to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Holding the cup in his hands, he stood at the sink and stared out the window.

  The sun was just coming up, indicating it would be another beautiful day. Last night had been a great success personally as well as professionally. Johanna talked to several of the women, and he believed she more fully understood the function of Sugar Babies. He was happy to see two of his best friends find someone to share their lives with. Making love with Johanna was everything he’d imagined and more, and he was finally able to let himself go without fear of hurting her. So what was eating at him? He had everything he’d worked for, more money than he could spend, a beautiful woman, a thriving business. What else was there? Where was the elusive contentment he sought?

  He thought about all he had worked to achieve. There had been many opportunities for him to find a woman for himself, but he’d always held back. No one ever touched his heart the way Johanna did. He knew what he wanted from a relationship, had explained it to her from the first. It was in his very nature to be the dominant partner, and he knew he would never be truly happy for any length of time any other way. But he knew what was coming, had sensed it for a while, he realized. Yes, he’d spanked her, but she never really accepted his authority. The times she had caved were because he’d forced her, not because she’d surrendered to him in her heart. Hell, she said she would ‘brain him’ that one night and probably would have if she had been at all able to overpower him. Now, she had issues. Things she had to think about and would let him know. What the hell did that mean?

  Sex obviously wasn’t going to be an issue; they were explosive together. He couldn’t get enough of her, thought about her constantly, and she was responsive to all of his suggestions. Yeah, his mind added, when she was getting her butt roasted or seconds from an orgasm, she would agree to anything. She was a contradiction who looked like an angel, a soft cuddle kitten, but had a backbone of steel under that delicate frame. He wasn’t a stupid man and he knew she’d had to be tough to get where she was, especially with her childhood. He was proud of her accomplishments. She was smart and creative, hardworking and kind. She always made time for other people, even when she was exhausted. But she was also stubborn and disorganized, putting her needs last to the point of it being detrimental to her health. Could he stand back and watch her disintegrate? Stand back and say, “Yes, Dear, go ahead and do whatever you want as long as you think it’s best”? Because that’s what was coming today; he knew it as surely as he knew his own name. At some point, she would explain to him that she loved him, and that part was true he realized. She would continue in her kind gentle way to tell him that she wanted to be with him more than anything, but she didn’t want the spankings, the discipline, and she would run her own life. She didn’t see that she was like the hamster on the wheel, running and running, trying to please everyone, yet going nowhere. She would be old before her time, the spark in her eyes dimming with the years until there was nothing left of the real Johanna but a distant memory of the vibrant woman she had once been. He wanted so much more for her. He wanted to be everything to her, a father she never had, and a lover who took her to the moon and back. Sam wanted to show her the world, teach her how to play and most of all entrust her with his heart. The one thing he couldn’t do was be a bystander in her life. It went against all that he was, all that he should be. Sighing, he rinsed his cup and went back to bed, pulling her into his arms, her bottom pressed tightly to his rapidly growing erection. Ignoring his desire, he closed his eyes. Today he would listen to what she had to say and weigh his options. He couldn’t even conceive of walking away, but he wasn’t sure he could live a life of constant frustration either. Eventually he would become a very angry and bitter man as he watched the woman he loved self-destruct.

  They talked over the breakfast table, holding hands every now and then, not content to just look at each other. They’d had a very satisfying sexual interlude in the shower this morning that involved lots of hot kisses and ended with Johanna pinned against the enclosure wall, her legs wrapped around Sam’s waist as he buried himself to the hilt inside her. His huge hands supported her ass as he lifted her up and down in a slow rhythm that drove her insane. Her slippery legs lost their grip on his waist when she came. Still, he never let her go, just held her suspended, impaled by his cock, and waited. This is one seriously strong man, she thought when she’d recovered her senses and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breasts pressed against his chest, the soft hair rubbing her nipples, and she forced her shaky limbs to return to their position.

  “Good girl,” he breathed as he nipped her throat and began again. She came again quickly, and he followed, pistoning into her like a machine. As he filled her, spasms rocked her yet again, and when he finally set her down, she couldn’t stand. Sinking to the floor of the stall, he held her in his arms as the warm water soothed her quivering body. After, he cared for her as tenderly as any parent could have. He soaped her all over, washed her hair and dried her carefully. Throwing on his clothes he kissed her, leaving her to dress in privacy as he headed to the kitchen to start breakfast.

  Johanna scrambled eggs while Sam made the toast and poured the orange juice. Somehow both of them knew their relationship was about to change in a big way and neither was in any hurry to be the one to bring it up.

  “Did you have a good time at the party last night?” he asked her.

  “I did,” she answered, a little surprise in her voice. “It wasn’t at all what I’d expected.”

  “Let me guess,” he teased. “You expected a room full of Neanderthals tossing screaming women over their shoulders and carting them off somewhere to spank?”

  “Not the Neanderthals,” she tossed back with a grin.

  Sam snorted.

  “Sam, speaking of spanking, we need to talk.”

  “I gathered that much from what you said last night. Was there something that happened between us that upset you, sweetheart? In the bedroom, I mean.”

  “No,” she quickly assured him, taking his hand again. “I’ve never…well let’s just say that it was wonderful.”

  “Then what is it?” he asked gently.

  Johanna stood and took their plates to the sink. This was so difficult, and if he didn’t understand, it could be disastrous. Finding her courage she turned and faced him.

  “Sam, I don’t like getting spanked!” she finally got out, hanging onto the counter with her hands behind her back.

  As serious as this was, Sam had to turn his face away to hide his smile. Forcing a bland expression he turned back to her.

  “Honey, nobody likes getting spanked,” he said. “The answer to your dilemma would seem obvious: Be good.”

  “That’s just it, Sam. I can’t be good; I mean not like you want me
to. I love you so much, I can’t even imagine my life without you, but I also can’t imagine spending the next twenty years getting my bottom spanked every time you don’t approve of what I do. It scares me,” she admitted, looking at the floor.

  “I scare you?” he asked stunned.

  “Well not always,” she offered, worried that she had hurt his feelings. “Just when I know I’m doing or about to do something you won’t like. I forget to have lunch, Sam, and I know I’m not the most organized person in the world. I bounced a check the other day and I found myself tearing up the notice as soon as I got it because I was afraid you’d see it and… well, you know. The check engine light has been on in my car for weeks; that’s why I haven’t driven it anywhere where you would be likely to see it. I can’t live like this, Sam,” she said, standing up straighter. “I want you to love me, but I’m not the person you think I am. I’m not all sunshine and light. In fact, sometimes I can be a real bitch!”

  “You are not a bitch, nor could you ever be,” he informed her firmly. “I’ve seen you tired and cranky and I’ve seen you run yourself ragged trying to please everyone, but you’ve never been a bitch.”

  “Okay, then maybe a witch,” she offered in compromise. “I just need you to understand that I hate it when you spank me and you need to stop.”

  “Have I caused you such pain that you’re willing to throw all we have away?” he asked quietly.

  “It’s not the pain, Sam, though lord knows that’s bad enough,” she answered while trying to control her panic at the thought of losing him. “I think it’s about giving up the control.”

  “Yet you have no problem giving up control in the bedroom,” he said thoughtfully. “You give your body to me freely, eagerly. Why is that do you suppose?”

  “That’s different,” she insisted. “That’s fun.”

  “And being disciplined for not taking care of yourself is not fun,” Sam mused.

  “Exactly!” she agreed enthusiastically. “You do understand”

  “I understand completely. You want all the benefits of a relationship with me, but none of the obligations. You’ll allow me to meet your needs sexually, but I’m not supposed to care about you, not really. I’m supposed to allow you do exactly as you please even when it’s detrimental to you and our relationship. The control issue is bullshit. You’re either lying to me or to yourself. I haven’t hurt you in any substantial way except your pride, Jo. You don’t want a spanking because it hurts, as it should. It points out in a very clear way that you are not the be all and end all. There is someone stronger than you and you don’t like that. This is not about my control over you; it’s about your control over every aspect of your life. That’s why you can’t say no to anyone. You can’t stand the thought of making anyone mad and ruining the image you’ve perfected over the years of sweet, perfect Jo- so helpful, so kind, always ready to lend a hand. God forbid anyone see through that to the sad, broken little girl inside. But I’ve seen her, Jo, and I love her. I’ve seen her crying over my knees as I paddle her ass and I’ve seen her snuggled in my arms when it’s over, loving me for giving a shit about what she does or doesn’t do.”

  Jo was still at the sink, shaking so hard she could hardly breathe as tears streamed down her face. She was the picture of misery, and Sam’s heart ached for her.

  “I get that it makes you vulnerable, loving me. I’m vulnerable, too, and I don’t like it either. You could break my heart just as easy as I can break yours, and maybe you will in the end. But I’m here to tell you I’m not your father, and I won’t desert you. You need to let that little girl out and deal with this, or you’ll be carrying her around for the rest of your life. He didn’t leave because you weren’t perfect; he left because he was a selfish ass. I don’t spank you because you aren’t perfect, Jo. I spank you because I love you, and it scares the hell out of me to think I could lose you. I can see you stepping off a curb into traffic while you’re hurrying to take care of a problem that isn’t yours and you didn’t create. I don’t want to be standing next to your hospital bed with you in a coma because you couldn’t find the time to eat a decent meal.”

  Hugging herself, Jo blinked back her tears.

  “Are you finished?” she asked, her pride wrapped around her like a shield.

  “Not yet,” he replied. Sam wanted so badly to take her into his arm and comfort her, but he wasn’t going to show any weakness. This was too important and would define their relationship from this day forward.

  “As far as the twenty years goes that you mentioned earlier, forget it. A spanked wife is a spanked wife and the length of the marriage has nothing to do with it.”

  “Who said anything about marriage,” she asked, her chin tilted up in challenge.

  “I’m saying it now. I love you, Jo, and I want you to be my wife, and while I’m at it, I may as well tell you all of it. I want you to quit your job and spend as much time with your mother as you can, while you still can. I want you to keep our home and take care of any children we may have. You can garden or go back to school part-time or do any other damn thing that you think you’d enjoy. I really don’t care as long as it’s a safe environment. But here’s the kicker, honey. I want you there when I come home and I don’t want an exhausted, frazzled wife. You can hire a housekeeper, and if the time comes, a nanny, but you won’t be working yourself to death on my watch. I will spank you if you disobey me and you can bet your life, it will hurt! If that makes me a male chauvinist pig or a Neanderthal, then so be it. I’ll compromise where I can, but there will definitely be parts of marriage to me that you will not like. In contrast to that, there will be parts you will adore, and I’ll tell you upfront I will make love to you at every available opportunity.”

  “I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided to sell the business to Jeff. I will maintain fifty-one percent of the stock so that I’m assured the basic principles of Sugar Babies are never jeopardized, but I’m ready to let it go. As far as me working, I’ll hang out a shingle somewhere in town and return to practicing law. I don’t need the money, but I do need to feel useful and that I am contributing something to society.”

  Standing up away from the table, Sam approached her, but didn’t touch her.

  “Any questions?” he asked softly.

  “So that’s it,” she said. “Basically your way or the highway?”

  “I’m afraid so, sweetheart. This morning I was of a different frame of mind. I knew there was something bothering you and I was prepared to do anything in my power to make it better. After hearing what you had to say, I realized that if I gave in to you on this, I would be a fool. In the end, we would end up hating each other. I would hate myself for not standing on my principles each and every time you did something foolish and I would just be another person you thought you had to be perfect for. It would never have worked. I’m sorry.”

  “So is there a deadline on this offer?” she asked, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

  “No deadline on the marriage, I’m a patient man,” he said, ignoring her snort of disbelief. “As far as the relationship, I’d like to say we could still be friends, but it would never work. I don’t usually spank my friends, but in your case I could make an exception and once I had my hands on you - well let’s just say I don’t think I could control my natural instincts and leave it at that. Think about it, Jo,” Sam told her, gently stroking her cheek. “I’ll be in town until the end of the month and you know how to reach me. I love you, honey,” he whispered as he walked to the door.

  “Sam, about my mother…” Johanna called after him. “I don’t think it’s appropriate, under the circumstances, for you to…”

  “I will continue to pay for her care and if there is anything else she needs, you’d better tell me, if you have a shred of self-preservation in that obstinate little head of yours” he ordered firmly with a look in his eye that clearly indicted he meant business.

  “Okay,” she answered, suppressing a shiver a
s she wiped a tear away. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he answered as he closed the door.

  As soon as the door clicked shut, Jo crumpled to the floor. She sat, her arms wrapped around her knees, her head resting on them as she sobbed her heart out. Happiness had just walked out her door and she remembered the day she’d watched her mother react exactly the same way.

  “Fuck you, Sam,” she said out loud, raising her chin after a long while. “I can take care of myself,” she insisted, forcing her body to get up off the floor and using a dish towel to dry her face. “I don’t need you!” she sniffed in distain. But she knew the words were lies even as they left her lips.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Johanna spent the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday forcing herself to return to what she thought of as pre-Sam mode. She cleaned out her fridge, mopped the floors, vacuumed, dusted, and did laundry. She even went as far as getting out a ladder and washing the cupboards down. The only thing different was that she couldn’t stop crying. She cried on her furniture as she dusted, left streaks on the windows that her blurry eyes didn’t even see. It got so bad that she carried a box of tissues and a small grocery bag with her from room to room.

  When she changed her sheets, she buried her face in them and sobbed all the way to the washer, smelling Sam’s cologne and remembering the thrill of his touch. Scrubbing the shower, she tried to wash away every trace of him, but she couldn’t wash away the memory.

  Jo gathered every single thing that belonged to him, lined a box with a big garbage bag and packed the items inside. Her tears drenched his dinner jacket as she folded it, and she couldn’t stop herself from removing the rose from his lapel. It was still fragrant and as she smelled it, she couldn’t believe how quickly her life had changed. Not even enough time for the flower to die and yet she was dead inside, she thought, as she let the rose drop from her hand. Closing the box, she taped it shut and wrote ‘SAM’ across it with a Sharpie. Dragging it to her little front porch, she pushed it into a corner and left it.